6
The Shadow Files 1 – Fork in the Road
On a rooftop high above the streets of Gotham, in the heart of the city. Nightwing prepares to leave for Bludhaven for good…
"You're going to leave again aren't you?" Shadow asked Nightwing.
"I have to. I cant stay in this city forever. I have duties else where."
"But what about me? Don't you love me?"
Nightwing walked up to her and caressed her cheek.
"Of course I do, but it's too late for us."
Shadow turned from him sharply.
"What, just because I look younger than you?"
"No, because I'm already much older than you. Don't you see it?"
"Of course I do! But I don't care! I want to be with you. Isn't love all that matters?"
"Yes, but I don't want to see you get hurt." He said.
"And you think this doesn't?"
"No, I know it does, but I'm not going to change my mind no matter how unbearable the pain is. It's for the best."
Cat scoffed at him and began to cry.
"Fine have it your way. You are the adult here."
Dick was hurt by her comment.
"Please don't be that way."
"What way? It's true isn't it? Look at me I'm a twenty-four year old virgin! I haven't even been kissed! The least you could do is give me my first kiss."
The words were out and gone before she knew what happened but she was glad. An idea formed and Dick seemed to know exactly what was on her mind. He started shaking his head as Cat walked closer.
"Oh come on. What could a kiss hurt?"
Dick placed a hand on her shoulder.
"More than you think. You'll want more and it'll hurt worse than it does now."
Cat remained silent for a moment.
"Of course it will, but don't you think if I am to continue living I must learn to live with pain? Everyone I know and love will grow old and die while I remain here for eternity. I want to remember something. I want to remember something good, something without pain. I want… to remember you."
Dick understood how she was feeling but he was still reluctant.
"Please, I promise I won't ask anything more of you. You can move on and forget it ever happened if you want. I just want to be held, to be loved even if it last for a moment. That moment will help me live."
Dick was silent but then decided to give him self more time to think.
"I'll think about it. I'm not leaving for a few days. I'll come see you before I do."
And with that the matter was dropped and Cat returned to Bruce's mansion, spending the next few days awaiting Dick's farewell visit.
Dick chose to arrive on a clear night. Cat heard him jump onto her balcony and sat up. She got out of bed and went out on to the balcony to meet him.
"Are you sure this is what you want?"
"Yes."
Dick was hesitant to kiss Catarena. She picked up on his hesitation and read his body language wrong.
"Do you not want to kiss me because of what I am now? Because I'm not human?" She asked as she transformed.
Her ears and tail twitched to the sounds of the night and her bright blue eyes glowed from the moonlight. He looked at her quickly and stepped up to her, running his fingers through her silky black hair to her large cat ear. He held it cupped in his hand and looked into her eyes.
"Of course not. And you're half human. I'm worried that once I start kissing you I wont want to stop." He said.
"So don't stop. Even if it's just one night. You want to and I want you to." She said.
He stood silent, thinking for a moment but moved forward but stopped again when he noticed how tense Cat was. Dick was within inches from her face and he smiled his hand still on her cheek.
"Relax."
Dick said quietly and Cat swallowed hard again, taking a deep breath. Cat blushed and lowered her head slightly to escape Dick's gaze.
"I … I don't know what to do." Cat said quietly.
Dick lifted her chin slightly and Cat caught his gaze again.
"You don't have to do anything but enjoy it. Follow my lead, you'll do fine."
Dick told her in a low enchanting tone barely an inch from Catarena's lips. Slowly and gently Dick touched his lips to Cat's and started to kiss her. At first Cat remained still but soon she felt the rhythm of Dick's kiss and she started to react. She was still timid and let Dick make all the moves but she was relaxed and she melted against him. Dick hesitated to press further with the kiss in fear that he himself would get carried away. Part of him didn't want to care, and mindlessly kiss her until the sun came up. Turns out he was listening to that part of him.
"I'll always love you." He whispered.
Just as Dick had hoped Catarena believed what happened had been a dream and when she came to him a few days after he denied her what her "dream" had let her experience. Feeling angry and betrayed she let the "dream" fall to the back of her memory to one day be forgotten. It was after this that Catarena decided to travel over seas to train and continue college just as Bruce had done before becoming Batman. Upon hearing of Catarena's departure Dick became concerned that it was because of him and immediately tried to contact her, but Cat would not take his calls and ignored him.
"He's just concerned about you Cat." Barbara told her over the phone.
"I don't care I don't want to talk to him! I know I'm being childish but I couldn't give a damn anymore. This is something I've got to do and if he wants to talk to me so bad then he'll have to sit down and write me a letter and I doubt that will happen since her went back to what he wanted to get away from. I don't want a phone to my apartment any more. I have my locator and Bruce knows where I am. I'll inform you if I leave the country or anything." Cat told her.
"Does this mean I can give him your address?" Barbara asked.
"Sure. Hold it for ransom; you could make an easy buck off him." Cat said with bitter sarcasm.
"Maybe I will. When we hang up I'll disconnect your phone and inform Bruce. If you need us… you know how to find us." She said and Cat said her goodbyes.
- A few days later -
"Come on Babs give me the new number please." Dick pleaded with her over the phone.
"I told you Dick she doesn't have a phone anymore, not even a cell phone. She wants to be left alone so she can study and train. And why do you care so much? I thought you weren't going to be with her to spare her feelings when you have to die someday. Change your mind or something?" She asked him.
"No I just want to hear from here why she's doing this. I want to apologize for leaving her. We're still friends, I'll always love her like a sister, you know that." Dick told her.
"I know, and I swear to you if I had a number to give you I would but I don't. You'll really have to sit and write her a letter." Barbara told him and he sighed.
"I know. I've just got some things to take care of first. Will you send me the address?" He asked.
"You know I will." Barbara told him.
- A week later -
Dick finished what he needed and told Batman what he needed to say. He had now decided to continue as Nightwing but bring his help to Bludhaven.
"But before I can get into this new life I've got to see to something else first." Dick said, referring to Cat.
"I won't help you find her." Bruce told him.
"I wouldn't dream of asking. I've got her address." Dick told him and Bruce said not a word.
By the end of the next week Dick was in Paris trying to find Cat and doing a horrible job at speaking French. But before too long he found where she was living, and didn't like it at all. Her neighborhood didn't appear bad but her apartment complex was small. Dick staked Cat out for a few days trying to see what her life was like; he stayed in crowded areas so that she wouldn't smell his scent and wore a well enough disguise so that he wouldn't attract her eye. She went to school all day and then home to work at a flower shop below her apartment complex and then home again to do homework and on the weekends she trained from a man she had tracked down to Paris. From dawn until well into the night Cat trained her body and even in her tiny apartment she'd set up things so that she could train. He also did some digging at the school she was attending and discovered she was taking fifteen classes, which was insane for a normal student who would only take five or so to meet the nineteen hour max, but her GPA was straight A's even that early in the semester so no one would take a second glance at her file. Catarena had gotten into the school by taking an IQ test and on the spot they gave her a full ride. Her score was just short of a genius; Dick knew this had to be because of her abilities. She had also learned French in a very short amount of time and Babs told him it was because of her abilities as well. After a few days of listening to a language being spoken she learned to speak and understand it as well. Dick knew he shouldn't stay much longer and knew he should talk to her. So one night he camped out in her apartment until she came home from work.
When she came home that night she knew exactly who had been there, and pretended she didn't know Dick was there. She had known he'd been following her for a while. She entered her apartment and turned on the light, Dick was in the closet, she placed her bag on her desk and started taking out some books. She sat down and started her homework. For a split second Dick thought he'd gotten past Catarena's sharp senses but he realized what she was doing and felt stupid. After a minute or two Cat spoke to him.
"What are you doing here?" Cat said and Dick came out of the closet.
He really didn't know how to answer her but he didn't know why he'd come.
"I'm impressed though I didn't expect this let alone a letter." She said and he was hurt by the comment.
"Don't you have any faith in me at all? I did call. Several times." Dick told her.
"Don't turn this around you still haven't answered me."
"Why are you doing this? Why did you leave?" Dick asked.
"You know why I'm doing this. What does it matter, you left too. I moved on."
"But you don't have to have this life. You could have a normal life." He said.
"A normal life? A normal life with you?" She asked and Dick was hurt yet again.
Her comments were like daggers.
"My life will never be normal again. I chose this path because I was given a gift and instead of abusing it I'm going to use it for good. You couldn't even leave this life. So do you really need to ask me why I'm doing this?" Cat said.
"But why now? You could be out enjoying life." He said.
"Who says I don't? You were following me, you should know I'm doing more things I love now than I did at home. And I will enjoy life… Later, after I've trained my body and mind. I have more time than I need for fun." Cat told him and he was silent.
There was a pause and Cat chose to pick at what she thought he had denied her.
"You know your reason for coming here was pretty lame. You're not changing your mind about the kiss you denied me are you?" Cat asked.
He was glad she still thought what really happened was a dream, but he wasn't going back on what he did.
"No I didn't. I just wanted to see if your reason for leaving was because you're angry at me." Dick said to her.
"I am angry at you, I'll get over it, but it's not the reason why I left. I felt it was just the right time to." Cat said.
"I'm sorry… I hope you'll forgive me one day." Dick said.
"I will." Cat told him.
"I guess I won't see you till you get back?"
"You could write." Cat said but he did not respond.
"I know I lost my cover when you went to the chamber choir club but I don't care. You have a beautiful voice. I could listen to you sing forever. I just wanted you to know that. I know it's because of your abilities but I'm glad you found a place you can be yourself..." He said to her.
"Thank you." She replied.
"When will you come back?" Dick asked before he left.
"I don't know." Cat told him, she could see the sadness on his face.
"Goodbye Catarena. I'll write you."
Dick told her but she knew it wouldn't happen.
"Goodbye Dick." She said and he left.
A few months passed and Dick never wrote as Catarena had known would happen. But on her birthday, October 31st, a large box arrived and when she came home after school it was waiting for her. It said it had come from Gotham but it didn't say from whom. Cat took it upstairs and opened it quickly. Inside was a bouquet of fresh flowers, all of which were her favorites. They were resting on a beautiful blanket. It was a winter blanket with a picture of a beautiful black panther on it. The blanket was gray and navy blue and the panther's eyes were blue like hers. Cat took it out of the box after she put the flowers in water. The blanket was soft and warm, just what she needed for winter. As she opened it there was a bag of all the candy she couldn't get overseas, that were her favorites as well. There was also a letter and she opened it. When Cat saw that it was from Dick she smiled and nearly cried. 'Dear Cat, I'm sorry I never wrote you. I probably will never get a chance to sit and write an actual letter but I can send gifts much quicker. I hope you have a wonderful birthday. I know how much you enjoy Halloween. Trick-or-Treat. Love Dick.' The letter read and all Cat's angry thoughts toward Dick seemed to fade away.
Later that evening Cat went to a phone booth to call Dick. She got his answering machine which didn't surprise her but she liked it better this way.
"Thank you for the gifts. The blanket is beautiful." Cat said to the machine and hung up.
It was all she needed to say to express her happiness to Dick. That night he got the message and it made him smile.
Every year that Cat was away Dick sent her a gift on her birthday. Always her favorite flowers: birds of paradise, black roses, violets and lilies. A very odd combination. He also sent her something from home that she'd miss or need that she couldn't get. No matter where she was she always got the package on her birthday.
- A few years later -
Cat was overseas for five years. And during this time Jason Todd, the second Robin died, and the third Robin Timothy Drake came into the picture. Cat did return home for brief periods knowing she needed breaks from time to time. She became fast friends with Tim and took him under her tutelage. She taught him anything she could whenever she was in town. They even started to write back and forth a few times a month and as the years past Cat watched this young boy turn into a man. She knew early on in her last year away that he was falling in love with her. She tried to deny her own feelings but it was easier to do so being far away. She was worried to return home but part of her wanted to love him despite the pain that would eat her heart. Tim looked to Dick for guidance and told Tim he and Cat had grown up together but hadn't talked in some time. Cat wanted Tim to promise he wouldn't tell anyone when she was returning home but Tim knew she'd want someone there and he knew Dick should be that person.
When Cat arrived she didn't expect anyone to be there and when she entered the gate area and saw Dick standing there waiting for her she almost cried. She smiled as she caught his gaze and walked over. She walked right to him and without a word she hugged him warmly. He embraced her and all the negative vibes between them were gone. She released him and he let her step back to get a look at her.
"It seems the birdie likes to sing." She said with a grin.
"He thought someone should be here to welcome you home." He told her and she smiled.
"I'm glad." She said.
"So do you have any other bags?" He asked as they started walking.
"Two trunks." She said as she led the way to baggage claim.
After her luggage was picked up Dick took Cat to his Bludhaven apartment because it was closer and she hadn't seen it before.
"Wow nice digs. You've really made a little life for your self here. A cop, vigilante, apartment building owner and circus owner, leader of the Outsiders…" Cat listed as she looked around.
Dick grinned; he figured she'd keep up with what was going on. He figured she had been talking to Babs over the years.
"I try. So what did you learn?" He asked and Cat gave a laugh.
"More than you can comprehend."
She told him and he lamely tried to lighten the mood again.
"So the basics huh?" He said, and she smiled.
"Yeah pretty much. But on a serious note… you know how this training is. Essentially being trained to kill. So yeah I learned to be a trained killer. But I also learned something to keep people safe from me if the animal ever loses control." She said and he was a little confused.
"What do you mean?"
"I'm a hybrid, part human part animal. These two sides are in balance but in times of extreme danger animal instincts can take over." She said.
"Kill or be killed." He said and she nodded.
"So how can we stop that from happening?"
"I was trained like a solider… a warrior. I will listen to people I respect, who my animal mind sees as the masters. Right now these people consist of my sensei, Bruce, Alfred, Babs, Tim and you."
"What if someone like Clay Face comes along and imitates us to order you to do things you don't want to do?" He asked.
"I'll be able to tell who is an imposter no matter how much of my mind is under control. I'm sorry to be a downer but I felt I should explain it when I had the chance." She said.
"No that's alright. Consider it explained, but it sounds kinda like we're treating you like a pet." Dick said.
"Believe me it's for the best." She said and he nodded his understanding.
Just then Dick received a transmission over his JLA reserve communicator. Apparently Wonder Woman was having a problem about Wonder Girl joining the Teen Titans without being notified and it seemed like a few JLA senior members were joining her mission. Dick sighed and looked at Cat.
"Looks like the kids are fighting with the parents again…" He said.
"I'm not even home for an hour and things are already getting interesting." Cat replied with a grin.
"Things never calm down, you know that. So, wanna come along?" He asked.
"You bet! I've been itching to wear my new costume." Cat said and they prepared to leave.
When one of the Batwings auto piloted it's self to Dick's apartment they were soon on their way to Titans Tower in San Francisco to break up the childish dispute.