Sleepless in Manhattan – Chapter 3

Ever since her recovery began, Kate had noticed that there were good days and bad days. Today had been a good day. Her usually tight, achy muscles felt loose even after her walk and exercises. The yoga session seemed to have rejuvenated her enough to prepare a healthy vegetarian meal; veggies that she had gotten on a surprisingly pain-free walk to the local grocer. The steam from the hot shower rose in swirls around her, making her just light headed enough to feel a quaint sense of tranquility. She didn't even feel like shooting the bird that usually incessantly chirped away, perched upon the branch outside her living room window.

She felt relatively better. Jim Beckett hadn't badgered her about calling her friends or returning to the city. He hadn't placed a world of guild on top of her preexisting burdens. He'd just shared an anecdote from his day, and told her he loved her. It had been a good day.

It didn't have anything to do with Sleepless in Manhattan. Not a thing. After all, she wasn't going to listen to him – it, she wasn't going to listen to it today.

Kate found herself decidedly averting her gaze from the little radio in the evening. The tiny black box perched upon the end table next to the sofa. It looked so innocent, when it was almost mocking in its disquieting silence. Dr. Susan's late show would be coming on soon. She knew because she listened to it sometimes. The tragic, romantic stories – the ones that weren't her story, were good entertainment. Not hers though. His? Theirs? No. Not theirs. There was no theirs, there was no them. She could do this.

She kept telling herself she could do it. Every time she passed from one room to the other, trying to get through her mundane non-chores, getting closer and closer to the radio, she told herself she could do it. She was Kate Beckett. Strong-willed Kate. Stubborn Kate. She could sit with her glass of fresh orange juice, right next to the radio and not turn it on. She was the boss her. She was in control.

She sipped at her cup and stared at the wall. The wall had a nice little painting on it. She admired the little details in the painting. It was a good painting that her father had had for years. Next to the painting was a little hanging potted plant. Next to the potted plant was the clock. It wasn't a particularly special looking clock, but it suited the general décor well. The clock read ten seconds after ten.

Kate rolled her eyes and turned on the radio.

"Welcome to the late show with Dr. Susan. I'm Dr. Susan, and today we're continuing our talk with Rick, our very own Sleepless in Manhattan. Hi, Rick."

"Hi," Castle replied.

How could one syllable have the power to make her soft? To make her feel so many things all at once. Strangely though, Kate didn't feel overwhelmed. It felt natural to hear his voice and feel him with her. It felt right. If she didn't know any better, she'd think he had spoken directly to her. If she closed her eyes, it wasn't difficult to imagine him. His floppy bangs coming to rest on his forehead. So many times in the past she had suppressed the urge to gently push them back, to feel their softness glide through her fingers. She imagined that he would look at her with a gentle smile on his face and a gleam in his eyes that radiated understanding, and awe. The raw intimacy of shared secrets. His lips would twitch, first on one side and then on the other, growing into something he couldn't quite suppress. Not that he was one to suppress his feelings. No, that was her. Here he was, letting them all out. Kate couldn't help but feel a little envious.

"You were telling us your story. It began with the girl," Dr. Susan reminded him while simultaneously bringing the audience up to speed.

Castle let out a low chuckle. "Yeah. It began with the girl. We met at work, though we work at separate places."

"What does that mean?"

"She met me at my job while doing her job."

"And was it love at first sight."

"It's hard to say in retrospect that it wasn't. I don't know. There were a million different things over a million different moments that made me fall in love with her. I don't know when it first happened. But I was definitely taken in by her the moment I saw her. She was…different."

"Different than she is now?"

"Huh. Yes. But that's not what I meant. She was different that anyone I had known before."

"So you met at work?"

It was fairly easy to recognize that Dr. Susan was coaxing the story out of him today. He didn't seem to mind. In fact, it was probably a good idea. If he were allowed to talk about Kate uninhibited, it would probably last a while.

"Yeah. Our paths crossed because of work, and I was intrigued. I was drawn in. I was already in love with the idea of her." He paused. "And she hated me."

Kate couldn't help but smile. It was kind of true. And kind of not. She forgot sometimes how completely unaware he was about the nature and extent of the impact he had on her. Before he had even met her, he played a starring role in her life. Richard Castle's books helped her through the most difficult period of her impromptu and premature transformation for fun-loving girl to heart-broken woman. He gave her strength. He gives her strength.

"I just wanted to know more about her. At first, she was just a mystery I wanted to solve. I don't like unsolved mysteries. It drives me nuts."

"You're saying she drove you nuts?"

"Heck, no," Castle said, sounding amused and completely proud of himself. "I drove her nuts. It was awesome."

Kate huffed out a laugh.

"Lovely. I take it you pushed her buttons?"

She rolled her eyes. If ever there was an understatement to be made.

"Hah! Yes. I toed the line several times. But I crossed it a few times too. She was kind enough to forgive me. I'd like to think that I eventually grew on her."

Like a fungus.

"Like a fungus."

Apparently distance didn't stand a chance of interfering with their mental synchronicity. If only Castle knew, he'd call it fate. Kate had at least resigned to accept that it was a deep-rooted connection.

Connection. Conjecture.

She involuntarily smiled.

Castle continued after a sigh that seemed to at once convey longing and contentment. "See, I pulled her pig tails so often, that she eventually got used to it. And you could see the change in her. You could feel it."

"I thought you liked her as she was. Why change her?"

"Ah, don't get me wrong. The change wasn't in her personality. The change was that she stopped holding back parts of her personality. She started letting loose a little. She laughed more, and teased me often. If being the butt of all jokes brings out the coy little smile she smiles just for me? – well, then I will gladly be the ass."

"I don't know if that's sweet or weird," said Dr. Susan.

Kate laughed. I'm a wise ass, not a jackass." Only Castle.

She always thought that his smug taunts and dopey behavior were the result of an inherently bumbling nature, but now she wondered how often it was intentional. She knew he could play the part. He had learned to do that because of his work. He had learned to do that because of his life. He thought she was guarded, but she knew he was too. She wondered how often and how far this man would go just to see her smile.

A/N: Thanks for the lovely feedback! Enjoy!

Thank you, Bot, for having my back.