A/N: This chapter gets very intense, but I feel it needed to be done and I only hope I've done the situation justice. Thank you so much for all the reviews, I try to reply to most of them when possible (I can't reply to guests though!) Trigger warning for self harm/suicide attempt/blood.

Chapter 11.

Belle stared at her ex-girlfriend, trying to be discreet as she pretended to rifle through her locker. She sighed; this was pathetic, she thought, and closed her locker approaching the brunette.

"Ruby?"

Ruby closed her eyes a moment, recognising the other girl's soft voice, she closed and locked her locker, turning to face Belle, "Belle," she replied, "What is it?"

Belle flinched upon seeing the bruising around Ruby's eye and the split in her lip, "Are you okay?" she asked concernedly, resisting the urge to raise her hand to the other girl's injured face.

Ruby rolled her eyes, "I'm fine."

Belle nodded, "Okay. Look, Ruby," she hesitated, "You can hate me, you're totally justified in that, but please…don't take it out on Emma. She had nothing to do with this, she didn't know how I felt about her so she certainly didn't encourage it or anything… I just…I get that you're mad, but please just take it out on me."

Ruby ran her tongue over her teeth, "Right. So…tell me, Belle, did you give her a lecture about bashing me?"

Belle frowned, "You said some pretty horrible things to her – "

Ruby laughed, "Right, so that justifies her almost killing me? Belle, I don't get how you're so fucking smart but so blind when it comes to her. She was strangling me, and you're giving me the lecture? Open your eyes. She's dangerous."

Belle's frown deepened, "You're right," she whispered, "I'm sorry," she shook her head, "But she's not dangerous, she would never – "

"Never what? Never hurt anyone? Cause my face would disagree with you there. She's hit me more than once and the other day, I thought she might kill me. She gets this look in her eye like… I mean, what the hell is your definition of dangerous if not that? Belle… I worry about you hanging around with her," she finished quietly.

Belle shook her head, "She would never hurt me, Ruby," she insisted, "I don't know, maybe she is dangerous to other people…," she admitted reluctantly, "But that's not who she is. Not really. You know that, you were friends with her."

Ruby shrugged, "I don't know, Belle. Just…be careful."

The bell rung and Belle nodded, giving up and letting Ruby walk away. Ruby swung her bag over her shoulder, turning the corner and running into Emma, who was looking upset; having clearly heard everything.

"Eavesdropping?" Ruby asked defensively.

Emma shrugged, "Ruby… I'm sorry, okay? You're totally right, I'm dangerous," she said softly, "But, I would never, ever hurt Belle. You can't really think that?"

Ruby looked away for a moment, "I have no idea anymore. Whenever I think you're getting better, you do something that makes me doubt that. It's like you have no control sometimes and that does scare me. Is that so wrong?"

Emma shook her head, "No, it's not wrong," she said, refusing to let tears make their way past her throat, "I really am sorry I hurt you, I know I went too far. I never meant to…"

Ruby wasn't oblivious, she could see the pain in her friends eyes and she wasn't so cruel she could just steamroll her feelings, she sighed, "I know you didn't, Emma, but you gotta sort yourself out. I mean, this is school, you get suspended for a week, but we're just about done with school… You're gonna get yourself locked up if you don't learn to control yourself."

Emma nodded, lost in thought, "You're right. I should go," she turned away before glancing back, "I'm sorry about everything, Ruby. I really am."

"Take a seat, Miss Swan," Mr Gold gestured to the seat opposite his desk.

Emma sat, "Okay," she said apprehensively.

"Back from your suspension, I see," he noted.

"Uh-huh," Emma confirmed, her anxiety growing.

"You realise you missed a test in Ms Nova's test this week?" Mr Gold asked.

Emma frowned, "No, how would I know that if I wasn't allowed to come to school? Can't I just resit it?"

The co-ordinator frowned, "You can, I suppose, but your teacher, Ms Nova, has recommended you to repeat her subject in summer school."

Emma blinked as her brain comprehended the information, "No," she said slowly, "I can pass. Let me do the test, I'm not doing summer school."

Mr Gold sighed, "It's not only Ms Nova who has recommended this, Miss Swan. Miss Blanchard says you're on the border of failing her class also."

Emma swore, earning herself a glare from the older man, "I can past English, no worries, I swear. I'll do extra credit work, please. I can't do summer school, I need to graduate."

Mr Gold shook his head, "You got yourself into this situation, Miss Swan, it shouldn't come as a surprise. You're perfectly capable of doing the work, you just don't do it."

"It's not exactly that simple," Emma muttered.

"Well, unless you can convince Ms Nova and Miss Blanchard to pass you in their classes, you will attend summer school, or failing that, repeat the entire year."

Emma clenched her jaw, "I'm not repeating the year."

Mr Gold waved a dismissive hand, "That is all, Miss Swan, speak to your teachers, though it would have helped if you had built stronger relationships with your teachers so they would be more willing to help you at times like these."

Emma rolled her eyes, "Right," she muttered, "Thanks for the good news," she stood up and left the room.

Emma trudged to her English class, lost in thought. She was going to fail out, she knew it. Ms Nova might be willing to help her out, but Miss Blanchard? Ugh, Emma thought, she'd probably relish the fact of writing incompetent on her end of year report.

This was such a fucking waste, she thought, and swung her bag off her shoulder, slamming her books into it and zipping it up as she turned and stormed out of the building.

There was no use going to a class she'd already failed with a bitch of a teacher who hated her. This is fucked, she thought, Belle was off to better things at Columbia. Hell, the rest of her whole year had their future's planned, university's, job's, community colleges. And what the hell was she doing? Trying to get the right medication mix after six years so she could function like a normal human being.

Pshh, she snorted to herself as she walked the street, normal? She'd never be normal. She'd never be anything. She couldn't even pass high school, how was she going to survive in the real world? Ruby was right, if she pulled half the shit she pulled at school in the real world, she would be locked up.

Hell, maybe that was what was best for her, she thought glumly, and best for those around her. Nobody should have to deal with her bullshit, she was just trouble. It was true. She'd been institutionalised before and she'd hated every second of it. She'd never felt more alone than when she'd been in that place, it had been completely dehumanising.

She unlocked the front door hurriedly, throwing her bag onto the ground roughly. She was worked up and she knew it, she needed to get out of this headspace she was in but it was toxic and it was easier to just stay there. She lay back on the couch and let the negativity wash over her.

Regina frowned as she hung up; she was meant to be meeting Emma after her detention to give her a lift home, but the teenager wasn't answering her phone. She decided to walk past the detention room to see if she was still there, even though she should have been finished ten minutes ago. She tidied up and packed her marking into her bag along with her laptop.

She hoped Emma's first day back after her suspension had gone okay. She knew the teenager was beating herself up about what had happened between her and Ruby, and it did worry Regina that Belle now seemed to be her only friend at school. Their relationship was complicated enough as it was, and now it was back to just being the two of them.

Regina's eyebrows creased together as she saw Miss Blanchard alone in the detention room, she knocked lightly as she entered.

Miss Blanchard looked up, "Regina, what can I do for you?"

"Was Emma Swan in detention this afternoon?" Regina asked.

Miss Blanchard shook her head, sighing, "No, she wasn't. Nor was she in my class fifth period, she really is making it more difficult for herself…"

Regina frowned, "Oh," now she was worried.

"I understand you are trying to help her," Miss Blanchard claimed, "And so I will tell you… she is very close to failing my class, and I believe it's not the only class. I thought Mr Gold was talking to her today, but surely she wouldn't have skipped my class had he told her how close she is to failing out?"

Regina chewed her lip, "Is it possible for her to pass your class? With extra work, or resits, anything?"

Miss Blanchard frowned, "It may be possible but she will have to do quite a bit of extra credit work and even then it will not guarantee her a passing grade. She needs to do well, not just glide through the way she seems to at the moment."

Regina nodded, "I will talk to her," she assured the younger brunette, "I know she wants to graduate, she just needs… she needs people to believe that she can," she finished quietly.

Miss Blanchard's expression softened, "I understand she has had more obstacles than most, Regina, but you know we can't pass students who don't show competency. I know she is more than competent, but she does need to display it."

"I know, I understand. Thank you, Mary Margaret," she turned on heel and walked out the door, bringing out her phone, dialling the teenagers number once again.

Emma held the razor to her skin, her eyes unfocused. Her mind felt numb, yet busy at the same time. There was a tiny voice in the back of her head, telling her to get out of the house, to call Regina or Belle. But the static drowned out that sensible thought. She just felt so…hopeless.

There was nothing she could do to get out of her current predicament; she would fail school, her best friend would move away, Regina would probably realise how pathetic she was and kick her out and then she'd be alone again. What was the fucking point?

She had no control over her life, this illness was…everything. It painted everything. She couldn't even control her own stupid mouth and tell that psych woman what was going on. And who knew if it would even help anyway? It would just hurt to talk about, but it hurt to keep inside too. All of a sudden, nothing made sense and she was overcome with absolute despair.

So, Emma let the razor touch her skin, gently at first until she angled it and pulled it up her wrist, flinching only slightly as it pierced the skin. For some reason she couldn't even identify, the sight of the blood made breathing a little easier. She made several more cuts to the skin until the seeping blood was no longer satisfying.

She clenched her teeth and angled her weapon further, gasping as the pain deepened and the blood spilled out. Emma could feel the tears crowding her vision as she made another incision, ignoring her instincts screaming at her to stop, to treat the bleeding but in some kind of sick desperation, she only angled the razor further until she couldn't stand the pain anymore, dropping the instrument by her side and propping her back against the wall, dropping her head onto her knee's.

Was it the tears or the dizziness that made her vision blurry? She wasn't sure until she felt her eyes roll upwards.