I don't own NCIS Los Angeles! My native language is Dutch and I'm dyslectic so sorry for any mistakes. Thank you for the reviews, alerts and favorites!

Guys, sorry for the short chapter but I hope you can still enjoy it!

Chapter 19

Even with over a hundred channels, Narah couldn't find one she liked so she turned off the TV and she just let herself fall on the bed, staring at the ceiling. To let her thoughts go freely. And as they went freely, they went to places they hadn't gone in a long time. They wandered to William, the brave firefighter. She wished she could remember more about him. She barely knew whether his eyes were blue or grey. She had just one thing left from him. William Monero, her dad. If he could only be here right now. He would pick her up and give her the hug that would make her feel so safe. Because that was how William Monero, the brave firefighter, was. But remembering her father, she also had to remember the other side. As she closed her eyes, she was brought back eight years in the time. In their dark and messy apartment. Her father was sleeping on the couch, the needle still in his arm. She had tried to wake him up, but this time he would stay asleep.

Narah's eyes flew open, wanting to escape the horrible memory. The pained look on her father's face as he lay there on the couch. But that was how he became: caring more about his drugs than his family. Narah grabbed her book out of her backpack. Lord of the Rings. Read countless times. She brought it close to her nose and took in the smell of the book. She loved that it smelled a little like smoke. It was how her father, the brave firefighter, used to smell as he pulled her into a hug before she went to sleep. She opened the book on the first page to see the so familiar hand writing.

Stay strong my beautiful little girl.

Never forget that I will be forever close to you,

for you are my happiness

Love and a thousand kisses,

Daddy

She gently went over the page and the writing, as if it was actually her father in those pages. Then she closed the book in a rush and threw it away from her. Why was she suddenly longing for her dead father? She knew better. He was forever gone. Narah swallowed away the tears that were rising up and grabbed her phone. Typing in the number blindly she waited till the other side picked up. She walked to the balcony to stand in the evening breeze as she heard the safe voice on the other side. She let herself slide down.

'Tell me a story,' she whispered to him like she had done countless time before. As he started to tell, he felt so incredibly close and Narah felt incredibly small. Tears were flowing freely over her face.

'Why are you here?' Alice asked Kensi, as she glanced at her, her eyes resting on her badge. 'Did something happen?' Kensi shook her head and had to think about what to say. She had it all in her head when she was on her way here, but now she was standing in front of the woman, she had no more words.

'Why are you here?' Alice asked more urging.

'I'm here because of Narah...your daughter.' Alice's color disappeared from her face and she looked in shock. She glanced past Kensi to the street.

'What is with Narah?' she asked. 'I haven't seen Narah in a long time...I wouldn't know...'

'I am here on her behalf.'

'Then I am sorry, officer. I cannot help you...' Alice clearly wanted to leave the subject alone and she was ready the close the door but Kensi stepped into the door opening. Now that she was here, she wasn't giving up just like that. She wasn't giving up that easily. Not for Narah.

'She is looking for answers,' she told the woman who was Narah's mother. 'She is looking for you!' Alice shifted uncomfortably and shook her head saddened.

'I do not want to see her,' she replied. 'I didn't go without a reason. And now I want you to leave.' She gestured to close the door again but Kensi stood put.

'I am not going before I know why,' she said. 'Narah is desperate to find you for some reason. She wants to see you...speak to you. I don't want to disappoint her!' Alice shrugged with a bitter smile.

'Then you're lucky: I will be the one to disappoint her.'

'Why would you not want to see your own daughter? It has been seven years. She became a beautiful girl...'

'That is what I fear; that I won't be able to see that beauty in her. All I will see in her is death. I cannot be the mother you want me to be! I do not want to see her!' Kensi swallowed down the anger that was rising in her. Alice pushed Kensi some more towards the door. 'I want you to go before...'

'Hey, Honey,' a man greeted smiling and he stepped past Kensi to kiss Alice on her cheek. 'Who is your friend?' Kensi's eyes were on the little boy in the man's arms, drooling all over the man's shoulder.

'Umm, this is just a friend and she was just leaving,' Alice answered the man with a faint smile. She guided Kensi into the garden. When they were out of hearing reach - and Alice checked several times - she faced Kensi. 'You see; Narah can't be my daughter. Even if he knew all about her and that life...I do not want her as my daughter!' Kensi shook her head angrily and handed Alice a note.

'You better show up there,' Kensi warned her. 'Or Narah will show up here. She is so close to finding you. So if you want to keep her a secret...'

'Hey,' Deeks greeted smiling as Kensi came back to the hospital with coffee for everyone. 'Where were you?' Kensi shrugged at him and handed him a coffee.

'Nowhere really,' she lied to him, not ready to tell him. 'I just needed to walk for awhile...get some coffee since it will probably a long night for us.' Deeks nodded and he glanced at the room where the driver was staying.

'He is still lying in his bed, whining about his pain,' he told her. 'Even though he is heavily dosed with morphine. So obviously he is faking just to get away from our questions because the doctor doesn't let us inside until he feels better.' Kensi sighed and took a sip from her coffee.

'What about Cooper?' she asked.

'Cooper is okay,' Deeks answered. 'Already complaining about having to stay inside and he really wants to see his girlfriend...which I can understand.' He looked up at her and Kensi smiled weakly at him. He extended his hand and when she grabbed it, he guided her next to him. As she rested her head on his shoulder, they both sighed.

'You two should get home,' Callen told them as he walked in on them sitting there, probably looking as exhausted as they felt. 'And there is no point arguing right now. Cooper has to stay here for a couple more nights and so will his parents. Sam and I can take over for now. Go home, get some sleep and come back fresh tomorrow.' Kensi didn't even have the power to argue. All she was thinking about was whether to call her mother and announce their arrival or not.

The pain his neck seemed to have gotten worse as Deeks arrived at his apartment and was greeted by Monty. On automatic pilot he patted the dog and gave it food. For himself he warmed up some of the leftover, which he enjoyed on the couch with Monty by his side. Kensi hadn't said much after she left just to go walk, which frankly he knew was a lie. She had silently let him drive her to her home and had gone inside without saying a word. He wondered where she had gone to, and why she wouldn't tell him.

It was like they were slowly going away from each other. Not understanding each other anymore. Not sharing the same thoughts on subjects. It was just not like it was before. Everything about their relationship had turned so serious in so little time. Of course that is what raising a troubled teenager does with your relationship...with your life. But it might go too quickly for Deeks. He felt like he had to take a step back. Let it stay as it was right now. He didn't share Kensi's need to adopt Narah and he worried if she wanted to adopt the girl for the right reasons.

And Narah worried him as well. He never felt her pulling away so strongly, but the last couple of days, it was so strong. Even when she had them, she went looking for her mother. A mother she didn't want to speak about or ever wanted to see again. It made him wonder if he and Kensi had done it all wrong. If they were good enough for her. Everyone told them they were a great thing to happen for Narah. But were they truly, if Narah seemed so desperate to get away from them?

TBC.

Again sorry for the short chapter! And happy Halloween to all my readers! Have fun if you celebrate it ^^