8
The Shadow Files 3 – Robin's Secret, Catarena's Confession
It was a normal Thursday night just like any other… Tim and Catarena were coming home from a quick movie date they had taken after school, they didn't get many chances for dates these days but it was expected with their line of "work".
Tim and Catarena were returning to Tim's house to study, but when they walked in the door the mood in the room had a strange feel to it. Tim's father greeted them but his attitude seemed strange to Catarena. Tim didn't seem to notice and they went to Tim's bedroom. But when the door opened Tim stopped in the doorway staring into the room in shock. Catarena looked into the room and she couldn't believe her eyes. There, on Tim's bed for the entire world to see was his Robin costume, and it was then that Catarena understood his father's mood. Catarena looked at Tim; he was staring at his costume. He seemed angry and Catarena gently touched his shoulder in concern, but Tim pulled away from her.
"You should go…" Tim said softly.
Cat felt hurt by his tone of voice, but she understood and they walked back to the living room where Tim's father was. He did not look happy as he looked at his son. Cat didn't know what to do or how to act. She glanced at Tim before walking to the door but Tim wouldn't look at her. His head was bowed; he was facing his father who was sitting on the couch. Tim was anticipating the verbal lashing that was boiling in his father's gaze. Cat wished she could help but she knew she couldn't and left.
Once out side Catarena quickly perched herself under the window to the living room of the Drake home. She knew it wasn't her place to eavesdrop, but she felt compelled to listen. Cat felt terrible as she listened to Mr. Drake rant and rave while Tim stood and took it. He agreed to every demand his father made; including a promise to never be Robin again, only after his father promised not to reveal Bruce's secret. At first Cat was crushed but she knew it was what Tim needed to do now for his father's sake. He was tormented by not telling him and constantly thought about it, now he didn't have to any more. Cat decided to return home to deliver the news to Batman…
When Cat entered the cave Batman immediately knew something was wrong. "What's wrong?" He asked.
Cat sighed, "Tim's father found his costume." She replied softly.
Batman nodded and Cat went up into the mansion to her room to be alone for a while.
The next morning Cat went to Tim's school to see how he was doing. She found him at his locker… Cat touched his arm to let him know she was there even though she knew he already knew she was.
"Tim, I'm so sorry." Cat told him softly.
Tim stopped putting his books into his backpack and stared into his dark locker.
"It's for the best… You should know… he calmed down after I told him I'd quit."
Cat felt ashamed that he had known she was listening. She had doubted his abilities…
"I…" Cat tried to say but Tim interrupted.
"I'm not telling him about… my other self."
"But it would be…"
"NO! Just leave me alone." Tim said as he shut his locker. Cat was shocked and felt as though her heart were breaking into splinters.
"I'm late for class." Tim said and walked away.
Cat remained in the hall minutes after he had gone. She was lost and didn't know what she should do. Finally Cat left the school to seek the comfort and guidance of an old friend.
Catarena drove straight to Bludhaven, where Dick Grayson now lived and fought crime with the Outsiders, while also assuming the job of a police officer. Catarena arrived, hoping to find him at home. Dick secretly owned the apartment building he lived in where he had converted the entire third floor to suit his special needs…
As Catarena stood before the door to Dick's apartment she debated about ringing the door bell. After a while she finally rang and waited for Dick to wake up and come to the door. She could hear him through the walls and waited patiently… Dick sleepily walked to the door. He usually took Friday off to rest before the weekend and he wondered who could be visiting him. When he saw Catarena through the peep hole he was shocked to see her and opened the door.
"Cat, what brings you here?" He asked.
Catarena felt bad for waking him.
"I'm sorry… if this is a bad time I could go…" Catarena told him.
It was then that Dick realized how upset she seemed.
"No it's not please come in." Dick said and he stepped back for Cat to come in.
She walked to the living room and stood there until Dick came over.
"What's wrong?" He asked in concern of Cat's silence.
"I just needed a friend." Cat replied softly.
Dick placed his hand on her shoulder.
"What happened?" He asked.
Cat sighed uneasily, "Tim's father found out about Robin… He was a little more than angry, and Tim quit." Cat told him and he nodded.
"I see. Well it was bound to happen, you know that. Did he found out about…"
"No, Tim doesn't want to tell him." She told him and Dick seemed stumped.
"Okay, so you've got room to breathe. Believe me the situation could be worse… Don't tell me you're upset about Tim not being Robin. Surely you can see the situation he's in. You'll get to see him… You're still a student at his school right?" Dick asked and Cat couldn't hide her emotions any more.
Cat started sobbing and Dick was surprised. He touched her arm gently.
"He… told me to leave him alone… He wouldn't even look at me." Cat said as she cried. Dick pulled her into a hug, holding her close to him.
"It's alright. Don't cry… I understand how it must seem, but he needs time to clear his head. He must feel the need to handle this on his own. He'll come around you'll see. But in the mean time what do you want to do?" Dick asked.
Cat was confused and looked up at him.
"Do you think his father should know?"
Cat thought for a moment and then nodded.
"Then you should tell him. It would be easier coming from you. Tell him everything. Level with him, you are after all… an adult." Dick told her and she nodded.
Sometimes she was able to forget about her age. Dick held her a while longer, secretly wishing he had never let her go… Soon Cat decided to go and she thanked Dick for his comfort.
Cat returned home to think about what Dick had told her. She couldn't even begin to think of where she'd start about telling Tim's father their secret or if she should defy Tim's wishes at all. Cat didn't want to betray him, but ever since Tim discovered Bruce's secret, about her being his daughter, she too was sick of all the secrets.
A week went by and Cat was going stir crazy. She had yet to hear from Tim and the longer it took the more she wanted to tell his father the truth. And Catarena decided to do just that… That Friday just after Tim had left for school Cat went to his house. Mr. Drake answered; he was surprised to see her.
"Catarena, shouldn't you be at school by now?" He asked and Cat gave a heavy sigh. "Mr. Drake, there's something I need to tell you…" Cat told him.
He was confused, but let Cat in. For a moment Cat lost her words, but Tim's dad opened up the conversation for her.
"So what's on your mind?" He asked as he motioned for her to sit on the couch across from the chair he chose to sit in.
"There was… more than one secret Tim kept from you." Cat told him and she was worried; he did not seem surprised, though his mood had changed.
"Go on." He replied but Cat was reluctant, there was no turning back now. She was 27 but sitting before this man, trying to tell him a secret that had betrayed his trust in her, made her feel like a child that would be scolded… Cat found her courage and went on.
"I am who the criminals call Shadow…" She said and he nodded.
"I see…" He replied. There was silence for some time, though Mr. Drake seemed to know Catarena had more to say.
"There's more… if you want to hear it… It's a long story." She told him.
"I've got time." Mr. Drake replied and Catarena prepared herself to tell him her secrets…
"There was a Robin long before Tim… You may remember him…" Catarena began, Mr. Drake nodded and Catarena continued. "My father had taken him in after his parents were murdered… and soon he had discovered Bruce's secret, though I was still in the dark and continued to be so for a long time… When I turned 17 a mad scientist named Dr. Dorian kidnapped me…"
"Wait, when you turned 17? I thought…?" Mr. Drake asked in confusion but Catarena stopped him.
"I will explain, and hopefully you will understand… Dr. Dorian had been experimenting with cats… It was his obsession. He had been trying to create a formula that would instill great abilities in a human, and when he had completed this task he chose me… Unfortunately he didn't want Bruce Wayne's money… It was because of my name… Batman and Robin were unable to locate him in time and soon I was transformed into a creature that was both human and cat. When Batman and Robin arrived they detained the doctor, but discovered that there was no antidote. I was lost and confused in my own mind, struggling with this new side to my self even that night. I ran… Roaming the streets of Gotham for a month, afraid to go home out of fear of what I had become… I wanted to die out there… But Batman would not let me… The night he found me in that dead end alley would have been the last… He kneeled before me and said I could have a place with him… He took off his cowl and asked me to come home. At that moment I knew who he was without having to look… Once at home a whole new world had been opened up to me. My mind had finally found its peace… But I still wanted to stay in the dark… After many weeks of sulking, sleeping, and half starving myself we discovered, when weakened either from lack of food or sleep I would change back to normal. Even then Bruce had assumed the father role when needed. As Batman he took me to an ally, Superman, where with his alien technology they ran many tests… Discovering that my transformation was like a reflex or a muscle, that needed to be strengthened. They discovered many other abilities, but the important one was that I could return to my normal life. I finished high school and even attended college for two years, but something was always on my mind. I had the undying urge to use my abilities for something more than quick thrills… and soon I decided to go to Europe to train… not only my body but my mind as well. Each year I returned home for a brief time like any other college student… It wasn't until after the first year that I returned home to meet your son, who had already assumed the mantle of Robin… That was four years ago… I was surprised by his skills and how he had discovered Bruce's secret all on his own, and at such a young age. We became fast friends… I even trained him whenever I was home, teaching him anything I had learned that year… we had also kept in touch while I was away…" Catarena said and Mr. Drake, who had been listening intently suddenly jumped as if realizing something.
"The pen-pal from?" He asked and Catarena grinned.
"Yes, that was me… For those next three years I had been blind to Tim's growing feelings and would deny to myself my own… It wasn't until I returned home for good that something sparked between us and Tim finally reviled his feelings for me… At first I denied him, knowing it was wrong and that it wouldn't last forever… When Tim then showed me the secret he had kept from me for over a year… saying that we could be together… I was angry… and overjoyed at the same time. Tim had changed himself into what I was… He told me that he didn't care if I never loved him, he said that he had done it because he wanted to keep me company through eternity… I tried so hard to push him away… but when he demanded that I look him in the eye and order him to change himself back… I… I couldn't… I couldn't say it because…He was right… I didn't want to be alone… Tim had said everything that was in my heart without ever hearing a word from my mouth… I'm sorry… I'm so sorry… I didn't mean for him to fall in love with me…" Catarena told him while struggling with tears.
Mr. Drake pulled his chair closer to Catarena and placed his hand comfortingly on her shoulder.
"It's alright… I understand… Well, actually this all sounds crazy, but somehow I know it's not… I just don't understand how you could possibly be older than my son." Mr. Drake said and Catarena sighed.
"In one of the tests, it was discovered that my metabolism had been accelerated to an unbelievable rate…" Catarena said as she took out a small pocket knife. She opened it and placed the blade against the skin on her fore arm. Mr. Drake tried to stop her but she looked at him sternly and he watched her give herself a small cut that bleed, but almost as quickly as Cat had made the cut was it gone and Mr. Drake stared in amazement.
"My body heals quickly and correctly." Cat told him.
"That was… amazing." He said as he grabbed a tissue off the coffee table and whipped away the blood on Catarena's arm. "And because of this you age slower?" He asked. "Yes, Dr. Dorian had created eternal life by accident, believe it or not… The cells that die with old age are healed and replaced faster than the body reacts to the aging process." Cat replied.
"How eternal?" Mr. Drake asked.
"Immortal." She replied softly.
Mr. Drake was stunned as he did some math in his head.
"How old are you?" He asked.
"Twenty-seven." Catarena replied.
"And Tim has all of this too?"
"Yes." Cat replied.
"Can you show me… this other side of you?" Mr. Drake asked.
"If it will confirm your doubt." Catarena said and he nodded.
Cat closed her eyes, not wanting to see the expression on his face. When she transformed he jumped out of his chair at how sudden it had happened.
"I'm sorry; I didn't mean to startle you." Catarena said.
"It's alright. I guess I doubted… So this is it right... There's nothing else?" He asked.
"No, there is nothing else… I promise." Catarena said as she changed back.
"Good. Now I think I need to let this information set in…" He said and Cat followed him to the door. But he stopped Cat before she could leave.
"Will you come to dinner? Tim hasn't been himself lately." He asked.
At first Cat wanted to deny him the offer but she nodded, and Mr. Drake smiled.
"Good, come around seven." He said but it was Cat's turn to stop him.
"Tim will know I've been here." She said.
Mr. Drake nodded and Cat left.
Just as Catarena had said Tim knew she had been there the moment he had gotten home. Though, he didn't know for sure and his father's watchful gaze kept him from investigating. But when he sat where Catarena had sat that day he was aware of it all. Her scent, her tears, her blood… His father came into the living room still watching Tim intently.
"You know don't you?" He asked.
"Know what?" Tim replied.
"That Catarena was here… She told me everything…else." His father said.
Tim was surprised, he didn't want to have this talk with his father just yet.
"Why didn't you tell me?" He asked.
"Because, you would have blown your top." Tim replied.
"I don't think it would have been any worse than before… What's the real reason you didn't tell me?" He asked.
Tim was silent for a moment but sighed and answered.
"I didn't want you to take her from me." His dad was confused by his words.
"I know she's older than you but why would you think I'd do that?"
"Because there's still time…"
"To…?"
"Change me back…" Tim told him.
"I see…" His dad nodded as he contemplated what Tim had told him, but he made no notion that he would make a decision right there… Tim sat on the couch bathed in Catarena's scent while he waited for his fathers next words.
"Dinner is in the oven. It should be ready by seven. Dana and I are going out tonight." His father said.
Tim looked up in surprise, but his dad had already left the room. Tim was having trouble reading his father's mood and he prayed he wouldn't ask him to be normal again. Though Tim was finally realizing the consequences of his actions…
Just as told Catarena arrived around seven. Tim opened the door, surprised to see her.
"Cat… What are you doing here?" He asked.
Tim's tone still scorched at her heart and she averted her gaze from him as much as possible.
"Your dad invited me to dinner…" She replied softly as she nervously tucked her hair behind her ear.
Tim let her in and Cat followed him into the living room.
"Dad and Dana went out to dinner." Tim told her.
She knew his dad had tried to set up some alone time for them, but Catarena didn't think they were going to get the kind he had intended. Catarena stood in the living room staring at the spot she had sat that day. She could smell Tim's lingering scent from the location. She could also sense Tim's mixed feelings of aggravation.
"Why did you tell him?"
His sudden voice thumped in her ears, breaking the silence. Cat sighed, willing her unsteady voice to speak.
"I didn't want to lie to him any more." Cat replied softly.
After a moment of silence Tim spoke again.
"I should have been the one to tell him." Tim said sternly.
Catarena felt terrible for disobeying him.
"I know… I'm sorry… I… I thought I was doing the right thing."
Cat told him softly, but Tim did not answer. Tim's silence was making Cat uneasy and she felt like bolting. She wished Tim would just yell at her and be done with it, but he remained silent.
"I am sorry." Cat told him softly, "Maybe I should just go."
She said as she walked quickly to the door, but before she could open the door Tim held her fast by the arm. Cat was surprised; she hadn't even anticipated his moves.
"No. You were invited to dinner. It will be ready soon." Tim said and he let her go.
Cat walked back to the living room, while Tim went to the kitchen to set the table.
When the dinner was ready Tim called Cat and served them the casserole. The dinner was silent and Catarena poked at the food more than she ate it. Tim was finished before her; he cleared his plate and went to the living room. He sat on the couch and turned the television on. Catarena sat at the table for a few minutes before she cleared her plate. It was taking her every ounce of energy to keep from breaking down. Cat walked into the living room, Tim was staring at the TV. Cat felt like he was trying to pretend she wasn't even there, but she couldn't bring herself to leave.
"Tim?" Catarena asked, but Tim didn't make a sound nor did he look up, "Would you… just… yell at me or something?" She asked softly, but still there was no response from Tim.
Catarena stood beside the couch with her head bowed; her black hair veiled her face so that Tim couldn't see her tears. Though she was trying so hard not to cry she was trembling and soon she couldn't stand it any more. Cat started sobbing and Tim finally glanced at her. He felt terrible for making her cry and decided to tell her what was on his mind. Cat didn't notice Tim get off the couch and walked up to her. She was surprised when his fingers made her look up at him. He cupped her face in his hand and whipped some tears away.
"I'm not angry at you… I'm angry at myself." Tim told her, but she didn't get to reply, "This was the first time I realized, because of my foolishness I had deprived my father from seeing me grow up, and that one day I'll have to say goodbye forever. I know that's how things work but you know it's not the same… and if my dad asks me to, I will change my self back." Tim told her.
When his words registered Catarena started to cry again. Tim didn't want to break her heart but he felt this was the right thing for him to do for his dad's sake.
"I'll understand if you don't want to see me any more if he does." Tim said.
Cat wasn't listening, trying to convince her self it was a nightmare.
"But… you promised." Cat whispered.
Cat couldn't keep it together, she broke down again and Tim held her close. Cat was determined not to believe his dad would ask that of him.
Tim and Cat decided to spend their possible last night together in each others arms on Tim's bed. They were dreading the moment Tim's father and Dana would come home… and when they did Tim and Cat were well aware of it before they were even through the door. They decided to meet Tim's dad at the door, and they arrived in the living room just as his dad and Dana were walking in the door. Tim's dad seemed glad to see them.
"Oh good you're still here Catarena… I'd like to talk with the two of you." He told them and they went to the couch to wait for him.
Tim and Catarena sat on opposite ends of the couch, while Tim's dad stood before them. They were awaiting his decision of Tim's other half.
"It was unfair for you to make such a life altering decision without consulting those it would most affect Timothy." He told Tim sternly.
Tim gave a heavy sigh.
"I know… and I know apologizing a million times will do nothing, but I couldn't ignore my heart. It loves Catarena more than anything I have known. But… if you ask me… I'll change my self back." Tim told his dad.
Catarena was touched by Tim's heartfelt speech but it could not help her slowly breaking heart. For she feared that his dad loved his son more than anything… The two lovers waited in anxious silence for his response, which was like an eternity in it's self. But finally he spoke.
"I'm sorry… I just…"
Was all he said to them, but they knew what the answer was. He was asking Tim to change him self back… Tim calmly and silently got up and went to his room, shutting the door behind him. Catarena was crushed beyond hope and stared at the floor, on auto she stood and walked to the door, pausing before she left because Tim's dad called to her.
"Will you ask your dad for the antidote?" He asked.
Without a word Cat nodded and then left. She was so stunned she walked all the way home, which took her well into the night to finish. Once home she went down to the cave, knowing Alfred was asleep. The cave was dark and cold, but she got lucky in arriving when Bruce was returning home from patrolling. He was surprised to see her, and quickly got out of the Batmobile.
"Cat?" He asked as he approached her.
Cat could barely hear him. She couldn't breathe or focus on anything but the shock she was feeling. The pain was so unreal she could stand no longer and as her eyes rolled back she fainted. Bruce was close to her at this point and caught her.
"Catarena!"
He exclaimed, but then calmed when he realized she'd passed out. He waited till her heart rate slowed to give her smelling salts. She awoke at once from the strong scent and started trembling from her chilling walk home.
"He… he…" Cat stammered.
Bruce didn't need her to say what had happened for he already knew with out hearing it. He held her close, letting her know she didn't need to tell him. She shivered in his arms, to cold to cry, and too distraught to think of much. Bruce lifted her into his arms and carried her up to the manor to put her to bed.