9
The Shadow Files 3.5 – Incomplete Without You
The next morning Catarena dressed and went to Tim's school, where she was still a student for the time being. She'd gotten all the way there when she remembered what had happened, for she would no longer need to go to Tim's school. She stood by her locker, staring into nothingness. The bell rang and the hall cleared but still she stood. Just then Tim came into the hall she was in, he'd gotten there late. When he saw her he went up to her.
"Cat, what are you doing here?" He asked.
She didn't have an answer to his question but she had something else to say.
"I'm sorry… If I had just kept my mouth shut and listened to you… this wouldn't have happened." Cat said as she started to cry.
Tim lifted her chin so she'd look at him.
"Hey, this wasn't your fault. You did the right thing… Come on."
Tim said as he took her by the wrist, leading her out of the building.
"Where are we going?" Cat asked.
"We're ditching school and spending the entire day together."
Tim said as they exited the school. He was still leading her by the arm. Catarena was being sluggish as she let him pull her along to his car. He opened her door and she got in, Tim then got in the driver's seat and they took off for the city.
Tim drove to the park, which was by the Wayne Botanical garden, figuring it was a good place to start their day. Tim took Cat by the hand and led her deep into the park. He knew she was being submissive and he didn't blame her but if this were to be their last day together he wanted to spend it like they had forever. Once at the center of the park by the fountain Tim let Cat go and she walked to the fountain. As she looked over the edge at her reflection she wished she could drown in the three feet of water. After a moment she saw something in her reflection she didn't like and smacked the water, disturbing the surface. She walked away from the fountain a bit and Tim walked up to her.
"There's still a chance it won't work right?" Tim asked.
"I don't know."
Cat replied as she clutched the necklace he had made for her, so that they'd never be apart. Tim gently touched her arm.
"Then I won't give up." He said.
Cat had to fight off her tears. He then turned her around with one push and embraced her.
"If this is our last day together I want to spend it with you like nothing else matters or exists." Tim said.
Tim then lifted her chin and kissed her deeply. Cat couldn't help but melt by his kiss, even though every second was crushing her heart. She no longer had any hope for anything and felt like a mindless doll. Deep in her subconscious her mind was tormented and vowing if she couldn't live with Tim she wouldn't live at all. She wouldn't kill herself, but the pain that continued to build as they spent the day together was enough to kill an immortal.
As dusk fell Tim and Cat went back to Tim's house, where they could spend the rest of the evening in his room dreading every second that passed…
Catarena was standing by Tim's window staring out at Gotham's skyline as it glittered in the distance like an island of stars. Tim sat on his bed watching her. He could tell she was thinking very hard about something.
"Are you afraid you'll turn into a monster?" Tim asked.
Catarena shook her head as she turned away from him to hide her frown.
"No. I wont this time." Cat replied sadly.
Tim would have been happy by her words but the emotion in her voice told him otherwise.
"But you are afraid of something. What is it?" He asked.
"No, it's nothing." Cat told him.
"Please tell me."
"No, I don't want you to feel guilty for obeying your father's wishes. I'll be fine." Cat lied.
"Then say that to my face." Tim said.
Cat paused for a moment but then turned.
"I'll be fine." She said again in a more convincing tone, "It's getting late… I should go." Cat said softly.
Tim walked up to her, he was going to touch her but he stopped. They couldn't be close any longer, they couldn't prolong the inevitable.
"Goodnight Catarena." Tim said.
"Goodnight." Cat replied as she went to the window, she couldn't bear leaving like a normal person.
"I'm sorry." Tim said before she left and she looked at him, "I'm sorry for not keeping my promise." He said.
Cat choked back some tears and managed to give him a nod with a small grin. Catarena then exited through the window making her way back home. When she was gone Tim sat on the edge of his bed and cried. The more he let him self think about it, the angrier he became at his father for being so selfish. Tim lay awake that night worrying about Catarena. He knew she was not all right.
Catarena returned to her room and dressed in a lavender nightgown for bed. The heaviness on her heart was getting worse. The more time that passed the more she realized she soon would be alone for eternity once again. There would be no one else like Tim, and she wouldn't let there be anyone else. The feeling was unbearable, like a whole part of her self was missing. As she stood on her balcony gazing at the stars the emptiness of space caused the heaviness in her heart to make her collapse. She sat there confused as to what was happening to her. Her whole body felt sick and weak, as if it was rejecting life. Catarena thought about calling for help as she made it to her bed but she had an idea of what was happening. She was afraid she was dieing of a broken heart but something told her this was different. And if she were to die she'd accept it and wait for Tim in the afterlife. Fatigue washed over Cat as she lay on her bed staring at the moon and stars from the balcony windows. The heaviness settled on her and a few tears escaped her eyes as they finally closed. Her breath became steady as the deepest sleep she ever had fell over her.
The next morning Alfred noticed Catarena was still in bed, thinking it odd of her he went in to check on her. When he saw her he knew something wasn't right, but tried to wake her any way.
"Miss Cat? Wake up." He said as he gently touched her arm, but Cat didn't wake.
Normally Cat would awaken when called no matter how much she needed one of her long rests.
"Oh dear…" Alfred said in worry.
He then left the room to fetch Bruce.
"Master Bruce, you must come immediately. It's Catarena." Alfred said over the intercom system of the house.
In the cave Bruce dropped what he was doing and ran up stairs, meeting Alfred in Cat's room. When he saw her he went to her just to confirm she was alive to ease his own heart. He could hear her steadily beating heart as he pressed his ear against her chest. Her pulse and breathing was just as steady.
"Did you try waking her?" Bruce asked.
"Yes, but it wouldn't hurt to try again." Alfred said.
Bruce leaned over Cat and shook her gently.
"Cat… Catarena wake up." He said but still there was no change, but Bruce had one more idea, "Shadow, wake up." Bruce demanded in his Batman tone but it was no use.
Bruce frowned and caressed her head; he had an idea of what was happening to her. He then lifted one of her eye lids and saw that her eyes were vacant, as if her very soul had escaped from her body. Bruce moved her to a comfortable position and then got up.
"Call Dick, I need to contact Superman." Bruce said.
"But sir, Master Tim and his father will be here soon." Alfred said.
"I know." Bruce responded and then left.
When Tim and his dad arrived at Bruce's mansion Bruce and Alfred answered the door. Dick was already upstairs with Catarena. Tim could sense the distress in the air; he couldn't help but ask about Cat.
"Where's Catarena?" Tim asked.
Bruce thought about lying to Tim but it was his only hope to see his daughter awake again in his life time, it might even be his only hope to save her life.
"She's asleep." Bruce said.
Tim knew immediately what he meant by how he had phrased it.
"What…" Tim said in disbelief and he ran past them, making his way to Cat's room.
Tim's father became angry and followed his son. Bruce and Alfred followed as well.
When Tim reached Cat's room he stopped in the doorway and stared in horror. Tim went to the bed and leaned over Cat trying to wake her up.
"Cat wake up… Catarena… please wake up." He begged as he choked back tears.
His dad then entered the room in a rather sore mood.
"I don't see the emergency here Timothy. So she's asleep like those other times she told me about. We came here to take care of something." His dad said irritably.
Tim was getting angrier by the second, and turned to his dad.
"No dad, this isn't like those other times she told you about! This is different! Those other times she'd wake up when we told her to! But she won't wake up! And it's my fault! All because I wanted to please you! I'm such a fool!" Tim said angrily and he then looked down at Cat, tears were falling like rain from his eyes.
"What have I done…?" Tim whispered.
Mr. Drake was surprised by his son's out burst.
"Timothy…" He started to say but Tim cut him off.
"GET OUT! Everyone GET OUT!" Tim demanded darkly.
Dick, who had been sitting on the other side of Cat's bed, quickly got up and started to usher Tim's father out of the room. The man objected but Dick was insistent and was able to get him out before Tim yelled at them again. From the hall the group could hear Tim crying and talking to the unawake able Cat. Bruce then ushered them down stairs. Mr. Drake was completely shocked at what was going on and Bruce thought it would be a good idea to explain a little more to him, hoping it would change his mind.
In Cat's room Tim sobbed as he leaned over holding her.
"I'm so sorry. I should have done something. I should have fought for you. I should have kept my promise. It's probably too late… but I'm keeping it now. I don't care what my dad does, I'm staying with you. Do you hear me?" Tim asked as he looked at her.
He caressed her head, as he gazed at her even more tears came to his eyes.
"How do I follow you? You didn't teach me how to follow you…"
Tim said sorrowfully as he started sobbing again. He held her with one arm as he sobbed into her neck.
"Come back… please come back." He whispered.
Back down stairs Bruce was trying to explain things to Tim's dad.
"What's so different about this time?" Mr. Drake asked.
"My daughter loves your son very much, and the thought of not being able to be with him made her very sick. Her body's way of reacting to this works differently now – Did you know it's possible to die of a broken heart? The mind can not fathom living without that person and the body rejects life. And since Catarena can no longer die from sickness her body fell into a coma like state. Where she will either, die a very slow and painful death, or sleep." Bruce told him.
"Would she ever wake up?" Mr. Drake asked.
"It's possible. But the chances of her waking up while any of us are still on this earth are slim." Bruce said.
He hated playing the guilt card but he knew the longer Cat slept the less likely she'd ever wake up again.
"Despite what you might think; Tim went behind everyone's back, even Catarena's, and changed him self. He hunted down the man who had changed her, took his research and did everything him self. He's very intelligent. He knew Catarena could not live an eternity alone. No human could live an eternity alone, watching loved ones grow old and die while they remain unchanged. To be brutally honest your son loves my daughter as much as she loves him. If you change him back, denying his love, it would send him to his death. What you saw a few minutes ago was only a sliver of his love for her. He may even have made up his mind to defy you and stay like her already. It's up to you to either forgive him and accept what he's done, or let him feel responsible for her death. Forgive me if I sound threatening or like I'm trying to guilt trip you but my daughter's life is in your hands." Bruce said with earnest.
Mr. Drake nodded nonchalantly, trying to take everything in, he sat quietly for several minutes sipping the tea Alfred had made for them. Before too long he stood and paused before he moved.
"I must speak to my son alone." He said and then went upstairs.
When his dad reached Catarena's doorway Tim sat up to look at him. Tim glared at his father and he held up his hands in surrender.
"I just want to talk." His dad said.
Tim turned to sit on the edge of the bed as his dad entered the room. Tim was prepared to defy his father but what his father had to say surprised him.
"You're not a fool Tim… I'm the fool. I was selfish and unwilling to try and accept what was going on. I was immature and I over reacted. Just saying this wont make up for what I've done but I am truly, deeply sorry. I realize I cannot hold on to you forever, and to take something away that is so precious to you would be a fate worse than death. You can stay like her and I will accept it… I have accepted it, and I'd like to know more about it. But not now. I'll leave you to tend to her… Maybe I'll ask Bruce… I pray you'll forgive me for what I've done." His dad said and then walked back out of the room.
Tim stared in awe for several minutes, unsure if he were dreaming or not, but he knew he wasn't and he was profoundly thankful for whatever Bruce had said to him. After a moment Tim turned to Cat and went to sit by her again. He smiled and caressed her cheek and ran his finger tips through some of her bangs.
"Did you hear that? He changed his mind. I'm right here… And I'll always be here."
Tim spoke softly as he then kissed her gently on the lips, half hoping she'd awaken like Sleeping Beauty. But to no surprise there was no change. Tim then felt the need to see his dad and he quickly made his way down stairs where everyone else was. Tim's dad turned around in time for Tim to embrace him warmly. Tim cried into his father's shoulder for a moment before he found his voice.
"Thank you… Thank you so much. I forgive you; of course I'd forgive you." Tim said tearfully.
His dad hugged him and patted his back. After a moment Tim stepped away from his dad and took a moment to compose him self.
"Is there anything we can do?" Tim asked Bruce.
"Superman is bringing Raven. She may be able to tell us something." Bruce said and Tim nodded.
"I'll be with Cat, it might help." Tim said and he went back upstairs.
Tim lay next to Cat, he was exhausted even though it hadn't been a particularly long day just yet. He prayed Raven would have some answers for them as he drifted off to sleep for a while.
Tim awoke the moment he heard someone coming, he noticed he hadn't been out long though it has seemed like hours; the feeling was starting to make it seem like along day after all. Luckily Raven and Superman walked into the room, Bruce was soon to follow them. Raven went to the other side of Cat's bed with out a word. She placed her left hand on Cat's forehead and closed her eyes for several minutes leaving the rest of the group in a silence that was deafening. Finally Raven opened her eyes and removed her hand as she looked up at them.
"She is in the deepest sleep I've ever seen. She's deeper than the REM state. She's dreaming in a part of her mind that I can't even get to. She's lost in this dream. It's up to her to realize this." Raven told them.
"What can we do?" Tim asked.
"Talk to her, be near her. Have everyone do this, the more the better. Since her senses are so heightened she might be able to sense people in her dream who aren't in the dream. It may help her to realize the truth."
Raven said as she sat her self on the bed next to Cat. The news she had to tell them seemed to ease the tension in the room. After Raven had her time with Cat it was Superman's turn. He ended up telling two stories involving Catarena. One was the story where they first met. Cat was only a little girl of five or so and Bruce had taken her with him on a business trip. On his way to the meeting a man tried to take Cat in a crowd, but Superman had stopped him. Superman admitted that the look on Bruce's face that day would have given away his secret fatherhood to her, had Superman been a better detective. Everyone laughed and Bruce did not enjoy being the center of amusement but looking back on the event made him smirk. The second story was about Cat learning to adapt to her abilities and how she had trouble with her strength and how she'd come to Metropolis to ask for his help. Superman went on to describe how she'd been afraid to touch anything, which brought on more laughter. After that it was decided that was enough for one day.
Bruce told Superman to tell the JLA members that Cat knew to visit at their leisure. It was also decided that Tim would sleep at the mansion and stay there until Cat woke up, and his dad would check up on him everyday.
Early the next morning The Flash and 'Jonn showed up to visit Cat. After they both took turns sitting by her 'Jonn offered to try his telepathy on her and Tim agreed to it, knowing it wouldn't hurt to try. The Flash stood by Tim, who watched anxiously as 'Jonn fell silent for several minutes. He wasn't able to stay long in Cat's dream and he wasn't able to contact her very well. He reported that the only thing he was able to get through to her was Oreos, which were his and her favorite cookie, and a poster of a generic green alien. He also reported that she'd seemed to get the clues but was interrupted and that was where 'Jonn lost his connection to the very deep dream world she was trapped in.
"Well that's better than nothing. Thank you very much." Tim said.
The Flash patted him on the back trying to get him to cheer up.
"I would gladly do it again but it's not wise to mess with someone's mind." 'Jonn said and Tim nodded.
Tim thanked them for coming and they left.
By late afternoon Tim was going stir crazy. He was exhausted but he didn't want to sleep incase Cat woke up; he also knew his body could last for weeks without sleep… it was hard to break a life long habit.
After a while Tim took to lying close to Cat again. He nuzzled the bridge of his nose under her chin and he then got close to her ear.
"Please wake up… I love you." Tim whispered sadly as he choked back more tears.
He was going to say more but the sound of someone clearing their throat from behind him caught his attention. Tim sat up quickly as they walked in. Tim dried his tears, but Beastboy and Kid Flash were already frowning.
"Hi guys, thanks for coming." Tim said.
"How is she?" Beastboy asked.
"No change." Tim replied.
"She looks like Snow White or Sleeping Beauty. Have you tried kissing her?" Kid Flash asked and Tim cracked a smile.
Bart always said something to lighten the mood.
"Yes, I tried that." Tim told him and they laughed a little.
Soon it was time for Beastboy and Kid Flash to leave. Tim was left alone with Cat again. He sat by her doing the homework his dad had brought over from his school, but soon he could no longer focus on that and laid next to Cat again. He wanted nothing more than to hold her in his arms but he was afraid to do so. Bruce had entered the room unnoticed by Tim and when he saw Tim he knew what Tim wanted to do.
"You can hold her you know. She won't break." Bruce said from the end of Catarena's bed.
Startled, Tim sat up quickly, his cheeks burning with embarrassment.
"Alfred made you some dinner. Tomorrow morning your father is coming for breakfast. You need to get out of this room for a while, and you need to eat. Superboy and Wondergirl might come by later. – She'll wake up. I know she'll wake up for you." Bruce said but Tim looked sad.
"Everyone keeps saying that, but I don't know how. I've hurt her so badly." Tim said.
"Try speaking to her animal side. She was afraid of becoming a monster before, she might still be. That if she wakes up she'll become a monster, she doesn't know what's been going on. Let her know it's ok if Shadow wakes up." Bruce said and Tim nodded.
Bruce then left him with his dinner, but Tim wasn't hungry. He wanted to give what Bruce had said a try. He lay next to Cat and hesitated to wrap his arm around her, but soon he did so. He transformed and looked at her. He growled a deep sort of purring in his throat calling out to her, telling her to wake up, telling her it was ok to wake up. Watching her sleep made him realize his fatigue. He moved closer to her ear.
"Shadow… it's okay. Wake up. Please wake up. Wake up Shadow… Please Catarena wake up." Tim pleaded sorrowfully as he cried once again.
He sobbed into the nape of her neck. After a moment he lifted his head and rested it on her shoulder as he held her closer to him.
"You've gotta wake up… I cant live with out you." He whispered before he drifted off to sleep.
Tim was so tired he didn't even wake up when Superboy and Wondergirl arrived.
"Shush! Let him sleep. He looks exhausted." Wondergirl said, scolding Superboy for being too loud.
"Should we leave?" Superboy asked.
"No, Batman said we only needed to sit by her for a while to get our scents in the air."
She replied and then nudged him forward. He was reluctant at first, but then sat on the bed next to Cat. The situation made him feel weird but Cat was his friend too and if it helped her he'd sit there all day. Superboy was also surprised Tim hadn't woken up yet.
"Wow." He said.
"What?" She asked.
"It's just that ever since he's been like her I haven't been able to walk in on him sleeping. As soon as I come in he wakes up, but…"
"Well, he's had a hard few days. I'm sure he hasn't been sleeping." Wondergirl said as she took her turn to sit by Cat.
"Do you think she'll wake up?" Superboy asked.
"I think she will." She replied.
"And if she doesn't?" He asked.
"Then Tim might follow her. But we shouldn't think like that." She told him and he nodded.
They then decided it would be best to go.
"We can come back tomorrow if she isn't awake." Wondergirl said to Superboy, who nodded and they left.
Tim slept all through the night, having terrible dreams about losing Cat. In Cat's dream she was desperately trying to find her way back to him… she had been able to smell everyone's scents and knew she was dreaming, but she was having trouble finding her way back. But then there it was plain as day, her staff. It was on display in the cave and she took it, finally realizing what she was afraid of. She was The Shadow and she never gave up without a fight, and neither would Cat.
As the light of day filled Catarena's room she took her first deep breath in two days. As her breath became less patterned and back to normal she slowly willed her eyes to open. She could barely move and her body felt weak, but she could tell she hadn't been out for too long. She figured her weakness was due to the strain her body had taken. Cat could tell Tim was deep asleep and dreaming as he lay on her slightly with his arm around her. She smiled and moved her right arm to touch his arm gently. She could tell her strength was returning with every minute.
"Are you dreaming love?"
Cat asked him softly as he lightly twitched and his face flinched. It looked as though it were a bad dream.
"Is it a bad dream?" She asked as she caressed his arm.
"It's just a dream. It's not real. Wake up." Cat whispered just as he'd done for her.
"Wake up Tim." She said softly and he awoke with a slight start.
Cat dared not move to keep from startling him. As he fully awoke he lifted himself a bit to look at her. When his eyes fell on hers she smiled.
"Hi." Cat said, Tim was utterly shocked.
"Am I still dreaming?" He asked.
"I could pinch you if you'd like."
Cat replied with a grin, as her fingers brushed his arm, she could see the tears welling in his eyes. He half laughed and sobbed at once and then embraced her with both arms as he buried his face into her neck sobbing. Cat rubbed his back soothingly.
"It's alright. This wasn't your fault okay? Please don't cry." Cat told him.
After a moment he stopped and he lifted his head to look at her, she smiled. She brushed his cheek with her fingers, whipping his wet face a little.
"See if you cry I'll cry, and then where will we be?" She said and he grinned.
He then leaned forward and captured her lips deeply. After a moment he pulled away, he could tell Cat had many questions. He knew of one without her even saying it and he transformed for her. She was a little confused.
"What happened?" She asked.
Tim grinned, showing his sharp white teeth.
"He changed his mind. Whatever Bruce said to him made him do it." He said as he transformed back to normal.
"How long was I out?" She asked.
"About two days. Which reminds me… I should go tell everyone you're awake." Tim said as he started to get up.
Cat managed to move her left arm enough to capture his hand in hers and she held it as tightly as she could to get him to stop. He turned to her, holding her hand.
"Don't go. Don't leave me." She whispered sadly.
He sat by her again and petted her head.
"I'm right here. I'll be here forever. But I promised I'd tell them the moment you woke up. I'll be right back." Tim said and Cat squeezed his hand again.
"Don't go."
Was all she could say.
"You could come with me?" He said.
"I'm not feeling myself right now, hard to move still." She said.
Tim became worried as he looked her over, he'd realized she hadn't moved much, but since Cat wasn't worried he relaxed.
"I could carry you?" He said.
Cat nodded and he moved to pick her up. He placed her left arm around his neck and slowly lifted her upper body.
"Who's down stairs?" Cat asked.
"I'm not sure. Bruce said my dad was coming for breakfast… Are you sure I should be moving you?" He asked.
"My strength is returning every minute, its fine." She told him.
He helped her other arm to wrap around his neck and then moved his other arm under her legs and effortlessly lifted her into his arms. She rested her head lightly against his shoulder and chin as he proceeded down stairs.
When Tim reached the living room they saw that Dick was camped out on the couch, and when Tim got closer Dick lifted his head to see him. When he saw Cat he quickly got up and went to them, unable to say a word. Just then Alfred entered the room only to stop in his tracks.
"Heavens be praised." He said.
Dick went to the cave to tell Bruce. They returned shortly and Bruce went up to them.
"Welcome back." Bruce said and Cat smiled.