A/N: As a precautionary, this story is based on and around the manga. The missing parts are filled in by the manga, not necessarily the anime. If you haven't read the manga, you may be a little lost and not understand their interactions fully. :3
Chapter 2
Over 50 days of confinement and now I am free. Freedom, it's not as sweet as I'd imagined it would be while bound and locked within that cell. The handcuff and chain gleam in the fluorescent lighting mocking me with my bittersweet freedom. A parody of freedom, being chained to him until he deems me to be innocent. No matter that everyone else on this team already believes me to be innocent. I do my best not to look at him, not to acknowledge him unless he speaks to me directly. I loathe him.
And he knows it. He avoids speaking to me, looking at me, unless he has to. He focuses almost solely on his laptop, glancing up when someone on the team has something to say, but otherwise paying them no mind.
He was shocked when I told him I wouldn't use Misa's emotions to my advantage. As though he expected me to use her without regard for her emotions. How could he expect me to play with her like that? Pretend to love her when honestly I cannot bring myself to that.
He wanted me to be like him… It sends chills down my back and makes my stomach boil. I do my best not to think of it. I know the motivation behind the event that lead to my distrust of him. He was only trying to find Kira. I do my best to remain amiable, but it's not easy. Every time I see him it's as if I can feel his fingers snaking down my back.
I have done my best not to look, not to analyze, not to care. It takes a toll on me though, pretending it didn't happen. I know one day soon I'll have to come to terms with his actions and my feelings about it. After all I don't know how L plans for us to use the restroom or to sleep. Surely he doesn't expect us to shower together? More chills and that seething anger that's been slinking away just under the amiable smile I've been clinging to. I am sure my feelings spill through my eyes, but I can't seem to stop the indignation I feel every time I look at him.
The others have noticed. They are uncomfortable around us even as I do my best to remain genial. They can see the way we avoid eye contact, and speak to one another only on matters related to the case. They assume it is because of my confinement. I am fine with that assumption. If they knew the truth… I refuse to continue that thought. All this anxiety actually makes me long for Misa's perky attitude, though she is thoroughly annoying, her happiness is contagious and spreads like wildfire. Even those who do not want to feel better cannot deny afterwards to feel a sort of… cleansing. And now I wish to feel that, but I cannot bring myself to go to her. It would be selfish of me to use her that way.
"It's getting late, Ryuzaki," I look up at the sound of Matsuda's voice. I look to my computer and am surprised by the time. I glance at L, to see him nodding, deep in thought.
"Yes, I suppose it is," L agrees. My father stands, but doesn't leave.
"Perhaps I should stay," he says thoughtfully.
"There's no need," L says, almost callously. My father frowns and before he can speak I am.
"Yes Dad, there's really no reason for you to stay. I'll be okay." He frowns at me and hesitates a moment then nods briskly.
"Then I will see the both of you tomorrow."
oOoOo
The pitter-patter of water on the shower floor is soothing. It lulls me into a trance-like state. The geometric pattern of the shower curtain leaves my eyes unfocussed and me in a stupor. I am grateful for this, it's better than the nervousness I felt as we were walking into the bathroom. He seems to be making no plans to make me share the shower.
The water shuts off and I feel the haze of not-quite full thoughts begin to lift. A pale hand reaches out the side of the shower curtain, lands on a towel and pulls it inside. The shower curtain opens, he's wrapped the towel around his waist. His body is pale, as expected, and he is thin. There is little tone to his chest and abs, and I am surprised he is so thin considering how often I have seen him eat, today alone. His legs are another story altogether. His legs are sinewy and as he steps out of the shower I can see muscle shift under his ivory skin. I look back to his face and feel flush almost instantly. He's been watching me examine him.
"I will be right back to release you, Light-kun." He leaves the bathroom and I can hear the soft sounds of cloth rustling. When he returns the towel is over his head and he's completely dressed. I quirk an eyebrow, curious at the fact that he's put on the same clothes he was wearing before his shower. He kneels behind me and I feel a warmth spreading from the back of my neck. I am still nervous to be so close to him. The cuffs around my wrists release and I sigh in relief as I bring my hands around to the front of me and rubbing my wrists. I stand stretching my arms high above my head, all too aware of his presence.
"This could get irritating," I murmur. He nods in agreement. He sits on the closed toilet and I find it a strange sight. I realize after a few moments it's because he's sitting on it as most people sit on chairs. The bowl is too small for both his feet to fit on it and the bathroom is too small to bring in a chair. "Do you have to be here?" I question him.
"I cannot leave you," he says in his monotone again. I turn away him, allowing a sigh to work to leave me. Arguing won't do any good, this I already know. I am quick about my shower, not wanting to spend too much time naked and vulnerable around him.
When I am done with my shower he is there, handing me a towel. It's an awkward moment, the shower curtain half open, and him handing me a towel, though not meeting my eyes. I see his eyes momentarily sweep over me, then dart away, careful to keep his head turned away from my nakedness. I take the towel and close the curtain. He causes such strange feelings to flow through me.
First and foremost he makes me nervous. Once it was only his wide black eyes that unnerved me, but now I know how ruthless and conniving he can be when he wants, or thinks he needs, to be. I can see how he tries to compensate for his actions even if they could be justified, however immoral they may have been, it's my stunted pride that keeps me from accepting his silent apologies.
When I step out of the shower I am pleasantly surprised to find myself alone. I wonder briefly at my sudden isolation, but decide not to contemplate it too much. I appreciate the stillness. I wrap the towel around my waist and leave the bathroom. I make my way to the bedroom, a door I have yet to have opened.
The pit of my stomach drops at the sight that greets me. In the room there are two dressers, a television sitting on a small entertainment stand. And there in the middle of the room, like a bright red stain on white carpeting, is a large king-sized bed. I let out a shuddering breath as realization sweeps through me.
"Light-kun, I didn't think you would be done drying off so soon." He is behind me and I can't help the lip I such between my teeth. I gnaw it lightly for a moment before finding my bearings. Letting go of my lip I turn to face him. "Your father just dropped this off for you." It's then that I notice the suitcase in his hand. He lifts it for me to take and I do so. I place it on one of the dressers and open it. I can't help the small smile that curves my lips as I observe my clothes that have been impeccably folded and placed in the case. I find a pair of my pajamas, black, soft, and silky. I do my best to ignore that he's behind me and quickly dress. When I turn around he is there with the chain.
"Do we really have to sleep with it? Isn't it enough that we're sharing the same bed?"
"Until we move into the new headquarters it is required."
"What happens then?"
"There will be finger print and retina scanners, it will be much easier to simply lock you in the room with me until morning." A frown pulls at my lips. So it's only at night that I will be reminded that I truly am still a prisoner. I jump at the feeling of cool finger on my own. He pulls my hand up and then locks the cuff to my wrist.
"Aren't you afraid I will kill you, given the chance?" I question him and shake my wrist making the chain jingle. He smirks confidently, his eyes meeting mine, and I can hear that smugness in his voice again.
"You are too smart to try to kill me," and he is speaking the truth.
oOoOo
The sheets are soft between my clenched fingers. My fingers ache from my fists being clenched so tightly. I fight to keep from crying out by gritting my teeth. Every touch is a pleasant jolt. Warm fingers glide over my skin, pinching and stroking in all the right places. Gentle hands on my face, soft lips on mine. I shudder at the feeling of a warm, supple tongue stroking my own. The lips pull away and leave me gasping. My hands leave the sheets to tangle in long, soft locks. I open my eyes, not even aware they had closed. I look up into deep, obsidian eyes -
Suddenly I am awake. L's face is peaceful in sleep. He is curled up, facing me, his breathing shallow and even. I remember I fell asleep to the clicking of the keys of his laptop. I didn't actually think I'd see him sleeping. And seeing him like this arouses strange emotions in me. Anger of course, but it gets to be quite tiring being so angry, especially when it's toward the only other person I've ever met that can challenge me intellectually. It's a lot of work ignoring the most interesting person in the room. Then of course there's my bruised pride and even my ego. I had thought that he was actually attracted to me and wanted me, however fearful I was in the moment. I may have even… I don't want to continue on this train of thought, but am I really willing to lie to myself like this? Over and over I've fought this thought off, but it keeps coming back.
L sighs softly and I focus on him thinking he may be waking up. I am almost relieved, this will allow me the opportunity to think on something else. But he doesn't stir again. I am disappointed, and as I watch him slumber my thoughts being to wander. I wonder vaguely what attracts me to him.
I falter for a moment. Attraction? I'm not attracted to L… am I? I frown as I think this over, my eyes never leaving L's face. I had thought initially that L wanted me; not a confession. If he had continued with his plan, I'm sure my thoughts would be different were that the case. I bite my lip in confusion. I had been scared he was going to force me, but I can't deny the desire I feel now when he touches me. I… want him to some extent, and it had hurt and angered me when he demanded a confession. Had he gone through with his plan though, would I have been able to forgive him?
I blink and gasp startled. His eyes are open and watching me. When had he opened his eyes? I try to remember, but I can't. I try to think of something to say, because I feel awkward lying next to him staring into his eyes. I can think of nothing, and it seems he can't either. I don't know how long we lay there like that, lost in our own thoughts, all of mine relating back to him. I hardly notice my eyes becoming heavier. His eyes are getting closer to mine, but it's so hard to stay awake now that my mind has been running in circles for what seems like ages.
"Light-kun," his voice follows me into darkness.
When I awaken again it's five in the morning and he is sitting next to me on the bed, staring at the door across from the bed, deep in thought. I begin to sit up and he turns to look at me. Our eyes meet and I notice that my anger is ebbing, leaving behind uncertainty.
oOoOo
After the first fight
oOoOo
I decide that all of my anger has not vanished, as I nurse my bruised jaw. L sits across from me, icepack on his nose and cheek. We've been lost in thought for a while now. Over the last few days I think I've been getting better with him. We talk now, though it's not necessarily friendly chats, mostly business. Of course it could simply be I am giving into the fact that I have to be chained to him for an indiscriminate amount of time.
But today, today his confidence was just too much. To become unmotivated because I am not Kira. I find it hard to believe that he has never been wrong before. That only leads to more thoughts. Is he going to continue suspecting me because he wants me to be Kira? Or will he break past that now that he sees what he's been doing?
"That was exhilarating, don't you think?"
"What?" Did I hear him correctly?
"That was fun," he says again. I blink confused and amused, and laugh silently to myself, shaking my head at his absurdity. When I look back I notice him watching me with a strange look on his face. I frown slightly.
"What is it?" I question him. He watches me for a long moment, and I start to flush and look away uncomfortably. When he does speak again it isn't an answer to my question.
"I think we'd better get back. You want to clear your name, right Light-kun?"
TBC