/N: You know I've thought about the time line for this waaaayyyy too hard. I'm such a dork! =o/
Chapter 4
The computer screen is glued to the back of my eyelids. I lean back in my chair rubbing them tiredly. How late was I up last night?
"Are you alright Light-kun? You haven't been your self today," Matsuda's voice inquiries from behind me.
"Yes, Matsuda, I'm fine. Just a little tired."
"Maybe Ryuzaki will let you go to the room and sleep," he suggested turning his gaze to L.
"Don't be foolish Matsuda, Light Yagami is chained to me for a reason. You do remember what that reason is?" L doesn't even bother to look at him. I can see Matsuda clearly understands his mistake.
"Of course," he says, belittled into silence.
"Maybe I'll just stick to coffee," I say, trying to break the tension.
"Yes, that sounds fine," L agrees, and steps off of the chair to accompany me. As soon as the surveillance room door closes behind us I am captured by L's lean arms. "Ryuzaki!" my voice is low and terse, I don't want anyone inside to hear me. Sharp teeth on the base of my neck. "This isn't the time for that," I wrench myself from his grip, turning to face him with a glare. "What if someone comes out and sees us? You're group will lose its reputation?" He pulls on his lip with his index finger, gazing up in thought.
"I suppose it wouldn't be all bad. And if you aren't Kira then there's no harm." I frown at him.
"But I am still a suspect, you can't think that that will get you out of trouble."
"Honestly Light-kun, I don't care what anyone else thinks. True there is still a probability that you are Kira and Misa Amane is the second Kira. But the Kira we are currently chasing is not Light Yagami. You are not this Kira." I blink at him, astonished.
"So… You justify this with the fact that I am not the current Kira. And once we capture him… We'll just stop doing this until you can find some way to blame all the previous Kira deaths on me?" He pulls on his lip again, watching me with calculating eyes.
"Yes… yes I believe that is how it will happen." I am once again surprised to the point of horror. I look to the floor, hiding my face, and any feelings racing across it, from him. Is this all I'm worth? A small window of opportunity to be useful to L as sexual gratification, and then I'll be thrown away like trash. Obviously I made an important decision without all the information. Can I go back now? Will he let me? We silently make out way to kitchen. I prepare my coffee and lean against the counter sipping the hot liquid.
I glance up at him, he's sitting at the table. This is one of the few times he isn't eating anything, instead he is watching me. He is the predator, and I the prey. I have become an obsession. Since his theory was blown he has worked towards this. Is he really trying to get me to confess to him? Or has he shifted all his attention to me because the case has gone cold? And when we get a lead, then what will happen? Do I even care? I think on this for a long moment. Do I mind being a possession, being disposable? I stare into his eyes, mesmerized by them. His dark, intense eyes amplify my carnal desires and I find it hard to think. I begin to surmise… I quite like the feeling.
oOoOo
8 days later
oOoOo
We've found a trend in the murders and the share prices of Yotsuba. It was in the same day we found out that the police had yielded to Kira. I don't fight the wry smirk as I think about it. L had tried to get them to leave. Of course my father put up an outstanding argument, and L had been forced to relent. I could detect the subtle disappointment in his voice at that.
Then L had bated Aizawa-san. My guess being that he was trying to rile everyone up, to make them angry enough to not want to work with him anymore. Through this ordeal he had made it very clear that I would not be leaving. And that he still suspected me to be Kira. I'm not sure if he truly believes me to be a suspect, or if he just wants me to stay by his side. I glance at him, crouched on his chair, fingers racing over the keys, eyes consuming the information before him. I wonder vaguely if even he knows.
I turn back to my laptop, continuing with my work. I don't need to start daydreaming now. We're so close to finding Kira, and if the killings stop my name will be freed of suspicion. But that's not a particularly appealing thought either. I don't want L to leave, I enjoy his company. I mentally shake off the thoughts and do my best to concentrate on gathering more information.
"Man," Matsuda groans as he stretches, "It's going to be a long night."
"Oh… that reminds me," L says, "I would like for you all to take the night and tomorrow off."
"Ryuzaki, are you sure now is the best time for this? We've finally gotten a lead after all this time. Perhaps we should stay and work." L shakes his head and pivots his chair to face my father.
"That would be the appropriate course of action if we were working with the police and had an extensive task force. But seeing as it is only the five of us, I believe everyone could do with a good rest. When you get back we will be working around the clock to capture Kira." I feel my stomach knot at his words, but I force the feeling away. It is more important to catch Kira.
"Well, thank you Ryuzaki," my father nods his head in respect, "but I wouldn't feel right taking the day off when I know you and my son will be here working."
"Dad it's alright, really," I insist. I can tell by his expression that I have not convinced him. I glance at L before I speak again, hoping this is what he was going for. "Besides I'm sure Mom would like to have you home, it's been a long time since you've had a day off." His expression softens at the mention of mother, I know I've won. "Sayu will be happy to see you as well. And we'll take it easy tomorrow, right Ryuzaki?"
"Yes, Light-kun, I see no reason why we can't." My father finally nods, and begins to organize the papers he's been looking through, and saving the data he's acquired on his computer.
"Yes, I haven't been out in so long!" Matsuda's happiness is contagious, even Mogi-san's expression looks pleased. "What are you going to do Mogi-san?" Mogi is silent for a moment, thinking hard, before he shrugs. "We could do something together!" Matsuda exclaims.
"Alright," Mogi-san nods, "that sounds like it could be fun." Matsuda grins and quickly shuffles his paperwork together and shuts down his computer.
I watch as the task force dons their coats, fixes their clothing and heads to the door.
We follow them to the elevator. These will be our last couple days of sin, and then we will all be working nonstop until we have apprehended Kira. The current Kira, I correct myself. Then I will be thrown aside while L works towards finding the previous Kira, who he believes to be me. That will be the hardest part in all of this. We bid our final farewells, and I assure my father one final time that I will be fine. Then they're gone and it's only L and myself. We begin walking towards the common room.
"The day is fast approaching," L says softly. He doesn't need to explain further than that. I am surprised that he's said that much. I nod in response. "We will have to make the most of our time alone," he murmurs and I catch his eyes in a quick glance. I nod again, unable to find my voice in this matter. I know there is nothing I can say to sway his suspicions. The metal of the cuff bites into my wrist and I come to an abrupt stop, I hadn't realize he'd stopped walking. He's watching me curiously.
"What?" I question him. He rests his thumb between his lips.
"You don't want this to end," it's not a question. I am caught off guard by his words, I hadn't realized I was being so transparent. I clench my fist, frustrated that I've allowed myself to become so vulnerable and open around him.
"We have to catch Kira," my voice is stern. "He cannot be allowed to commit such crimes against humanity. I know this." I do my best to believe in my own words.
"Perhaps Light-kun can give up being Kira?" he questions. I grind my teeth in anger. So we're back to this again. This subject that always seems to leave me frustrated and aching.
"How many times do I have to say it," I do my best to mask my anger, but it seeps through despite my efforts. "I am not Kira."
"But you were. You may return to being Kira once we capture the current Kira," I know better than to throw a punch at him now. He can see my anger building and will be expecting it.
"I am not Kira! I never was! And even if I was I wouldn't risk what w-" I snap my mouth shut.
"You wouldn't risk what?" He begins to approach me, eyes wide, curious, and cautious. I remain silent. He reaches out and his cool fingers stroke my cheek. I force myself to remain unmoved. "You wouldn't risk this?" A soft sigh. "Light-kun, I already explained what this is." I nod, chin high, but not meeting his eyes.
"I know…" but it perturbs me now.
"Of course," he adds, his congenial tone catching my attention and I my eyes connect to his. "Once I am one-hundred percent sure that Light-kun is not Kira, I may be inclined to frequent Japan."
My heart skips a beat, and I try to snuff the hope that builds. All the information gathered about the previous Kira points to me. He will never be one-hundred percent sure, and I tell him so.
He moves closer, as his lips brush mine, he speaks: "Perhaps I can be persuaded, if Kira disappears after we catch him." My mind is reeling as his lips lock onto mine and he pushes me to the nearest wall, hands groping and pulling at my clothes. My mind races back to our first physical encounter. L will do anything to get a confession, despite the immorality of his means.
L is too stubborn to be convinced of my innocence. He's only saying this so that I will give myself over to him. And I want to. I want to not care about what will happen and take what I can before it is gone. I inhale deeply and put my hands to his chest. Not this time. I am not his toy.
oOoOo
The next day
L pov
oOoOo
I don't understand.
If Light were working in conjunction with Yotsuba he would have to contact them somehow. But he's never alone. True I take off the chain in our private room, only because he cannot leave on his own and the only private place is the bathroom. Even that is not truly private. I know the exact places within that cannot be seen from the bed, where we frequent, but I have yet to see him in those spots. Having been so intimate with him I would have found any way for him to communicate. On top of that he should be showing some sign of stress, or at least trying to derail the case. But he just sits there calmly reading his book.
I lean my head down over my knees to get a better look at his face. His eyes move quickly back and forth, he's only reading. They flick up to mine, and we watch each other for a long terse moment, then they return to his book. So it must be true then, Kira's powers can pass from person to person and Light Yagami must not remember being Kira. All of the evidence points to him, yet it's all inconclusive. He's made it look like I want him to be Kira, so now unless I find concrete evidence no one will be willing to convict him. But first we must find the current Kira. A soft, smooth brush to my face brings me out of my thoughts. This is becoming dangerous, I am getting too comfortable around him. He places his book on the coffee table and then slides closer to me. My heart beat speeds up; this is a first.
"You know I told my Dad we would take it easy today."
"Yes, I know. That is why you are reading and not working." He gives me an irritable smirk and cocks his head. His hair falls in his eyes and I fight the urge to push it away. I've already unintentionally hurt him and yet here he is opening himself up for it again. I wonder if he even realizes he's doing it.
"You're not relaxing though," he replies, voice like honeyed idolization. I close my eyes momentarily, reminding myself who the boy is and why I must remain aloof.
"That's true," I reply, after my control has been restored. "I don't see how I can relax considering the investigation we're about to start." He grins at me wantonly and I silently curse his subtle, sensuality.
"Oh, well I can help you out there," he murmurs, and accomplishes his task with soft lips and persistent hands.
oOoOo
End L pov
3 days later (After Weddie installs spyware at Yotsuba)
oOoOo
Everyone else has gone to bed, it is only him and me. The room is dark except for the light from the screens showing us Misa's rooms.
She's asleep, snuggled in her bed. We won't be relieved from watching her until early morning, then we'll be given a few hours to nap and we'll return back here to continue the investigation.
"Are you still awake?"
"Yes."
"Are you tired at all?" I meet his gaze, noting the concern in his face. "We could move to the sofa if you need to rest."
I don't know what to think of him anymore. He's still suspicious of me being Kira, but I can't blame him anymore. If it weren't for the fact that I know I'm not Kira I would have the same suspicions. Yet he still says things like this, and catches me off guard. Normally I would distance myself from someone who affects me the way he does, and with such a varied array of sentiments, but that's not currently a possibility. And if given the option, I don't know if I would take it. I am lost when it comes to him; lost in my own emotions and his enigmatic mind.
"That sounds fine." He nods and we walk towards the couch. We turn it to face the monitors and then he's sitting in his crouch. I sit next to him, leaning into him, laying my head on his arm. He stiffens for a moment, then leans into the back of couch, allowing one foot to touch the floor, the other still remaining on the couch, allowing my head to rest on his shoulder. The contentment I feel is mellowing.
"I don't know what to make of you anymore, Light-kun." His voice is soft and weary. I look up at him, he's still watching the monitors. Watching Misa sleep. "You know I think you're the original Kira, yet you continue to let me take advantage of you." I don't want to hear this again. I lean into him and lightly graze his neck with my lips. "Light-kun, stop." I frown at this and sit up.
"If I were Kira I would know. And I wouldn't have allowed myself to be put in this situation. Yet here I am," I say exasperatedly. Our eyes lock in a silent battle of wills. He gives in first with a sigh, turning his eyes back to the monitors.
"Perhaps you don't remember being Kira." I huff at this.
"Even if that were the case, the fact remains that right now," I lean closer, he does not pull away, "I am Light Yagami." I grip and chin and turn his face to him and brush his lips with mine and he returns the gentle kiss. I tremble slightly at the tenderness. The kiss awakens something in me and I moan against his mouth.
"You have to stop Light-kun. Anyone can walk in and if we are caught-" I catch his lips again and violate his mouth with my tongue. He gasps and allows me to take control. When we break he is watching me with wide, surprised eyes.
"Then what?" I question him. "Will you have me chained to someone else? Aizawa-san or Mogi-san? Or perhaps Matsuda-san?" I hum in thought, throwing a leg over his and straddling him while kissing him intensely again. "Yes, I think it should be Matsuda-san. I could convince him to do almost anything." I grin roguishly at him and watch as his expression changes. His brow narrows and I can see the muscles of his jaw working as he grinds his teeth. I laugh softly. "Would that make you jealous, Ryuzaki?" I whisper in his ear, catching his lobe between my teeth and nibbling gently.
He remains silent, refusing to meet my eyes, focusing solely on the monitors. When he remains this way I return to my previous position, head on his shoulder.
"I was only playing, Ryuzaki," I inform him. "I didn't mean to upset you. Besides, Matsuda's wit could never match yours." He hums, quick and sharp, but says nothing else. I sigh dejectedly, but stay, curled against his side. He slips an arm around me, and I let a small smile curve my lips.
"Uh… L-Light-kun? Ryuzaki?"
"Hmm?" I mumble, I'm not sure when I fell asleep. I open my eyes blearily, and look up into soft, brown eyes. It's only Matsuda, I begin to fall back to sleep. "Matsuda-san?!" I yelp, eyes snapping open and meeting Matsuda's, as I realize that I'm not dreaming. L stiffens next to me, and I realize that he must have fallen asleep as well. I quickly pull away from him.
"You're early, Matsuda-san," L says, his voice controlled and neutral.
"Uh… yeah," Matsuda looks away, his cheeks slightly reddened. "I wanted to take initiative and start work early." He looks back to us suddenly, his expression first confused and then cheery. "Does this mean you no longer suspect Light-kun to be Kira?"
"Yagami-kun is most definitely not the current Kira," L states. Disappointment sweeps through me. He still has to specify… I push my feelings aside and stand, stretching my arms as far above my head as the chain will allow.
Matsuda's face brightens more so and he nods enthusiastically.
"Okay, great!"
"Matsuda-san," L's voice is stern and Matsuda quickly sobers.
"Please keep this to yourself," he motions to me. "I do not wish for anyone else to know." Matsuda nods eagerly.
"Yes, yes of course! I can relieve you now, if you'd like." L is silent for a moment, pulling on his lip in thought. He sighs softly.
"Yes, that should be fine."
After we've entered our room and have laid down, limbs tangled as we normally are, I ask:
"Do you think he'll tell anyone?" L is silent, fingers gently caressing the skin of my hip. It's become his new habit when he's deep in thought.
"No, Matsuda-san is loyal to a fault. I don't know if it will even cross his mind that you are still a suspect." A gentle nip to the back of my neck. "Sleep now, we have a long day ahead of us."
TBC
A/N: I know, I know, why would Matsuda of ALL people find them? But through the entire series he so desperately wanted to believe in Light's innocence. So… I decided to make this one of the reasons why. =)
It's seems like they got close in too short a time... but I don't really want to come up with all the little things that go on btwn them in the time lapse. Sorry, not very motivated in that area.