Chapter 27.

Emma listened to the phone ring as she tapped her fingers and toes anxiously.

"Hey, Swan," her best friends voice sounded lightly on the other end of the line, but grew sceptical when she didn't get a response, "Em? You okay?" she frowned, "Hey, talk to me, Em."

Emma let out a deep breath, "Sorry," she mumbled.

"It's okay," Belle replied, "What's going on?"

"I don't know. I'm just…"

"I'm gonna come over, okay? I can be there in – "

"No, it's okay, you don't – "

"Ten minutes," Belle finished firmly; she wasn't sure what was wrong but she knew Emma didn't like speaking over the phone and she was acting a little strangely, it was always best for her to be cautious with Emma; she knew that, "I'll see you soon okay, Em?"

"Okay, thanks Belle," Emma said quietly as she hung up. She crashed her head on the couch cushion and closed her eyes. She hadn't felt like this in a while and she was trying not to panic; it was normal, she told herself, to feel down from time to time. But why did it have to happen when Regina was at a stupid meeting? She let her eyes flutter close; she hadn't done this in a while, it was okay to want to feel safe, right?

"Em…Em," Belle put her hand on her friends shoulder, watching her eyelids flutter, "Open your eyes, Swan."

Emma's eyes opened slowly, looking surprised to see her friend, "Hey," she tried to shake herself to attention, "How'd you get in?"

"I know where the spare key is, remember?" Belle smiled before biting her lip, "Are you okay, Em? I thought you stopped that mind travelling thing…"

"I was just sleeping," Emma shrugged.

Belle started to roll her eyes but stopped, pursing her lips, "Em, you know I can tell the difference."

Emma sighed but nodded resignedly, "I know," she said quietly, "And I did stop, I haven't done it for months. I haven't…needed to."

Belle looked worried, "Where's Regina, Em?"

"She's at some faculty meeting," the blonde replied with a shrug.

Belle nodded, "Does she know about it? The mind travelling…?"

Emma shook her head, "Not really. I mean, she knows I'm a day dreamer…"

"It's more than just daydreaming," Belle said quietly, "Why haven't you told her?"

Emma shrugged, "I was hardly doing it…and then when she came along, it stopped altogether. Today is like the first time in ages it came back. It's just boredom, maybe a little loneliness…" she sighed, "And…I maybe took my meds late this morning," she muttered, "But it's just one day, right?"

Belle bit the corner of her lip down, "Okay," she said calmly, "Why'd you take them late?" she tried to ask in a non-accusing way.

"I just forgot, that's all. I don't know why, I slept in a bit and I just didn't think of it until lunchtime. But it wouldn't have such a quick effect, that doesn't make sense."

Belle nodded, "Probably not… but maybe you were anxious about it, maybe you got yourself worked up. I don't know, Em. I know you don't like it when you're home alone, but you can call me whenever, I can always come over or you can come to the library with me. Or just go into Granny's, at least you're not alone."

Emma nodded, "I know, thanks Belle," she murmured, "It felt nice though," she said almost inaudibly.

Belle frowned, "But, like you said, you have Regina now? You don't need that place to make you feel safe, right?"

Emma shrugged, "I guess," she said uncertainly.

"Either way, you should tell Regina about it. She should know, Em. You know it's a cycle, it goes away for a while and it comes back," Belle said, trying not to lecture her friend.

Emma sighed and nodded, "I know. You're right. It's just hard to explain."

"Mind…travelling?" Regina asked, rolling her tongue around the unfamiliar phrase.

"It's not an official term or anything," Emma muttered, "It's just the term me and Belle came up with when we were kids… It was kinda cool back then, I guess. I remember Belle was jealous even… so she came up with the term…mind travelling."

Regina nodded, her brow still furrowed, "Okay. So, what is it exactly, dear?"

Emma chewed on her lip for a moment, "Well, it's sorta like daydreaming," she started, "But you know…not," she commenced chewing her lip as she felt Regina's patient eyes on her, "I mean, I think I've kinda mentioned it but not…completely. I mean, you know I daydream a lot, right?"

Regina nodded, "Yes, I know. You used to do it during class sometimes."

Emma nodded, "Well, yeah. I mean, there are different degrees of it too, I suppose. I mean," she shook her head, "I'm sorry; this is hard to explain."

"It's okay, dear," Regina squeezed Emma's hand, "Take your time."

"Well, when Belle and I were younger we used to play silly games, you know pretend to be animals or like go on adventures and things, have fake swordfights and stuff like that. Normal kid stuff, I guess. Well, one day, I just zoned out totally. I don't really remember it much, but Belle says my eyes just sorta glazed over… she would try to get my attention but it took a while for me to realise what she was doing," Emma nibbled her lip.

Regina remained silent but attentive as the blonde figured out her next words.

"When she asked me what I was doing, I said I was still playing and I was in this castle because this nice family had taken me in, away from my foster parents. The man taught me how to sword fight and the woman taught me how to ride a horse," she shrugged, "That's why, at first, Belle was jealous. I spoke about it so vividly… she wanted to go to the castle, but no matter how hard she tried to imagine it, she would always be distracted by the world around her. Not like me," she looked at Regina apprehensively.

Regina nodded, "I see. An extreme case of having a vivid imagination?"

Emma nodded and looked down, fiddling with the threads of the cushion she held close to her chest, "When we got a little older, we realised it wasn't…normal. I mean, we didn't play games like that anymore but I'd still zone out…mostly if I'd had an argument or something with whatever foster family I was with the time. The older I got, the more I seemed to do it…to escape."

"Have you ever talked to any of your doctor's about this?" Regina asked curiously.

Emma hesitated before nodding, "Yeah, once. I mean, at one stage I guess I was doing it all the time…even in my sessions. I guess I didn't feel safe anywhere. My psych at the time said it's not uncommon for abuse victims to…find a safe place in their heads. She says I probably did during the abuse…but I don't really remember that," she shrugged.

Regina nodded slowly, "I have heard talk of that before... I just didn't realise how involved, how intense it is," she hesitated, "When you're in this other place, do you think it's real?"

Emma frowned, "No, I don't think so. I wish it was sometimes, but I still know it's not. I still know reality is…there, waiting for me to come back. In fact, I'm so good at it sometimes, I can live both worlds at once and nobody can really notice."

Regina's eyes softened, "Honey, you know you're safe here with me, don't you?" she asked gently, putting a hand in the teenager's blonde hair.

Emma nodded quickly and took a hold of her girlfriend's hand, "I know that. I mean, that's why it stopped, because I met you. I felt safe."

Regina's eyes widened as she leant forward and kissed Emma on the forehead, "Sweetheart, you are safe," she murmured, "But I understand this need to escape. I really do, I know it's not quite to the same extent, but I have been very lonely over the years and so I read or watch films. It is an escape of a kind. I'm sure Belle is the same with her books, it can transport you somewhere else, just like movies or art or music, whatever it is people connect with."

Emma nodded, "I guess that's true," she said uncertainly.

"I know it's not quite the same, dear," Regina sighed, "May I ask, you said earlier, this was something that has reoccurred recently?"

"Only once," Emma said quickly, "Just today, when you were out," she shrugged, "I just felt a little down, a little lonely… so I gave Belle a call and she came over and I guess I was a little zoned out. But I mean, it may have just been a once off. I," she hesitated and hung her head, "I forgot my medication until this afternoon."

"You dd?" Regina frowned, nodding as she pulled the blonde into her chest, "You see your doctor in a few days anyway, you should mention it," she suggested.

Emma nodded in response, curling up in a ball against her girlfriend, "Mhm, I will," she said, "I love you, Regina. You're so good to me."

Regina smiled as she ran a comforting hand over Emma's back, "You deserve it, sweetheart. I love you too. You're my precious girl," she whispered, "I think it's normal for you to have a bad day every now and then. Even people without an illness have days where they just feel lower than usual, it's just that for you the mood drops a little further."

Emma twisted her body so she could stare up at the brunette, "So, you don't think it means I'm getting ill again?"

Regina stroked her cheek with a finger, "I don't know, dear, I don't think so but I'm not a doctor. Either way, we'll deal with it together. We'll work out a better routine for taking your medication too, okay? Especially if I'm going out."

Emma nodded, "Okay," she said softly as she smiled; she'd never believed anyone's words the way she did Regina's, "I should get to bed, I have that test tomorrow," she put a hand over her mouth as she yawned.

"Hmm, yes, you should," Regina murmured, "That busy mind of yours must be exhausted," she said as she half-carried the sleepy teenager to the bedroom and pulled the blanket tight around them, before wrapping her arms around the blonde's waist and resting her chin on her shoulder, mulling over the phrase…mind travelling and wondering how she could help her girlfriend through the obstacles that faced her.