No Money, No Love
By: Witch Baby
A/N: I was so happy with my reviews, I decided to post the second chapter. I was going to wait until next month, but hey, I'm feeling nice. ;3
"Of all the things I believe in
I just want to get it over with
Tears from behind my eyes
But I do not cry,
Counting the days that past me by…"
Chapter Two: Flying
"Ayase-kun, are you all right honey?"
"Huh?" the blond looked up at the okama that was gazing up at him with concerned eyes, "I'm sorry Someya-san, I was just…lost in thought."
The birds outside the window of Someya's office had distracted him. Their flight and their freedom were captivating. They where able to go wherever they wanted in life, anywhere in the world…
Just like him. It was almost too much to believe.
"Are you sure you're okay?" Someya asked. Ayase had been staring off into space on and off all day, acting quieter and more withdrawn then usual. Someya had become quite fond of the petite blond over the years, and though she was glad Ayase had his freedom, she was concerned about what life without Kanou would do to him.
"I'm fine Someya-san, just...unsure about a few things."
The okama patted his hand affectionately. "Don't worry yourself so much. I'll help you in any way I can."
Ayase smiled. "I know, thank you. You've already done so much for me."
"Anything for my prized worker!" she gushed.
Ayase chuckled softly, his gaze drifting once more to the windows. Yes, he had his freedom, but what was he supposed to do with it? He had spent so much time locked in a cage, he wasn't sure he could even use his wings.
"Ayase…can I ask a personal question?"
The blond turned back to the okama, confused by her request. "Of course Someya-san."
"Was it really so bad? Living with Kanou I mean…"
Ayase paused, a mix of emotions flickering in his bright blue eyes. Someya waited patiently for the younger male to answer, for whatever he said would cement the plan already forming in the okama's mind.
"No it wasn't," Ayase answered quietly, "Kanou took care of me, and saved my life countless times. Once I got used to things, it was even quite nice."
"Then why leave?"
Ayase sighed, his shoulders slumping slightly. He looked so worn, like he would shatter given the slightest push. "Because no one wants to live in a cage, even if it is a nice one. It was a good dream, but how can any of it be real if it was only built upon lust and money?"
Someya regarded the fragile blond carefully, before giving him a small smile. "When did you become so smart Ayase?"
He smiled back shyly. "Well, after three years with Kanou, I was bound to learn something."
"Very true." Someya teased, though a part of her was slightly saddened at the off-handed comment. Ayase had been such a sweet boy in the beginning. Naive, but selfless and hard working. So many things had happened to him, and Someya could see that just beneath the blonds smile was something broken and hurting.
She could only imagine what Kanou must be feeling. It was a shame really, how much those two needed each other. Ayase was as fragile as Kanou was a brute, but they where able to balance and be what the other was not. Ayase had a point though, how could he be anything other than Kanou's possession when the man only treated him as such? If there was to be any hope for those two, then time apart was needed.
"Are you happy now Ayase?" Someya asked suddenly.
Ayase glance wistfully outside, laughing softly. "I think I will be Someya-san. Or at least, I hope I will be."
Someya smiled, pleased with the younger blond. "Well, I know you probably want to start organizing your new life, so I won't keep you any longer."
Ayase stood, giving the okama a brief hug. "Thank you again Someya-san, for everything. Especially finding a place to stay."
"Don't worry dear, I'm happy to help! But don't think that moving will get you out of work! I expect you back on Monday."
Ayase laughed, waving good-bye to his friend. "Sure thing Someya-san, see you then!"
He left the okama bar, waving to a few of the workers and customers he knew well. He was glad that in the end he hadn't been forced to quit his job at Someya's. The bar had become something dear to him, a familiar anchor where he could find his stability. Especially now, since Kanou was no long providing for him.
He paused mid-stride, his chest aching suddenly with the thought of the older man. Ayase could not truthfully say that he didn't miss Kanou. His whole life had been centered on the man and Ayase was still unsure if he could make it. He had to though, he had no other choice but to try and function. He wasn't the same 18 year old boy and he knew it would be hard, but he would still push forward.
There were things he wanted to do, and now it was his choice to do them. A feeling of joy bubbled up inside, pushing away the pain and making him smile. The only one he had to answer to know was himself. At 21, it was high time he lived his own life, free from the rules of anyone else.
His new apartment was, thankfully, not far from Someya's business. Ayase couldn't afford bus fair, let alone a car to get to and from work. There were more important things he needed his money for now. Luckily he did have a little money stashed away, enough to at least get started.
Technically, his debt to Kanou had been paid months before. After pouring over his own records of their "payments". Ayase had realized that he had been completely finished. He didn't have to play the part of Kanou's "pet" any longer. For weeks he had agonized over the realization, and more then a little hurt that Kanou hadn't said a word. Did the man not know? Or did he just not care?
Finally, Ayase had turned to Someya, who he knew would help him. He looked up to eccentric okama, who always knew how to handle people better then Ayase seemed to be able to. The blond might be a bit more wary then when he was younger, but more often then not, he was still a little too trusting.
It was Someya that had helped Ayase save up and rent apartment, all without Kanou's knowledge. Ayase knew what a big deal that was for the okama. Kanou was Someya's friend, no matter how much they denied it, and by helping Ayase move out, he was potentially putting that friendship on the line.
Ayase was a bit surprised Kanou had not contacted him yet. It would have only been a few hours ago that Kanou would have come home to find Ayase gone. He wondered what Kanou would feel when he found his note. Would he be angry? Would he care at all? Ayase knew he hadn't heard the last of the man, but he would deal with that when it happened. For now, Ayase just wanted to go home and relax.
The place Someya had found for him was a small, smaller then the apartment he had lived in before he lived with Kanou and it was located right above an old bakery. Despite its lack of room, it was cozy to Ayase, just perfect. The older couple that owned the bakery and rented out the apartment were nice, and the smell of warm, fresh bread was inviting every time he stepped inside. There wasn't any furniture except a bed that had come with the place, and the walls where all an ugly shade of what once was white, now a dirty yellow from age.
However, it held potential in Ayase's eyes. It would be easy to find some simple furniture, and he already had the 'okay' to repaint the rooms. It would be a fun experience to turn the old apartment into something beautiful.
Ayase climbed the stairs up to his apartment, wishing he wasn't so tired so he could get started already. It was late though, and he was already feeling the day wearing down on him. By the time he had unlocked the door, he was doing his best to hold back a yawn. Kicking off his shoes, he locked the door back up, making sure the dead-bolt was secure and the chain was on. Now that he was living alone, he didn't want any unexpected surprises.
Shrugging off his shirt and pants, he left them piled at the foot of the bed, exhaustion making him put cleaning off until the morning. Pulling on a night shirt, he climbed into the small bed and snuggled deep within the comforter.
A familiar fragrance enveloped him suddenly, bringing him comfort as well as a wave of longing. Kanou's scent still clung lightly to the clothes he wore, and it made the bed seem to large and cold. Blinking back a rush of tears, he fisted the soft material of the shirt, forcing himself to succumb to the lonely, but thankful lull of sleep.
A/N: Chapter two is finished! Filler chapter I know but, it's only the second chapter. Stick with it because I promise it gets good! PLEASE REVIEW!
On a side not, the lyrics at the beginning of the chapter, are from the same song used in chapter one.
Now for review replies! I may not get to them all, but I thank all that provided me with a review. You guys are what make the day bearable! :3
Hellen:You are so right, Ayase did have interest on his debt. I am in no ways a mathematician though so I kind have left those details vague. Let's just say the magical yaoi fairy paid it off…
XxMyth MakerxX: Thank you, thank you, and thank you! Your review means a bunch. Especially when you said you saw no spelling or grammar mistakes. I am a TERRIBLE speller and would die without spell check. I'm glad my story has caught your interest and I hope I don't disappoint! Ayase and Kanou actually really annoy me with the way they dance around their emotions, so this story is really important to me because they are finally on even ground. No lies or pretenses to keep them together. Anyway, I hope you continue to read!
Onige-a: Yep, Ayase better lock his doors! :) Ayase is free though and Kanou better watch himself. I'm glad to finally have them at an even level. My main hope is to show that a prison, no matter how nicely dressed up, is still a prison. It's something I think Kanou needs to learn.
See1like: Thanks for the review. I have a lot planned for Ayase and Kanou. And a few others too, but those are secrets. ;)
A Dangerous Notion:Yeah, I have problems with Kanou as well. It's nice when he actually has to be a gentleman other then a bully. I have a lot planned for this fic, so I hope you stick with it.