No Money, No Love
By: Witch Baby
A/N: The song used for the beginning of this chapter is "Here Is Gone" by the Goo Goo Dolls.
FYI, "_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_" indicates a scene change.
And, as you will probably read, I edited chapters two and three so that instead of saying 'he' for Someya, it says 'she'. See1like was right and Someya chose to be a female and I should address her as such. Sorry for that, and thank you See1like for expressing your opinion in a non-flame way. :)
"And I want to get free, talk to me
I can feel you falling
And I wanted to be all you need
Somehow here is gone
I have no solution
To the sound of this pollution in me
And I was not the answer
So forget you ever thought it was me…"
Chapter Four: Strength
With the morning came a sense of bitter-sweetness for Ayase. His first official day without Kanou started with wiping the lingering tears from the night before. It was the first time in three years that there was no one to cook for, no one to clean up after.
No good morning kisses…
He was surprised how much he missed that. How lonely it was to wake up for no one, go to sleep with no one. For a moment, as he lay quietly in the early morning sun, he grappled with the overpowering feelings of loss and lack of usefulness.
'No,' he scolded himself, 'you're stronger then this! You have things to do, so stop sulking and get started!'
That much was true. There was painting to be done and he needed a few necessities for the apartment. Before that though there was cleaning and all kinds of other things. Goals gave him purpose, something else to focus on. He climbed out of bed, already making plans and lists. He had a few ideas already for how he wanted to decorate the rooms.
By the time Ayase dressed and was getting ready to leave, he was feeling much better. Slowly but surely he would find his own way. He was an adult with a job and a place of his own. Some people weren't as lucky as to have even that and he should be grateful for a fresh start.
Buying a muffin from the bakery downstairs, he set off for the stores lining the streets, thinking to himself that today was going to be a good day.
"_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_"
Kanou looked up at the little apartment above the bakery with obvious disdain. Ayase had left him for this run-down piece of crap? His frown deepened as he stepped out of his car and inside of the little shop below.
"Why hello deary, how may I help you?" asked an older lady behind the counter, giving him a pleasant smile.
Kanou put up a charming face. Scaring the older women wouldn't help him get to Ayase, even though he felt like he'd rather go on a destructive rampage. "I was wondering if I could inquire about the apartment above your shop?"
"Well, I'm sorry but I'm afraid we already found a tenant."
"Yes I know, I was just wondering if you could confirm something for me. Your tenant, is his name Yukia Ayase?"
The women smiled. "Why, yes it is! Such a sweet boy, and very pretty too. Are you a friend of his?"
For the first time since yesterday, Kanou relaxed. Finally, he had found him. "Yes I am. Is he here now?"
"Oh, you just missed him. He left about twenty minuets ago to buy some things for the rooms upstairs. But I'm sure he'll be back soon. There's only so much you can carry without a car."
Kanou's smile became strained. "Thank you for your help." He said quickly before leaving.
He felt like cursing for having such rotten luck. But, it was no matter. He had spent hours searching for Ayase; he could wait a few more. Climbing back into the car, he told Homare to park the car down the street.
Now all he had to do was wait.
"_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_"
"Thank you so much Someya-san for letting me store some things here until tomorrow."
The okama smiled at Ayase, pouring him some tea. "No problem Aya-chan. Buruko said she'd be by around noon tomorrow to drop of your things. You'll have to invite us all over when you finish redecorating."
"Of course." Ayase agreed, gratefully taking the tea the okama offered.
Shopping had been a great distraction for the blond, but he still felt exhausted from so much walking and the lingering worry. On and off all day he had been switching between intense longing and panic. He'd spent most of the time glancing over his shoulder, waiting for Kanou or one of the Kuba twins to step up and drag him away.
What was worse though, was the little stab of hurt he felt when he realized that so far he hadn't heard a word from Kanou. It wasn't what he wanted, but still…
"Aya-chan, is something wrong?"
The blond looked up at the okama, not bothering to hide his feelings of uncertainty. "I'm fine Someya-san, its just…why hasn't he come for me?"
Someya thought briefly back to the episode from earlier that morning and smiled. "Would you like him to?"
Ayase frowned. "I'm not sure. I'm happy, but…"
Someya patted his hand encouragingly. "You just don't want to believe the last three years meant nothing."
Ayase nodded, the tears he'd been holding back finally falling freely. "I'm scared Someya. I want to live my life, but a part of me still doesn't want to lose him."
The okama hugged the blond as he cried quietly. "Don't be upset Ayase. This has nothing to do with you and everything to do with how Kanou feels."
The younger male wiped at his tears, looking up at Someya for answers. "What do you mean?"
Someya sighed tiredly. "I wish I could give you the answers you want Aya-chan but I can't speak for Kanou."
The blond nodded again, the hurt and defeat evident in his teary blue eyes. "I know Someya-san. Thank you."
The okama gave Ayase another hug, doing her best to console the blond. "Don't think about Kanou so much right now, think about yourself. This is your time."
"You're right," Ayase agreed, sitting up straighter, "I have things to do without Kanou."
"That's right! Stand up for yourself!"
Ayase laughed, the first real laugh Someya had heard from him in awhile. She was pleased, especially since it wouldn't be long before the blond would come face to face with Kanou. At least, for a little while, he could enjoy himself. Because Someya felt that very soon, it would all come crashing down.
"_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_"
Homare tensed as he saw Ayase walking merrily down the side-walk, oblivious to the car parked across the street where he and Kanou sat, watching and waiting for him.
The Kuba twin was torn as he watched Ayase walk up the steps to his apartment above the bakery. He seemed so care-free and happy. Away from Kanou, the blond's attitude was so much brighter.
And here they where, ready to take him away.
There were many times since Kanou had first purchased Ayase where Homare had disagreed with his boss. His angry out bursts and jealous rages, the way he would savagely take Ayase without any regard to who was around or how Ayase felt. Every time though, Homare had kept his mouth shut.
However, in that moment, as Kanou exited the car to take back his prize, Homare believed he truly hated him.
Kanou was too dazed to care about much at the moment. Ayase was right there in his sights, and his world narrowed to nothing but the blond angel behind the door. He felt as if he had waited eons for Ayase, and he wanted nothing more then to pull him into his arms.
He pounded on the door. "Ayase, open up this door right now!"
Kanou heard a crash, like a plate of glass being dropped to the floor, then a muffled sound of alarm. "If you don't open this door, I'll break it down!" he threatened.
He paused, listing to Ayase's hurried footsteps and the clicks of the locks being undone. Then there he was, his angels face peeking from a crack in the door. "W-what do you want Kanou?" Ayase asked timidly.
Did he really have to ask? "I'm here for you."
Ayase took a deep breath, willing his hands to stop shaking as he pulled the door open a little more to face the older male. "Kanou, I'm not going with you."
Kanou slammed his hand against the door frame, making Ayase jump and give a startled squeak. "I'm not letting you go, you're mine!"
Ayase gripped the door knob so tightly, his hands ached with the effort. "I don't belong to anyone but myself."
Kanou growled, grabbing Ayase's wrist and dragging him outside. "You will come with me!" he thundered, rage bursting through him.
Ayase struggled, pulling back against the overpowering strength of the bigger male. "Let me go! I don't want to be with you."
Kanou stilled, though his vise like grip did not loosen. He turned to face stare down at the blond with cold, angry eyes. "So you'd rather stay here in this hovel? Even after all I've done for you?"
Ayase flinched as the iron hold tightened. He would definitely have some nasty bruises come morning. He didn't crumple against Kanou's will though, but instead faced him with a bravado he didn't feel. "I want to stay here."
"Never!" Kanou roared, eyes wild as he crushed Ayase against him in a desperate embrace.
That pained Ayase the worst, more then the arms damaging his sensitive skin. But he could never tell him that or show how weak Kanou was making him. The blond pushed back against the older male. "Stop it Kanou, you're hurting me!"
Kanou let him go, eyes resting on Ayase's delicate wrist where already bruises bloomed on his angel's skin. Guilt tore him up inside and it forced him to look away. He had never meant to hurt Ayase, had sworn never to hurt him again. That wasn't his intention in the least. He only wanted to protect him and cherish him.
Love him.
"I won't go with you." Ayase said firmly.
"I won't let you go." Kanou replied with equal conviction.
Ayase shook his head, turning away. "That's not your choice any longer."
Without another word, he walked back inside, leaving Kanou in a state of anger and disbelief. How dare Ayase do this to him? He had done everything for him! "I won't give up Ayase!" he vowed, slamming his fists against the door, "Whether you believe it or not, you're mine!"
Ayase leaned against the closed door, shaking as he listened to Kanou stomp away. He wasn't sure exactly what he had expected when he saw Kanou again, but it hadn't been this. Not the yelling and the pain, and especially not the unrelenting need to chase after the man and beg for forgiveness.
Burying his face in his hands, he wept.
A/N:It's far-fetched to think that Kanou, with his mad ninja skills, would take so long to find Ayase. But for the sake of the story, let's just say it did. Blame the magical Yaoi Fairy!
I re-wrote the first meeting scene literally like, 5 times. I really hope people are satisfied with it as I was. I tried my hardest to make it as epic as possible but…well, we shall see what the fans say! Also, this chapter was originally divided into two chapters, but people keep mentioning that they prefer longer chapters, so I pushed two of them together and hoped for the best that it flows right in the end.
Wow, I have so many insecurities about this story! Yikes! D:
Review Replies! Even if I didn't mention you, know that you have my undying love and affection! Please read and review!
XxMyth MakerxX:For all of his brute-ness, I do love Kanou. I just wish he had a little more common sense most of the time. And I have big plans for Homare. :) I always did feel a little sorry for him in the manga and anime. He is sort of sweet. It makes my heart flutter in happiness that you and everyone else read. Thanks again!
PixieFrog: I have been trying to make the chapters longer, but sometimes the natural breaks make it hard. Thank you though for your wonderful review! I'm really hoping not to drag it out too long, but I do have many plans and ideas for the characters (D: and some are pretty dramatic!). I just pray it's good enough that you continue to read and review!
A Dangerous Notion: I could never remember their names either…I actually had to go back and re-read the manga just to find them. Buruko and Todo aren't major characters, but I thought using names was better then just saying 'the manly blond one and the fat one'. XD
I'm slightly disappointed with myself that you didn't like the confrontation with Someya. I will strive to do better and hopefully things will get clearer as more of Kanou's turmoil is reveled. I didn't really think he'd be thinking clearly at that moment. This isn't one of those times where Ayase is just kidnapped and Kanou gets to burst in and play hero. I do have a chapter planned where Kanou really has one of those emotional moments though, so don't worry. I hope that will live up to your expectations! I aim to please the fans! (Especially since it's the only gratification I get since I'm not being paid…XD)
And don't fear, I have a scene planned already where Kanou realizes how much of jerk he is. I'm not so sure about the manly lone tear…but I'll see what I can do. ;)
See1like:-sighs and bows apologetically- You are so right about Someya. As you can tell, I changed it. I debated it and figured if I got one comment about it, I'd change it. I'm sorry for any offense I caused.
Other then that, thank you for the review and for continuing reading my story!