Eponine knew that eventually Enjolras would have to know the truth. But until that moment, she was pushing him out of her mind. No attempts at contact, no thinking about him and certainly no reminiscing. Because reminiscing meant missing someone.
And she knew she shouldn't miss someone when they didn't miss her.
Eponine stirred her milk. Cosette had cut off all supply of coffee to keep the baby as healthy as possible which left Eponine with little to no energy. She was exhausted, cranky and man, did her boobs hurt. The nights were unbearable as her back ached from walking, her ankles throbbing and swollen. Every part of her seemed to be in pain and she wasn't even through with her first trimester yet. She groaned outwardly into the empty apartment.
Everyone else seemed to always be out. The building seemed far too quiet and Eponine began to loathe being alone. The building felt so small and cold and Eponine would have to find some way to distract herself, whatever the cost. She would walk block upon New York block until she became lost. Being alone meant being faced with the facts of her error: She was pregnant. Her child would grow up with a dad. And Eponine wasn't any less of a child then she small little girl growing inside her stomach was.
Eponine took a sip of her milk and dumped the rest down the kitchen sink, the white liquid leaving a stain on the metal as it slipped down the drain. Sunlight beamed through the thin, cheap curtains that Cosette had made several weeks ago and Eponine had a sudden urge to leave. To leave the small apartment and the cheap curtains and whatever else seemed to be holding her back. And it seemed that all that was holding her back was Enjolras. And she knew what she needed to do.
Before she could sit herself down and even make a meager attempt to talk some common sense into herself, she was racing out of the building. The cool mid-Winter wind nipped at her skin as she walked farther from the building. New York didn't seem quite as big as it had, but today, there was something about the city. The buildings seemed warped and frail. And Eponine thought she had a solution to make everything seem the slightest bit normal in her own head, even if it meant turning another person's world upside down.
She was at the old building in a matter of minutes. When she zoned out, her legs still found a way back to the old apartment and there she stood. Of course, Dom the Doorman let her in and she slipped inside unnoticed, pressing the floor number. Of course, it was only 9:00. Enjolras was probably still asleep. Saturdays were his days off. She considered hitting the lobby button the second the door opened up to the 16th floor, but it was too late to have second thoughts.
And so, she walked slowly towards the old apartment and it seemed... changed. Maybe a bit colder in her mind, but maybe to Enjolras, the new flowers added something that Eponine hadn't brought. And maybe it made him happier.
Maybe something as simple as door flowers had been what Enjolras had seen in Shannon in the first place.
But now, Eponine held her hand to the door. And with two swift movements, almost like ripping a bandage off a nearly healed scab, Eponine rapped her fist on the door.