Silver Words

by EchoFallsFromGrace

Foxxay Hunger Games AU. Three parts.

3. Chapter 3

Part I

Part II

Rated M

Headcanoned and beta-ed with graceonce

Word Count:

It was dark in the underbelly of the stage, but she didn't mind the darkness, as her eyes had so easily gotten used to the eternal twilight that the arena had been. Far off, Billie Dean Howard's voice was soft, faint even, garbled, and it was already grating on her fragile nerves, and all she wanted to do was curl up in a ball and never see the light of day ever again. She lowered herself until her chin was against her knees and tucked herself into her own body, closing her eyes and trying her hardest to keep noises out through her curtain of wild hair.

She felt a tug on her elbows and she raised her head, ready to snap, when she looked straight into mismatched eyes. She breathed out.

"Delia."

The older blonde nodded softly, settling down on her knees in front of Misty, and took the younger girl's hands in hers, resting her cheek on scraped knuckles. "You really shouldn't hit things."

Misty let out a noise that sounded like a whimper and leaned forward to rest her forehead on a sharp collarbone. The president's daughter moved to rest her back on the wall, and taking the hint, Misty crawled closer to cling onto her, her nails digging into ivory skin.

They sat for what seemed like eternity, but it was too short, and Cordelia shifted to whisper in her ear. "Don't ever let them think they've broken you."

Misty nodded as best as she could. The older blonde began to stand, but she tugged her back down. "No, no don't go."

"I have to, mother's waiting for me, and you have to go do the post game interview."

"But-"

"I know, I know it's short but I'll be at your door tonight, okay?" Cordelia tucked a stray strand of hair behind Misty's ear and gave her a broken smile. "You've waited this long to see me again, can you wait a little longer?"

The wild blonde shook her head no and watched as tears sprung to the first daughter's eyes.

"I've missed you, Misty."

The victor swallowed heavily.

Cordelia was about to pull away but she faltered, her mismatched eyes looking deep into Misty's blue-green ones. She took a broken breath and leaned in, her lips brushing with the wild blonde's, hovering, but she pulled away, not daring to go farther.

She squeezed the girl's hands one more time, stood, and turned heel, disappearing into the dark.

OOOoooOOO

"Misty Day, victor of the 86th Hunger Games!"

The blonde was acclaimed with wild applause and she winced as the spotlights turned onto her, blinding her. A smile fought to stay on her face as she waved, even though all she wanted to do was run. A hand landed on her wrist and she pushed the stray thought of attack out of her mind as she let her blue-green eyes rake up the arm and into Billie Dean's face.

"Sit Misty, sit."

She did as she was told, robotic as she gazed over the crowds, up in their seats and hollering her name. Above her, Fiona Goode watched with a critical eye, mismatched eyes shining besides her. Behind the stage, shots of the Games played on the screens, the greatest moments.

"What a win." Billie began, tapping her shoulder. "My god, all the moves you pulled out there, I'm sure Madison was glad she didn't have to meet you on the battlefield after all!"

Misty turned to watch her but bit her tongue, keeping her lashes to herself as she began to rub at the skin on the inside of her wrist.

The platinum blonde grinned at the cameras. "Now, we're going to be passing the hightlights reel, from the parade to the first minutes of the game, to your brightest plays. With, of course, your delightful commentaries at the end. This is a moment to celebrate, tell us all you can, I invite you to."

The crowd fell into a hushed, reverent, silence as the tape began, blasted onto three different screens as the lights shut off. Misty found it hard to watch, but found it even harder to tear her gaze away from a smiling David, a bashful Zoe, as they let the black steeds tour them to the president's box.

Shots of the training sessions came next, sessions she hadn't known were taped as she watched herself converse with a slightly hazy Madison, tittering in her boots as Kyle shot arrows behind her. The small smile on the dirty blonde's face made Misty's stomach turn.

There she was again, Madison, darting into the shadows without a look over her shoulder as the canon rung out and the Games began, the countdown disappearing in a million pixels over the tributes. It was there she'd run and Misty saw herself on the same spot merely five seconds later grabbing at Kyle, five seconds too late.

She tuned out with some difficulty, the back of her throat tasting acidic, and only came back when a wail broke out in the room. She whipped her head up and stared as Nan held Luke's mangled body, as a canon rung out above him. He'd been eaten by something with sharp teeth, the both of them sitting in water knee high. A dark shadow slithered past them in the tide, blood coating its scales.

The video fast forwarded almost comically, and the crowd and Misty watched as the body was taken away by the Capitol and as Nan sat in the swamp, looking down at her hands. And though the time on the bottom left of the screen ran and ran and ran, she stayed still, until hunger took over and she fell sideways, the video pausing as the canon clacked above.

Misty turned her face away when Zoe was found and as Bastien was electrocuted and she gritted her teeth as Queenie's screams rung out. She was glad the cameras weren't turned on her, waiting for her reaction, because she'd curled up on herself in the chair besides Billie Dean, the host too enamored with the video to pay attention to her as she bit the side of her wrist and fought off her own screams. Her hands were against her temples, covering her ears as Kyle thrashed on screen, as she killed him, as she received her first parachute.

Madison's death was basic, rudimentary. Sad, almost, and Misty watched despite her heart hammering, wanting to know exactly how the girl had gone. The crowds watched as the dirty blonde advanced silently through deep waters in an abandoned building, her head darting this way and that as she watched her surroundings for the last tribute in her way of winning. Misty couldn't have been sure, but she thought she could see the girl mouth her name rapidly, her chest flushed as she fought off a panic attack that the wild blonde knew she'd been having at the same time. The shadows were too long.

The District One tribute yelped as a cable fell in front of her, sparking, and she stumbled back, tripping and falling into the water, and she struggled to stand. And suddenly, the building broke around her, a beam falling first before the rest of the foundation, hitting her square on the head before the video cut out.

The lights suddenly came back on, and Misty fought off her terror, blinking wildly. Billie Dean turned to face her, the hour and a half of horror seemingly lost on her as she grinned.

"So Misty, you seemed, from your reaction, to know who those life saving parachutes were from. Would you let us in on the secret?"

OOOoooOOO

"Misty."

The wild blonde turned breathlessly at the voice, a strangled gasp caught in the back of her throat as she dropped the hand she'd been biting at to her side. Her fingernails were raw.

The first daughter watched her from where she was, standing in the doorway, her hand around the doorknob. She hesitated as she let her eyes rake over the girl, halfway inside, halfway outside, not exactly sure of what to do. She repeated the victor's name silently, her lips moving and Misty was sure her knees would buckle and she'd fall if someone didn't catch her. With a look of resolution passing in her mismatched eyes, Cordelia closed the door behind herself, back flush against it.

"Mist."

"Y-Yeah."

Cordelia visibly softened as Misty struggled to get her words. "You're talking." She paused, stammering over her own thoughts. "Myrtle said, Myrtle said you'd been a little-"

"-Unresponsive?" Misty laughed lightly, a tone of bitterness in the echoes. Sadness. The president's daughter nodded quickly and walked up to the victor, staring up at her. Even with heels she was shorter than the younger blonde.

"Are you okay? I know the post-game interviews can be...harsh."

Misty titled her head to the side, but didn't answer as Cordelia's fingers came to graze up her arms, her blue-green eyes watching her with a hint of wariness.

Cordelia noticed. "I'm not going to hurt you."

"Aren't ya?"

The first daughter breathed out through her nose forcefully. "No. No, I-" She closed her eyes. "I adore you, Misty Day."

"Is that why ya saved me?"

The older blonde's eyes opened and she looked up and up into the victor's face. "You're angry with me."

"Everyone's dead."

Cordelia let her gaze slip away as her arms tightened around Misty's waist. "If you hadn't come back, twenty-four would still have died." She breathed in, trying hard not to stutter. "I thought, I thought I was doing the right thing. Maybe I was just being selfish."

The victor let out a little indescribable noise.

"You'll never forgive me for this, will you."

Misty mulled over her words, her arms limp at her sides. "I, if you'd tried to save me, before the others, ah, died-" She paused at the word. "I would have been angry, then. I wouldn't have forgiven ya." Mismatched eyes peeked up at her as the wild blonde passed a hand through her unruly curls. "But David's gone and Kyle's rottin' somewhere."

"I'm so sorry."

"Ya know, everyone is." Misty said. "But you're the first who's meant it."

Cordelia's forehead landed on her collarbone and her fingernails dug into Misty's supple back. "Please forgive me. I didn't want this to happen."

"The Games happen every year."

"Not that."

"Then what?" Misty bent down to gaze into Cordelia's face, question in her eyes and on her tongue.

The older blonde shook her head, tears in the corners of her eyes. "I love you, Misty Day. And I didn't want this to happen. I let myself get carried away and out of jealousy and hate, I wasn't able to save your friends."

"Delia-"

"Oh god, the nickname." Cordelia laughed bitterly into the girl's skin. "Please don't. I'm one of those souls that deserves Hell, for what's it worth. It wouldn't be enough. I could never explain why I did what I did. I'm just a selfish bitch and I deserve to be thrown to the lions as much as anyone else here. I thought I was different, I guess I'm not."

"Delia."

"Goddamn it, Misty Day!" The first daughter pushed the victor away. "Why aren't you screaming? Why aren't you throwing things at me or slapping me or shutting me out?" She fell into a chair, her hands in her lap. "I can hate myself for the both of us, but I'd rather you hate me a bit too."

"I don't hate ya."

"Misty."

"I don't. And please stop bein' hysterical. I ain't your ma, I'm not gonna get physical with ya, even if that is what you're used to, even if that is what ya want." The victor looked down at her. "But ya are selfish, if that means anythin'." Cordelia brought her closer by the hem of her shirt and rested her forehead on a taut stomach. "For actin' like this is all your fault. It ain't. Ya did what any other human being would do."

"You'd have done the same thing?"

"No."

Mismatched eyes closed as Cordelia laughed against her.

"Do ya-" Misty paused, biting at her lower lip.

The older blonde gazed up, worry in her features. "What? Do I what?"

"Nevermind."

"Misty."

Blue-green eyes closed and Misty's hands came to rest in Cordelia's hair. "It's all a daze, Delia. I mean, you're here and you're whinin' and somehow still makin' it all about ya and that's almost too real for me. I feel like I'm in a dream and I'll wake up tomorrow and find somethin' stickin' out my chest as I lay dyin'." Cordelia stood, her arms closing around Misty's neck, and the victor pulled her in. "I need ya to hold me. I need to know this is real."

"Okay. Okay." Cordelia nodded against her, and began tugging on her. "Come on."

She led the victor to her bedroom and helped her undress, Misty's fingers useless against her fastenings as she fought to keep herself relatively contained. She watched Cordelia push her hands away and take care of the shirt herself, and watched it flutter to the ground behind them. Her pants went next, and she stood in her underwear, shivering, in front of the first daughter.

She was pushed onto the bed by the older blonde, and she laid back on pillows until Cordelia pulled her down halfway on the mattress, climbing in behind her. She rested her chin on a strong shoulder and wrapped her arms around the victor's waist, pulling her in close to herself, and reached down to grab at the sheets, covering both herself and Misty with them.

She pressed a small kiss to the wild blonde's burning skin, and paused as Misty's hands found hers and tightened her hold on her.

It was a long time before Misty spoke, fatigue in her voice as her eyes closed, serenaded by the woman's heartbeat reverberating through her back and her soft breath against her ear.

"Delia."

"Yeah."

"I love ya too."

OOOoooOOO

"Where is Misty Day?"

"She's resting, mother."

"Why are you in her quarters, anyway?"

The conversation became muffled and Misty found herself rising out of bed and crossing to the door, laying her ear to the cool metal.

"She won without honor." Came the hiss of Fiona's voice.

"Don't blame her." Cordelia snapped back. "Blame the gamemaker that stole Madison from her glorious death. You asked them to end it, and it was his idea to send that building crumbling. He stole you from a good show. Not Misty. Not Madison. Him."

"Him who."

"You know who."

"Hank."

Misty could almost hear the relief in the younger blonde's voice. "He's undermining you mother, can't you see? He only wants to marry me to take over once you're gone, run out. He doesn't care about me."

"I have to get rid of him."

Cordelia didn't answer.

OOOoooOOO

"He's gone, Mist."

"What?"

"Hank. He won't bother us anymore." Cordelia kissed her cheek, and Misty suddenly understood.

In some way or another, Hank Foxx wasn't around anymore.

OOOoooOOO

"You need to eat."

Misty glanced up at Cordelia before she pushed her plate away, her head burrowed in her arms as she slumped over the dinner table. "I'm not hungry."

"Misty, it's been almost four days and I swear I've only seen you eat a sandwich ." The older blonde closed her eyes. "I'm tired of hearing that answer from you."

"I don't really care."

"Misty, if you don't eat, mother'll notice."

"And? Who cares if she notices."

"She'll have you physically enhanced for your interviews if she can see your ribs and your hips like I can. I won't have that."

"I just told ya, I'm not hungry. Ya can't force me to eat if I don't feel like it."
Cordelia's hands closed around the chair before her, knuckles turning white.

"And if ya don't like seein' my fuckin' bones, then let her enhance me. Like I fuckin' care."

"Misty Day, look at me."

The victor sighed, annoyed, but looked up anyway, fire in her blue-green eyes.

"Enhancement isn't healing." Cordelia said softly. She laid her hand on Misty's gingerly, almost hesitating. "Believe me."

Misty stood abruptly, knocking her chair back, and the president's daughter jumped slightly, blinking rapidly. "Like ya fuckin' know what it's like to be starved out for days on end. I don't fuckin' deserve this life of luxury, not after all this. Not after what happened. Not again." She snarled. She wrenched her hand away from Cordelia's and took a step back, looking like a caged animal. "I'm not hungry. Leave it alone."

"Sit your goddamned ass down, Misty."

The wild blonde's head snapped up, her attention now completely Cordelia's, and she faltered as she paused to listen, but she didn't reach for the chair that'd fallen.

"You listen to me. Enhancements only make you look healthy." The older blonde began, her voice rising. "They put in pads between your ribs and against your spine and behind every single one of your bones but those go away as you keep starving yourself, because that's the only way to make a difference in your voyage to suicide without anyone too close noticing and asking questions, because they can't have that." She rounded the table and pushed Misty back, the flat of her hand against a bony chest. "They feel like extra shit like makeup and dresses and they only throw you back into the operation room once your eyes get sunken again, and they restart the whole process as you wither away. They hide that you're dying. They hide it to themselves. They hide it because the whole country is watching and you should be happy that 'your soulmate lived through the Games and that you're getting married'-" Cordelia suddenly cut off, and she looked away, tears beginning to form in her mismatched eyes.

Misty's voice was accusatory, yet somehow soft. "Why do ya sound like ya know what you're talking about."

"I won't have you die on me, Misty."

The wild blonde narrowed her eyes at her, but said nothing as she grabbed at the chair and righted it angrily, sitting herself down into it. With her eyes locked on Cordelia's, she grabbed at a fork and stabbed it into the plate she'd been given.

OOOoooOOO

Misty watched Cordelia worry her bottom lip, watched her tongue swipe out and lick at the blood that'd collected and broke through the skin, and she tightened her hold on her hand in the bed sheets. "I wish you'd come closer."

"Keep wishing." The first daughter replied quietly, squeezing her fingers back into Misty's. She turned to look the younger girl over, her mismatched eyes pausing at every rib that showed. "You're bruising too easily right now. I don't want to hurt you."

"I've gained weight, Delia."

Cordelia ignored the whine in the victor's voice. "Not enough."

"How long did ya wait before ya let someone touch ya."

The older blonde grimaced and pulled away.

"Ya can't expect me not to ask." Misty said quietly.

Cordelia's mismatched eyes glazed over as she turned her head to look at the ceiling. "I don't know how long I was sick for."

"Ya don't know, or ya don't want to remember?"

The president's daughter didn't answer, and she chose to close her eyes instead. Misty found her hand again and she turned into Cordelia, her body inches away.

Cordelia's jaw was tight. "I watched you throw your lunch away."

Misty sighed heavily and buried herself into her pillow, her grip lessening. "I'm sorry."

"No, you're not." The older blonde replied quietly. "I watched you look around to make sure you were alone."

"Apparently I wasn't." Misty said. "Goddamn, you've got eyes everywhere."

"Why would you lie to me?"

Misty closed her eyes as Cordelia opened hers to look at her, waiting for an answer.

"I don't want to hurt ya."

"Lying does that, you know, especially for something as serious as an eating,-" Cordelia trailed off, letting the last, unsaid word hang there. "You can't lie in a relationship."

Misty let out a soft mewl, somehow drifting closer to the older blonde, her hand finding the woman's opposite hip.

Cordelia glanced down at her, her fingers closing around Misty's. "What? What is it?"

"Ya said relationship."

"Oh." The first daughter paused. "Yeah, I did."

"I don't see why."

"What do you mean?"

Misty let go of her and turned around, curling up on herself. "I don't see why." She repeated, harsher this time. "I'm a fuck up."

"Don't."

"It's true. I can't even get rid of this fuckin' disease, or whatever it is, whatever ya want to call it." She curled up farther, her spine arching out, every vertebrae showing. Cordelia winced as she watched them clink against each other.

The older blonde sighed softly. "Misty...It's a process, okay? I can't expect you to shrug it off quickly and easily. You can't expect it to be a breeze either." She let her head hang. "Please don't cry."

"I'm not cryin'."

"You're terrible at lying. And even then, your shoulders are shaking."

"I just,-" Misty paused. "I won the fuckin' Games and I should be livin' like the fuckin' queen of Panem and I can't even do that. All the other winners could but I can't. I won't ever be able to." She turned to gaze at Cordelia, her blue-green eyes swimming in tears. "I can't get their faces out of my head, out of my dreams. I eat and all I taste is ash. All I taste is their blood running through my fingers."

The victor's eyes closed. "My bones could cut glass and ya can't even look at me right anymore. I'm watchin' your face fall as I'm sayin' it and you can't even bring yourself to cut me off. The last time ya touched me, it was before the Games. Ya barely kiss me, and when ya do, you're hesitant. I miss ya."

Cordelia lowered herself down her pillow and placed an open mouthed kiss to the girl's shoulder, tears falling down her own cheeks. "I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry. I'm just so afraid of breaking you. You're so fragile."

"Fragile."

"You need to heal, Misty, first and foremost. And I can't bring myself to break that cycle of healing. You need to stop lying to me, you need to let me help you."

"I want to get better."

"Prove it to me, Misty. I beg you. I want you, I need you to be healthy again. Please."

OOOoooOOO

"Delia."

The president's daughter's head snapped up in the dark and she gazed down at Misty. "What is it? What's wrong?"

"I don't feel too good."

"What do you mean?"

Misty looked up at her from beneath the covers, blue-green eyes swimming. "I don't feel too good." She repeated, queasy.

"In what way?" Cordelia urged. The victor shook her head, unable to answer as she grimaced deeply.

She suddenly threw the covers off her body and scrambled over the bed, running for the bathroom. The older blonde followed her as best as possible, tripping as she hit the floor, and froze as she heard the girl vomit. She hadn't even bothered to turn on the lights.

"Mist?"

"Oh god."

Cordelia managed to find her way to the bathroom and she flipped the lights on, finding Misty with her head in the bathtub, curled up at the edge.

"I'm so sorry."

"Hey, no." The older blonde shushed her as she took her curls and fixed them into a ponytail with a hair tie she found on the counters. "There's nothing to apologize for." She turned her face away as Misty retched again, coughing.

The wild blonde's voice was hoarse. "I can't keep it down."

"It's alright."

Misty opened her mouth again to speak but she decided against it as she gagged, swallowing heavily seconds later.

"I'll fetch you a glass of water."

Misty grabbed at her blindly, her grip around Cordelia's wrist tight. "Don't go."

"Okay. Okay I won't." The older blonde sat down besides the victor and wrapped her arms around her waist as the other let her forehead fall to the edge of the white bathtub. "Breathe."

"I feel like if I do I'm just gonna hurl again." Misty whispered back. A shiver ran down her back and Cordelia tightened her grip on her. She coughed once, twice, and vomited again, water about the only thing coming out now. Cordelia passed her hand over her back in soothing circles, whispering in her ear.

"Get it out. That's it."

"It tastes horrible."

"I know."

Misty wiped at her mouth with the back of her hand and leaned heavily into Cordelia, her blue-green eyes closed. The first daughter pressed a kiss into her unruly curls and rested her chin on her head.

The wild blonde sighed, almost annoyed, and buried back deeper into the older woman. "That was dinner. And lunch."

"It happens, Mist."

"Too often." She paused. "I'll take that glass now. I think I'm done."

Cordelia nodded and stood, pulling Misty up with her. She took her hand and pulled her to the kitchen, sitting her down on one of the barstools, and watched with a small frown as Misty groaned and lolled forward onto the counter, fingers splayed against the marble. She filled up the first mug she found with water and passed it to the wild blonde who stared at it with blurry eyes for a few seconds before picking it up.

She drank from it greedily, not caring that it dribbled down her chin and Cordelia rounded the corner and took a napkin to her mouth, wiping easily. "Better?"

"I guess." Misty found her hand and intertwined their fingers. "Sorry."

"Don't be. Ever." Cordelia tugged on her again and led her to the couch, the victor curling up against her chest when she opened her arms to her. "We'll just stay here, okay? Just breathe and if you feel sick you say so. The sink isn't far."

The wild blonde shook her head against her. "I just don't get it."

"I don't think you're supposed to."

"It's not like I've been eatin' so much there's nothin' else to do but throw it up. Ya watch what I eat."

The first daughter pulled her closer, heart aching.

OOOoooOOO

Cordelia stood behind Misty, her chin hovering above her shoulder as she gazed down at the scale the wild blonde stood on. She smiled lightly and placed a kiss to a bare shoulder, her arms coming around to encircle a strong waist. "That's a good number."

Misty found her eyes in the mirror and she blushed slightly. "Ya think?"

"There's room for improvement, but I like it." Cordelia said softly. "I'm proud of you."

The wild blonde turned in her arms. "Ya mean it?"

"If I didn't, I wouldn't have said it." The older woman leant up and kissed her lightly on the cheek, by the corner of her lips. She went to pull away but Misty tugged her back in, kissing her deeply, nipping at a plump bottom lip. The first daughter breathed out against her. "Misty-"

"Please. Delia, please."

"I can count your ribs underneath my fingertips."

"I've got more flesh there, ya have to admit it." Misty kissed her again. "Anyway, I can do the same with ya." She bit down Cordelia's neck as her fingers traveled down a thin shirt. "One, two, three-"

"Stop-" The older blonde struggled in her grip, giggling lightly. "I'm ticklish."

Misty grinned at her, her hands returning to Cordelia's neck.

The president's daughter blinked lazily. "This is the first time I've seen you smile in a long, long time, Mist."

"Ya like it?"

"I love it." Cordelia stood up on her tiptoes and wrapped her arms around the girl's neck. "I'm very, very proud of you."

Misty's own arms wrapped around her waist and she lifted the woman up slightly to kiss her, not answering her. Their embraces deepened and Cordelia wriggled out of the blonde's grip, holding her at arm's length.

Her voice held a tone of warning. "Misty-"

Misty smirked, mimicking the older woman. "Delia."

"I mean it."

"I do too." Misty pulled her in again and bit at an errant earlobe. She let out a little growl and Delia laughed. "I can swear to ya, my hips are barely there. I've eaten so much fuckin' proteins I'm surprised I still float in the bathtub." She paused to grin. "Maybe I should prove it to ya."

"Shameful."

The wild blonde bent down to whisper in her ear. "I really, really want ya."

Cordelia shivered in her arms. "I don't-"

"-Want to hurt ya. I know. I've heard that one before. You won't hurt me. I promise."

The older woman bit at her lip worryingly and Misty bent her knees to look up into Cordelia's mismatched eyes, her hands anchoring in blonde strands. "Are ya gonna trust me?"

"You want me to, don't you."

"It's part of a relationship."

"Using my words against me. Nice." Cordelia teased. She leaned in and kissed her lightly, pausing between breaths to go in for another, deeper one.

"I try." Misty said against her lips, laughing.

OOOoooOOO

"Misty?"

"Oh dear god."

Cordelia turned her head to follow the voice, but didn't have too look far as Misty barreled into her, slamming her back against the door, her ear to the older blonde's chest despite their obvious height difference.

"Misty?"

"I've missed ya."

The first daughter passed her hand through unruly curls. "I missed you too. I'm sorry I had to go, but Fiona couldn't make it and I had to go instead. And District Twelve is far."

"I know. I know." Misty whispered against her.

The older blonde kissed the skin above her ear and Misty moved to stand up tall, towering inches above Cordelia. She raised her hands up to place them on either side of the president's daughter's head and bent down to steal a kiss, her tongue moving languidly against the older woman's.
Cordelia let her hands wander over the girl's back, up and under her shirt, fingering protruding bones. "Did you weigh yourself this morning?"

There was a groan. "Delia."

"I want to know."

"No. I didn't."

"And yesterday?"

"I didn't go near that thing all weekend."

"How am I supposed to know if you're doing better? Get in there."

Cordelia pushed the girl back after nipping at her lip. Misty narrowed her eyes at her but moved to the bathroom anyway, grabbing at her sweater and dropping it on the floor, standing in her bra. Cordelia picked the garment up and folded it quickly before throwing it on the marble countertop. "Come on."

Misty's blue-green eyes were hard as the older blonde watched her step onto the scale. She folded her arms across her chest as the numbers flashed up, and she sighed audibly.

Cordelia cocked her head to the side, a small frown on her face. "Did you eat enough while I was gone? You lost almost three pounds while I was away."

"I swear to ya I ate. I guess I just hit a little roadblock. It happens, right?"

Cordelia nodded slowly.

"That's that then." Misty leaned down and kissed her cheek, hand reaching back behind the older blonde to grab at her sweater.

"Yeah."

The wild blonde patted her waist comfortingly and moved past her and into the main area of their appartement. Cordelia followed her out, her mismatched eyes narrowed in on the younger woman. She crossed to the kitchen and easily glanced down into the trashcan, finding nothing there. Her hand found the telephone on the island, and she dialed the cuisine down in the basement of the building.

"Kitchens."

"Pietre, hi."

"Miss Goode. How may I help you?"

Cordelia bit her lower lip as she watched Misty cross from the living room to their bedroom. "This is going to sound silly, but what meals were brought up this weekend?"

He sounded puzzled, but only took a second to answer. "Ah, none at all, Miss Goode. You were out this weekend."

"Thank you."

"You are quite welcome."

She put the receiver down as gently as she could despite the rage coursing through her veins. She padded to the bedroom, arms crossed over her chest, and paused to lean into the doorway, mismatched eyes on the wild blonde as she moved around aimlessly.

"Who were ya callin'?"

"Pietre." Cordelia anwered. "And you'll never guess what he told me."

Misty looked up, wide eyed and alarmed. "Fuck."

"Fuck indeed."

The wild blonde pressed her back to the wall and moved slowly, trying to pass by the woman and into the bathroom. "Ya know, I-"

"You lied to me."

"I wouldn't say lie,-" Misty laughed lightly, but there was no joy in her eyes. "Omittin' the truth, maybe."

"You swore to me that you ate, Misty."

"Did I?"

She winced as Cordelia hit the wall forcefully with the palm of her hand. The older blonde paused, cracking her knuckles as she flexed her fingers, and turned on her heel and walked away, back rod straight.

Misty's eyes followed her in disbelief, waiting for something much bigger but receiving nothing but cold silence. She followed her pitifully, head ducked down.

"Delia-"

"I won't have you lie to me, Misty."

"I'm sorry, I just, I didn't feel like it and I swear I ate an energy bar or whatever that shit is called but I couldn't keep it down." The wild blonde tried. "I threw it up everywhere and it was a mess in here."

Cordelia suddenly rounded on her. "What pisses me off is that you could have been honest with me and I wouldn't have been angry. But no, you go and lie. It's called communication. Find a fucking dictionary. Fuck you."

Misty paused, her muscles freezing. The older blonde never cursed at her. She shifted her weight from one foot to the other, unsure of what to do, or say. She reached out to lay her hand on Cordlelia's shoulder, but a well placed look from the first daughter stopped her halfway, her fingers in the air.

"You could have told me."

"I'm sorry. I," Misty stopped long enough to close her blue-green eyes. "I didn't want to worry ya."

"Well, you did."

The victor looked away. "There's nothin' I can do, is there."

"The fridge is that way." Cordelia said, still turned away, fingers itching to find something to do. She chewed on her bottom lip. "I've decided on something."

Misty glanced sideways at her, her voice full of shame. "What's that."

"You're not leaving my side anymore."

"Delia-"

"No. You're going everywhere I go now. I'm not leaving you alone anymore." The older blonde insisted. "I'm not losing you, do you hear me? I'm not losing you. Not again."

OOOoooOOO

"Where are ya goin'? Don't go-"

Cordelia paused and turned to place a small kiss on Misty's forehead. "I'll be gone an hour, one little hour, it's not long, don't worry."

"You're gonna leave me here like this? All bloated and shit?"

"It's not like I'm afraid you're gonna go anywhere." The older blonde teased, massaging a tender wrist affectionately. "I told you this is normal."

"Doesn't mean I like it. What if somethin' happens? What if I burst?"

"Burst."

"Yeah. Like a melon."

Cordelia grimaced, but didn't answer.

"Delia."

"It's an important meeting. I have to."

"Ya can't leave me here like this."

"You're not going to explode. It's water retention, I've told you a hundred times. Look it up while you're stuck in bed." Cordelia leant down and kissed her gently. "One hour. I swear."

Misty began whining again, little yelps escaping her mouth as she scrambled to keep the first daughter at her side. She winced as she sat up and fell back on her pillow, defeated, dejected. Cordelia pressed another kiss to her temple, lingering there before she walked away, throwing one last look over her shoulder, a small wave given to the girl.

The wild blonde slumped into the bed, eyes on her swollen wrists and distanded stomach. It hurt, in a residual, stiff way. She could move but it felt awkward to, it didn't feel right. Cordelia'd explained a dozen times that it was her body getting used to eating normally again, her metabolism just doing its job, that swelling was healing, but she didn't like it. For two weeks, her muscles had felt like putty, but now they just felt nonexistent.

Cordelia'd thrown the scale deep into the closet as soon as Misty'd started telltale signs of swelling, unwilling to scare the victor with the sudden and wild weight intakes. And as soon as she'd started her edema, the president's daughter had demanded bed rest from her and stored a large handful of snacks in the nightstands, begging Misty to eat whenever she felt weak. She'd promised it would end. Misty was waiting impatiently.
She dozed off easily, her aching muscles lulling her to sleep with each heartbeat.

When she awoke, Cordelia was hovering above her, eyes on her swollen neck, fingers against her ribs.

"Hey."

The older blonde's mismatched eyes ran up to her face and she smiled softly. "Hey. Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you."

"It's okay." Misty shifted beneath her and raised herself up as Cordelia sat down over her, straddling her waist. "How'd the meetin' go?"

"You really want to know?"

"What's that mean."

Cordelia sighed and ran a hand through the victor's hair. "Fiona wants an interview. A 'three months later' special."

"Oh no. No. Anything but Billie."

"This is, this is kind of an opportunity, Mist. You and I can, you know, come out."

"How is that an opportunity? Your mother hates me."

"If you come out as my, if we say we're in a relationship, she can't touch you anymore." The older blonde urged. "She'd never touch a victor."

"She touched Hank, didn't she."

Cordelia scowled. "Only because he threatened her position. You wouldn't."

"I wouldn't dream of it."

"There you go."

Misty sighed and looked away. After a moment, she spoke, mumbling. "I don't really have a choice, do I."

"Not really. Billie was very insistent."

"She would be." The wild blonde paused. "What color was she today."

"Lime green."

"Oh god."

Cordelia laughed and kissed her softly.

"When's this gonna be?"

"We've got two weeks."

"Will I be-?"

"You'll look fine by then, yes."

Misty nodded and leaned up and pecked her lips. She groaned. "I'd go so much farther if I didn't look like a balloon."

"You're a very good looking balloon. I promise you." Cordelia bit at her lip. "We could go a step further, you know."

The wild blonde glanced up. "A step further for what."

"From coming out."

Misty narrowed her eyes. "Explain."

The first daughter took a small breath. "Would you...Misty, will you marry me?"

OOOoooOOO

"You are what?"

Misty watched, wide-eyed, as Billie Dean Howard raised herself up in her seat, mouth open as she stared at her and Cordelia. Besides her, the president's daughter shifted in her seat, the cameras turned on her.

"We, ah, are together. Engaged."

Billie squealed. "I was wondering why you came up on the platform with our victor. This is so exciting!" Misty grimaced.

The colorful blonde winked at Cordelia, at the crowds, the cameras. "If you've just tuned in, Cordelia Goode has just announced her engagement to Misty Day, victor of the 86th Hunger Games." She turned to Cordelia, grinning slyly. "First Hank, now Misty. You must have a thing for victors."

The first daughter's face fell and she moved to stand, knuckles white, but Misty's hand on her wrist stopped her. A quick word in her ear made her pause and she settled back in her chair, but her muscles were still tense.

Billie grasped for something else to say. "It's only been three months since you won and came back from the arena. How were you sure she was, is, the one, Miss Day?"

Misty stared back, but chose not to answer directly as she felt Cordelia's mismatched eyes on her. "How long did ya think I'd need?"

"I, Miss Day?"

"How long, Billie?"

The older blonde laughed lightly, nervously, and she turned to the cameras. "I'm not married, what do I know! A few years? A few dozen?"

The crowd laughed along with her as Cordelia accorded herself an eye roll, hidden behind her hand. "When can we await the happy day then, Miss Goode?"

Cordelia righted herself. "When would you want it to be?" Next to her, Misty stifled a laugh.

Billie's face fell. "I, I don't think I'd have a hand in this."

"Why wouldn't you? Why shouldn't you?" The wild blonde pressed.

The reporter glanced at the cameras and held her hand up, mimicking for them to shut down.

OOOoooOOO

"Engaged?" Fiona roared.

"We were going to tell you but-"

The alluring blonde threw her glass at the wall and Cordelia watched it shatter, her mismatched eyes closing moments later. "But what, Delia?"

"Billie's pretty forceful."

"No one rang you, missy." Fiona snapped, stabbing a finger at Misty. "I'd keep my mouth shut if I were you." The wild blonde sneered at her, but didn't have anything to add. "I'm going to have to do crowd control."

"For what? I wouldn't expect you to have a mob on your hands." The first daughter scowled.

"You know nothing."

OOOoooOOO

"I think your mother took it well."

Cordelia tried to grimace, but she couldn't as she leaned in for a kiss.

OOOoooOOO
"Ya can't ask me to do this. Ya can't ask me to face those men and women, friends of the fallen, and smile and wave and tell them their sacrifice was not in vain. Because it fuckin' was." Misty snapped, rounding the table to stare the older blonde down. She pushed the woman back with the palm of her hand. "What do ya think would have happened if I hadn't gotten separated from Madison in the first few minutes? She wouldn't have been hit by that fallin' beam, would she? Nan and Luke wouldn't have died if I'd been there to hunt for them, he wouldn't have been eaten by a fuckin' flyin' fish. Kyle and David wouldn't have-" She paused, her voice breaking. She looked away and took in a deep breath before turning back to Cordelia, eyes blazing. "Ya can't ask me to stand in front of their families and grin and walk away."

Tears sprung to Cordelia's eyes. "I don't want to ask you to, I would never and you know that. Having to tell you this makes my heart ache and I want to throw up and never come out of the dark."

Misty turned away. "Ya knew this would happen. This happened with Hank and ya knew it would happen with me when ya asked me to marry ya."

"It's not common, it's never happened. It was Hank's idea the first time around and mother is taking revenge. I begged her, I swear to you. I begged her not to. I didn't think she would do this, I prayed she wouldn't."

Misty threw her arm out angrily. "A victor's engagement tour. Are ya fuckin' kidding me."

"I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry."

The wild blonde glanced back at the first daughter, crying at the edge of their bed, and she sighed through her nose, pulling the woman to her feet and hugging her to her chest tightly. "Don't cry."

Cordelia laughed bitterly through her tears. "This is all my fault. It's all my fault and you put up with my shit."

Misty didn't have an answer, and she tugged the older blonde impossibly closer. Finally, she answered, her mouth by Cordelia's ear. "I'll do it. Ya know I will. But not for her, or for them." Cordelia nodded into her, slipping her hand between their chests to wipe at her nose. "And ya can't, just, just don't expect me to be happy the entire time."

"I don't want you to be if you aren't." The first daughter hiccuped. "I won't be happy either. I wasn't then, the first time. I don't like being paraded. But you, being with you will help. It's just as hard for me, you know, watching these people look up at me and cheer when my mother's just murdered their children." Misty's hands ran up and down her back.

"I guess we both did."

Cordelia breathed out harshly and tried to pull away, her hands on Misty's chest, but the victor didn't let go, instead burying back into blonde locks.

"Don't shut off on me on this tour."

The older woman laughed bitterly, incredulously. "Me?"

"I won't if ya don't."

Cordelia rested her forehead on Misty's collarbone.

OOOoooOOO

"Drink?"

Misty looked up from her book and passed her hand over her eyes as she chucked it onto the coffee table. "God no."

"You know, now that you're doing relatively fine again, I don't mind you drinking."

The wild blonde laughed. "Relatively?"

Cordelia shrugged.

"No, no thanks. I don't think I'll be able to stomach it." Misty buried back into her couch, frowning. "I haven't thrown up in a month, and I'm tryin' to lenghten that record. I don't want to ever taste vomit again."

The first daughter grinned. "Look at you, back to normal, cracking jokes, and off your bouts of alcoholism."

"I wasn't an alcoholic."

The older blonde watched her for a moment, then shrugged. "If you say so, but Myrtle has a few empty bottles to dispute that. I hope you'll forgive me if I help myself."

"Hmm." Misty waved her hand vaguely and Cordelia served herself a double on the rocks, only to fall into the armchair across from her. "Ya look tired."

"You kicked last night."

The wild blonde threw her a wry grin. "So did ya." Cordelia shook her head, fighting a smile. After a moment, Misty patted the space besides her, inviting the president's daughter over.

"There's no space, Mist."

The victor raised an eyebrow and patted her stomach, clicking her tongue.

"Why don't you whistle at me too. That'll work."

"Will it?"

Cordelia reached behind her and threw the pillow she found at Misty, the wild blonde mimicking being shot as the older woman walked over and threw her leg over her, straddling her. "You okay?"

"As okay as I could be."

They both turned to watch the scenery pass by, the Capitol train hurtling through the mountains. Cordelia gave the girl an indescribable noise before stretching herself out and settling against her chest, her fingers finding their way into the victor's curly hair. Misty did the same, wrapping her arms tight around the woman's back.

"We start tomorrow."

"I know." Misty replied softly.

"District One."

"I know."

Cordelia shifted to look up at her fiancée, her chin resting on the girl's chest. "You don't have to talk, you know. I can take care of it. All of it."

"They're goin' to want a few words for this year's runner up. I want to give them that, it's the least I can do."

"This is an engagement tour, not the victory tour, you have no obligations to talk about the Games. Not for a few months."

"I'm the victor. That's all they want."

Cordelia fell quiet as she blinked her mismatched eyes.

"What are ya thinkin' about."

"I'm thinking that whatever you choose to say, will be perfect."

Misty glanced down at her, tearing her gaze away from the passing cliffs. "I'm not that eloquent with words, but I'll do my best, yeah."

The older blonde shook her head slightly. "It'll be perfect." She assured her. She shifted to rest her head fully, tugging on random curls and looking off to the side as Misty hummed aimlessly.

OOOoooOOO

Madison was, had been, a carbon copy of her mother, and Misty found her throat dry as she stared the woman who'd taken a seat in the front row down. There was no sadness in the older blonde's eyes, just fury. Tired fury that most likely matched Misty's own blue-green eyes, that would match Cordelia's if the first daughter noticed the looks exchanged.

The mayor of District One began his speech but Misty tuned it out as her fingers found Cordelia's. She twitched randomly whenever the dirty blonde's name was called, and the first daughter squeezed her hand tighter wordlessly.

"We, as a nation, are proud to announce the engagement of president Fiona Goode's daughter, Cordelia, to the 86th victor of the Hunger Games, Misty Day." The mayor turned and faced the two blondes expectantly and Cordelia moved to stand, but Misty stopped her. She fixed her suit lapels and walked to the microphone.

OOOoooOOO

"We knew each other for less than three weeks. But he became my friend in there. My best friend. I just," Misty paused, her fingers playing with the necklace around her throat. "This is for him." She fiddled a little longer, and the lightbulbs on her chest came to life, slightly tattered and a little dim.

The District Three crowds fell into a hushed, reverent silence as they watched her hold them up inches from her chest, offering them and the Capitol cameras a good view. She knew that behind her, Cordelia was smiling softly.

A light came on, far off in the crowd, a young man holding his tablet up to the skies, the screen turned up to its highest luminosity setting. A girl by his side did the same. It fell over in a wave and the district caught fire.

OOOoooOOO

"I've, uh, I've been keepin' these. Myrtle gave them back to me after I won, she was able to rescue them." Misty started, unable to look up into the woman's eyes. "I, I'm a pretty selfish person. I almost kept them, I almost left them at, in the capitol. But they belong to you. Not me." She dropped the boots onto the table, watching the shoelaces fall onto the wooden surface. "Not me."

"Miss Day-"

"Please don't. It's Misty. It's always been Misty." The wild blonde shook her head. "I don't deserve your respect." She turned her head away.

"You brought me back my boy's shoes. You deserve it all."

Misty glanced up at the shorter woman, noticing she'd picked up the boots and that tears were streaming down her face.

"This was his favorite pair. He begged me to wear them to the reapin'." She laughed lightly. "He looked so dapper in them, he was so proud. His friends came to pick him up and they were proud too, they pulled in and bought them for his birthday, ya know?"

"I know. He told me."

The black woman sighed heavily. "Thank ya." She shook her head. "For protectin' him as best as ya could. His death is not on your hands, do ya understand me?" Misty began to speak, but she cut her off. "Do ya understand me?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I do." Misty breathed out, her shoulders slumping. "I do."

"But ya don't believe me."

The wild blonde shook her head, curls flying. "It's hard to."

She was pulled into a sudden hug and she easily fell into it, embracing the shorter woman with all she had.

"You're always welcome here, Misty Day."

OOOoooOOO

Cordelia's fingers were tight in Misty's hair, but the wild blonde's grip on her hips was even tighter as the victor pushed the older woman into their train's bedroom door, their mouths meeting sloppily as Misty urged her shirt up and over her head.

"I hate this." She managed to say as Cordelia moaned in her ear. "I hate all of this." She bit down the first daughter's neck, earning gasps as she left angry red marks. "And I need ya."

Cordelia's voice was hoarse as Misty grinded her hips into her. "You need me." She echoed.

"So goddamn bad." The wild blonde didn't wait for an answer as she tugged on the older woman's belt, undoing the clasp and pulling her pants down mid-thigh. Her free hand settled in between the woman's legs and she looked up into mismatched eyes. Cordelia managed to give her a lopsided smile before reaching down and kissing her again.

"I like it when you need me."

"It's not for all the right reasons." Misty growled, pushing the palm of her hand into the woman's clit.

"With you it is." Cordelia hitched out, knees buckling lightly. The wild blonde groaned into her neck before her forehead fell against the other's shoulder and as she began moving her fingers purposefully. Cordelia's fingers dug into her forearms and she welcomed the pain.

OOOoooOOO

"We should get a snake."

"A snake." Cordelia echoed, glancing down at the girl who'd sprawled against her. "Why would we get a snake?"

Misty looked up at Cordelia, her head in the older blonde's lap. "It could be an 'end of engagement tour' present. We could bring it on interview days, scare the shit outta Billie. And I'm sure your ma wouldn't come around so often if it was slitherin' around. We could name it Red Baron."

"Would you like a new room for it too? Something like an inside garden?"

"You're teasin' me."

Cordelia grinned as she leaned down and kissed her fiancée lightly. "Anything else you want?"

"I have half a mind to get some fangs done."

"Oh please."

The End