AN: Hello, again!
It appears that I have developed a serious addiction to this site and posting and updating. So here you'll find a set of one-shots to fill in some gaps my story Family Complications left behind, or just provide some additional scenes that I have in my head, but couldn't fit into the story. (That means that I'll keep on this shameless advertising all along, because I need to define when these scenes take place in the confines of the main story)
Everything is owned by J.R.R. Tolkien.
I hope you'll like this, if you read Family Complications and if you didn't, you can still check it out, if these one-shots hook your attention. No-one is forcing you though, if you don't like it, feel free to stop anytime :) I'd be most happy to receive your comments and reviews and thank you for reading in advance.
Here is the new chapter, update a little troublesome as always, but I'm starting to get used to it, haha. Hot tea, chocolate and vodka always help. No, actually none of those things ever helped with an update, but who knows the future... Okay, enough of my bullshit. Here's the chapter and I really hope you'll like it :)
SCENE No. 3
- set on the day Gilraen left the Citadel (starting right after Family Complictions Chapter 18 - The End, including and ending after Chapter 19 - Guard of the Citadel) -
Of course the King will not see him. In the King's place, he would not see himself either. But in the King's place he would have never thrown out his own daughter or called her a whore…
Torundir left the guards without a word and headed home to see if Gilraen arrived. He had sent Stanwick and Donland to fetch her and if everything was all right, she had probably arrived at his house by this time. He swung up into the saddle and jammed his heels into Thunder's side. He tried to gather his thoughts while he was riding home, actually he had been trying to gather his bloody damn thoughts ever since he received Gilraen's letter…
He was just about to walk up to the Citadel to talk with the King, as he had agreed with Gilraen the previous night, to tell him that he wanted to marry his daughter when this woman ran up to him, utterly confused and out of breath.
"My lord, I beg your pardon, my lady sent me to find you and deliver this message" she panted.
Torundir raised an eyebrow, but before he could have asked anything the woman went on.
"My lord, please take the letter. I don't know what it is, but it must be very urgent and very important… Something is very wrong… My lady asks you to send word back to her with me, my lord" she handed him a piece of paper with a curtsy and Torundir unfolded it. It didn't take a tenth of a second to recognize Gilraen's small round letters, unusually crooked and messy.
"Fuck…" he muttered as he read the letter. This was some really deep shit... Well, what did he except? It would have been a miracle if they got away with an affair that lasted three months.
He read the letter again. He felt like exploding with anger, desperation, helplessness and guilt. A part of him wanted to go to the Citadel and tear every single piece of blond hair out of Sybille's empty, self-conceited head. Was that the kind of family solidarity she had been taught? To leave her own sister alone in trouble, who did everything and more to help with all her petty damn problems? Another part of him wanted to go to the Citadel and teach that pointed eared cow to look on what she was turning her other daughters into, or at least peek into a goddamn mirror before she dares to call Gilraen, his Gilraen a whore. The third part of him wanted to go to the Citadel to find Gilraen, hold her in his arms and tell her everything would be all right. And the fourth and greatest part of him wanted to talk to the King…
"Tell her…" Torundir turned to the handmaid running a hand over his head in frustration. Fucking hell, what to tell her? Well, there wasn't a wide range of options to choose from at this point. "Tell her to pack her things. I'll send two men to collect her and everything she wants to take along. I'll meet her when I get home."
"M-my lord?" the woman stammered bewildered. "You don't mean that—?"
"Just go and tell her what I said, damn it!" he rounded on the maid who fled back to the Citadel at once.
Torundir took a deep breath and rode home. He ordered everybody into the hall to give the instructions.
"You two will go to the Citadel at once" he turned to Stanwick and Donland. "Use the back way, which leads to the servants' entrance of the palace, the guards won't let you in anywhere else. There, you'll go and find the Princess Gilraen's chambers, she'll have packed her things, all you'll need to do is get them back here and no, you'll not ask any bloody fucking question neither now, nor in the Citadel and especially not from her" he raised his voice when he saw Stanwick opening his mouth to say something. "She'll come with you here and you" he turned to Pilares and the serving girls. "You will receive her and you will be fucking kind to her, is that understood?" he glared at Pilares who had one thing written over her face clearly, that she gravely disliked what she heard.
"My lord if I may—" the housekeeper started, skeptical eyebrows raised high, but Torundir cut her across at once.
"You may not."
"Even if I may not, my lord, what on good earth would make you bring the Princess Gilraen to this house and to what ends?" Pilares gave him a cheeky, disapproving glare.
That was all for Torundir. "I will marry the Princess Gilraen and she will live in this house and if you dare say or do anything rude when she gets here, that'll be the last fucking thing you did in my service, did I make myself clear?!" he rounded on the woman losing all self-control.
Pilares was an old hand though, she had heard this sentence from Torundir at least a hundred times already, and probably a couple hundred times from his father too; she had no trouble handling her lords' outbursts. She even looked bored as she nodded without blenching. "You did, my lord."
Torundir left them without another word and went to the Citadel gate to spend one and a half fruitless hour trying to convince the guards to let him speak with the King, to let him explain, to let him… tell the King how sorry they were. Not very surprisingly, nobody seemed any likely to try and convince the King to receive him. Why, in goodness' name, hadn't he talked to the King in the past months? He should have told him that he loved Gilraen ages ago. Maybe then, the King would have given his consent. But what was he expecting now, after they double crossed him...? Even the idea was ridiculous.
And now here he was, riding home, hoping that at least Gilraen arrived without more trouble. Stanwick and Donland were standing in the front yard looking puzzled and aghast when he arrived. Donland took his horse and told him that they got both the Princess Gilraen and her belongings, she was waiting for him inside. In the entrance hall he found the two maids standing on tiptop craning their necks to get a better view of the parlor through its half closed door. They dropped their heads the moment they heard him approach and curtsied with their eyes falling, not daring to meet his gaze.
Torundir walked past without even looking at them and opened the parlor door to find Gilraen sitting in an armchair, staring blankly at the opposite wall.
"Gilraen" he called at her.
She lifted her head and tears ran over her eyes as she leapt up to throw herself into his arms.
"Shhhhhh, darling. I'm here" he locked her into his arms and stroked her back as she sobbed into his chest.
"I'm… I'm sorry…" she cried clutching his jerkin. "It was… it was my fault… I botched it… I told her… but… you don't know what things she said… about you… I couldn't stand it… I'm sorry…"
"Shh. It's not your fault. It's not your fault, sweetheart" Torundir shook his head as he rocked her. "Come on" he pulled her back to the armchair, sat her down and tilted up her chin. "What happened?" he asked gently, knowing full well that Pilares and both maids were standing right outside the door listening to every word they would say. He didn't care… All he cared about was his sweet, heartbroken Gilraen.
"It was horrible" she muttered trying to pull herself together. "I wanted to tell my mother first, but thinking back, it was a bad idea, I should have told Father first, I so messed it up, already in the beginning—"
"It was not your fault" Torundir told her sternly.
"Well, whatever… She said I was an idiot, because you were just trying to take advantage of me and that even if I did marry you, you would get bored with me in a month and you would hate me and beat me. So I would be crawling on their doorstep to beg to be taken back in shame and humiliation…"
Torundir felt his blood boiling. "I sincerely hope you did not believe a word of that fucking crap!"
"I did not!" Gilraen glared at him with puffed, red eyes, overrunning with tears again.
"Sorry, I'm sorry… Forgive me" Torundir shook his head cursing himself for not being able to control his damned temper. "Gilraen, please, I didn't mean to hurt you" he looked at her taking her small hands in his.
"I know…" she sniffed and messed with his fingers nervously. "So… I just told her to shut up and leave you alone, because you are not like that and we got carried away and the next thing I knew was that I had told her about us… And then… just all hell broke loose. I thought Eldarion was going to throttle me, he was so mad, I have never seen him like that… And my father too, goodness, he was so angry…" Gilraen choked on her tears. "And he was right, I know he was right, but… I was just standing there and everybody, you know, every single member of my family were shouting about what a whore I am…" Gilraen could go on and ducked forward to sob in his arms.
"And then…" she took a deep breath to calm herself. "My father was telling me that I could not be your whore and a princess too and I'll lose something either case. And I said that then I choose you. And he told me to get out… And Sybille… she was sitting there all along, listening to him and she didn't say a word. She didn't say anything at all…! She just sat there and watched as my mother slapped me up, as my father threw me out…"
"Your mother HIT YOU?!" Torundir snapped not believing his ears. He wanted to curse the queen with every word he knew, but he couldn't. Not here, not now, not in front of Gilraen, who just gave up that thrice damned mother of hers for his sake.
"She was angry" Gilraen shrugged sniffing. "And Sybille… I mean I deserved it, I deserved being hit, being humiliated, being treated like scum, because that's what I am, stupid naive scum whore" Gilraen sobbed. "But I would not have let them do even half of this to her in a reverse situation... She is my twin… How could she…?"
Torundir was going mad with anger and he pulled Gilraen into his arms. "Shhh, sweetheart, you are no scum, or whore. You are not stupid or naive or anything like that… Shhh, my love, don't cry. Or cry. That helps. I'm here. Just cry if you need to."
And she cried. She spilled her hot salty tears of humiliation, pain, sorrow, betrayal and loss on his shoulders while he just sat there unable to help her. All he could do was hold her and keep telling her that she would be all right. The worst part was knowing that all this pain she had to endure was his fault. No, not just his, the queen's, Sybille's and the Prince's too, treating Gilraen so cruelly. But mostly his, falling in love with her and letting her fall for him… and above all, being such a selfish bastard that he was unable to let go of his feelings for her.
It took half an hour to pull Gilraen together. Torundir escorted her upstairs to the guest room, where the maids put her traveling chest, and told her to start unpacking, so it would occupy her, while he would go and arrange a few things.
Pilares was standing in the hall wearing her look of disapproval when he descended.
"Will the Princess be staying for dinner, my lord?" the old woman asked with a grimace.
Torundir gaped at her. This was too much. This old bat knew no bounds… He could not even think of any threat or insult to say to her. All that could escape his lips was an incredulous chuckle. "Yes. She will" he said to Pilares shaking his head and left for the sixth level.
They needed to get this done as soon as possible, before the King would have a mind to make up some decree prohibiting the holy men to wed his daughter to anybody. Even like this, they weren't impressed with the idea, but some threats, some gold and mentioning his rank did the trick, as always. Torundir told the holy man they'd be back in an hour to be wedded and went home to fetch Gilraen.
She was so stunned at the sudden twist of the day she even broke into a smile. While she got dressed, Torundir told Pilares and the maids to prepare them some appropriate dinner, after all this thrice damned day would be their wedding day… Finally Gilraen arrived wearing a silver-yellow dress that floated around her waist like sunshine. For a moment all Torundir could do was stand there and behold this beauty who would soon be his wife.
"You are beautiful" he smiled at her. "Come." And taking her hand, he led her out of the house.
Getting married was quicker and merrier than he ever thought it would be. All the while the holy men spoke Gilraen wore an incredulous smile on her sweet face and when she turned to face him and said the oath that would bind them together for a lifetime, Torundir knew that both of them forgot everything for that moment and all they cared about was their love for each other. The holy man declared them man and wife and he locked Gilraen in his arms for the first as her husband. He was the happiest man in the world to see no regret or second thoughts in the pair of sapphire eyes leering up at him warm with love and affection.
When they got back, Pilares and the maids were just setting the dining table, the housekeeper glanced up without a word and gave Torundir a scolding You are mental to have gone through with this look. He did not make a comment, just waved at the women to leave them alone. Gilraen gave an uncertain smile at the dishes and turned to him.
"This is so lovely, I'm just not sure I'm very hungry…"
"When was the last time you ate?" he raised a suspicious eyebrow at her.
"I don't know… yesterday lunch, I think" she replied sitting down.
"That's what I would have guessed" he glared at her. "You need to eat something."
They ate in silence for a while. Torundir watched Gilraen and wondered what he should say to her. What could he say to her after she gave up everything for him? He didn't know if Gilraen blamed him or herself. Probably not her family, that was not like her, though blaming him was not like Gilraen either; especially not after she chose him. How thankful he was for that…! He wanted to assure her that in a reverse situation he would have gone up against his father too, and chosen her over his family… But he didn't want her to think he was understating her decision. He could see exactly well how badly she took losing her family.
In the end it was her to speak first.
"Have you ever thought of a stupider and more unlikely way for us to get discovered?" she asked him wondering.
"Stupider and more unlikely than having the same bleeding singers for your birthday celebration we met a month ago? I just don't think there's anything more unlikely than that…"
"I know!" Gilraen burst out laughing. Torundir had no idea what to make of her laughter. "Goodness, this is so crazy! I mean I actually spent a night away from home and nothing! I practically ran off from my own farewell feast to your house and nothing! But we have an innocent birthday celebration and the next thing I know is being thrown out from home…!" Gilraen let out a crazed chuckle and poured herself wine.
"You know, I'll burn in seventh hell for this, but a part of me is glad that we got over with the whole damn getting discovered thing…" Torundir confessed her concentrating hard not to miss a single shard of her reaction.
"Well…" Gilraen fall silent for a moment as she studied his face. It was now that he could see how deep the hurt of losing her family ran in her eyes and soul, and yet there was something else there, something in those blue eyes he could not define. Gilraen raised her wine cup to toast him. "We'll burn together, my lord husband."
Torundir broke into an incredulous chuckle and they drank. "Come here" he said to Gilraen and she walked over to him sinking into his lap with a tired smile as he embraced her. "Gilraen, I cannot replace your family and I don't want to. But I promise you that I will make you happy. You will not regret choosing me."
Gilraen locked her arms around his neck and buried her face into his shoulders, to hide her tears, he knew well. "And I promise that I'll be a good wife to you. You will not regret marrying me." She gave him a smile once she lifted her head and Torundir kissed her hoping to put all the love he felt for her into their kiss.
They resumed dinner chatting and Torundir did everything he could to cheer up Gilraen, as much as the circumstances allowed at least. That was when Beregond arrived and all his work to brighten his wife's spirits was demolished by the news he brought. Torundir pressed his lips together and sent Gilraen upstairs deciding that he would get over talking to his friend as fast as possible. He knew what Beregond was going to say, it was the same thing Pilares' eyes said, the same thing the kitchen maids and probably half the city whispered about; that he should have never married Gilraen. And that was something he was not interested to hear.
"Will you tell me what he said?" Gilraen asked once he joined her in his bedchamber. Her eyes were red again.
"Just the usual shit. That we'll get bored with each other and regret the whole thing with time…" he sighed and drowned a cup of wine.
"Do you think we will?" she asked him, barely audible.
"No" Torundir shook his head and pulled her into his arms. "No, we will not" he told her pulling her face to his, claiming her soft red lips. "We will not" he repeated holding her ever tighter, kissing her with ever growing hunger.
"We will not" Gilraen echoed, a small smile forming in the corner of her lips as she let him lower her onto the bed.
"I love you" he breathed against her mouth as he started unlacing her dress.
"We were loud" Gilraen concluded an hour later, lying in his arms, her soft nakedness pressed against his body.
"These are thick doors" Torundir chuckled and kissed her head.
"Do you feel any difference?" she asked.
"What are you talking about?"
"Do you feel that this would have been any better or worse if it had been the first time we go to bed?"
"No" Torundir shook his head. "Do you?"
"No, me neither… Funnily enough…"
"I can't really say I'm following you" Torundir noted, stroking her back.
"I was just wondering if it actually makes any difference whether you are a virgin on your wedding night or not. I mean this was special in one way and when I was with you for the first time, that was special in another way. But both were special and both were just perfect."
"Well the only difference is that if you do things properly, the two experiences will occur on the same night…" Torundir shrugged.
"Yeah, I guess…" Gilraen nodded and nuzzled against him.
"Can I ask you some things?" she spoke up after ten minutes of silently caressing each other.
"Anything you want, sweetheart" he replied with a smile.
"Just some practical things…" Gilraen went on. "Like, where will I sleep? As your wife, I mean."
Torundir raised his eyebrows at the question. Gilraen was the sweetest loveliest woman in the world, but still a woman with the typical, and very much unexplainable tendency of women to overthink every question. He did not even understand why this was a question in the first place…
"Here" he told her and drew an arm around her waist.
"Here? With you? In this bed?"
"Yes" Torundir nodded. "Given you don't have any objections…"
"No" Gilraen sounded surprised. "Not at all…" she shook her head with a smile.
"But?" Torundir asked kissing into her golden hair. "Because I could feel the hidden 'but'" he added with a small smile.
She chuckled and kissed his chest. "I was just wondering, wouldn't it be weird if I slept here when… you know, when… I have my blood…"
Torundir thought about that for a moment. "No, I don't think it would bother me. You are a woman and having your blood comes with that."
"It would bother me, though" Gilraen blurted. "To mess this bed while… just…"
"You are being ridiculous" Torundir shook his head. "You are such lovely, such a beautiful woman, Gilraen, everything is so beautiful about you. How can you feel uncomfortable about your own body? Whatever… you can sleep in that room" he pointed at the door on the opposite wall of the bedchamber. "when you have your blood if that makes you feel comfortable. But I tell you, it's pointless, because I can just see myself waking up in the middle of the night and going over to sleep next to you anyways."
Gilraen just laughed. "Thank you. And I also wanted to ask about your servants. What do they make of me just popping up here?"
"Whatever they want to, but I warned them that you are my wife, that is their lady, that is the mistress of this house, which means that I'll throw out anybody without a second thought who is rude or disrespectful to you."
"There's no need to threaten your servants on my account…" Gilraen muttered.
"Ah, believe me, there is!" Torundir snorted rolling his eyes as he remembered the faces Pilares made when he announced that he would marry Gilraen. "Anything else, my sweet?"
"Yes, apparently. My horse is in the Royal Stables and I'm not sure what should be done about that."
"Nothing. That horse has always been a pain in the ass, I'll get you a fine mare."
"Goodness, you really don't need to buy me a horse…" Gilraen said uncomfortably.
"Then you'll walk or what?" he raised an eyebrow. "This is none of the big deal you are making it seem" Torundir glared at her and kissed her brow.
"Well then, thank you" Gilraen smiled at him. "And that was all, I don't have any other ridiculous questions" she chuckled and Torundir drew his arms around her laughing.
"I love you and all your ridiculous questions, sweetheart."
"I love you too" she reached up to kiss him.
Torundir just stroked her cheeks and pulled a cover over them. "It's really late, and you should get some rest after such a day" he told her and blew out the candles on the bedside. Gilraen curled up against him and linking their arms together, they prepared to fall asleep.
And this time they would fall asleep together. This time Gilraen was not going anywhere, not even in the morning. This time, and from now on, Gilraen was truly his; his to sleep with, his to wake up next to, his to have breakfast with, his to love. He knew full well that he should be feeling guilty for such thoughts, the price Gilraen had to pay was too great, but the selfish bastard half of his soul couldn't help rejoicing to hold her with the knowledge that he would never have to let go of her again.
"We are married" Gilraen observed after ten minutes of lying in the darkness.
Torundir didn't know whether he should laugh or not at the sudden announcement. "Yes, darling, I was there too" he chuckled.
"Oh, please…" Gilraen shook her head. "It's just so strange… yesterday morning I had no idea that I'd go to bed as a married woman tonight. It was all such a mess… But I want you to know that I'm happy about it. I am not doing this because I have no other choice anymore, I love you and I am so happy to be your wife. I just wanted to tell you this" she placed a kiss onto his chest. "Good night" she said then and buried her face into the crook of his neck.
Torundir was at loss of words. It was he who had the real honor to have this exceptional, sweet girl in his life. He hugged her to himself as tight as he could and kissed her head. "You have no idea how much you mean to me, my love" he told her and started rocking her as he felt the warm, salty streams of her tears running down his chest.
I hope it wasn't too sappy. Well, let me know what you think and if you have any ideas what scenes you would like to see, please write me a PM, or include it in your review, so I'll have a chance to consider including it in a one-shot.
Honestly, where do mosquitoes come from? It's like 8 degrees outside, shouldn't mosquitoes still be wherever mosquitoes are during winter? Write me a PM if you know why mosquitoes are attacking me in the beginning of March, haha :D Just joking. Okay, I'll stop rambling.
Update. Next week I won't have any time to write, but we'll have a holiday at the end of the week, so maybe then I can get down to do some writing. So most probably there'll be no update next weekend, but if something comes up and gives me a bunch of unexpected time, anything can happen :) Thanks for reading!