AN: Hello, again!
It appears that I have developed a serious addiction to this site and posting and updating. So here you'll find a set of one-shots to fill in some gaps my story Family Complications left behind, or just provide some additional scenes that I have in my head, but couldn't fit into the story. (That means that I'll keep on this shameless advertising all along, because I need to define when these scenes take place in the confines of the main story)
Everything is owned by J.R.R. Tolkien.
I hope you'll like this, if you read Family Complications and if you didn't, you can still check it out, if these one-shots hook your attention. No-one is forcing you though, if you don't like it, feel free to stop anytime :) I'd be most happy to receive your comments and reviews and thank you for reading in advance.
Oh my goodness, I am so, so very sorry for this horrible delay with the update. I did say two weeks ago that I might not get to post the following weekend, but still, the fact that I was right just makes me feel so bad. I wanted to update on Tuesday, but I got home so late and the wind froze the hell out of me so I just watched tv and enjoyed the snowfall from inside. For the rest of the days I have real excuses, not just laziness, haha :D But enough talking now, here's a new chapter, that I hope you will like and forgive me for not updating. Some pressure this time, because the world is not all sparkling unicorns and big black stallions prancing around the blooming meadow among pink clouds farting rainbow all around...
SCENE No. 4
- set 3-4 days after Scene No. 3, that is first days of marriage (sort of parallel in time with Family Complications Chapter 21 - A Best Friend) -
She woke to a paralyzing feeling of loneliness. For a moment she didn't even want to lift her head, or sit up, she just let the endless emptiness flood her heart. She never thought it would be this hard, but it seemed three days were just perfectly enough to get used to waking up to Torundir nuzzling against her. And previously she would always wake to Sybille chatting with her handmaids in the parlor, or to her mother bursting the door onto her and making a fuss for one reason or the other. Oh what she wouldn't give to have her mother burst the door on her once more…
Gilraen sat up with a sigh and looked around. The bed was oddly empty without her husband. And so would the house be, once she gathered her strength to get up and face a whole day without anything to do, without anybody to talk to. The maids would not talk to her, she knew well, they answered if she asked something, so 'the lord'- that was how Torundir was referred to by all his servants – would not yell at them, but to talk with her for the mere pleasure of talking, that would not happen. She had no idea when her husband would be back, he would have lessons to hold and some other errands to run, that was all he had said last night.
After scrambling out of bed, she dressed and prepared to descend to get some breakfast. She already heard the muffled sound of people talking from the middle of the stairs. Maybe the maids would yet talk to her, they didn't seem to hate her as much as the housekeeper did. As she made her way through the main hall though, the voices proved to be doubtlessly male. Her heart almost leapt out of her chest in joy when she saw Torundir standing in the dining room.
He turned around hearing her enter and spun her around with a happy grin.
"Good morning, my sweet, happy to see me?"
"So happy! I didn't know you'd be back so soon" she replied locking her arms around his neck as she stood on tiptoes to kiss him. Then she realized that Stanwick, Pilares and the older maid, Fali were all in the room watching them, and blushing, took an uncomfortable step backwards. Torundir just laughed and pulled her back into his arms for one last kiss.
"I'm not back yet, just had to drop home for something and thought I'd finally have breakfast" he shook his head with a smile and pulled out a chair for her.
They both sat down to the table and Torundir ordered Pilares to bring them food after telling the woman off for not preparing breakfast for his wife in the first place.
"What was I saying?" Torundir turned back to Stanwick after a few bites of buttered pheasant legs.
"The message to the Lord Beregond, my lord" the man inclined his head.
"No, I finished that" Torundir shook his head. "The charters to the Chancellery. So, if Beregond can tell you what papers they need, find me so I can get them and take them to Caledion. What in seventh hells' name is this census good for? The treasury has the Land Book, they know how much wealth everybody has! Can't imagine who came up with another elven nonsense…"
Gilraen felt her lips press together. It always had to come down to this…
"And if Lord Beregond don't know what papers you need, my lord?"
Torundir rolled his eyes. "In that case, I'll need to find somebody who will be so kind as to enlighten me about the elven way of bloody censoring, because I'm but sure that our old way is out of fashion now. Surely the queen and her people have better ways, even when it comes to census."
Gilraen did her best not to slam her fork onto the table. She didn't seem to succeed because Torundir turned to her with a surprised look.
"The Queen" she started, her voice trembling with tension. "Does not spend her days sitting around trying to come up with new ways to annoy you and the other lords." She knew her cheeks were flushed with anger and concentrated hard to keep her voice as calm as possible; she didn't want a fight. She just wanted him to stop blaming everything on her mother. "She spends her days sitting around drinking her tea, reading her books. She is not trying to undermine and annoy the nobility on purpose only because it entertains her!"
Torundir looked stunned at her words. He waved off Stanwick never taking his narrowing eyes off of Gilraen. It seemed none of the seven heavens will save her from a fight… She didn't want a fight… But… this was her mother.
Once the door closed and they were alone Torundir put down his fork too and raised a pair of shining dark chocolate eyes at her, empty of wrath or frustration.
"I didn't mean to offend you. I am sorry, if I did" he told her. Gilraen was so surprised at his reaction, she couldn't think of any reply, so he went on. "I should know better than to say things like that. Whatever I may think, she is your mother who you miss and I should learn to respect that. I will. I didn't want to hurt you" he finished putting his hand on hers.
"It's… it's all right" Gilraen said struggling to find the right words. "I know that… I know what you think about the whole elven queen issue, and I understand and respect it. But it's not like she is responsible for everything bad to happen… She is not a bad person… Just please… don't blame everything on her."
"I will stop doing that, I promise. Apologies for offending your mother" Torundir replied, now holding her hand.
"It's all right…" Gilraen muttered. She missed her mother. She was angry with her for saying all those things about Torundir, but his saying all these things about her mother made her angry too. She loved her husband, but her mother would always be her mother, no matter how she treated her, or how annoying she was sometimes. Torundir squeezed her hand.
"Are we all right?" he asked searching for her eyes.
"Yes…" Gilraen nodded and he lifted her hand to place a kiss on it. That made her smile. "So…" she started, ready to put this whole affair behind, hoping that he would keep his word. "When will you be back?"
Torundir measured her for a moment, clearly looking for further signs of irritation, so they would not leave anything unresolved before he answered. "Around late afternoon, I suppose."
"Then we can have dinner together?" she gave him a smile. Maybe not now, but by dinner she would be completely calm, and thus craving to spend time with him.
"Yes, we can" he nodded, returning her smile, visibly relaxed that they were really all right.
After breakfast Torundir left and Gilraen wondered for an hour what to do alone in the big manor. Her husband had said that she could do anything she liked, she could get a book and read or reorganize anything she liked, do whatever she would normally spend her days with. Only, she had no idea how she would spend her days normally. For years her days were defined by her Academy lessons, by her sister and her mother… In the end, she went upstairs to organize her things. She never got to unpack properly ever since she moved in with Torundir, all her clothes and things were just thrown into her traveling chest.
However, after packing everything she could find in the house, there was really nothing else to do. She couldn't read, somehow no book seemed to be able to occupy her; and she didn't want to go out into the yard either. The servants still stared at her wherever she'd go within the house, and stepping over the doorstep was even worse. She remembered when they went to buy the silver mare for her, each and every man, woman and child they passed on the street turned after them to stare and whisper…
Eventually Gilraen decided to get a book and sat down to read in the parlor for a short while. Up until an enraged Torundir burst the door on her.
"Did you mess up my papers?!" he rounded on her in clear irritation.
"I…" Gilraen stood up stammering, utterly shocked at the situation. "I didn't—"
"When I left in the morning they were all fine! And now I can't find a fucking thing, because you put everything away!" he yelled, completely on the flutter.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean any harm… I didn't know—"
"WHY did you even have to fuck up the order of my stuff?! It was a little messy maybe, but I had a grip on it, I knew where I could find certain things and now I fucking can't!" he shouted at her.
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry! I'll find everything for you. Please, I didn't mean to—" Gilraen pleaded on the very edge of desperation.
"I don't care what you meant! Who said you could even touch those damned papers?! Now it will take fucking ages to find any bloody fucking thing!" Torundir raged on ignoring her apologies.
"I'll find it for you, I'm so sorry…"
"Then GO and find it, because I need to give it to the damned chancellor for the damned census!" her husband snapped, eyes flashing with anger as he turned out of the room.
Gilraen followed him completely devastated. She so didn't want to upset him, she never thought she would do any harm messing his papers, he was right, she should have asked him specifically before she touched his things, but she didn't mean any harm… it was all with good intention… It took more than five minutes to find that damned paper under his burning glare…
"I'm so sorry…" she muttered handing him the charter. "I'll never touch your writings again, I promise. Please, forgive me…"
"I sincerely recommend that you do not" Torundir said and left without another word.
Gilraen thought she was going to cry. Now even Torundir hated her… She took a deep breath and left for the stairs as gracefully as she could while Pilares, the maids and Stanwick, who came back with Torundir, stared after her silently. Upstairs she sunk onto the small divan at the end of their bed and let out a helpless sigh.
She would always fight with Sybille and Eldarion. And they would always win, leaving her crying or raging after every quarrel. That was all right, she got used to that through the years, they made things up the next day and all was well. Then it started again. It was never new, never different. But Torundir being angry with her was new and broke her heart. She so loved him, she was so sorry...
For the rest of the afternoon Gilraen just sat on the divan and prayed for her husband to come home, so they could make things up. It was already dark when someone knocked on the door.
"Yes?" Gilraen called and the copper haired, freckled maid, Marla entered with a curtsy.
"Will the Princess wish to have supper?" she asked. That was her, 'the Princess'; or worse, 'Her Highness'. Gilraen wondered if the servants would ever accept her as 'the lord's wife' at least.
"Is my husband not back yet?" she asked the girl. Marla had always been the most friendly with her, probably that was the reason why it was always her to come to Gilraen at mealtimes to ask if she wished to eat.
"The lord is usually very late when he is angry" Marla shook her head, sympathy flashing in her pale brown eyes. "If you're hungry, there's no reason to wait for him, my princess."
"I'm not hungry, thank you" Gilraen shook her head. That was all about her hopes to make things up with Torundir over dinner. Should she just go to bed and wait for a better day?
Already turning out of the door Marla halted and looked back at her with an empathic face.
"Does the Princess want a bath, maybe?" she asked.
Gilraen shook her head with a grateful smile. "No, thank you" she muttered and the maid left her with a small bow of her head.
Gilraen walked to the hind chamber to wash and change into a nightgown. It was a miserable thing to go to bed without Torundir and even more miserable to know that he was angry with her. She lay awake for a while, hoping that her husband would arrive, trying to get rid of the fears that her mother would eventually prove right and their marriage would not last. Goodness, she was so afraid… She didn't want to lose him.
In the morning she woke to tiredness. This was by far the most uncomfortable night she had spent in the large teakwood bed. Gilraen sat up and looked around with a sigh. Torundir's side of the bed was messed and slept in – he had already left. Arrived after she fell asleep and left before she woke, so he would not have to speak with her. She couldn't decide whether she wanted to rage or cry. Somebody knocked on the door. Torundir would never knock on his own door, she realized with her heart sinking.
"Yes?" she called.
Marla appeared in the door. "Does the Princess wish to break her fast?"
"Yes. I'll be down in twenty minutes. Has my husband left already?" Gilraen asked the girl.
"The lord left about an hour ago" the maid nodded and Gilraen felt her heart flood with sadness once again. "Is there anything I can do for the Princess?" Marla asked her with a sympathetic smile.
"No, thank you… Or yes. Please, Marla, could you let me know if he drops home for anything throughout the day?" Gilraen looked at the maid hoping that she could count on all the friendliness the girl had offered her in the past days. Marla nodded and left with a curtsy.
She only came back twice during the day though, once at lunchtime, once at dinnertime. Never to tell her that Torundir was home.
It was around ten o'clock when Gilraen made up her mind to go to bed… she was already sick of walking circles in the yard, thinking about her mother's words on how her marriage would fall apart in a month, sick of books and sick of waiting for time to pass. She would welcome such novelty as sleeping... She was already lying in bed, her back rested against a large pillow, toying with the framing of the blanket trying to get rid of vague dark thoughts about her marriage when the door opened and Torundir walked in nodding to her in greeting.
Gilraen jumped out of bed at once and walked up to her husband helping himself to a cup of water at the small round table by the door, while her heart thumped with nervous relief to finally be able to talk to him.
"You are back. Good evening!" She wanted to be careful not to say anything that might trigger further fights. He didn't respond. "Did you have dinner?"
"Yes" he nodded and detached his hard leather belt with his dagger hanging on its side.
"And… are you still very angry with me?" Gilraen went on searching for his eyes, but he did too well avoiding hers.
"No" he finally said kicking off his boots.
Well, speaking two words to her justified exactly that… Gilraen had no idea what to say to this.
"Will you come to bed?" she finally asked, slowly moving back to her bedside.
"Yes" Torundir replied and walked over to the other side of the room to undress without another glance at her.
Oh why did he hate her? She had already cursed the moment when she touched his bills a hundred times, she was so sorry… She wanted to take him into her arms, to tell him how sorry she was, to curl up to him so he would hold her… Gilraen sniffed in helplessness and forsaking all hope to make peace with him, she curled up under her blanket, with her back to Torundir, so the man would not see if she failed to hold back her tears.
She could hear Torundir throwing his clothes onto the divan as velvet swished in the air, and sinking onto their bed as the rushes rustled under his weight. The next thing she knew was a strong arm coiling around her waist and a gentle kiss landing on her cheek.
"I'm not angry with you" Torundir spoke into her ear in a smiley-confidential voice.
That was everything for Gilraen; sitting up she spun around and flung her arms around his neck.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" she spluttered into his ear. "I'm so sorry about messing your papers, I swear it'll never happen again, please forgive me, I'm so sorry!"
Torundir chuckled and pulled her into a bone crushing embrace. "Never mind, it's just some bug of mine, that I go mad if I can't find something. And so, you have to know that this was the first, but most probably not the last outburst of mine that you had to suffer."
"It's all right, just don't hate me" Gilraen muttered into his neck with a relieved smile and hugged him as tight as her arms would let.
Torundir drew away and looked into her eyes. "Gilraen. We are married. We'll have fights. But you need to keep in mind that even when I'm pissed off at you, or I yell at you or don't talk to you, because I'm still angry and grumbly, I still love you. With all my heart. And no fight or missing charter can stop me loving you. Will you remember that, sweetheart?"
All Gilraen could do was not melt away on the spot. "I love you too. I love you so much."
"I love you so much too" he murmured into her neck as leaned in to kiss along her jawline. A shiver ran down Gilraen's spine as his lips touched her skin and she could almost instantly feel his mouth curling into a smirk against neck. "Mmm, let me show you how much…" he groaned into her ear and the next moment was already peeling the silken nightgown off of her shoulder.
Her whole body was burning with need by the time the shower of his kisses reached her navel and below. Her knees opened instinctively as the man tugged up her nightgown, no more than a circle of silk around her waist by this time. Torundir was already messing with his pants when Gilraen sat up and pushed away his hand. She wanted to do that. A wicked smile spread over her husband's face as he leaned back to let her unlace the strings.
Soon she was underneath him, pressed hard into the mattress, panting heavily, her legs wrapped around Torundir's waist, her fingers digging into his back leaving bright red scratch marks as she threw back her head with a shrill of pleasure. Her husband silenced her with a suffocating kiss before he growled into her hair at his own release, biting on the column of her neck.
They panted in each other's arms for a while and Gilraen was sure that all the servants heard that they had made it up.
"My sweet love" Torundir murmured into her neck as she curled up against him.
"I so hated that we were fighting…" Gilraen said silently as she nuzzled against him.
"This is much better, indeed" Torundir smiled and kissed her shoulder. "Sorry about your neck" he added with a chuckle.
Gilraen burst into giggles. "It's fine. Sorry about your back too."
"Ah, I'll forgive you" the man grinned kissing the top of her head. "Ah, sweetheart…" he went on remembering. "I never remembered to tell you, because I was pissed off at you, but I met Barahin yesterday morning."
"And what did he say?" Gilraen asked caressing the man's lower arm.
"He said that his wife would love to meet you and have tea with you one afternoon."
Gilraen blinked. "Oh." To have tea with the Lady Ëlyel… That was very… "And you want me to have tea with her?"
"No, I'm proposing Barahin's offer to you" Torundir said. "You don't have to have tea with her if you don't want to. It's up to you."
"All right…" Gilraen nodded thinking hard what she thought of this whole offer. "I don't know… It's not like she has to make friends with me, only because I married you…" And going out onto the street and spending a chatty afternoon with a woman she met only once, when the family of her sister's betrothed feasted her family who now disowned her, was nothing but odd, awkward and embarrassing.
"She is not making friends with you because she feels it's her duty. She wants to have tea with you because Barahin is dying with curiosity to find out what the woman's like who 'turned my brains', as he would put it, so he is making Ëlyel spy on you."
"Spy on me?" Gilraen raised an eyebrow. "This really sounds much more appealing…"
Torundir laughed. "That's some custom of ours. When Barahin married Ëlyel we were damn curious about her too, and back then it was Beregond's wife who 'spied' on her for us. But as I have said, you don't have to accept if you don't want to…"
"But you would like me to have tea with her, no?" Gilraen asked him.
"It is up to you to decide."
Gilraen rolled her eyes and chuckled. "But would you please at least tell me what you think about it?"
"Maybe. After you told me what you thought about it. I don't want to influence your decision on this matter. You don't have to be friends with Ëlyel, only because I'm friends with her husband" Torundir gave her a small mystery smile.
"I think that… it'd be strange. I don't know. I just so don't feel ready to walk out onto the street and have people stare after me and whisper behind my back and… Ëlyel will be my sister's sister-in-law, which just makes it so awkward. I really don't know" Gilraen mused.
"All right. I'll tell you what I think" Torundir nodded and rolled her around to face him. He stroked her cheeks and went on. "It might not be such a bad idea for you to have tea with Ëlyel. You might not like her, it can happen, but maybe you'll have a nice time. It'd be good for you to have some company apart from me. Some female company, with whom you could talk about curtains and flowers and all woman kind of things…"
"Curtains and flowers?" Gilraen grinned up at him.
"According to my sister that's what women talk about among each other, but maybe that was just another moment of her playing me fool" Torundir chuckled. "Gilraen, I want you to be happy. I want to give you everything that makes you happy. Everything gold can buy along with everything it cannot. Once you told me you had cushions in your bedroom. You want cushions here? Because if you do, go and get some, I'll even go with you if you want me to."
Gilraen felt so touched by his words. To go and buy cushions with her was something he would never do for anybody else's sake, she knew. She reached up to kiss his cheek.
"This room is just fine, it doesn't need any cushions" she smiled at him warmly.
"I can't say I'm not relieved to hear that" the man nodded with a grin. "What I'm saying is that there are things that cannot be bought. But there are chances. And if you gave this tea thing a chance, maybe it would turn out well, and you'd have someone to talk to. Ëlyel is an intelligent woman. She wouldn't be rude to you and I would even voucher that she knows better than to start talking about your sister. But I'm not forcing anything onto you. If you don't feel comfortable with this, don't go. All I ask is that you consider their proposition" Torundir finished.
Gilraen buried her face into his chest and inhaled the loving scent of her husband. He really loved her. Her mother was wrong, so wrong. He really cared for her.
"I'll think about it, I promise" she looked up to him and with a smile he leaned in to kiss her.
"I want to see you happy" the man drew his arms around her.
"I love you, Torundir" Gilraen murmured into his neck preparing to fall into a peaceful sleep.
Ah well... I'm addicted to happy ends. Please let me know what you think, how much you hate or not hate Torundir now, whatever comes to your mind :) I'd be really glad to read your reviews.
As for update. I'm going to Paris next week, so I don't know how I'll have time to write. Maybe on the plane, or not sure. If I can get it done, I'll post. Count on some deadly fluffy stuff, after all, it might be a Paris update, haha :D