No Money, No Love

By: Witch Baby

A/N: Okay, so now is the time we get a little serious. I am a little upset that the last chapter wasn't exactly what I wanted, but sometimes you have to let the story work you, not you work the story. But yeah, now its time to get down the business! Yeah! Are you ready? :D

This wonderful chapter is dedicated to A Dangerous Notion. My pride may be beaten to a bloody pulp, but you made this chapter into the wonderful thing that it is! Hopefully you can out up with me and stick around for when I start to cry over chapter eleven!

"You say I only hear what I want to: I don't listen hard,
I don't pay attention to the distance that you're running, to anyone, anywhere
I don't understand if you really care, I'm only hearing negative "no, no, no"

So I turned the radio on, I turned the radio up,
And this woman was singing my song,
The lover's in love, and the others run away,
The lover is crying 'cause the other won't stay.

Some of us hover when we weep for the other
Who was dying since the day they were born
Well, this is not that,
I think that I'm throwing, but I'm thrown..."

Chapter Nine: Wanted and Unwanted Things

Kanou hadn't felt this uncertain since the first time he had brought Ayase home. It was like coming full circle, doing everything in his power to get to this point in time, when he would be able to touch what he had been craving for so long. Things weren't the same though, he had to remember that. When had Ayase grown up? When had he stopped really seeing the person that Ayase truly was? Someone with a voice and ideas. It had always amazed Kanou when at the most surprising times Ayase would say something deep and profound. When had he stopped noticing such things?

Whoever Ayase had become, the young man that now walked next to him, it might as well have been a stranger. It was still his Ayase, the same perfection and sweetness that he remembered. Yet, he knew that this time something had to change. He only hoped that it wasn't too late to figure out what it was. "There's a place nearby we can stop at to eat. You must be hungry."

He felt Ayase stiffen next to him, and his small hand slip from his grasp. "That's fine." he answered quietly.

Kanou knew he did something wrong, but for the life of him could not figure out what. How could he fix it this time? Once before he had gone out of order with how to handle Ayase, but he knew he could not afford to make the same mistake twice. He racked his brain for what Someya would say on how to deal with this. "Or if there was some place you would like to go, we could do that."

Ayase paused to look up at the older man in surprise. "We could? You mean it?"

"Yes." Kanou agreed, ecstatic that he could please Ayase.

"Well okay," Ayase said, once more taking his hand and leading the way down the street, "I heard of this place from one of the shop girls and she said it was really nice. It's not too far and I've been wanting to try it..."

Kanou was content to just hear Ayase's voice as he rambled on. Was this all he wanted? He remembered Skyler saying something about letting Ayase lead once in awhile. Kanou could do that from time to time. 'Maybe this wasn't as bad as I thought it was...'

They stopped outside a small restaurant and were quickly seated inside. Ayase giggled as Kanou squeezed into the small booth seat across from him. Despite the cramped seating arrangement, Kanou felt his spirit soar at the sound. Laughter was good, it meant that the blond was at least somewhat comfortable with him. Yet as soon as they ordered, an uncomfortable silence settled between them. Ayase bit his lip worriedly as Kanou pinned him with a serious gaze. "Why did you go Ayase?" he asked suddenly.

The blond looked down at the table, nervously twisting his napkin in his hands. Kanou waited patiently for his response, knowing that everything came down to what the blond said. "Kanou... I want to know, when you bought-" Ayase paused to clear the sudden lump in his throat, "when you took me to your house three years ago, why didn't you just let me go?"

Kanou frown, a little uncertain on what would be the best way to answer. "I just thought... that keeping you would be simpler. You didn't remember me at all and I-"

"That's another thing," Ayase interrupted then immediately blushed at Kanou's glower. Kanou did not like to be interrupted. Ayase flashed a small apologetic smile and continued. "You say we met before but you never told me when. For the life of me I can't remember and I want to know..."

Kanou shook his head. Their first meeting was something that changed his whole life, and he wanted it to be as equally memorable for Ayase. "That's something I want you to remember on your own."

Ayase sighed, knowing that if he tried to argue he would only lose. "Fine, it's not that important anyway. Just tell me... why keep me with you all this time?"

"Why did you leave me?" Kanou asked, ignoring Ayase's question, "I need to know what I did wrong."

"You didn't do anything wrong I just... I wasn't happy."

"What can I do to make you happy?" Kanou, feeling both frustrated and irritated with the lack of answers he was receiving.

"I...I don't know. It's nothing you did it's just... when I'm with you I don't even know who I am."

"Ayase I-"

Kanou was interrupted as the waitress brought their order. Ayase smiled in thanks but she scurried away quickly when Kanou shot her an icy glare. Ayase just sighed with a small shake of his head, thinking how some things never changed. Silence settled over the table, the younger male feeling uncomfortable under Kanou's intense gaze. "Ayase, was it that terrible staying with me?"

The blond set down his chopsticks. "No, it wasn't all terrible."

"Then why didn't you stay?"

"Because I didn't like who I was with you. I wasn't... I wasn't me when I was with you. You stole me right from my life, I didn't have time to figure out what I wanted to be or what I wanted to do."

"You didn't have to. I would have been able to-"

"That doesn't matter!" Ayase shouted, slamming his hands against the table. "It wasn't you decision to make, it was mine!

He gasped as the room became silent, Kanou as well as the other dinner patrons looking at him in surprise. He blushed as he stood, embarrassment making him want to run. Tears filled his eyes as he bolted for the door, needing air to clear his head. Kanou threw some money on the table, knowing it would be more than enough to pay for their half eaten meal, before he was chasing after the distraught blond. His long stride allowed him to catch up pretty quickly. Grabbing Ayase's arm, he spun him around to face him. Ayase collapsed against him, sobbing as he clung to the older man. "I d-don't know w-what's wrong with m-me!" he wailed, burying his tear stained face against Kanou's chest.

"There's nothing wrong with you." Kanou assured, crushing the blond to him in case he should try to run again.

"You just make me so mad and I-I... I just don't know what to do with you..."

Ayase knew he would probably regret allowing himself to be pulled into Kanou's arms, but he needed that comfort, no matter how short lived it would be. "Just come home with me Ayase." Kanou tried to coax, "We can work this out."

The blond stilled, taking a deep breath to try and regain his composer. He pushed Kanou away. "I can't go home with you, I just can't do it."

"We have to talk about this Ayase."

The younger male shook his head, taking a step back. "Not tonight. I can't do this now I just... I want to go home."

Kanou wanted to push, to drag Ayase away and demand answers. Pausing for a moment, he leashed his demanding nature to really assess the blond. He looked tired, more tired than he had ever seen him; and his eyes lacked the usual brightness that Kanou adored. Even if he did drag Ayase back, what kind of person would he be taking back with him? Kanou was really beginning to wonder if he ever even knew the blond at all.

"Let me go home Kanou." the blond pleaded, taking another tentative step back.

Every step away cut Ayase deeply, and he prayed that such pain didn't show. He didn't want to leave the shelter that Kanou offered, the safety and warmth that the older man promised. It would be so easy to give in, but that's why it was so important for him to walk away.

"At least let me walk you home." Kanou offered quickly.

Too tired to argue, Ayase nodded meekly and allowed himself to be lead away.

"-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-"

Homare sat in front of the okama shop, long after the images of Ayase and Kanou disappeared from his rear-view mirror. His thoughts were given free reign in his mind. All of his regrets, his mixed up; running endless circles until he thought he might just snap. He wasn't foolish enough to believe himself in love with Ayase, but maybe more of the idea of him. To have someone perfect, untouched by hate or greed. If Kanou was able to have such peace, then didn't he deserve it as well?

A knock on his window broke him away from his tormented musings. Looking up, he saw none other then the spitfire cross-dresser Skyler. The blond gave him a small smile and a little wave. Homare sat and stared at him for a moment, still a little lost in his own mind. It was eerie how similar the cross-dresser was to Ayase. The almost inhuman beauty they both possessed, and the same aura of vulnerability. But where there was honesty in the brightness of Ayase's eye, and all Skyler's held was a carefully guarded darkness. Yes, the boy was beautiful, even if a bit odd, but there was an air of falseness about him.

"You don't seem the type to prance around in dresses, but let me tell you, I'm freezing my ass off in this skirt." the blond said suddenly, raising an elegant blond brow as if to say 'Are you gonna let me in or stare at me all night?'

Homare shook his head to clear his thoughts. Now wasn't the time to be brooding. He'd give the young man a ride home, then return the to the office. Maybe getting lost in his work for a few hours would enable him to put this whole night behind him. He didn't want to think about Ayase or Kanou. He didn't want to think at all.

"Wow, and they told me chivalry was dead." Skyler teased when Homare opened the back door for him. The Kuba twin didn't reply.

The blond rolled his eyes at failing to get the older man to speak, and climbed inside. "Holy shit! This car is huge!" he exclaimed suddenly as Homare slipped back into the drivers seat, "I've had apartments smaller then this!"

Homare remembered Ayase making a similar observation once, though much quieter and with less foul language. He glanced into the back seat, startled to find his eyes connecting with Skyler's before hastily looking away. He didn't know why he felt so jumpy, but he didn't like. "Ah, so you do have a different setting other then 'emotionless bastard'."

Homare declined to comment, reminding himself that the blond would be out of the car, and out of his hair, in a short while. "Where do you live?"

"Kabuki-cho district please," Skyler replied, resting his hand on Homare's shoulder as he leaned forward in the seat, much to the older man's discomfort. "The Juu Building."

"It would be safest for you to remain in you seat." Homare said quietly.

Skyler smirked. "I'm sure you know more pit maneuvers then a whole police force. I have no doubt in my mind that I'm safe in your hands."

The Kuba gave his usual replay, which would be to say nothing at all. He heard Skyler give an undignified snort of frustration, before leaning back in the seat. Homare released the breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. He didn't like when people touched him, not even his own twin brother Misao. He didn't know why, but it was something that always bothered him. He wasn't flashy like Skyler, Someya, or any of the other okama's. He didn't like getting to know others like Ayase. He preferred to stand in the background, keeping his life and the company running smoothly.

Unlike Skyler, who could only stand the brooding silence for so long, before he was once more leaning forward in his seat to try and engage the stoic bodyguard into some form of a decent conversation. "So, how long have you known Ayase-kun?"

"Awhile."

Skyler rolled his eyes at such a vague answer, but figured it was at least something to work with. "I only met him yesterday but he's really nice. Weird that he's with that gloomy he-man Kanou, but that's totally not my business..."

Skyler waited for some type of reply but of course, received nothing. Not one to be ignored, he narrowed his dark blue eyes and then promptly punched Homare in the arm. Not injured, but very much surprised, the Kuba twin broke his usual apathetic attitude to level the annoyed blond his best glare. "What do you think you are doing?"

"What the hell is wrong with you? Are you not human or something?"

Homare frowned, trying to understand the fuming blond. "What?"

"Hey, if it wouldn't be to much trouble, why don't you take whatever pole you have shoved up your ass out and try and have a normal conversation for once your damn life!"

Homare exhaled through the tension he suddenly felt, resisting the urge to snap at the blond. Who the hell did he think he was? Skyler didn't even know him. "Why would you want to have a conversation with me in the first place?"

Skyler crossed his arms. "Well why not? Would talking be so bad?"

Quite possibly, but Homare wasn't about to comment on that. Skyler cast his eyes heavenward as if to say 'why me?'. "You really are a weird guy Kuba-san. Let me guess, your one of those 'mindless muscle' types."

Homare's grip tightened on the steering wheel, knowing he shouldn't be encouraging the blond to talk, but needing to reply. His pride was taking to many blows not to. "Whats that supposed to mean?"

Skyler smirked. " You know, the ones that could snap me in half, but don't have two brain cells to rub together. All you do is wait for the next order from your master and you never think for yourself."

Homare came to a sudden halt outside of Skyler's apartment building, feeling a mixture of rage and confusion over the blonds off-handed comments. He couldn't believe the younger male had the audacity to insult him when he had only just met him!

The blond exited the vehicle, not at all perturbed by the Kuba twin's sudden lack of politeness. Skyler knew he deserved the hostility, and a small part of him even welcomed it. He had seen Homare's types before, and they always where so interesting to know. The young man had found that usually the ones that seemed the quietest, where the ones with the most passion. It might not be very nice of him to tease the older man, but it was definitely something he found he liked to do.

Skyler leaned into the open driver's window, pressing a kiss to Homare's cheek and giving the surprised man a sweet smile. "Thanks for the ride home. It was really nice to meet you."

Any malice Homare might have felt seemed to melt as Skyler's sweet honeysuckle scent enveloped him. He was shocked by the warmth flooding his body, and the knowing smirk on the blonds face. "You know, your probably not as bad as you seem to be Kuba-san. If you want, your more then welcome to come to my place for a bit."

That comment was enough to snap Homare back to realty. There was no way that he would go up to Skyler's apartment! "I do not think that would be very appropriate." he murmured quietly, "I need to get-"

"Back to the office? Yeah I figured you'd say that."

Homare bristled at the younger male's know-it-all tone. "Come on," Skyler urged, "Can you not be a neanderthal for one night?"

The Kuba twin knew what kind of game the blond was playing. If he declined, then Skyler would think he was right in his assumption, and that was something Homare could not stand for. On the other hand, was he really going to risk staying with the blond, just to save his own pride?

"Well," Skyler asked, a sly look in his eyes, "What's it going to be?"

A/N: So, I hope everyone was happy with this chapter! I really worked my ass off and even sought out extra help for it! Seriously, A Dangerous Notion is an angel sent from heaven for putting up with me!

FYI, I posted an Okane Ga Nai one-shot titled 'Cemetery'! Check it out and drop a review!

Anyway, song used for this chapter is 'Stay' by Lisa Loeb. In my opinion it is the best song to fit this story. THE BEST! And I'm going to use another part of the song for another chapter too, but you'll have to wait for that.

Review Replies! REVIEWS ARE LOVE! SO SPREAD THE LOVE! Even if I don't mention you, know that your are a bright little star in my usually dark and bleak life! *emo pose*

AufCat: Ha ha ha! I am in no way a math wiz, so thanks for the somewhat scary tid-bit of information. My ass hurts in sympathy pain for Ayase. Thanks for your support!

NowakiStar: No! Torture the iPod until it works! And thanks for saying you like Skyler. I'm always unsure about the OC. Hopefully yours feelings will be shared with the rest of the readers.

Onige-a: Thanks for reading! Your wonderful! :D

the-bunnys-echo: Welcome to the fandom of Okane Ga Nai! Enjoy the wild ride! And thanks for saying you like the fanfic. Angst and humor is what I'm best at!

PixiFrog: Aw, you make me blush! Thank you so much. I might not always get the characters right, but I strive hard to get the flow of the story down. I hate reading grammatical headaches, so I never want to cause one!

lelalemon: Ha ha ha! I think you have a too nice of an image of me. I actually have surprised myself that I can crank out chapters so quickly! Hopefully I won't disappoint everyone too badly! Zomg, I actually did see this pretty purple kimono with these silver fish on it! It was so pretty!

Anyway, thanks for the lovely review!

NorthernTrash-x: Well, lets all pray I can keep updating frequently. Thanks for the support and for reading!