No Money, No Love

By: Witch Baby

A/N: I really have no excuse for my absence. Well, I mean, I didn't have internet connection for months and I did get a new job, but really, I was lazy and disillusioned about this fanfic. I had lost the plot and feeling for it. I apologize to all my fans, old and new, for my disappearance. So here I stand, humbly offering another chapter in hopes you will all put down your torches and pitch-forks. It's nothing special, but its another step and a promise that I will do my best to once more stick with this story to the end.

And now, without further ado, Chapter 11 of No Money, No Love...

EDIT AS OF 2-9-11: Fanfiction . net is fucking up my page breaks. Sorry folks but they're just lines. DAMN YOU LINES!

"Waking up to find another day, the moon got lost again last night
But now the sun has finally had its say, I guess I feel alright
But it hurts when I think, when I let it sink in
It's all over me,
I'm lying here in the dark, I'm watching you sleep, it hurts a lot...

And all I know is, you've got to give me everything
Nothing less cause, you know I give you all of me..."

Chapter Eleven: Give and Take

Ayase woke with a sense of... wrongness. It was something he wasn't used to. So much of this routine seemed familiar. Awaking to the early gray morning light, eyes falling on a still sleeping Kanou. It was something he never admitted, but he loved those moments. That someone so stern and powerful would look so at peace, just laying there in a world of his own. The soft snores and dream noises he would make, there was a sweetness there that the older male lacked in waking hours.

But this wasn't like any other morning.

Things had been said. Feelings had changed, and then changed again. He had left this man, only to return willing once more. Even after pouring over every detail and every possible outcome, he was no where closer to an explanation or a sense of understanding. He wasn't good at things like this. What was he supposed to do now?

He turned away, looking out to the small window on the other side of the room, and watched the shadows of the curtains dance across the floor in the early morning breeze. Wasn't things like this supposed to be simple? You know what you want, you dream of a life, and then you work towards making it happen. Things like kidnappings or gangsters weren't part of the equation. All he had wanted was a safe home and a family that he could love and love him in return. He had never expected to end up here, wrapped in another man's arms, the scent of sweat and sex still thick in the air and clinging to his skin.

Kanou was brash, angered easily, and left no room for augment. It was his way or the highway. He cursed, ordered others around, and even killed people. Yet... Ayase remembered his worried frown when the blond would get sick, or when he helped Someya and her girls out, even though he claimed to hate them. Kanou had pushed his way into Ayase's life, forcibly dragged him away from the things he had known, and then proceeded to wrap himself so tightly within Ayase, the blond couldn't imagine what kind of life he could have without him.

He felt Kanou stirring beside him, and he was quick to close his eyes, evening out his breathing in a desperate attempt to feign sleep. He wasn't ready to face him yet. He needed just a little more time before the inevitable happened...

He felt something brush lightly across his cheek; a tender hand or maybe a chaste kiss. Barely there for a moment, but it made Ayase ache with the familiarity of it. "Ayase..." he heard Kanou whisper, the single word holding more emotion then he thought Kanou ever capable of.

And for the first time, Ayase felt a small twist of guilt. He had to remember that he wasn't that only one involved in this. Every action had a reaction. If he ran, Kanou would chase,it was just the type of person he was. And if Ayase kept running, then nothing would ever be solved. Biting his lip as he heard the door shut softly behind Kanou, Ayase knew what he had to do...

Kanou frowned at the half empty cupboards in the kitchen. Ayase had left him for this? A run down piece of crap, hardly stocked and barely furnished? His feelings had been hurt (though even under death would he ever admit that), but now his pride was taking a hit too. Hadn't he treated Ayase right? Hadn't he provided anything the young male had ever wanted? 'Why are you doing this to me?'

"Do you need something?"

Kanou turned, eying the blond critically. Ayase was dressed in another of his oversized sleeping shirts, begging the question of if he was wearing anything else underneath. Kanou swallowed thickly and shook his head. "You have hardly anything to eat here. How can you manage alone?"

Ayase blushed in embarrassment, feeling a sting to his pride at the man's condescending tone. Things might not be nice but he felt he was doing fine for the most part. "I haven't been shopping yet." he said defensively.

"It doesn't matter anyway." Kanou replied with a dismissive wave of his hand, "We'll be at home soon enough."

Ayase paused, closing his eyes as he took a deep breath. Here it was, the start of the fight he knew he couldn't avoid. "Kanou... I'm not going with you..."

For a moment, it seemed the room dropped to a frigid temperature as Kanou stiffened, pinning Ayase with an angered gaze. But he didn't say anything, just continued to stare him down. The blond found that worse then the yelling. With anger, he could at least somewhat know what Kanou was feeling. The cold indifference... it was the same look he held a gun.

"Why?" he finally asked, voice soft and void of emotion.

Ayase's eyes fell to the floor, fingers nervously twisting the hem of his shirt. "I... I want to be here Kanou. I d-don't want to go back..."

"Why?" he asked again.

Ayase frowned. "I don't understand..."

Suddenly, he was pushed up against the kitchen wall, Kanou looming above him, large hands pinning him against the unyielding wall. Ayase yelped in surprise and pain as his head connected painfully with the wall behind him. "Kanou! What...?"

"Tell me why. What the fuck did I do so wrong?"

"K-Kanou stop! You're scaring me!"

"Answer me!" he hissed, slamming his hands against the wall right next to Ayase's head.

The blond flinched, whimpering in fear. He'd had Kanou angry at him before, but this was different. It was frighting, even as it left this heart shredded. "It's not y-you," he chocked out, the tears suddenly filling his eyes falling fast down his pale cheeks. "It's me. It's a-all me."

Kanou backed off a little, surprised at such an admission. "What?"

"I just can't d-do this anymore!" the blond sobbed, collapsing onto the floor, his head cradled in his hands, "I can't be the person you w-want me to be! I don't even know who I am! Why can't you see that? What else do you want from me?"

"Ayase..." Kanou whispered, reaching out to touch the younger male.

The blond flinched back, crying harder. "D-don't... just don't please..." he begged, " I can't do this anymore..."

If Ayase had looked, he would've have seen the pained expression on the older male. The flicker of regret and guilt in his dark eyes as backed away and left. But he didn't see those things. Instead, he sat there and wept. Even after his knees began to ache and it was hard to breath, he sat on the kitchen floor and cried. The real hard part for though, was that he really wasn't sure why.

Standing on the stairs outside of Ayase's apartment, Kanou sighed tiredly as the blond's sobs echoed in his thoughts. That wasn't the answer he was expecting. Maybe something about being a bully, or maybe something about the sex. It wasn't anything new for him. He could change.. or at least try to.. or at least promise. Anything at all.

Turning away, he pulled out his phone, dialing for Homare...

...only to receive no answer.

He glared at the device. His employee always answered the phone. Not wanting to waste too much time dwelling on Homare's sudden absence, he instead called Misao. "Yes sir?" he answered on the first ring.

"Meet me at that damn Okama's in ten." he replied, before snapping the phone shut.

As he did so, it immediately went off in his hands. "What?" he snapped.

"I'm apologize for not answering sir. Did you have need of me?"

Kanou growled. "Homare, where are you?"

For a just a second, he thought he heard a soft voice followed by an amused chuckle in the background before Homare quickly replied with, "Nowhere important sir."

As as he wanted to, Kanou didn't press the issue. He had bigger issues then what his bodyguards where getting up to on their off hours. "Meet me at the Okama's shop. Now."

"Yes sir. I'm on my way."

Once again, he thought he heard a voice whisper 'leaving so soon?', but left it up to his irritation playing ticks on him as he hung up and made his way to Someya's.

A/N: I feel a little bad that nothing really happens in this chapter. I mean, its my big come back chapter and... well... nada...

But, be happy the next chapter is already pretty much finished and about to be posted. I'm doing my hardest to try to stay with it, despite reality trying to keep me away!

A quick apology and note to A Dangerous Notion. I know you are supposedly the resident beta for NMNL, but after much consideration instead of sending it to you first, I went with what I had rewritten and posted it up. I didn't want to make everyone wait any longer. Seeing as how you read the first version, I hope this one much better to your liking. (I went with less crack and whining, and tried to be a bit more... mature... not sure if it worked though...)

Oh, and I've decided that my 100th reviewer will receive a special smut-tastical story of their choosing. Yeah, I'm one of those types of writers...

Until next time chicklets!

Review Replies! These ones mean the most, since these are the ones that have stayed even through my long absence! YOU'RE THE BEST FANS A FANFIC WRITER COULD ASK FOR!

Taihza: Aw, thanks for the adoration. It's my anti-drug!

Minnoru's Bookmark: I'm glad you think this is so well-written. I have so many issues with this story and regrets, so it's nice to think someone thinks I'm doing something right!

Dragon Lord09: Welcome to the wonderful world of Okane Ga Nai! I'm happy to welcome you!

Kitty in the Box: Ha ha ha! I loved your review. So many questions! I hope I answered most of them. Keep reading and reviewing! Oh, and even though I'm late, can I still get that Ayase cherry? :D

SeverusPotterSnape: I'm sorry for the delayed update. Can you forgive me? D:

Percygranger: Ahhhh I just love smart comments. They're like ice cream! Thanks for pointing out the grammar. Sometimes it's like English isn't my first language...

I think a lot of it too, is that rather then through emotion or talking, Kanou expresses himself through action (a.k.a sex). He does LOVE Ayase, in a weird, twisted sort of way. And he expresses it through sex.

Whatever happened to chocolates and flowers, neh?

Tankyasue: I cried a little. Your review meant so much to me! I'm happy that everyone is happy and it makes me strive to work harder!

As for Skyler and Homare... well, we'll have to see now won't we? *evil grin* I threw a bone about them a little bit in this chapter, but I really don't want to include Skyler too much. This story is Ayase's and Kanou's.

That isn't to say though, that I don't have a few tricks up my sleeve...

Onige-a: As long as I breath, the stories will never stop! Thanks for your review! You've been with me from the beginning and I always love your feedback!

A Dangerous Notion: Last chapter wouldn't have made it without you. This chapter would've been so much better had I not FAILED COMEPLETLY. Next chapter, neh?

Honorable mention to Sasu-Sama' Sarukji-Sempai, Radcat38, Splitmercury, Seiyalovesdango09, NowakiStar, Anastasiyafokina, FruitCat, and See1like. Thanks guys!