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Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or its characters. That honor belongs to J.K. Rowling.
Warnings: there will be talk of abuse and rape. Also this will be a snarry and there will be cross-dressing. If you don't like still read. I want your opinions. Harry will be 16 when he hooks up with Severus. Now possible Mpreg.
(AN: ok so I will have Sev aware that Harry is not who he looks like. He will NOT know that he is Harry…Yet. All he knows is that Esmeralda is a cross-dressing male so to prevent confusion I will be using male pronouns to describe from Harry's POV and female from everyone else's.
=^-^=)
`thoughts`
"speaking"
*Parseltongue*
Reading/written word
*ANY OTHER LANGUAGE THAN ENGISH
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Harry shook slightly as he exited Severus's rooms. Now that he was away from his mate, old fears started to descend upon Harry's mind. Harry fell down to rest on his knees on the ground. His mind slowly went over everything that happened. Harry's eyes start to tear up. Wondering if Severus will leave him, wishing for it to not happen, but knowing it will.
'What if he hates me for what and who I am? How can anyone love a worthless freak? What will I do?' Harry's thoughts were panicked and bordering on hysteria.
Tears fell down his face. In his mind, he was a freak who no one could love. That was what family had consistently told Harry for as long as the young man could remember. Even if he wasn't, wouldn't the Headmaster care for him? If he was really worth being taken care of Harry wouldn't be in a situation like this, with a family who hates him and the Headmaster out to get him.
For Harry, the idea that Severus could leave him was terrifying. Even though they had only been mates for a small amount of time, not even a day, Harry was already looking forward to living with the older man. Thinking about how life could be with his new mate caused Harry to slowly calm down, the panic subsiding. He so wanted that future in his head, with children, no war, and his mate by his side.
Slowly Harry picked himself up from his position on the ground. His walk was a little unsteady as he walked down the hallway. He should probably start on Severus's advice to search the library for info on their situation. At the end of the hallway, Harry looked around at the living area of his Mate's rooms.
His mates living area was just a bit smaller than the Gryffindor common room, with a door right across from where he was standing, a kitchen on the right, and two doors on the left. The furniture was done in red and brown tones and the décor was in shades of green. In front of a warm fire sat black leather chair that looked well used. It gave the impression of many nights spent sitting in front of the fire. Looking into the kitchen Harry noticed that it was well stocked in Muggle appliances. A surprise that Harry greatly appreciated, he had never learned to cook the wizarding way.
The entire atmosphere was warm and inviting, homey. Harry wouldn't feel overwhelmed like he did in Dumbledore's eccentric office, or out of place like the like at the cluttered Weasley home. How surprising that the only place the young man felt comfortable was in the home of his ex-most hated potions professor.
Harry went to a door on the left side of the room marked 'library' and entered. The room was a lot like the other in color theme, except for the huge bookcases filled with tons of books. In a corner, was a large table with three leather chairs. Notes and diagrams littered the area. All the books on the shelves were well worn and used. Dust was suspiciously absent from the room as well.
`Severus must care for and love books` Harry loved that he was seeing something new about his mate, even if it was just that Severus enjoyed books.
Harry quietly browsed the shelves and ran callused fingers over the soft leather, he read the distinctive lettering on each book. All seemed handwritten with varying styles and colors. The scent of old yet crisp parchment filled Harry's senses has he studied the tomes. It steadied him and reminded Harry of hours spent studying with Hermione. A couple caught his eye. They were side by side and a bright red color with lovely silver lettering. One title was Mates of the Soul and the other's was The Laws and Guidelines to a Modern Mated Couple.
Retreating to the table, Harry started to read the books. He started on the second, which was very informative yet read like an official document. It was also huge and boring! He skimmed over most of it. When it started to mention what the mates were allowed he tuned in.
All schools, businesses, government employees, legal entities, and so on must respect the bond between mates. It is a sacred practice enforced by the entity Magic and is to be respected. If one mate is in school, both mates are by law to be given personal lodgings on school grounds. If one of the pair is a teacher, the other will be given leave to live on site with the teacher. In the case of on older mate and a younger mate, allowances will be awarded for the younger to complete schooling. If one mate is a criminal, he/she must be charged with house arrest. Steps to divide mates is liable to be punished by death or what is the preferred choice of the dominate/elder mate. Interfering in a mate bond will lead to the same.
These laws were enacted by Lord Salazar Slytherin, at the beginning of the government seen today, to better protect those bound by magic. Punishments will be specified in accordance to law 67 paragraph C dash 3.
The second book was better and explained about the different types of mates, matings, and rituals. The book was about thirty chapters long, and looked to be thinner than the other, but thicker than most. Every few pages showed extremely detailed diagrams and hand painted illustrations. He finally found what he was looking for on the last chapter of the book. The chapter was only four paragraphs long, as if there was not a lot to say about it.
Mates of magic and soul are literally magic's gift towards her suffering children and also some of the rarer, most coveted types of mating. Few are powerful enough to warrant a pairing with someone to help ground them, and even fewer also need to have a mate. The mating ritual is based on how present magic is in a person as well as how much She (magic) believes her child needs a mate.
At first touch both mates are engaged, bonded, recognized by Magic herself, and none can abject. The mates are matches, partners if you will, of the soul, magic, and mind. Both partners complement each other in many ways. One is always more mature, protective, and guiding than the other. While the other, usually the sub or bearer, who is the most powerful, also has a history of many types of abuse. This is expected because this type of joining helps heal. This is Magic's way of helping her child in the only way allowed. Worst cases have been sexual abuse.
The moment of meeting, most physiological problems from all abuses, even rape, disappear during the time when the sub is unconscious. After the first touch the magic of the witch or wizard attempts to ready the sub for the eventual consumption of the bond. Consumption allows the mates to share magic, and in some cases build a psychic link, slowing them to share thoughts. The memories from both the muscles as well as those held by the mind disappear. The sub still knows that he/ is an abuse survivor, but the memory of all previous attacks is fuzzy and vague. Magic's way of best protecting the mind of her child. As time goes on, with close proximity towards the Dom, scars left over from the verbal and physical abuse disappear as well.
Harry dropped the book in surprise. He hadn't even realized that he'd never panicked when Severus touched him. The other night the young mate could only remember pure bliss and comfort. That had never happened; Harry had always panicked before, even with Mrs. Weasley's hugs. Never had Harry just had a break down about the verbal abuse. In the past, Harry had always panicked due to someone touching or looking at him the wrong way. He'd not even realized that verbal abuse left scars. Harry had always thought that his reactions to what people thought of him, the belief Harry had that he was a freak and unlovable, was a result of the sexual abuse.
He had to admit that he was happy he didn't have to worry about the rapes. Happy that the looming fears of another panic attack, which had always ended with him crying and vulnerable on the floor, was gone. The fear had always been there. The shame and acceptance, of what he had been told and the belief that he was weak, that to have it gone was, uplifting. No more flinching from the touch of a loved one, insane needs to scrub all his skin of his body, or thoughts that he was a whore and was dirty. Harry was free. No matter the fact that he had to deal with the other aspects of abuse, the sexual abuse was gone, as if it had never happened.
Harry couldn't help but be thankful.
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Severus's POV
Severus stared at where his young mate had been a moment before. Humored that she had such an influence on him already, that he ignored the fact she was a man. Severus was honestly ecstatic as well. Never had he had a chance like this. To fall for someone and to have his mate in turn, always be there for him. Unlike Lily were a simple word drove her away.
The potions master had never had the greatest of childhoods and never believed that his adult life would be any different. He had always been treated as scum, by his father, peers, and even some of his students, so Severus had started to believe it as well. Everyone he had in his life, only cared about the man for what he could do, or cared as long as it didn't get them killed. Esmeralda gave him hope. The hope that he was more than what Severus was taught to believe.
The potions master was walking on cloud nine as he went to change into some comfortable clothes more suited to home than the stiff clothes Severus was wearing from his morning trip to Gringotts. It wasn't until he had finished that reality came crashing down.
His dear mate was sure to be in danger.
Severus had two Masters, and both would do anything to keep him from happiness. One sane and manipulative and the other a brilliant sociopath, yet both controlled his life. Each man knew that Severus played both sides, and it was due to his skills as a potions master that the man had not met an early death. If they found out about her, they would surely take advantage of the new way to control Severus.
`I have to do something about those two men. The only way to do that would be to find the Potter boy. Damn it all! Severus wanted nothing to do with that damn boy.
Potter was a brat with no regards to rules and followed the headmaster like a fucking bunny after a carrot. Even James, the boy's father, was the same, always doing what the Headmaster said so he could get away with more and have more. Not to mention all the poor girls he had probably left in the wake of his….exploits.
`The Fucking-Boy-Who-Lived.Severus sneered in his head That boy for too long now had a whipping coming to him and I hope that I am there to see it.
Nothing the Potter spawn could do would change Severus's mind. It didn't matter that the boy was always quite outside of his dungeons, or that no one had come forth with proof of being with him. All Severus knew was that the boy looked like a carbon copy of James Potter and that he could recognize Potter anywhere (AN: Hahahaha. Anyone get that?)
To protect his precious happiness, Severus would have to find the brat and get Potter to take life seriously. `Stupid brat. `
Pissed off, Severus stalked out of his room to join his Little Mate. Looking around, he saw the door to his library open. He found her in one of his Favorite corners of the library. The irate potions master smiled a bit at the sight of Esmeralda, he calmed at seeing that she was safe.
Walking over, Severus saw Esmeralda standing over a book with a shell-shocked look on her face. Worried, he hurried over to her faster. Severus was worried when Esmeralda didn't acknowledge him, her expression far away.
Picking up the book, Severus read the page she was on in hopes to discover was sent his mate into this state. What he read made him see red. During the point of first touch, he had felt her mind changing. The only explanation would be that Esmeralda had been … had been raped.
'Who the FUCK touched my mate?'
Severus took a moment to collect his anger; it wouldn't do to scare her. Not if they were going to spend their lives together or if Severus ever wanted Esmeralda to talk to him at all. The way that he handled this now would greatly affect how she acted towards the older man the rest of their lives.
"Esmeralda, pray tell, who was the fucking scumbag… that harmed you?" his voice, surprisingly, was calm.
Harry looked at his mate and thought, 'oh fuck.'
+*+…*+*
TBC