No Money, No Love

By: Witch Baby

A/N: Sorry for the long wait. No excuse 'cept to blame writers block. And I was in a rush to get this out so I really didn't check it too well so don't be surprised if you find a lot of mistakes. I promise to fix them later. Enjoy.

"Staring deep into your eyes,

Searching for answers to questions I can't find

If I took for granted that I held your heart,

I'd beg forgiveness, but I don't know where to start

So, draw me a map that leads me back to you,

I don't know where to go, please tell me what to do

Help me find the road your on,

I just need directions home

Draw me a map that leads me back to you..."

Chapter 14: ...you set it free

It was hours later when Kanou finally left Someya's office. Anyone could see how much more subdued the man was, almost beaten down. Someya had done her best to encourage him to keep trying, but Kanou had been eerily quiet for the rest of their talk.

They were driving now, Homare at the wheel and Misao at his side. Kanou hadn't said a single word since his quiet command of 'just drive' when they had first left. The twins exchanged a look, their equivalent to being worried. This was so unlike their boss, and if they were honest, it was downright scary.

Misao glanced his brother, brow raising as if to say, 'Aren't you going to say something?'

It was common knowledge that Homare was the more talkative of the two. The male knew his brother was right, that he should maybe try to talk to Kanou. He might have been their boss, but in an odd way, he was also their friend. Homare may not always agree with Kanou, but they had been through so much together, it wouldn't be right for him not to say something. His own feelings might be more then a little confused, but he could push that aside for professionalism. It was what he had always done in the past after all. "Sir?" he asked quietly.

"Yes?"

Homare paused, uncertain of what to say or do. "Have you... chosen where you would like to go?"

Kanou's eyes met Homare's briefly in the review mirror. He could see the slight concern in the twin's gaze, the hesitancy in wanting to pry but unsure if now was the right moment, "I just need to gather my thoughts for a moment." he assured. Homare nodded and said nothing more as Kanou turned away.

It was hard for him, all of this 'coming to terms' business. However, Someya, for all her irritating antics, was right. He had lost sight of what was truly important when it came to Ayase. He had cared in the beginning, he had cared so much and agonized over every detail. When had that stopped? When had he taken Ayase's silence as just another form of acceptance?

He used to wonder what the blond was thinking. When he would catch him doing nothing more than staring wistfully out the window. When he would begin to stutter out a sentence, only to stop himself and turn away. Kanou used to demand answers, because Ayase never seemed to say what he was really feeling. When had Kanou stopped yearning to know?

Ayase had changed. It had been slow and subtle, but Kanou couldn't deny it anymore. Why hadn't he seen that? Was it because he hadn't wanted to, or because Kanou really didn't know Ayase as well as he thought?

It was there now, right in his face. He couldn't turn away from it, especially after last night. His Angel had been so beautiful, so willing. Kanou hadn't been able to figure it out what had been so different, but he knew now. Ayase had wanted him on his own terms, not on Kanou's. Ayase had opened his arms and his heart, and for a moment Kanou had felt what it was really like for Ayase to give his everything.

He couldn't even call it sex anymore. It was so much deeper, so much more. Kanou wasn't a silly romantic, he didn't use words like 'making love'. But for that night, Kanou hadn't just held Ayase's body, he'd held his heart too.

And now that he had tasted it, he couldn't do without it anymore.

Underneath all the anger, all the pain, Kanou could even admit he was a little proud of Ayase. He had grown up without Kanou ever seeing it. He had stood up to Kanou, had outsmarted him and escaped. No one else in the world could ever say they had done anything close to what Ayase had done.

That was why he was precious. That was why Kanou could never have anyone else.

Kanou had gotten stupid, he could admit that much, and had let the most perfect person slip through his fingers. Now he would pay for his mistakes, swallow his pride, and try to fix whatever had broken between them.

He knew deep down that it couldn't be completely hopeless. Last night was a perfect example of that. If Ayase truly hated him, he wouldn't have invited him inside, wouldn't have had sex with him. That meant a small part of Ayase still cared.

"Take me to Ayase's." he commanded softly.

If Ayase could change, so could Kanou.

"So..."

"... 'So' what?"

Skyler rolled his eyes, nudging Ayase's arm playfully as they made their way to the younger blond's apartment. "Are you gonna spill or not?"

Ayase frowned in confusion. "Spill about what?"

"Mr. Tall Dark and Scary! I know there is some juicy story in there somewhere!"

Ayase swallowed nervously, knowing Skyler must be talking about Kanou. He averted his gaze, finding a smudge on his sneakers very interesting all of a sudden. Skyler was proving to be a good friend, but Ayase wasn't ready to talk about that time. He still had nightmares sometimes, flashbacks of that awful night. Rough hands grabbing him, feeling dizzy and sick as he was spread out naked on a stage, yelling and cheering from a faceless crowd, and then... then..

"Hey, are you all right?" Skyler stopped him, gently touching his arm.

Ayase flinched, stepping away from the concerned male. "Stop!"

Skyler's dark blue eyes widened in surprise at the sudden outburst. He raised his hands in a peaceful gesture, taking a step back from the startled blond. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to surprise you..."

"I-it's all right. I... I just was lost in thought..."

Skyler nodded, watching the other male silently as he caught his breath and calmed himself. "I didn't mean to ask such a personal question. That was rude of me."

"It's fine... it's just... not something I like to think too much about..."

They continued walking again in silence, Skyler sending concerned glances to an Ayase who was somewhere a million miles away.

Ayase never liked to think about how he and Kanou had met. A lot of it he didn't remember, but the parts that he did...

He swallowed back the rising sickness as the memories began to creep once more. Kanou standing above him, a dark look in his cold eyes. Kanou, talking, saying horrible things about his family. Even if they were true, he hadn't want to believe them. That was his family, they were supposed to love him and keep him safe.

Then Kanou's anger, the ripping of his shirt and the echoing sound of buttons falling onto the hardwood floor.

And then a blur of hot breath on his neck, teeth biting at his skin.

And then pain. So much pain.

"Ayase!"

Ayase jumped in surprise as he was pulled back, the blaring of a horn from a car as it raced over the spot he had just been standing in. He landed in an awkward heap on the sidewalk, tangled with a very worried and irritated Skyler. "Are you crazy? You almost got run over! What the hell were you thinking?"

"I'm s-sorry... I didn't m-mean to..."

Skyler sighed, eyes rolling skyward as if asking for some divine assistance. "It's fine, accidents happen."

Standing, he brushed the dirt from his jean cut-offs, extending a hand to help the shaken blond to his feet. "Just be more careful next time, all right?"

Ayase nodded, allowing Skyler to take his hand and lead him down the sidewalk. He was still eerily quiet as they entered the small apartment, to the point where Skyler was ready to explode if the normally friendly blond didn't start talking soon.

He felt bad now for bringing up a subject that was obviously so painful. The blond was just so curious as to how someone so seemingly sweet and innocent got caught up with someone like Kanou. What was their connection? Ever since Someya had asked him to talk to the brute, his interest had been piqued. And then after meeting Homare and...

Shaking his head too clear his thoughts, he set to making tea, frowning at his half empty cupboards.

"Have you ever heard of Stockholm Syndrome?"

Skyler turned, brow raised in question at the other male's seemingly random statement. "Yes. It's where a victim falls in love with their kidnapper, right?"

Ayase nodded, head hung as he stared at the table top. "I read about it once, in one of my college classes. At the time I really didn't understand what it was. How could someone fall in love with someone that has hurt them so much?"

Something about his tone of voice made Skyler uneasy. Was he saying Kanou had kidnapped him?

"I think I can understand a little now. When someone becomes everything, when they control everything, all your pain or your pleasure, there really is no leaving that so easily."

Skyler sat across from Ayase, taking his pale hand in his and giving it a gentle squeeze. Ayase looked up, watery blue eyes looking into Skyler's own dark blue. "Sometimes bad things happen to good people." he said softly, the pained look on his face almost an exact mirror to Ayase's own, "Sometimes those that are supposed to love you and take care of you, are the ones that hurt you the most. That's life, Ayase. That is reality."

Ayase shook his head, a few tears trailing down his cheek. "I can't do this by myself Skyler. I don't know how. I'm not strong like you."

The younger blond laughed bitterly, turning away. "Don't be mistaken Ayase, no one is as strong as they seem. Everyone is vulnerable, has weaknesses."

Ayase thought of Kanou, his strong profile, the wild look in his eyes. It was hard for him to believe anything could hurt him.

"But you learn," Skyler continued, "And you adapt. You fight and you live your life."

"I made a mistake," Ayase said suddenly, "I did something I probably shouldn't have, and I don't know how to fix it."

"Only you know whats best for you Ayase, I can't tell you more then that. Only you know how far you can take something."

He turned away, looking off towards the single window in the small kitchen. "I've done things I'm not proud of," he said softly, "I do things still that probably aren't the best. But I take it without a complaint, and I survive."

His eyes finally returned to Ayase's, gaze intense, as if trying to convey something he couldn't exactly say out loud. "I told you that you can either be a victim or a fighter. Will you fight Ayase? Or will you give up?"

Ayase bit his lip, thinking of the past few days. Finding his own place, doing what he wanted, learning how to defend himself. He looked at the male in front of him, so much like himself that it was scary. He thought of Kanou, of wanting him without fear or uncertainty. He thought of Someya, putting herself on the line for him, and the helping hand she had extended during his hardest times.

This wasn't about Someya though, or Skyler or Kanou. This was about him, and what he wanted most.

"I want to fight."

A/N: Nothing else to say. Review please.

Review Replies! I'm depressed, feed me more reviews.

Maddie-Chan96: Haha! Welll, I'm glad this entertains 40 year old women too!

PrincessAmioki: A HomareAyase fan, huh? I kind of cheer for him too. I'm really happy that he's becoming more involved in the manga. Ex-delinquent/ sort of like Tokyo drift driver... who knew? Maybe I'll think of something for a HomareAyase fanfic. I'll talk to the plot bunnies.

AGE FAIL! *face palm*

A Dark Secret: WoOt! Love the Skyler fans!

SPELLING FAIL! *face palm*

A Dangerous Notion: …. owies...

You have a very valid point. I blame the fact that I think I was trying to put in too much comic relief. I hoped I cleaned it up a little in this chapter. I'm thinking I might go back and rewrite chapter 13, but at a later date. Because you are sooo write.

PLOT FAIL! *face palm*

Tankyasue: Ahhh thank you so much! Your reviews are always the best to read! I'm really glad that you've stuck with the story and keep giving such great feedback. :3

Onige-a: Love you! And your reviews! Haha!

Kitty in the Box: Oh! I wanna be Kanou's pet too! Hahaha! Love your reviews! KEEP 'EM COMING!

Honorable Mention: Percygranger, NowakiStar, Telayla, and Kaykat!

Even if I didn't mention you, you are loved and I draw your name in little hearts! :3