Chapter Five

A Good Sense of Smell

"Nikki! Great to see you! It's been…"

"A while!" Nikki supplied, and smiled at her friend Claire in her party hat, low cut top and strappy sandals, she felt Harry smirk behind her.

"Come on in!" Claire exclaimed leaning forward, revealing even more of her cleavage.

"You look good..." Nikki began.

"I know, I had them done. A thirtieth birthday present to myself. Aren't they great?" She jiggled her boobs and gave Harry a look.

"Lovely…" but Nikki was interrupted again.

"And look, you brought me a present!" Claire continued as her eyes raked up and down Harry's body and then flicked back up to Nikki.

"You did bring me a present didn't you?" she asked her eyes darting between the two of them, questioning the availability of the man standing next to Nikki.

Nikki held out a bottle of champagne. "Happy Birthday!"

"Oh," said Claire without disguising her disappointment. "Thanks for the champagne."

Harry looked around, the party was not that different to the student party he'd gate crashed only a day or so before. Only that time he'd bought his way in with a couple of bottles of £2.99 supermarket red not some overpriced champagne. He sniffed at the punch and pulled a face, grabbed himself a bottle of beer and poured Nikki a glass of wine.

"Why did you decide to come?" Nikki asked him as they found a quieter space in the corner of the lounge.

"What do you want me to say?" Harry asked catching sight of Claire's curvaceous profile behind Nikki's head.

"The truth?" Nikki suggested.

Harry rubbed his face with his hand, there was a lot of 'truth' that he'd omitted from his version of the events surrounding Anne's arrest. Most of which he wasn't proud of. He'd forgotten how cold Anne was. Yes he had gone to bed with her; he'd gone to the house all those years ago to beg to be allowed to see Penny again after they had split.

'I'll do anything just to see her again,' he'd said.

'Really?' had come the reply, but Anne had never stuck to her end of the bargain. She'd only ever thought of her own agenda.

"It's just that while you've been out on your field trips, I've been stuck at the office with Leo breathing down my neck and checking up on me and you. He's been following me around with that look."

"Which one?"

"The 'I know but I'm not telling,' one."

"You think he thinks there's something going on between us? What did he say?" Harry asked, the chaos of the last week finally retreating as he drank his beer.

"One of the more memorable ones was 'You're both adults, technically at least.'"

"I'm sorry Nikki, I didn't mean for it to get so bad."

"I'm sorry too. She was beautiful. Do you think you could have been happy if you'd stayed together?"

"I wouldn't be where I am today." Harry replied.

"No, you wouldn't."

"But?"

"How could I know? I told Anne that 'In another life; I'd have tried to love her better,' but would it have been enough?"

They sat in silence and people watched. There was less snogging at this party, Harry decided, but the dancing was almost as bad. He spotted Claire again across the room and she gave him a wave, the party hat still teetering on top of her head as she danced.

"So why did you come?"

"Because… Because. Because I needed to be out of the office. Because I feel bad about sabotaging dinner the other night, to apologise for my rudeness, for my…my…" He couldn't even bring himself to go down the list it was so bad. He threw his hands through his hair, "You did not deserve any of it. I'm sorry."

"It's been a difficult week." Nikki said; she ran her finger along the top of her wine glass as she felt her heart sink.

"And because…" Harry continued. "And because for once I have a chance. A chance to get it right and I think if I don't get this right now then I may never get this chance again."

"A chance for what?"

"A chance to be normal."

"Eh?"

"A chance to have a normal life."

"Harry, how on earth do you think you can live a normal life? You cut up corpses for a living!" Nikki laughed.

"That's not what I mean. All this with Penny, it made me think. I've never really thought seriously about having children, not been in a position to but with Simon… I really thought…"

"It's alright Harry, I understand." She put down her drink and folded her arms, protecting her heart from any more hurt."

"It's more than just that," Harry continued and looked up at her profile rather than across the room.

"I know I'm not really going to have a normal life but coming out with you tonight, it's like a second chance."

She turned to face him and wordlessly asked him to continue.

"A chance to be with you, before you find out any more about me and run screaming to the hills and as far away from me as you can get. Nikki, I have been vile to you this week and yet you still asked me out. I am not going to let this chance go. I don't want to get stuck in the past anymore. I don't want to put the dead before the living and I don't want to let my work always get in the way of my life."

"So you don't fancy a 'monogamous commitment to your profession'," Nikki asked and tugged at the top of her boots.

"No, I don't. But work will get in the way. It will destroy any relationship with someone who doesn't understand all the job entails, what it's like. What it does to your head." Harry explained.

Nikki tipped her head to one side and searched his eyes for what he was actually trying to say but didn't reply.

"You'd understand," Harry suggested.

She dropped her gaze. Just being the one who was there, who could put up with his temper and understood the job; that wasn't really the stuff of a girl's dreams.

"Nikki, I really want to make this work with you. I… want… I erm," Harry gave up and looked at her imploringly hoping that all he hadn't said was clear to her. "I just want…" He gave up again.

Nikki unfolded her arms and crossed her legs but didn't help him.

"Leo already thinks there's something going on!" he spluttered. "I… You're…"

"Being liked?" Nikki suggested and grinned at him, she couldn't stand his misery and inarticulacy any longer. She stretched out her top leg, the light caught in the patent leather creating diamonds of light. She heard Harry take in a loud breath.

"The boots did it for you?" she asked eyebrow raised.

"Not just the boots," Harry replied his insides twitching with the memory.

She gave him a half smile.

"Are you disappointed?" Harry asked.

She shook her head and studied his reaction.

"Why?" she asked slowly.

"I mean I'm sorry my fetish isn't for dried produce."

She tipped her head to one side and grinned, it was another Harry Cunningham one liner to divert the conversation from anything serious, she'd thought they were past all that. But then through the dimness of the mood lighting she noticed the burning look in his eyes. The one she'd seen earlier when she'd dressed in front of him.

"Harry!" she exclaimed and rotated her ankle again. "The boots?" She paused. "Really?"

Harry shrugged and raised an eyebrow.

She stroked her hand down the length of the leather and watched him swallow, his eyes wide. He nodded.

"You ready to go? Nikki asked, looking round at a room of people she hardly recognised and had no interest in talking to.

"Yes, I am." Harry replied.

And I know it comes later, but watched 'Peripheral Vision,' recently and EVERY pair of shoes/boots/footwear Nikki wears gets screen time to themselves. It's also the episode where she pulls the noose she is demonstrating around H's neck and declares, "Secretly I think you like it." I rest my case. Feel free to disagree, you know where the button is!