Deadpool: So, Mary Jane is a succubus. That might be worth my soul.

Scott: Weren't you married to her new mother?

Deadpool: Exactly, adoptive mother. Plus you think incest has ever stopped demons?

Scott: Whatever…Not gonna happen.

Deadpool: (Pulling a Madmax style sawn-off twelve gauge points it at Scott's head) try that again

Scott: Not gonna work. I'm the writer

Deadpool: (Pulls the trigger, the shot gun just clicks, pulls again, nothing. Looks down barrels and both shells hangfire)

Scott: (shaking head) Never mess with the writer Wade

Deadpool: Quesadillas! (sits up as his brains reform) That was rude.

Scott: (shrugs) You pointed the gun at me. Now give them the disclaimer and I'll make some actual Mexican to have with our Absinthe Gummy bears

Deadpool: Fair enough. Scott the Wanderer does not own Marvel Comics or any associate characters. This is Fanfiction and he makes no money from this. Can I be in the story?

Scott: Later and if you behave, I'll let you have a new toy to play with.

"UGH!" Spider-man groaned as he picked himself from the rubble. ~Leave it to me to go from a nice visit with Wanda to attempting to stall Abomination.~ Spider-sense blaring, he back flipped over a hurled taxicab. "Well, I guess yellow is not your weakness." ~I have got to fight smarter. I'm not sure when back-up will get here. Hmm, perhaps a little dip will cool him off.~ Leaping over another piece of flying debris, Spider-Man takes care aim and fires a pair of web bullets into the exposed gills on Blonsky's neck. ~Here's hoping that this works.~ "Hey, Blonsky. Want to help me rehearse Swan Lake?"

"You annoying arachnid. I WILL CRSUH YOU!" The Abomination completely forgot about attempting to clear his tender gills of the webbing. Instead the brute charged, intent on reducing the wallcrawler to a red and blue smear on the pavement.

"Finally, a villain gets it right and it's one of Hulk's sparring partners." Spidey quipped as he readied the next part of his pain. Palming two Hulk-Strength webbing capsules the Wallcrawler waits to the last moment to move. Flipping over Abomination he hurls one capsule at the lumbering brutes head and the other at the back of the knees. In a split second Abomination is covered in thick webbing. ~That will only last a minute, better act fast.~ Sending out a web line Spidey snags the cocoon and using every bit of strength has hurls him into harbor. "And what do the judges say? Oh my, obviously the Russians were not impressed."

"Well the Russians might not be, Webs, but I thought that was perfect." Benjamin Grimm, otherwise known as the Thing landed on the already ruined pavement with a loud thud. "Ya know he's got gills, right?"

"Yes, but I clogged them. If we are at all lucky, he'll be in Suspended Animation before he can get out of that webbing." Spider-man nodded as he saw the Fantasticar carrying Reed and Sue followed by Johnny coming in. "Well, glad you guys could make it. Sue, you think you could lift our buddy Blonsky out of the harbor before something eats him?"

Whatever response Sue had was interrupted by the arrival of several Humm-Vee bearing the insignia of the Hulkbuster units. It doesn't take a genius to understand that General Ross was going to bulldoze his way into taking Abomination away. Already soldier were piling out of vehicles carrying heavy weapons powerful enough to give even Ben pause.

"Your Country thanks you, but we'll taking it from here." As predicted the Thunderbolt Ross assumed the Fantastic Four and Spider-man would just step out of his way. When none of them budged, mostly because they knew that Ross hated Abomination more than he hated the Hulk. "Are we going to go through this every time? Fine, I am here as part of the United States Army to detain Emil Blonsky until a treatment for his condition can be found. Killing him would be a waste of resources, no matter how satisfying it would be personally."

"Your call, Spider-man." Reed Richards shrugged as he really had no investment in this. He knew the Wall Crawler was loathe to trust the military, but Ross had never lied to them before. When the man was going to screw you over he told you right to your face.

"You can have him." Spider-man said after several tense seconds. "The Raft is secure, but I'd rather not test the theory that it could hold everyone. Now if you will excuse me, it has been a long day. Your friendly neighborhood Spider-man is heading home."

With only a nod of acknowledgement, General Ross began directing his troops in securing the Abomination. Something he pointedly did not accept any help for. Of course, nobody was really offering help either as none of the FF could stand the General.

"Ah, Home Sweet Home." Peter Parker announced more to himself than anyone else as he slipped in the window. He'd been doing well enough lately that he finally had an apartment with it's own bathroom. Walking to his fridge he pulled out a carton of milk, and sniffed. ~Still good.~ He then began chugging the half gallon. Setting it down, he let out a small belch. "Excuse me."

"Well, as bachelors go that is certainly better behavior than most." The very amused voice of Wanda Maximoff came from the area of his hide-a-bed sofa. "And your apartment is spotless. Not even Vision was this clean."

"GAAAAHHH!" Peter let out a very unmanly bellow. Of course he had leapt at the same time and was now standing on the ceiling. He was too used to his Spider-Sense warning him of possible danger. He'd forgotten it only helped warn him of other people if they meant him harm. "Are you trying to kill me? How'd you get in?"

"Wow. I thought only cats jumped like that when they're startled." Wanda chuckled as she looked up at the webslinger. "Killing you would ruin all my fun ideas. As for getting in, I might have hexed your door lock. I might have also hexed the milk, it almost sour cream when I arrived."

Letting himself drop to the floor again, Peter Parker tried to send his invited guest a glare, but found it impossible as she was still chuckling. ~Okay, which part of the Parker Luck is this going to be.~ "So, not that I will ever complain, but what brings such a lovely lady to my place tonight?"

"Well, certainly not the décor." Wanda chuckled as she gestured to the bare walls. "Well, it struck me that my Townhouse is big and lonely. Great for if you want to be depressed, not so much for trying to move on. So, I was looking over the short list of people I trust. Lo and Behold, you are not only my first choice as roommate, but the only one that does not bring in a love interest…unless of course I read things wrong and you have a boyfriend somewhere."

"Nope, not gay no matter how much Jean-Paul wants me to be. So, you broke into my apartment…"

"Your door was completely unlocked."

"…broke in my apartment to ask me to move in with you?" Peter wasn't the least upset, despite the invasion of privacy. Wanda was not the first person to break into his place. Most of them just drank his beer and complained about the lack of food in his cupboards. That was before they told him that they needed help. "Hmm, I don't suppose you could bend reality just a smidge and make it so I never unpacked? I only moved in a month ago."

"Is that a yes?" Wanda asked before she would answer. She still had the memories of mastering her powers to levels well beyond what Peter was asking. ~He's harder to read than my father. Unless he's lying, Peter truly is the world's second worst liar.~ Adopting the puppy dog eyes and pout she had learned from Jessica she tried emotional blackmail. Of course she also used Jessica's other lesson of making sure she properly framed her cleavage. The dual assault was enough to make most straight men crumble instantly. "Please don't make me beg."

"Aaahhh, that should be illegal. It's bad enough Jess does that, now she is spreading the secret around." Peter knew it was too late to say no. The moment Wanda had broke out the pout he was done for. "Fine, fine you win. I'll move in."

"Good, I was afraid I was going to have to resort to truly dirty methods, like renting the apartment next door." Wanda quickly tucked away both the pout and puppy dog eyes. "Just pack your costumes and I will get a moving company here tomorrow. A little reality twist and voila, you'll be moved in before noon."

~Aunt May is going to kill me!~ Peter was just a tad apprehensive. She had not been pleased when he had moved in with Mary Jane despite them being in a relationship. Moving in with Wanda was going to bring about a series of lectures he would rather never hear again.

"You have failed me, Mephisto." The gravelly voice of the cloaked figure chilled even this pit of Hell. "Your plan eliminate the Sculptor of Chaos has failed. She has allied with the Spider. This is unacceptable." The figure reached out with one massive clawed hand wreathed in black rimefire and laid it on the Lord of Lies' chest. As the Demon Lord convulsed in the agony of temperatures just above absolute zero, the gravelly voice spoke again. "Do NOT fail me again, Demon. I may decide you have no value if your bumbling persists."

The US Military had finally learned from the many mistakes it had made trying to house ultra-strong beings like the Hulk, Abomination and the Juggernaut. They studied each being's strengths and weaknesses and tailored cells and protocols just for them. The Hulk called for the use of gasses designed to place the rage fueled powerhouse in a euphoric state. The Juggernaut restraints were designed not to let him move even a micron. As for the Abomination's cell, it was flooded with Halon gas displacing the normal atmosphere completely. True each cell had adamantium frames and vibranium sheathing, but those were secondary systems. Currently only the Abomination's cell was being used, thanks to the Hulk being missing and Juggernaut supposedly reformed.

"Beautiful isn't he General? His body automatically goes into a sort of suspended animation to preserve the brain and other tissues. His cells are actually operating complete on anaerobic processes." Doc Samson smiled as she examined the data being gathered. "If we could duplicate this, we could send sleeper ships to distant world without using alien FTL drives. But that is not why you are here."

"How you can find anything about that monster beautiful, I will never know." General Ross nearly spat in disgust as he referred to the Abomination. "You told me that with one of those…things you could reverse engineer what happened with Banner. As much as I hate to admit it, the Hulk has uses."

"I will improve on the original in every way, General. Rest assured." Samson replied with grin. "I shall begin immediately. I assume you do not mind a vivisection of Blonsky's brain. It might hold the key to our new Hulk retaining their wits."

"Whatever it takes, Samson, Whatever it takes." Ross felt a little sick using a friend's mental instability against him, but aside from Banner, Samson was the only person capable of this type work. "You might be interested to know we have a sample of Spider-man's blood found in some wreckage. It reads only slightly less radioactive than Abomination's blood."

"Oh, this could be fascinating." Samson was intrigued. "He is not as powerful as the Hulk, but his alterations would prove invaluable in producing perfect spies."

Tony Stark lazily swirled his glass of scotch. Today he personally loaded Bruce Banner into a one way trip out of the Sol system. He wondered just how soon his friend would realize that he was not coming back. ~Will it be when he hits the edge of the time anomaly? Will it be when he discovers most of the fuel had been replaced with food and potable water? Or will it be when he tries lift off again from that planet?~ No matter when it was Stark knew in his heart he would not be forgiven. Nor did he think he should be. Only Xavier spoke out again Reed and Pym's plan. Stark had just sat back and let the Professor try to persuade the two super geniuses. When Namor and T'Challa agreed with it, Stark did not object, despite the fact he knew this would come back and bite them in the ass.

"Good luck my friend. I hope you find a happier life out there than you had here." Tony Stark toasted to the happiness of a friend he betrayed before downing the triple as if it were nothing.

Reed Richards began writing a long string of equations on his particle physics board. ~I lost so much time on that foolish endeavor. I informed them we were not needed. Spider-man is quite capable and if not, well there are the Avengers.~ For the last few years Reed has been slowly coming to despise anything that pulled him from the laboratory or his experiments. At first it had just hating all the attacks on the Fantastic Four. It progressed to attacks on New York in general. Then it was the demands of charity work. Then it became the meetings he had to attend outside the Illuminati. Lately he was spending more and more time isolated from his family. He was being consumed with his theories to the point he slept in the lab most nights. Others had finally started noticing, but were sure it just a phase. They had not seen the slow progression, so they were not sure anything was wrong. As for Reed even if he thought that something might be wrong, he wouldn't change anything now. ~Ah, here we are. That should be a neutral charge there.~ He thought to himself as he erased a mistaken symbol. ~Really, I would have been done with this already if Susan had not insisted I tag along.~

"Reed, are you coming to bed?" Susan Richards tried her best to get the attention of her husband. She'd spent nearly five hundred dollars in Victoria's Secret to put together her current ensemble. Usually a night of romance would snap Reed out of whatever was bothering him. She wasn't sure what was wrong. She just knew she had been spending the last three months alone. "Johnny has Franklin and Valeria distract for the next twelve hours at least."

"I will be there in an hour, Susan." Reed said exasperation clearly showing in his voice. He had learned a while ago if he made it look like his work was bothering him, his wife would just let him continue. He hadn't even spared his wife a glance, so missed the hurt look that had passed over her face for a moment. "I just want o finish this part, then I promise I will join you."

"Alright, but please don't take too long. I bought some chocolate body paint, and I was looking forward to experimenting a little." Susan gave it one last shot, hoping to just get a glance from her husband. ~Wow, he must really be deep in that equation.~ After almost twenty seconds she decided to just give up and headed to their bedroom. ~Reed will join me when he's done…I hope.~

Sighing in relief as his wife left, Reed reached down to a hidden panel. Typing a few commands he was assured that in ten minutes Susan would be blissfully asleep thanks to the gas he was pumping into their room. "Ah there we are. Now, let's see. If that quark behaves that way then this particle will do this. Potential limitless energy, but too high a risk of another Big Bang. Back to the drawing board if I want to beat Stark's Arc Reactor."

"This is not a Town House, Wanda. This is a mansion!" Peter Parker exclaimed as he stepped out of the cab. It wasn't actually a mansion, but he was sure that it had to six times the size of his Aunt's house. "How do you…"

"Day trading." Wanda responded with a grin. "I picked it up from Pepper and have a knack. Made a small fortune and invested wisely with Stark Industries, the Bugle, Microsoft, and BannerTech." She was actually quite proud of how she had managed to use legitimate means to support herself. "I'll set you up with an account if you want. I'd wager than your Spider-Sense would give you a slight edge."

"I'm not sure that would be ethical." Peter followed Wanda in and noticed that unlike the Avenger's mansion, he almost felt completely at home here. It was eerily similar to how his Aunt May's house felt after he moved out, like anytime he wanted this could become home.

"Actually, I doubt it would do more than warn you that buying a stock would result in losing money. Not tell you which stock was going to make you richer than Ole King Cole." Wanda chuckled. "The Kitchen is through there and the pantry is labeled. We have a formal dining room, sitting room, and the media room. The basement is finished, but not in use. Second floor is the guest rooms and the sauna. Third floor is the master suite, so take your bags up there."

Peter started for the stairs when it occurred to him just what she said. "Wait, Master Suite? Shouldn't you be sleeping there?"

"Yes, and I will be." Wanda replied as she moved to the wet bar for a glass of wine.

"So I'll be sleeping in a guest room, right?"

"No, you'll be sleeping in the Master Suite as well. I don't have any beds in the guest rooms yet. They arrive in a week. So we'll have to share until then." Wanda was enjoying the sight of Peter with a deer in headlights look. She knew he had not brought along much to wear, his day clothes and costumes only. So she knew why he seemed to be panicking. "And don't you dare try to take the floor or the couch. I would be insulted."

"If I didn't know better I would say you are trying to seduce me." Peter joked as he started up the stairs.

~Wow. You don't meet gentlemen like that every day. If I had said that in front of the others, they would have made crude comments about not much sleep happening.~ Wanda mused as she enjoyed a sip of her wine. ~Well, Steve wouldn't but he still would have assumed we were going to be intimate. I wonder if they make more like Peter somewhere.~

The Sensational Scarlet Spider quickly lifted his mask to sneeze. ~Wonder what that was about.~

"You know I can just cling to the ceiling or I can use some of my long lasting webbing and make a hammock." Peter was trying to be a good guest as he came back down the stairs. It had taken him a few minutes to put away his overnight bag, but not so long that what he saw on the dining room table should have been possible. "Is that your Venison Pepper Steak?"

"Actually, yes it is." Wanda smiled as she brought out the buttered pasta to serve the dish on. She had made this once for one of the Pot Luck Dinners and it had caused a three way fight between Thor, Hercules, and Sif on the last helping. "I remembered that you compared it favorably to your Aunt's cooking."

"Well, it was amazing." Peter smiled as completely forgot his arguments against sharing a bed. "So, what can I do to help?"

"Well, the dinnerware is in that hutch, if you wouldn't mind setting the table while I find us a bottle of wine." Wanda smiled warmly. She knew better than to just say she would take care of everything. "As for the sleeping arrangements, please don't fight me on this. I don't sleep very well without another body there. You'll be doing me a great favor."

Peter almost went to argue against her, but the earnest tone in her voice stopped him. Instead he numbly nodded and went to the hutch to gather what he needed to set the table. ~Alright, somehow my Parker Luck is working in a completely strange way. I'm being told I am sleeping with one of the most gorgeous women on the planet, but I will basically just be a giant Teddy Bear.~ Peter started setting the table as he pondered everything. ~Well, not like I have been having any luck with women lately. Unless you count a Cat Burglar turned Vigilante wanting Spider-man but not Peter Parker as good luck.~

"Penny for your thoughts." Wanda said bringing Peter out of his contemplative moment. She had found a proper bottle of wine and had already opened it. "Sorry, but you miles away."

"Sorry about that, I was just going over my luck, or lack thereof with relationships." Peter responded, for once not trying to cover with a flimsy lie. "Seems silly, as you are like one of the few people I know even more cursed than I am in that department."

"Well, I blame my passionate nature. I have never done anything half-way. I don't just like something, I love it." Wanda sighed as she poured them each a glass of wine as Peter dished them each a generous portion of the Pepper Steak. "Looking back on everything with Simon and Vision, I really only loved small snippets of their personality. Once that was erased from Vision and Simon refused to have the patterns copied again, it began to fall apart. Then the Lehnsherr stubbornness kicked in, and I refused to let go of what was no longer there." Taking a sip of her wine to fortify herself a bit, Wanda continued. "It took a while, but eventually I stopped blaming them for not being what I had imagined they were. So, I am pretty sure my next relationship will be infinitely better. Though that might have more to do with my tastes improving."

"Well, I know about people falling in love with only part of someone." Peter nodded as he was processing what Wanda was telling him. "You have heard of Black Cat? Yeah, completely in love with Spider-man, but not so impressed with Peter Parker. Not really her fault, as I am not quite the same in costume as out." He chuckled at the memory. "Just don't blame yourself for everything that went wrong, Wanda. You couldn't help falling in love, and I have to respect a woman who fights for that love. Just try to remember that sometimes no matter what we do, it doesn't work. It doesn't mean you love him any less."

"You know, when you aren't making those lame jokes, you're very insightful." Wanda smiled warmly as she began to enjoy her dinner.

"I think I am going to go with…Hey!" Peter's mock indignation got Wanda to chuckle. "My jokes are better than Johnny's and Deadpool's"

"Andrew Dice Clay's jokes were better than those two motor-mouths." Wanda countered.

"True, but mine have to be better than his."

"Hmmm, you're right." Wanda mock contemplation lasted a few tense seconds. "So, Peter, I'm wondering what advice you'd give me for dating again."

"Are you just looking for rebound?" Peter asked after a moment. Nobody ever asked him for dating advice. Well, almost nobody. Bobby Drake had once, but never listened.

"Nope." Wanda popped the P a little. "If you paid attention, you'd remember than when I sent the others off, they thought they were gone for two weeks. I can do something similar for myself. I worked through a few issues mentally. I only took time off, so that I could get my life together without pressure."

"Well, I would say. Don't bother picking up strangers, it never ends well." Peter started his sage wisdom that has come from too many bad dates. "I would say date your guy friends, but you've already found that hasn't worked too well. So, I'll suggest making a new friend and see if something develops." He paused for a moment and chuckled. "Or if you have a guy in mind you could always make sure you really like him, seduce him, then drag him off to Vegas. I can't imagine any guys I know objecting to that."

"Really?" Wanda's lips turned up in almost evil smile. "I'll keep that in mind."

~I feel this sensation of impending doom. I wonder what it could be. Ah well, my spider-sense is not going off, so it can't be anything directed at me~

AN: Alright chapter 2 is up. I am going for a slow build-up or now. No Character Bashing is occurring in this story. Any characters you see acting as flaming asses are doing so or a plot driven reason. And no the plot is not to make Spidey seem like the only good male.

So far in the Polls: (With review votes added in)

Psylocke, Jean Grey, Ms Marvel and Amora are in the lead with 4 votes each
Valkyrie and Spider-Woman (Jessica Drew) are in second with 2 votes

Squirrel Girl, X-23, Silver Sable, Lady Deadpool, and Maddie Pryor are in fourth with 1 vote

Please if you read leave a review and vote on my poll