Part #7: The End
When Darren awoke he expected an empty bed. He expected a text message with a fleeting explanation, if even that. Before he opened his eyes, he braced himself for the emptiness of his previously full bed. As he prepared himself mentally, he planned on getting up for another shower. The one him and Chris had shared yesterday had been so intense and hot that they pretty much forgot about the washing up part and had only had time to have the water run over them long enough that they felt acceptable, and then Darren had gotten on his knees and sucked Chris to climax again. After that they were so exhausted they practically fell into bed.
The bed shifted, and Darren felt another person's weight behind him. He could hear the even breaths of someone still sleeping, and before Darren's nervous heart caught up with what was happening, an arm came to snake around his waist, a chest pressed up against his back, and a nose nuzzled the back of his neck. Darren swallowed and kept his eyes closed. This was a good, good dream. It felt real. It was as if he could actually feel Chris's presence. He took a few deep breaths to calm down. He had to stay calm, or else he'd wake up.
Chris's fingers trailed a soft line from Darren's soft belly up to his chest. His hand then flattened on top of it, caressed it, as Chris pressed a kiss between Darren's shoulder blades.
"Sleep well?" Chris murmured, his voice a little raw from sleep.
Darren just hummed in response. He felt a chuckle vibrate onto his back.
"Sleeping well?" Chris corrected himself, giggling.
Darren exhaled happily, but then Chris rolled off of him, away. Darren jolted up into a seating position immediately, eyes open wide.
"Nuh-no, wait," he managed to splutter.
And Chris was still there. On the edge of the bed, just putting his socks on like it was no big deal.
"Good morning?" Chris smirked, and leaned backwards.
Their faces were leveled evenly in this position. Chris's eyes crinkled from the way he was smiling genuinely, and Darren smiled back.
"Good morning," Darren said.
He pressed a gentle kiss to the soft pads of Chris's lips, lingered with eyes slipping shut, and pulled back. Chris hunched forward off the edge of the bed again, looking for something on the floor and finding a T-shirt that he pulled over his head. Darren slumped back onto the bed and released a breath.
"Are you going?" he asked, eyes closed.
Chris didn't respond, and Darren sighed again. Chris was the master of raising hope just to tear it all down again. Maybe Darren was just too hopeful, too quickly.
Darren didn't have time to finish his train of thoughts before a body pressed into his side again, and a hand came to cup his face. He opened his eyes as Chris tilted his chin to face him. Darren blinked slowly, afraid to smile just yet.
"I am," Chris said then. "I'm going to the gym and then I have work."
The corners of Darren's mouth turned upwards slightly, and Chris smiled back. He leaned down and opened his mouth, and Darren copied his expression. They kissed, tongues first and mouths second, surprising both of them with its accidental intensity. Darren's arm came up automatically, hand landing on Chris's side and grasping for purchase. Chris breathed hotly onto Darren's lips but pulled back, eyes locked on Darren's.
Darren let out a soft whine that made Chris smile.
"I'll text you later," Chris murmured.
Darren was grateful. Because Chris never said those kind of things. He never told Darren where he went when they weren't together before. He never promised a follow-up to when they'd met. But today, after everything, he did. Watching him walk out the door felt better because of it.
Darren wrapped his arms around himself where he stood by the front door after Chris had left, after they'd exchanged glances that said that they shared something, something else than they had before.
And Darren's heart beat with promise.
Darren didn't realize Joey didn't know about his and Chris's meet-up until their first class on Monday morning when he asked how things had gone with Denise. Darren had smiled with furrowed brows at the question. His first instinct had been to lie. He wanted what him and Chris had to himself. But he changed his mind.
He couldn't keep lying to people about himself. There was no mistaking it, Darren was in love with Chris. He'd fallen headfirst and there was no way around it. And all of those emotions were such a big part of him now that they couldn't be kept from people. If people didn't know about their relationship, they didn't know Darren. Not that Chris and Darren were exclusive. But still.
"I actually didn't meet up with Denise," Darren answered Joey's question.
They were at the back of the lecture hall, and their professor had such a thin voice Joey and Darren were kind of wondering why they were even there. They couldn't hear anything. The professor screwed up the powerpoint over and over again. But the seats in lecture hall were comfy, and Dylan and Lauren were there as well.
"What about Denise?" Lauren asked.
"Eavesdrop much?" Darren groaned.
When it came to Denise, Lauren always got ridiculously interested. She spewed her hatred towards her and groaned whenever her name was mentioned, yet she seemed to be Lauren's favorite topic to discuss.
"I think everyone in here can hear you better than Mr Richardson, anyway," Lauren shrugged. "Now, please don't tell me you and Denise are a thing."
"We are not," Darren said, and Lauren audibly sighed her relief. "But we're friends, so I'd appreciate it if you stopped bashing her all the time."
Lauren opened her mouth to protest (and probably rant about what a bad influence Denise was), when Joey stopped her.
"Save your breath," he said, and then he glanced at Darren. "I'm really trying to hear what he's saying, okay, you guys?"
Lauren closed her mouth again and gave Darren a look that said this isn't over. When Darren turned to smile gratefully at Joey, Joey had this expression that Darren hadn't seen on him before. He wasn't exactly angry, but Darren could tell Joey knew that there was something Darren wasn't telling him.
After class, Darren was just about to grab Joey by the arm and drag him somewhere that wasn't as crowded to tell him everything that had gone down after he left saturday night. But then Sam was there, and Joey smiled wider than he had all day as they greeted each other with a fist-bump. Sam nodded at Darren, and Darren nodded back as he attempted to hide his less than pleasant surprise from showing through.
Sam and Joey left, and Darren was left to stare at their backs when they were walking away. He didn't get to mope for long until Lauren tugged at his arm and demanded to know more about him and Denise, and he complied to her wishes and sat down with her outside the lecture hall until the next one started.
It was easy to start thinking about other things, but then again Lauren was a force of nature when it came to gossip. Darren was grateful for it now. He hated having things unsaid, especially with Joey. The hardest thing was not knowing what to tell him. Yes, he told Chris that they'd talked about him. And then what?
They weren't anything yet. Darren wanted them to be everything, but the outcome of their night together hadn't been that different from what it usually was. It had felt different. The sex had been better, because they'd missed each other and then everything was out in the open.
But if you disregarded all of that, they were ultimately back to square one. Fuck buddies. Chris had said they were going to talk, but how long could Darren wait? How long were they going to dance around like this, time and time again?
To Chris: Are we going to have that talk now?
From Chris: Come to my place and we'll see.
To Chris: Your place, huh?
From Chris: That's right. See you later.
It was a progression. It was small and long overdue, but it was a progression. When they first met Chris had complained about having too many people around, but when Darren and Chris got to his place it was very much empty and suited for one. Chris briefly explained that he'd worked something out to get a single dorm and that it suited him a lot better, and Darren was not one to complain. Not having to worry about getting walked in on? It was heaven.
And then Chris's mouth was on Darren's, and fuck he knew just how to make Darren forget the reason he'd went there. It hadn't been for sex. It had been to talk, to get some redemption, to be forgiven. If Chris held a grudge against Darren now he had a weird way of showing it, but Darren still needed to hear the words.
He didn't want things to be unsaid.
"Chris, wait, slow down," Darren panted when Chris pushed him up against a wall and attacked his neck.
Chris didn't slow down. Instead his hands went to grope Darren's ass.
"Seriously, I just-," Darren tried.
"Can't it wait?" Chris asked. "Later, D."
Darren groaned. His body said yes, yes, yesit could so wait, but something in him stopped those feelings from getting the better of him.
"Just... What are we?" Darren asked, and Chris stopped, an incredulous expression on his face. "Okay, I know how stupid that sounded, but..."
Chris sighed and kissed Darren slowly, two hands coming to cup his face gently. Oh. Darren tilted his chin forward, and Chris's tongue entered through the seam of his lips. Darren exhaled through his nose and furrowed his brows.
"We're nothing, Darren," Chris said, but the way it was whispered against his lips so tenderly took the weight off the statement in a way that made Darren question if he had heard him correctly. "We don't need to 'be' anything. You're getting what you want from me, and there are no hard feelings between us."
It was so easy to believe that Chris's words made sense when they were said between loving kisses, but Darren still sniffled, sighing his frustration.
"You mean something to me," Chris whispered, the words small in volume but so, so big and powerful because they thundered straight into Darren's heart. "But I'm not ready to... to..."
"Okay," Darren interrupted him, and kissed Chris's cheek.
Darren hadn't thought about it that hard before, but Chris's eyes were so blue and piercing, and the way they stared at him now made Darren want to cry and smile simultaneously. Chris looked grateful to have been interrupted.
"I'm not going to ask you to do anything you aren't comfortable with." The words felt flat and big on Darren's tongue, hard to press out, be he had to.
If he wanted to get anywhere with Chris, he had to.
But he wanted more, though. He didn't know why Chris had such an easy time with being with him like this without putting a label on them, especially after he'd just been in a hassle with someone who didn't want to be his boyfriend. Darren was right here, open for the taking, and Chris was just dipping his hands in every now and then, thinking that was enough.
But then Darren's brain reminded him of those words Chris had said last time, how he'd been crying so hard before they'd been uttered.
I'm not perfect, Darren.
And there was a lot behind that. A lot that, even though Darren had gotten the general idea of what Chris's college life had looked like so far, Darren didn't have a clue about.
"What do you want, Darren?" Chris asked, kissing down Darren's jawline, sucking hickeys and grazing teeth.
It felt like a trick question that shouldn't be taken into literal context. In literal context, Darren wanted to call Chris his boyfriend. Darren wanted to hold hands with Chris and spend one night with him that didn't include sex. Darren wanted to get to know Chris on his own.
"Tell me," Chris urged.
"Just... Fuck me," Darren said. "Please."
He didn't have time to hate himself for being such a coward until Chris started to undress him, all grinning kisses and dark, lustful eyes.
Apparently, it had been the correct answer.
When they'd gotten down to their underwear, Chris lead Darren into his room. Despite having Chris's mouth and hands on him, he couldn't stop himself from letting his eyes skim around and take in its contents. He didn't know what he'd expected of what Chris's bedroom would look like. He hadn't really thought of it before, and now that it was right in front of his eyes he wondered why he hadn't.
There were pictures on his desk. Framed photographs of people Darren had no idea who they were. Some looked like older relatives while others looked about Chris's age. Mostly girls. Chris's desk was messy with a laptop open on top of it. He'd expected that much from a creative writing major.
"What are you doing?" Chris asked.
He pulled his mouth away from Darren's neck. He was on top, straddling his hips with two hands feeling Darren's chest. Darren didn't say anything at first. His eyes were still roaming Chris's bedroom, and Chris followed his gaze.
"Who are those people?" Darren asked, nodding towards the framed pictures on his nightstand.
"Family," Chris shrugged. "Friends. Why does it matter?"
"I don't know," Darren said. "I guess I never thought of your family before."
"Who says you have to think about them now?" Chris asked, and to prove his point he ground his hips down so that his crotch pressed up harder against Darren's.
Darren let out a gasp, and then a short laugh.
"I just...," Darren started, thinking. "Is it that strange that I want to know more about them?"
Chris smiled down at Darren with something that resembled fondness in his eyes, but then he kissed Darren hard on the lips.
"I haven't met them in long," he said once they parted. "They're all back in Clovis."
"Clovis?" Darren asked.
"Yeah, Clovis, California," Chris said. Darren looked up at him and he was blushing for some reason. "Big town, small-minded people. Close to Fresno."
"I'm from San Francisco," Darren blurted out, so excited about knowing another detail about Chris he didn't know how else to respond.
It made Chris grin, though, and it earned him another chaste kiss.
"Of course you are," Chris murmured.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Darren laughed, because he knew exactly what it meant, and grabbed a handful of Chris's hair and pulled him close again, lying down on the bed so that he was fully covered by Chris's body.
Chris moaned softly, hands squeezing Darren's shoulders and he pressed against his crotch again.
"You make me feel... stuff," Chris murmured when his lips skimmed Darren's neck.
It had been faint, and it didn't really mean much. Darren wasn't sure if he was even supposed to have heard it, but how could he not? And hearing the words brought tears to his eyes, and his heart beat harder and he needed to kiss Chris now.
"God, already?" Chris asked when Darren started to whimper with desperation.
But then he looked up at Darren's face and Darren didn't look like he was about to come at all. His face was practically glowing, a radiating smile stretching his lips and wet eyes blinking back at Chris. Chris swallowed, Adam's apple bobbing visibly. Darren breathed in, suddenly nervous, but Chris at least didn't look appalled. He looked more as though he was trying to understand what was happening, and Darren's reaction to it.
And then Darren made this face, where his lips closed tight around his mouth and his brows furrowed sadly, happiness still glowing from him and it made Chris emotional as well. He kissed Darren on the mouth softly, and Darren released a wet breath into the kiss.
"Darren...," Chris whispered, a hand coming up to card through his hair.
"I'm so sorry for everything, Chris," Darren said, speaking in rushed words. "D-did you talk to Sam? Are you guys all right?"
"He told me." Chris's voice was normal and even, contrasting the desperation in Darren's.
Chris sat up from Darren on the bed, legs crossed, fingers scratching his his left forearm. The moment was over, so Darren wasn't disappointed. They had to talk at some point. They were going to talk. They were talking.
"And I...," Chris sighed. "I forgave him, like, straight away."
Darren felt a weird twist to his insides when Chris said it. Sam still meant more.
Chris seemed to notice the change in Darren, and he rushed to defend himself.
"I'm not in love with him. I swear it."
"Then why aren't you forgiving me?" Darren asked, the corners of his mouths pulling downwards even though he was trying to fight it.
"Sam's been my best friend since I got here," Chris said, and he sounded more apologetic than anything. "He knows more about me than anyone does and... I know he always has my best interest in mind when he does things. He explained it to me."
"But what am I, Chris?" Darren asked, and he sat up as well, hands resting in his lap. He looked into Chris's eyes.
"But I do forgive you," Chris said, trying to change the subject.
He looked the way he had when Darren had seen him out in public after their second time together. As if he was attempting to be something he wasn't. He didn't put up the mask he usually did. He looked earnest and concerned looking back at Darren, pressing his lips together like he was trying to think of a reason to shoot him down.
"Don't you think I notice how you get with me nowadays?" Darren asked, completely forgetting to feel relieved at having been forgiven. He he inched closer, taking Chris's hand. "It's different..."
As if on cue, when Chris looked up at Darren something was exchanged by the way they looked at each other. This something that seemed so prominent when they were together, that made Darren so sure of how he felt about this gorgeous man in front of him.
"You feel it too."
Darren wasn't going to play more games.
"I-," Chris stuttered, staring down at their locked hands, trembling. "I've been hurt, Darren. How do you know you'll feel like that when I give up and do it your way?"
"Chris, I can promise you," Darren said slowly, "that I'm not in love with the hunt. I'm in love with you, and I'm saying that because it's true."
A beat.
"I know."
Chris barely breathed it out, and then he looked up at Darren again. Darren stared straight back, and even though Chris didn't have the words within to tell him how he felt, Chris believed and understood him when Darren said how much he meant to him.
"I'm not... In the mood anymore," Chris said, changing the subject. "Do you want to just watch a movie or... go to sleep or something?"
Darren leaned forward and kissed Chris, holding his hand tightly, and Chris let out a startled little giggle against his lips.
"Oh, you're going to change my mind again," Chris said, kissing back a smile.
Darren's hands went up to cup Chris's face and he smiled back.
"How about we fuck first and then watch a movie?" he asked.
"Fine by me," Chris smirked, and fell on top of Darren on the bed.
Darren and Chris still didn't talk about their relationship with others the following week, but this time Darren felt better about it. He spent some time almost every day with Chris, mostly at his place, and he found out so much about him. They discovered their mutual interest in musical theatre, TV, and literature. It was a long overdue discovery, but once the bond was made over a couple of serendipitous squeals of delight when they zapped to a channel showing a re-run marathon of the first season of Downton Abbey, they obtained an ability to be completely silly together. Darren hadn't realized how much they'd been lacking without it, but now that they could lie on Chris's bed and laugh until their stomachs and cheeks started cramping just from doing stupid british accents or discussing various plot-holes in the Harry Potter series (and how the emotional significance of other parts in the books totally made up for them), it was as if a space between them had been completely and utterly filled, almost bursting at the seams.
They started texting regularly, in a different way than before. Joey noticed, but there was still something between him and Darren that kept them from mentioning it. It was as if Joey was regretting trying to help him to get them together, now that he noticed how much closer they were getting. Darren figured Joey was just being a good friend, deep down. There was something unsettling, still, about the way Chris refrained from labeling them. But Darren understood better now. He didn't understand all of it, but when Chris looked at him with those sad, unsure eyes he couldn't convince himself that it was a good idea to press the questions further. If Chris had something dark and heavy weighing him down whenever the subject came up and it managed to completely break him one day, Darren didn't trust himself to be able to pick him up again. He knew that starting yet another fight on the subject would cause a mess, and Darren didn't like to make messes he didn't know whether he could clean up again.
Chris and Darren were good together. They laughed, they fucked, they kissed slow and sure and Darren loved him. Never for the life of him had he figured that a guy he first sucked off on the bathroom floor at a college party would end up meaning this much to him, but he did. It was an exception, a weird happenstance, and even if Chris hadn't exactly been in a good place when it happened, Darren was starting to believe that Chris was happy it did. It was the way he smiled genuinely, not the pretty kind of smile but the face crinkling up and double chin peeking through and eyes watering kind of doubling up laughter, that was when Darren knew him and Chris were meant to be together, and he was happy they were. Whether or not Chris wanted to call them boyfriends or state his feelings for Darren the way Darren always did, sending a '3' at the end of every text and whispering things when they were just about to come, Darren wanted Chris in his life. Chris's feelings had a way of radiating from his eyes when he felt them the most. Darren couldn't ask for more. They were happy.
Darren started to notice a change when he asked Chris to attend a party, however. They never did that. They had progressed from not being able to look each other in the eyes when they ended up in the cafeteria at the same time, of course. Now they could have a small conversation that was just a small fraction of everything they wanted to say, shy playful smiles that changed when they got to be alone together. They never willfully went places together unless it was Darren's or Chris's apartment.
Chris's wall built up when Darren had asked. Darren had thought it was about time. They were friends, best friends now that Darren felt such a strain with Joey, and Chris seemed to defy every inclination that they were two people who could be seen together without something horrible happening.
"I'm just not ready," Chris said, and that was always his resort.
Playing on that phrase, this state of being 'ready' that he never seemed to reach.
"It's just a party," Darren groaned. "We don't even have to go together. We can just... go there and end up meeting there? Several people have seen us grinding up against each other at parties."
Chris thought for a moment.
"I could be grinding up against you right now," he then smirked, and wiggled his eyebrows at him from across the couch.
Darren chuckled, but shook his head.
"We just shared a big-ass pizza," he said. "If I move right now I'll either start farting up a storm or pull a muscle. Or both!"
Chris's face scrunched up in disgust.
"Unless you never want me to fuck you again, don't ever say that in my presence again," he warned, still staring oddly.
Darren poked Chris in the leg with his foot and smiled teasingly. Chris rolled his eyes, but the shadow of a smile showed through his poor attempt at indifference.
"Okay," he said after a few moments of silent banter (which included wiggling eyebrows, smirks, disgusted faces and ending with Darren pulling out the big guns: puppy dog eyes). "I'll go. But only if we don't show up together."
Darren smiled, but the feeling of victory was brief. There was a strain in being kept on a short leash. They were just on the verge of ending this whole cat and dog thing they were doing. Only Chris wasn't being a very good cat, he never had. He always gave Darren wanted, for the moment, at least the momentary fraction of it. He'd fuck him, but he wouldn't call him his boyfriend. He'd attend parties with him, but they couldn't be seen showing up together. This was the reason Joey was still iffy about them. When Darren had been completely miserable, Joey had wanted to fix it best he could, and this wasn't fixing it, deep down. This was being on better terms and putting off the real problem, time and time again.
The sense of victory returned when Chris sat up, took Darren's hand, and kissed him full on the mouth, whispering "God, you're cute when you beg."
And then all concerns about the pizza they had vanished, because they never really could keep their hands off each other when they were alone.
Darren ended up going with Joey. It was one of those big college parties that were held at an otherwise public venue, with a bar and two floors. It was payed for by people from several campuses, and it was one of the biggest events of the year in terms of getting so drunk you can't stand and having meaningless sex. Darren wasn't there for that reason, though. He was there because one, Joey had asked him, and now that they weren't that close anymore Darren took almost every opportunity at them rekindling what was about to slip out of their hands. And two, Chris was going to be there. Darren kind of felt like a douche for not putting his friend first, but Chris was a big part of his life. Darren didn't want to think about what decision he'd made if Chris had refused. Staying at home with Chris would have been awesome as well...
But now they were here, and Joey was smiling like he did after he'd had a couple of beers. It was a contagious air of happiness, that despite the fact that Darren had kept his drinking to a minimum, rubbed off on him. He wanted to stay sober for a while, at least until he met Chris and didn't risk having to go home early. He wanted to get some time on the dance floor. He actually did want to grind up against Chris. Doing that with a bunch of people around them always turned him on, and it always ended up with them sweaty and intoxicated by the mere touch of the other.
And it wasn't bothering Darren to see his friends holler and shout at each other, laugh too loudly and dance more loosely than they usually did due to the alcohol, because he felt comfortable in this company. He trusted his friends, after all, and even though they gave him some smack for not accepting their offered beers, he knew they didn't care about how drunk he was as long as he was in on having just as much fun as the rest of them. And oh, Darren would be having fun. He texted Chris who responded almost immediately, saying that he was on the way there and was wearing his absolute best skin-tight jeans. They were hard to get off of him, but when they were at a place where Darren had to restrain himself from ripping them off that was a good thing. He still got almost as good a view as he did when Chris wasn't wearing any clothes, anyway.
Okay, so maybe Darren had been talked into a few beers when Chris showed up anyway. Chris was, in his usual fashion, sober when he showed up with Sam and some girl he didn't recognize. Their eyes met across the room and Darren smiled an uninhibited smile, taking a step forward, but Chris shook his head coldly. It was a stab to Darren's heart, but he stayed where he was, and Joey put an arm around his shoulders and pressed a chaste peck to his temple.
"What's he doing here?" Joey murmured into Darren's hair.
They were standing there, watching as Chris turned around (his ass looking fantastic) to talk to someone. Darren was comforted by the physical touch from Joey. Even though Joey was verging on embarrassing-drunk, his arm over Darren's chest made him feel protected. It made him feel close to Joey in a way he hadn't in too long.
"I invited him," Darren confessed. "He agreed to be here if we..."
"What, fuck in the bathroom?" Joey scoffed, his annoyance completely uninhibited by the liquor.
"No," Darren said, but he didn't have it in himself to fight.
Chris's dismissive shake of the head had left him vulnerable, and he didn't want someone else to turn on him.
"Still, he made a deal out of it," Joey groaned, sighing over-dramatically and resting his chin on top of Darren's head. "All these compromises on your behalf..."
"Stop," Darren said. "Please? He makes me happy."
Joey's hand went up and squeezed Darren's shoulder, and then he faced him. Darren looked up with a soft smile, trying to show him that he was okay, really, even if he knew Joey didn't buy it. It wasn't easy to try to convince someone that loved him that someone with such a strong ability to hurt him was good for him, in the end. But that was what it was. It didn't matter how Chris treated him at this point, because Darren knew who they were together when they were alone.
Joey smacked Darren lightly on the cheek the way he only did when he was drunk and they shared a smile before Joey turned to talk to someone else. The party was really picking up at this point. The music was pumping and loud and more and more people were getting drunk enough to dare their chance at the dance floor. The musical theatre geeks had already been ripping that place up from the moment they walked in, but at a big party like this it usually took a while for the rest of the students to find their comfort zone there. Darren wasn't going to dance until Chris asked it of him, that was for sure.
After another fifteen minutes, Darren found himself alone, leaning against a wall. He hadn't seen Chris in a while, and he figured it had been because he kept hanging around his classmates and friends. Chris wouldn't approach him until he was alone, with a desperate enough expression on his face, and he was starting to think he'd passed that point about five minutes ago. He wanted Chris now, his skin was crawling with it, and why had he gone to this party anyway? Getting to be with him in public was one thing, but if it took this long he would have been perfectly fine having Chris all for himself in the privacy of his bedroom.
Another few minutes passed, Darren's boredom growing stronger, when he felt a couple of hands grabbing his shoulders just as he looked the other way. Darren was startled, looking in the direction of the person suddenly on him, and it wasn't Chris. It was a girl, he could tell almost immediately by how different her hands felt on him, and she was slumping onto him, giggling into his ear.
"What are you doing here all alone, handsome?" she asked.
Darren swallowed, but grinned back, not really doing much to keep her off of him.
"Just waiting for someone," he said, keeping the mood light.
She pulled back and looked straight at him. By the look of her fierce gaze she wasn't half as drunk as she pretended to be, and Darren had to keep his face from visibly humoring her.
"Yeah? Was that someone me?" she asked, giggling lightly.
Darren laughed, because wow. He really had to hand it to her. She knew how to twist words into her favor.
"Actually-" Darren started, but then her tongue was down his throat.
Darren didn't have time to react before her hands were grabbing at his hair and her hips were swaying and grinding up onto him. Darren's hands were hanging uselessly by his sides for a moment before he put them on her waist, trying to push her away, but it only seemed to spur her on. Until she was suddenly ripped off of him by an incredible force.
"Excuse me."
Darren blinked. His lips felt sticky from her lipgloss and he took a deep breath.
It was Chris. Of course it was Chris. One of his hands were on the girl's shoulder and he had that stern, sure look on his face that made Darren melt inside. The girl took a step back, but she wasn't giving up.
"Uh, excuse me," she said, annoyed. "But I don't think he plays for your team. So back off."
Chris and Darren shared a look that meant they were thinking about every possible position they'd been in together sexually. Every time Chris had been inside him, the times they'd went down on each other, the rimming, the head-pressed-down-the-mattress rough times. And then they started laughing.
"Oh, you're... friends?" she asked, a hand on her hip and an eyebrow arched. "Then stop being weird and just help him with his game."
"Actually, I am helping him with his game," Chris said, looking at the girl. Then his gaze came back to Darren as he said; "He's my boyfriend."
All the air was knocked out Darren's lungs in the best way possible. Chris and him shared that look, that look of complete consent, as if a puzzle piece finally found its match and they were finally folded together the way they were supposed to, not a single crease between them.
Their moment was interrupted by the girl's shrill voice.
"Oh, I'm so sorry," she said, and when Darren managed to tear his eyes off Chris the girl was blushing. "I'm sorry, I was being so offensive and out of line. I didn't mean—"
"It's okay," Darren and Chris said in unison, and then they chuckled again.
"Okay," she said, and she looked sincerely apologetic. "I'll just... leave you alone. Have a great night."
"You, too," Darren said and nodded, the brilliant smile not leaving his face.
Then Chris took his hand, and Darren looked up at him. Chris was... suddenly everything he wanted him to be. He was this strong, bold person that was vulnerable, and Darren was his boyfriend.
"Wait, did I just hear that correctly?" came a voice behind them.
They turned and Sam, Joey, Lauren and Denise were standing there, looking thoroughly drunk but absolutely stupid with surprise. When Darren looked up to see Chris's reaction, Chris looked a little more guarded than before.
"Yes," Chris said with a small smile, in spite of his obvious discomfort. He was still holding Darren's hand. "He's my boyfriend."
He gave Darren's hand a tight squeeze, and suddenly he shone in a brighter light than Darren had ever seen him shine before. Darren didn't know what to do with the tornado of feelings inside of him, but then Sam, Joey, Lauren and Denise were clapping their hands and hooting and hollering and suddenly the applause spread across the room, people shouting and laughing.
Ninety-eight percent of the people clapping had no idea what they were applauding, but it made Darren feel warm inside. Before he knew what to do with himself Chris turned to him and placed a soft, closed-mouthed kiss on his lips and Darren kissed back with more intensity than he ever had without using tongue before. Darren's arms wrapped themselves around Chris's neck and they kind of stood like that for a while, Chris's arms snaking around Darren's waist, eyes closed and hugging. It was a lot nicer like this, without any feelings separating them, allowing them to mold into each other and fit so much better than before.
"I swear I'm not drunk," Chris whispered into Darren's ear. "I kind of wish I was, though. That applause was too much."
When Darren laughed, tears he didn't know he had in him started to roll down his cheeks and the sound came out as a mixture of a laugh and a sob. Chris rubbed his back reassuringly.
"I'm kind of drunk," Darren admitted.
"Let's get you water," Chris hummed, their hands locking as they pulled away from the hug, walking towards the bar.
Once they sat down at the bar with one large glass of water each, their legs tangled and their sides pressed together, Darren realized he'd never been this happy. His gaze flitted over the room. It was way too dark in there, even if every spot of the room was alight with Darren's happiness. Chris seemed so comfortable, in spite of it all. They kissed a few times, and Darren started to calm down from each gulp of water and every moment passing since that rapid acceleration of emotions that Chris's confirming their status as boyfriends had brought on.
"Let's get out of here," Chris whispered into Darren's ear, and Darren nodded.
He wanted Chris to himself now. He wanted him above him, unclothed and close, he wanted him inside, pushing in with certainty and the reassurance of boyfriend, boyfriend, boyfriend. You're as much to me as I am to you.
They went up to their group of friends to announce their departure, and was met by another round of happy shouts and pats on their backs. It seemed a lot more ridiculous now that Darren was sobering up, but he couldn't stop himself from smiling like a dork despite of it. There was a certain feeling the sound of applause lit inside of him. It was the reason he wanted to be a performer, anyway.
When they were just outside of the venue they found Lauren and Denice with their arms around one another against the wall. Darren stopped in his tracks, blinking a couple times. The hand linked with Chris's dropped and he kind of just stared, not understanding.
"What's wrong?" Chris murmured into his ear, looking the direction Darren was staring.
Darren wanted to shout at them, ask them what the hell they were doing, but then he was hit by the intimacy of the moment. They weren't kissing. They were just holding each other, standing close, not even noticing that they weren't alone anymore. Darren got the feeling he was intruding, so instead of asking questions he just turned, shook his head dismissively at Chris, and headed home with him. Because somewhere in his mind, maybe that was what Lauren's resentment had been about all along?
Darren and Chris had been tired when they got home, but they were both intent on getting to have their moment before they fell asleep. They undressed by themselves until they were completely naked. Then they closed the gap between each other's bodies and kissed, both already hard, kisses loving and intense, swallowing each other's every staccato-breath and reciprocating every accidental thrust of hips.
Darren was under Chris, and he had never appreciated a tongue in his ass as much as he was right now. Chris was pushing, sucking, licking, all the while squeezing at the clefts of his ass and holding him open. Darren's feet were kicking involuntarily in a way they hadn't before, and he had to make sure his eyes were open because if they weren't head drown inside the sensations and come before Chris had gotten the chance to fuck him the way he wanted him to fuck him.
When Chris looked up from between Darren's legs, he smiled and the muscles in Darren's legs relaxed a little bit from the pause.
"You ready?" Chris asked. "Ready for me to lube you up?"
"Uh-huh, yeah," Darren said.
They hadn't talked much since they left the club. They'd been silent on the walk home, hand in hand. Nothing needed to fill the silence. Darren was so content that he, for once, felt like he didn't need words to come across the way he wanted to. Chris was on the same page as him. Darren hadn't asked what had made Chris decide to call him his boyfriend. Was it out of jealousy? Had the possibility of Darren moving on to someone else, right there in front of his face, brought him to realize that he didn't want that? The questions were there, somewhere in Darren's mind, but he didn't have it in him to voice them now. He didn't need to know. The way Chris was so sure of himself, not seeming to regret or doubt anything that had happened that night, calmed Darren enough to not need to ask anything.
And then Darren's hole was slick and open for Chris, and Chris's cock was lubed up and good and then his cock was pushing into him with little to no resistance.
"God, you're good," Chris moaned.
Darren's legs were hooked up on Chris's shoulder, intensifying every one of Chris's slow thrusts, hitting his prostate perfectly each time he pushed in far enough. His feet started doing that kicky-thing again, and Darren's breath hitched.
"So, so good," Chris said again, voice lower and more collected this time. "You're all I want. So good, Darren."
Darren moaned, eyes opening to stare into Chris's icy blues, and here they were.
"You're mine," Darren whispered suddenly, surprising himself with the choice of words.
"I am," Chris said, and then he picked up his pace.
Darren moaned, and Chris sucked on a spot on Darren's neck. Darren groaned, pushing his hips upwards and meeting Chris's thrusts as he went faster.
"Want you so bad," Chris murmured, fucking Darren harder. "Gonna come in you."
"Want you to," Darren managed.
He was completely trapped underneath Chris, held down and vulnerable in a way, but the way his legs were hoisted up and tight between his and Chris's bodies he felt more secure and protected than he ever had. And then Chris's hips snapped and twisted, and he was coming in Darren, and Darren felt a hand wrap around his cock and he was stroked into climax by just a couple of more jerks and deep thrusts.
Chris stayed inside him. Their orgasms had been surprisingly silent, Darren realized as they were lying there, kissing wet and slow. Darren had a weird sensation of complete exhaustion, contentedness and love, just love as they lied there. Chris slipped out of him and slumped next to him, hands going to feel between Darren's legs. Darren hummed against Chris's lips, feeling oversensitive but enjoying the attention.
"I'm still kind of scared you'll hurt me," Chris said suddenly.
Darren opened his eyes, and Chris's hands went away from his hole. Chris didn't look scared, though. He looked like Darren felt. Tired, happy, in love. So Darren smiled.
"But then I realize," Chris said. "That I've hurt you a lot more than you've hurt more. I've just been more... Vulnerable. Easily shaken."
"You've been through a lot," Darren said, and their hands locked between them. "I'm not mad."
"I know," Chris said. "What I'm saying is... I... I'm asking for your forgiveness."
Darren opened his mouth to protest.
"For being so slow," Chris interrupted. He didn't look angry at himself, he just seemed as though he'd taken a step back and really looked at himself and his actions, and it made Darren feel good. "For being... unsure of things. For letting my past get to me, and all of that affecting you in the end. I'm sorry for all of that, Darren."
"I forgive you," Darren said without hesitation. "I forgive you as long as you're mine."
"I'm yours," Chris said.
They looked at each other, smiling, and Darren was so glad he wasn't hurting. Nothing hurt. The space between them was smooth and soft, and it allowed Darren to lean in and for them to share one final kiss before they settled in with each other.
And then they drifted off to sleep.
THE END