Ugh, ok that took entirely too long to update. Every time I would write something, Raven would get highly uncooperative with me. Every time I would write something, she would throw a fit about sappy or emotional it made her sound. It took a lot of coaxing to get her to agree to what I did write. I'm so sorry everyone. Please continue to bug me when I have a pause like that. Know I really was working on it as promised, I just had a fight or two to contend with.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Raven awoke early the next morning feeling rather warm though not quite fully comfortable. In fact she was feeling rather sore. She was reaching a hand up to rub at the crick in her neck when she became very aware of the presence surrounding her. There was a warm weight upon her shoulders and a gently breath on the top of her head. Raven froze. Her brain, which had been in a sleepy haze, was shocked awake with the realization that she was not alone.
The memories of the previous night came rushing back. She and Speedy, the late night, and the cuddling on the couch. Her brain almost shut down at the last memory. Raven did not cuddle. It involved too much closeness of bodies to be comfortable for her. And yet there was no other way to describe the position she found herself in.
She was now hyper aware of the person she found herself so close to. He was not clinging to her, merely had an arm draped over her shoulders. They were still in a semi reclined position on the couch with legs extended and propped up on the coffee table on pillows. His body was leaning into the crook of the couch arm and Raven was leaning up against him.
At the sound of Speedy's steady breathing, Raven relaxed her body slightly. It was actually quite nice despite the awkward sleeping position. As that thought entered her head, Raven stiffened again. She had to get out from his arm, she needed space. This was not anything she could do and her head was getting cloudy with emotion. She needed to get away and clear her head and her thoughts but she needed to do so without waking Speedy. He would make jokes or want to talk about the sleeping arrangements and Raven was not emotionally ready for that little conversation. She took a slow breath and calmed herself. As quietly and slowly as possible she phased through the couch and up to the floor.
Raven held her breath as she turned to look at the still sleeping Speedy. He shifted positions in his sleep as the warmth of her body dissipated. With a wave she covered him more fully with the blanket and he settled in again. It was only then that Raven allowed herself to breath and she moved quickly to the bathroom for some much needed alone time.
As the hot water streamed down her back and face, Raven allowed her brain to finally start processing what had happened in the last few hours. What had she been thinking? She could not get that close to someone, no matter how comfortable their friendship was. To become that close meant letting down walls that she could not let down.
Despite what Cyborg thought, this experiment was not about one day being able to be with Robin. This was working on emotionally being able to handle being near him. The time away had not diminished the crush. She had been able to push the thought of him away, let's face it, she had years of training pushing down thoughts and emotions. That did not mean he was forgotten. She had long ago come to terms with the fact that she would watch Robin and Starfire as they grew into their romance. It didn't make it easy to deal with the emotions that came along with it. She had worked so hard to increase her ability to deal with emotions without always just locking them up. The Titans East had done so much to help her with this. Raven was confident that she could stand by and simply watch Robin from afar. She had no expectations of love or romance. She merely wanted to know that she could control her emotions without always locking them up. Otherwise, one day she would explode with unchecked emotions because she had no other way to work with them and through them.
But this morning, this 'cuddling' had given her something to think about. Raven was not oblivious to the fact that Speedy and she had an attraction to each other. He was a well developed young man with attractive features and they had spent many outings together. In fat, he and Robin shared many qualities even though they had very differing personalities. It was no wonder she was attracted to him. Not that it was an option either had thought to pursue. It was physical attraction with a mutual respect for each other. At least that was all Raven would ever let the relationship be.
The fact always remained that Raven was not looking for any type of romantic attachment to anyone. It was too much emotion and too dangerous for her. Laughter and anger were controlled much more easily than love because with love came hurt and jealously in the right situation and those could unleash some very volatile powers. Never mind the physical side. She still could not handle being touched for long periods of time and that was something involved in a real romantic relationship. No, Raven would always be on the sidelines with this.
And yet she had spent a night with someone she was attracted to. She had been held all night and nothing had happened. In a vulnerable state, such as sleep, Raven was much more likely to pick up on emotions and react to them. And while she knew there would never be a chance with Robin, he had Starfire after all, this now opened the possibility that she might be able to one day have a romantic relationship. Before Raven had a chance to examine whether or not this was something she would want the water finally reached a level of cold she could no longer take. As she dried off she heard the boys stirring next door. If she was to get her morning meditation in before the ruckus of morning began she would have to start now. She would have to examine this new development later.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
The morning had run as smoothly as it could. There had been the usual minor arguments around the table, but soon they were all on the road again. Within hours they would be back in Jump City and Raven would be home.
Raven clung to Speedy as he zipped through traffic. They had left the others back and it felt good to just move and not think. She leaned her helmeted forehead on Speedy's back and she felt a gentle spike of emotion. Before her morning realization, this would not have caused her to move. It was just emotion that could not be acted upon and so she would have ignored it. But now, it shocked her. This emotion could lead to something. Raven immediately sat straight up.
She was by no means ready for cuddling every day or sappy things like moonlit nights, or something as emotional and intimate as sex, but the fact that she had shared an intimate and vulnerable moment with someone opened new doors. And the fact remained that she was attracted to Speedy. They enjoyed many activities together and were able to talk or sit quietly. Not in the same way she did with Robin, but they were still comfortable silences. They were not necessarily long silences, Speedy was entirely too active for that, but he seemed to know when she needed that moment of peace without words.
In fact, they worked together well. They had minor disagreements, but no major fights. They enjoyed each others company though not always each others activities. And there was attraction. One of the bonuses of being an empath was that she could usually pick up on these things easily. Sometimes the emotions got mixed up if there were a lot of them and other times she had a difficult time discerning her emotions from others, but she usually did not need to wonder what the other was feeling. Of course she tried not to go digging. She felt it was a violation of a friends trust to go looking for the emotions. If they wanted to talk about how they were feeling then she felt it was ok, but until then she worked only on the emotions they were projecting loudly.
These thoughts had caused her to loosen her grip around Speedy's waist and as they headed for some curves in the road, Speedy reached back and pulled her closer. Raven tried to take a deep breath as her thoughts began to stray to the comfortable feeling developing as she held on. This possibility that she could act on attraction both scared her and exhilarated her. It was also starting to give her a headache. And with that, Raven did what Raven was able to do better than anyone else. She shut every thought and every emotion behind locked doors in her mind. She stopped thinking about that problem, at least for a moment and she leaned back into Speedy feeling the wind whipping around her. Something told her the next few days would involve more meditation than usual.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXX
Raven and Speedy entered Jump City well ahead of the other three. Of course they had the advantage of being able to weave in and out of cars and the speed of his motorcycle. They had pulled into Jump and decided to grab a quick bite to eat while they waited for the others. Rather than arrive separately the team had arranged that if Speedy and Raven reached Jump first, they would wait so the entire team could arrive together. It was, after all, the first time they had really seen Bee in months and they missed her terribly.
Everyone was dressed in civilian clothes to be a bit more discrete during their travels and Raven and Speedy were not bothered as they waited for the others. Raven sat quietly, sipping on hot tea and picking at her salad. With all the brain work today, she should be ravenous. It was quite the opposite though. She kept glancing up at Speedy and thinking what if questions. As hard as she tried, the thoughts kept popping up.
Speedy finally put down the sandwich he was halfway through eating. He took a sip of coffee and looked at Raven. "OK, what gives?"
Raven set down her tea, trying to be as casual as possible. This was one of the traits that was slightly annoying about Speedy. He wasn't as observant as Robin, but he was still too observant for Raven at times. He picked up on her moods better than most. In fact, when it came down to it, he was more adept at picking up on emotions and understanding them than she or Robin were. The great boy detective learned many things from his mentor and it was not just fighting styles. As observant as he was, he was still oblivious to the emotional side of life.
Her hands still cradling the tea mug, Raven gave Speedy a cool look from beneath half lidded eyes. "Excuse me?"
Speedy leaned forward and grabbed a fry. Before popping it into his mouth he smirked, "Why so quiet?"
With a slight eye roll Raven picked up her tea once again, "I'm always quiet."
At that Speedy chuckled, biting into another fry. "Yes, you are. But not this quiet. This is thinking quiet. So I repeat, what gives? Don't tell me the great Raven is nervous."
The look she shot over her cup would have caused a lesser man to quake. Speedy merely smiled. "Hardly. What is there to be nervous about?"
Speedy shrugged, "Dunno. But you never were one to follow girlish trends." At that Raven gave him a confused look. Speedy leaned back and gestured to her plate with his coffee cup. "You are just picking at your food. You may be a light eater, but this is ridiculous. Added to the fact that you were tense on the ride over today I assumed it must be nerves."
Raven covered her surprise at the last statement. She leaned back as well, trying to convey a casualness. With anyone else, she would have had them fooled. Not Speedy though. "Just a lot on my mind I guess." She hoped that this half truth would be enough to steer the conversation away. It was wishful thinking.
"About?"
Raven tensed slightly. "Nothing that concerns you." She saw the hurt flash across his green eyes and before she could say something to cover her tones Speedy spoke.
"Ouch. Sorry, I just figured we were good enough friends that I could help. You seem not yourself and I thought we had come a long way. Friends help each other Rae, even if its just a listening ear."
Raven relaxed and gave Speedy a soft look. She reached out and touched his hand on the table. "I know and we are. I didn't mean to snap. It really isn't something that you need to be concerned about. And when I am ready to talk about it, you will be the first I come to. Until then…"
Speedy turned his hand over and gripped hers tightly. His eyes lost some of the hurt but not the concern. "OK, I'll accept that, for now. I guess we have all been a little quiet and thoughtful lately. I'm really gonna miss having you around Rae."
Raven felt the shift in mood and relaxed. She released Speedy's hand and smiled softly, if not a little sadly. "I will miss you too. All of you." She wanted to continue but didn't know what she could say that wouldn't feel awkward coming from her lips. Speedy deemed to understand and grabbed her hand once more. After a quick squeeze, he reached forward with a fork and took a large bite of her salad.
"Hey!" she slapped at his hand lightly.
Through a mouthful of salad he laughed, "Well you weren't eating any. And it looked good."
With that, Raven gave a mock glare and picked up her fork. She speared her salad and began to actually eat it. She was suddenly very hungry, and the salad was delicious. The two friends quietly bantered back and forth as they ate. They ordered a few more plates of food and just as those arrived, the other Titans entered. The banter became just a bit louder and they were all feeling pretty good as they paid and headed to their vehicles. Just as Raven was climbing aboard, their communicators began to beep in their pockets. The communicators were back in range of the Titans Tower distress beacon. Before anyone could say anything, Raven announced, "Trouble."
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXX
After a quick change, the Titans left the moving van at the restaurant and Speedy jumped on his bike, with Aqualad behind him. Mas y Menos joined hands and all followed as Raven flew towards the call. She didn't need details. She merely tapped into the bond she and Robin shared and she followed it to where he would be.
In a different situation, Raven would have been slightly nervous about opening the bond she shared with Robin. It not only gave her access to him, but it gave him access to her. To her emotions and her experiences. He had never tried, she would have known that, but the more often the bond was consciously used, the more Robin would understand how to use it in the reverse.
But for this situation, she ran on auto pilot. She was in fighting mode, as were the others on the team. In no time they had rounded a building and saw the scene of chaos in front of them. There was Plasmus in all his gooey glory. The other five Titans were already well into the battle as Raven stopped to survey the situation.
Robin was performing his usual aerial acrobatics as he flung exploding baterangs. However Plasmus seemed to turn at just the right time that they only hit arms and legs, resulting in an explosion of limbs, but nothing crippling to Plasmus. Starfire was busy helping a very gooey Beastboy up from his prone position on the concrete.
Cyborg had taken position behind a car and was crouched, aiming his sonic cannon. Unfortunately, Cyborg was having about as much luck as Robin, since Plasmus kept flailing arms and moving erratically. And it was no winder, because small electric currents could be seen up at Plasmus' eye level. Bee was trying to get the thing to fall or become distracted by attacking his sight.
Raven inwardly sighed. It would be the messy creature she came home to. Honestly, she hated to get dirty. And it would take a lot of shower time to clean up properly. It would cut into her reunion with her friends and Raven was having none of that.
She looked at Mas y Menos. "Hold him in one position" she said, gesturing to Plasmus. They saluted and ran to circle the creature, effectively holding him in one place. She looked at Speedy and Aqualad. "Ice wall." indicating in front of them. Aqualad immediately tapped into the nearest water supply, a fire hydrant and created a wall of water. In seconds, Speedy had pulled and shot an arrow into the wall, creating a thick sheet of ice. Raven yelled, "Everyone behind the wall." All the Titans glanced at her but the Titans East didn't hesitate in the least. They moved behind the wall followed closely by the Titans West. Raven took up her lotus position and chanted, "Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos" and her soul self moved into Plasmus. There she found the man who was Plasmus in his awakened state. Raven entered him and used her empathic power to put the man to sleep. As she flew back to her body, she felt the body of Plasmus give a shudder and exploded, leaving an exhausted Otto sleeping in a crater.
Raven's body opened her eyes just as the blob exploded against the wall of ice. Cyborg was grinning. He gave her a thumbs up and said, "Good thinking, Rae."
Raven tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. "I didn't want to shower a second time today. It takes forever to get Plasmus out of your hair."
That was all that was needed. The two groups exploded in smiles, and hellos, and hugs. Raven was squeezed by Beastboy and Starfire at once. Bee was surrounded by the boys and they were all happily exchanging hugs. As soon as Raven could breath, she was scooped up into Cys strong arms. "Dark Girl! Missed ya."
Raven squeezed back. "Miss you too." The two smiled at each other until there was a tap on Cys shoulder.
There stood Robin. He had a smile on his face and Raven was feeling euphoric. It was the only way she could explain it. She went from a bear hug with Cyborg to a tight embrace with Robin. His face was buried in her hair and he was breathing deep. She buried her face into the crook of her neck and he tightened his embrace. She hung tighter to his neck. The moment did not last long and there were no words exchanged. It was broken up quickly as high fives passed around and Bee came to give a small hug of her own.
But through all the celebration, Raven glanced a t Robin. He was still looking at her, a small smile on his face. Cyborg threw an arm around her and the connection was broken. He was smiling down at her. She was surrounded by love and laughter and Raven smiled back. She was home.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXX
OK, let's hope Raven is a bit more cooperative now. I am actually writing the next chapter as we speak, but this is the emotional stuff and she hates it.