Day 23- The Games (Day 16)

When I wake I ache a lot from sleeping on the uncomfortable ground, but it's nothing compared to the pain that hits me when I remember what happened the previous day. Having not removed my pack to sleep, I just grab my staff, get up and walk again, my head filled with nothing but regrets, what if's and sadness.

At some point I reach the edge of the forest, seeing the river a few miles away ahead of me. I put just about enough thought into it to not walk out into the open, instead turning left to head along the edge of the forest, back in the vague direction of the town in the far distance.

Suddenly I'm shocked by the sound of a cannon firing. It feels like ages since I've heard one. The ones yesterday barely registered, so it must have been…I stop to actually think about something for the first time since before it happened. Three days ago when Varro died would have been the last time I heard a cannon. We heard a cannon I correct myself sadly, remembering Fern sending me back up into the tree to see where the hovercraft had gone. Three…why is that sticking in my mind?

Abruptly I realise. I'm in the final three. Jade, the last career, is dead. I could win. It's a long way from being certain, or even likely, but for the first time I genuinely think I have a chance of surviving. It doesn't necessarily feel that enticing right now, as I can't imagine the pain I'm feeling fading…

But I promised Fern. I promised her I would try. I can do this, I have to do this for her. And my family, I have to try so they can see me again, I need to see them again, I need my mom to hug me and tell me everything will be okay.

Suddenly I realise, remember really, that they will be watching this. So I speak, though it requires quite an effort, bringing about the realisation that I haven't drunk since yesterday morning. "Mom, dad, Kay," I say simply. "I'm going to come home."

With what I hope is a determined look into one of the cameras that I know will be recording me, I stride off, pulling my water bottle out of the pack to have a drink as I do so. Feeling much better after having some water, I'm glad I didn't leave my staff behind yesterday. It was very much automatic rather than a conscious decision to pick it up when I left.

I have no way of knowing who's died until this evening, so don't even try to guess, but I do have a horrible feeling about Coulette. I think back to her interview, how she said she wouldn't be afraid to kill, and worry that everyone, me included, may have badly underestimated her.

I stop after a while to have the last of my berries for lunch, though I'm sure it's closer to the evening than lunchtime, and take a quick inventory. I haven't got any more food, but The Games will be over soon now, one way or the other, I may not even need any more. With the second water bottle, Fern's water bottle, still being in my bag I have plenty of water and anyway, the river's nearby, while I am armed with my staff and knife. The only other thing I could wish for is armour but there is no way I'm getting any. I also still have various bits of cloth and metal in my pack and although I can't think of a use for them I am loathe to throw them away.

I am about to start walking again when I see a sponsor gift falling towards me on the familiar silver parachute. I am surprised, but immensely thankful. It looks like not everyone in the Capitol is totally unsympathetic to our plight. It turns out to be a cream to soothe my burns. It's far from the wizardry of the paste that healed Tamla's wound what seems like a lifetime ago, but it does cool down the burning of my skin. "Thank you," I say quietly but firmly to the cameras, before, with a groan of effort, hauling myself to my feet and walking on despite aching everywhere.

I haven't been going for long when the anthem plays, I obviously walked for longer than I realised earlier, I had no idea it was quite this late in the day. After a few moments of waiting the tribute that died earlier is revealed to be Grove. I am slightly upset, realising I will never get the chance to thank him for both saving and sparing my life, but a more cynical part of me is relieved that I won't have to fight him.

I continue to walk towards the snowy section of the arena. I consider changing direction, but despite the help of my sponsor gift the cool snow seems attractive right now as my skin is still very sore. As I walk I consider my two…opponents. Coulette, the little fourteen year-old from district 3; she's less than 5 foot tall and only scored a four in training, but I am worried about her. I try to recall her face; round cheeks, bright green eyes, all framed by shoulder-length light brown hair, and as I do so there's a terrifying look in those green eyes that I can't recall being there in actuality. Jeremiah is the other remaining tribute. He's a year younger than me at 17, but bigger, probably 6 foot 3 or 4, slim but muscular. He got a 10 in training, I have no idea where from, and came across as gentle and intelligent, albeit with some definite hatred directed towards The Games and The Capitol.

It's just starting to get dark when I tense up. Something has caught my eye and a small sigh escapes me as I realise what it is. A flashing light on a tree. This is getting old. It's not one I've already seen though- red was fire, green was gas, blue was lightning…what'll yellow be?

Before I have a chance to think about it, it is revealed to me as I feel my feet starting to press deeper into the ground. For a second or two I hesitate, both physical and mental tiredness holding me back, but the self-preservation instinct kicks in, and I run.

It is horrifically tiring, as I quickly realise I can't run normally, the heavy steps make it hard to lift my feet again- instead I have to basically pretend I'm running over hot coals, touching the ground as briefly and lightly as possible.

Thankfully, because I don't think I could have kept going for much longer, once the arena is completely dark I reach the snowy section and the quicksand vanishes. I assume that the purpose of it was to force us all back into this side of the arena, and find myself hoping for my sake that Jeremiah and Coulette were further away than I was.

Not yet tired, I continue to walk and soon reach the river. The water is as clear as ever and there is just enough…not moonlight, fake moonlight I guess, for me to see my reflection. It isn't exactly mirror quality, but I can tell how much of a mess I look. I still can't get over the fact I haven't got the slightest hint of facial hair after over two weeks in here thanks to the Capitol's treatment, but my face is still a mess, burnt, dirty and gaunt. Confident that no-one's around I have a quick drink from the river before deciding it's probably time to at least try to sleep. If nothing else then I should get up a tree where I'll be less vulnerable- I don't feel at my safest in the darkness.

I'm surprised at the sudden surge in tiredness I feel once I'm secured in the branches of a sturdy tree, but don't try to resist the urge as sleep comes. I'm soon awake again however, not unusual as a tree branch isn't the most comfortable bed- except this time as I shift my position to prepare to try and go back to sleep I see the flashing green light about a foot from my face.

I feel like yelling out in frustration, but manage to restrain myself, deciding that drawing attention to myself like that would not be a good idea, so instead grab my staff and hurriedly clamber down, managing to briefly think how amazingly natural tree climbing to me now, considering I'd never even had the opportunity to climb a tree before The Games.

As I drop the last few feet to the ground, with the gas starting to hiss out of the trunk, I freeze in place when I should be turning and running. Standing maybe thirty metres away from me, through the trees, are two of the white bear mutts. And they're looking at me. It feels like an age I'm stood there, but in reality my mind is probably made up in seconds. As much as I'm loathe to turn my back on them I need to run anyway or the gas will finish me if they don't. So I turn and sprint off as hard as I can.

Running for my life, I'm expecting to feel one of the bears slam into my back any second, but although their low growls let me know they're after me, they're surprisingly slow. I daren't look back though, at least not until my curiosity is grabbed by a change in the noises they are making, going rapidly through anger to pain and then more of a whimper than anything else. Daring to turn to see what is going on, I stop.

I shouldn't be surprised at this stage of The Games, but the gamemakers are not going to give us a break now. Hundreds of muttations, huge rats, are swarming all over the bears. I have just enough time to notice that within seconds they have taken some serious chunks of flesh out of the bear, before I realise a few a starting to advance towards me and run again.

Chancing a look back this time, a couple of minutes later, I can barely see the snow directly behind me, covered by a carpet of rats. They are not quick enough to catch, me and I don't have to run flat out, but soon enough I realise how tireless they are, closing on me as I start to cramp up. I pull out the last of my reserves and continue to move on at a brisk jog, for several more hours. At one point I catch a glimpse of movement through the trees and with a closer look I realise it's Coulette, also running.

They're obviously forcing us together, ready for the endgame, but moments later she's out of sight again, her run angling away from mine.

After god only knows how long the trees suddenly break. I'm back at the abandoned village, where I came right at the start of The Games, what seems like months or longer ago, but in reality was about two weeks ago.

I continue to sprint toward the nearest building, but a quick glance back reveals the mutts have stopped at the edge of the forest. This is it then, Coulette and Jeremiah will be at the town within minutes, if they're not here already. Quickly I hurry through the buildings, expecting to be attacked at any moment, but no-one else is here and I make it to the warehouse and scurry into the same hiding place I used to hide from the careers back…well, back when they were all still alive.

I am very grateful I've managed to get in here unnoticed, because I need to sleep so badly, and, knowing it's likely to be either my last sleep of the games or my last sleep ever, I quickly drift away.