Lady Deadpool: I can't believe you dropped HIM in HER lap. She is going to go nuts.
Scott: Yes, very amusing pun. I take it you are happy with your boyfriend.
Lady Deadpool: Hell Yes! He's cute, hot, and attentive in bed. Completely makes up for not getting to sleep with Spidey.
Scott: Good. Well, your male counterpart managed to successfully get a special weapon, so I thought you would like the 75H (Holding up image of weapon in question)
Lady Deadpool: Do you want to father my first and second born?
Scott: No need, just do the disclaimer.
Lady Deadpool: Scott the Wanderer does not own Marvel Comics, which is a shame, and is making no money off this. Though, I am tempted to arrange an orgy for him for giving me that gun.
"So what's up with the kid? He smells like Spider-man but…off." Logan asked as he exited the Avenger's infirmary. As an active member, he'd come with Hank just in case decisions would need to be made.
"Of that I have no doubt, Logan. His genetic profile is almost identical to Spider-man's, except this Y chromosome. That particular Chromosome looks to be engineered." Dr. Henry McCoy was currently looking over the test results shaking his head. "His regenerative capabilities are much greater than I would have expected. Not as extensive as yours, but he has managed to completely heal from the gunshot wound in the few hours he has been here. I would surmise Spider-man has a similar ability but is so rarely injured we never noticed. However, there is evidence that this young man may have been in a program similar to the one that created X-23."
"What? Those bastards tried to weaponize Webhead? Are they insane?" Logan was so shocked he dropped the cigar he had been chewing on.
"It's a possibility. Every bone in his body has been broken several times and fortified with calcium and ceramics. His tendons have been treated with a compound to increase their strength and elasticity. His muscles, including his heart have been treated with a number of chemicals that Weapon X used on you to increase strength and durability." Hank replied with a straight face. It was all he could do to stop himself from growling as he spoke. He had read what had been done to X-23 and evidence was this man had gone through similar. "He is physically as powerful now as Spider-man is. Given that our records show that Spider-man was about two thirds as powerful at age seventeen as he now, this is worrying."
"A little beyond worrying, Hank. I can barely keep ahead of Spider-man now. In a few years, that will not be true anymore." Steve Rogers stepped up. "Ironman collected readings of the area. There was some dimensional fluctuations still lingering but dissipating. It is possible he is not local, at all. How is he faring?"
"During the tests he moaned a few names. Peta, Uncle Mat, Joanne, Marcus, Gary…Obviously loved ones of some sort. He continued to be agitated until Doreen took his hand then he calmed down." Hank shook his head with a slight chuckle at the scowl Logan sent at him. "I asked her to stay with him."
"Good idea. Logan, we are going to need to bring in Emma, Rachel or the Cuckoos for surface scan of his mind. I don't need a rampaging Spider-man in here. I'd ask for SHIELD Psiops, but they'd want to take him into custody." Steve sighed as he thought of just what Maria Hill would do with a weaponized Spider-man. Nick was only marginally better.
"Probably going to be the Cuckoos. Emma is negotiating the purchase of the land surrounding the Institute. Rachel is busy using Cerebra to update our Mutant Database. So that leaves the Corn Children." Logan wasn't happy about that. The girls were a lot like their mother in some respects, but they also were the best he had on hand. "I'll make sure they know not to screw around in there."
Wanda had just seen Rogue off. They had managed to do something in the last few hours that she had once thought impossible. They had rebuilt the bridge that Wanda has accidently nuked out of creation. No, they'd never be the best of friends, but Rogue no longer wanted her dead. ~I'll call that progress.~ Wanda chuckled as she did up the few dishes in the sink. "Maybe my life is looking up." ~Shit! I did not just say that out loud! When I am going to learn?~ Wanda cussed herself out as she realized she had just jinxed herself.
What she saw next clarified just how screwed she was. Walking up to her back door were the two women she most feared talking to at this point: Carol Danvers and Jessica Drew. ~Shit! Shit! Shit! Can't anything be easy?~ She was tempted to hex the back lock so the spare key wouldn't work, but that would buy her only a minute, maybe two. Not to mention piss the two off more than they already appeared to be. ~I'll just have to pray they don't decide to tear me a new one.~ Before Carol could try her key in the lock, Wanda had opened the door. "Had a feeling you two would show up. I have some leftover bacon cinnamon rolls."
"Expecting us?" Carol frowned as she processed that. ~Just why would she be expecting us? Did she...? No…not her style. Still there is something going on.~ "Why?"
Jessica had almost missed the cue to keep silent. She'd been about to supply the real reason for their visit, but like Carol had caught on to Wanda's nervousness. Of course she jumped to different conclusions. ~Oh my God! She is after Peter~
"Because of Spider-man. Either you are here to give the friendly warning or to warn me off." Wanda sighed as she motioned them towards the table. "I mean I can understand why. I don't have a good track record with my affairs." Wanda chuckled ruefully at that understatement. "I can't give you all the details, but I almost did something really, really stupid. I mean like kicking Bruce Banner in the balls stupid. It would have basically destroyed everything we have all worked for, and then some. So, I picked the one guy I knew would not abuse my powers and…" She left the rest to trail off in a mumble.
"Banner in the balls stupid? I really don't like the sound of that." Jessica murmured around her roll. "What exactly were you going to do?"
"Depower mutantkind around the globe." Wanda whispered. Again the pangs of regret that came from that mistake were nearly unbearable. She had caused so much pain and death. "Just before I did it I got a vision of what it would do. Jess, Carol everything good in this world would be ruined. The X-men split and Cyclops becoming a terrorist. The Government drafting every superhero and putting their identities in a server. Spider-man hunted like a criminal because he wanted to protect his Aunt. The return and sundering of the Phoenix due to our arrogance. The destruction of Wakanda and Atlantis. Mutants openly hunted by the Church of Humanity. The world nearly roasted by a madman and our only defender had to sacrifice a woman who loved him. Nothing was way it should be." Tears rolled down her cheeks as she spoke of the nightmare that she triggered. "I lived through every minute of that Hell. All because of a temper tantrum."
Carol was shock still as she heard the description of that terrible future. She had been about to take a bite of her cinnamon roll, but found herself unable. That world sounded as horrific as any warped future she had heard of. And given her friends she heard of them all. Blinking several times to attempt to get her mind working she placed her roll down and winced as she heard Jessica losing her lunch in sink.
"So, I decided I would do anything to change that future. I looked for a way, but only one answer presented itself." Wanda sniffled a bit as she tried to compose herself. "I needed someone of unquestionable moral fibre to bind myself to. I only knew one way to do it." Wanda hated lying, even if only by omission. Eventually they would need to know the truth, but telling them she made a deal with a devil would not go over well. "I'm his, forever. Sad thing is, I did it without his knowledge."
"So in order keep yourself from starting something worse than ending the world, you magically bound yourself to Our Spider-man?" Jessica said after she rinsed her mouth out. Seeing Wanda wince Jess pinched the bridge of her nose. "And did it without consulting him? God girl, what were you thinking?"
"She wasn't, not fully. She was scared and for a good damn reason." Carol huffed. She knew Wanda was not telling everything, but saw enough of the truth in her words that she figured whatever was left out was pointless to pursue. "And she gambled on the fact that Pete won't abuse what she did."
"Kinda ruins our chances though." Jessica grumbled.
"Why? I bound myself to him. It would be…cruel…to deny him a chance with the women who love him." Wanda shrugged. "Besides, I am not adverse to sharing. Well, now I am not. The bonding might have lowered my inhibitions a bit." Wanda could only smile as her two fellow Avengers stared at her slack jawed. "Oh, don't tell me you two weren't considering sharing him between you. I've seen you two flirt with him at the same time."
It did not take long for Jean Grey to track down Amora. Even concealing herself from detection Jean's psychic powers were impressive. Landing on the balcony of the Enchantress' suite, she dismissed the Phoenix flames. Focusing her mind she scanned the apartment and felt her anger nearly boil over. ~That BITCH!~ With quick psychic thrust she put Spider-man and Laura in to a deep sleep, before she barged in. "How DARE you attempt to seduce MY HUSBAND!"
Amora knew something was wrong the moment Peter had just passed out again. There were precious few people who could do that to him so easily. Her gut instinct told her she did not want to anger whoever had done this. Of course then any hope of a completely peaceful resolution went out the window the same moment Jean Grey walked in. "Oh, this will not be fun at all."
Incensed by Amora's lack of any contrition, Jean flung out her hand sending a wave of telekinetic force slamming into Amora. The Asgardian sorceress flipped twice before being slammed into a support pillar. "Choose your words carefully, Amora. They may be the last you make before you believe yourself to be a streetwalker for all eternity."
"I take it your Enchantress was a real bitch." Amora groaned out as she slumped to the floor, barely keeping her feet. ~She hits like Mjolnir.~ Spitting out a bit of blood in her mouth Amora pulled herself to her feet. "This isn't your Peter, Jean. I am not the Amora you know. She's probably one of the ones I hated talking to. I'll admit I was probably no better when I chased Thor. However, I have made my vows to this Peter when I came to understand love. I am quite…accck!"
"You speak just like her: Half truths and deceit." Jean said as she borrowed a page from Star Wars and was choking Amora telekinetically. "She chased after Spider-man for decades, until she finally married Thor one day. How do I know you are not lying to save your worthless life?"
"Willl…o-pen…mind…to…" Amora started to choke out, barely getting any air as Jean was crushing her windpipe. She knew if it was released she would be fine, provided she was still alive.
"I was going to peel it open, but this works better." Jean released the grip enough that Amora could breathe at the same time she dove into her mind. She was not gentle in it at all, making the goddess writhe in pain. After a few moments, jaw falling slack, Jean released all holds on the Asgardian. "You love him…truly love him."
"CACK! Cack!...Yes…yes, I do. No more than some others, though." Amora coughed repeatedly as her windpipe managed to come completely unblocked. "You better not be using him to replace your Peter."
"I wouldn't do that." Jean snapped back the flames of the Phoenix flickering in her eyes. It died down after a minute as her face slowly morphed in a mask of sorrow. "It's been centuries since I lost my Peter. Killed by something wearing a friend's face." Shaking her head she took a half step back. "It…it…it would be wrong to see him as a replacement…He isn't the same man…he's better than my husband ever was."
"So you raided the memories of this world's Jean, interesting. I am curious why she never pursued him." Amara straightened out her clothing and with a word cleaned up the mess the short struggled caused. "No offense to the dead, but her taste in men was not quite up where it should be."
"Familiarity. Scott and Logan were around more often and she eventually just settled for one of them. She then made herself fall in love with them. Telepaths can be just as delusional as everyone else." Jean shrugged as she was brought out her own recollections and into absorbed memories. "She chose the one that she thought would be faithful. She should have gone with her gut and introduced them to the proper people to love. Scott stumbled into it, but probably too late to reform Emma properly. As for Logan, well his perceived age is blinding him to the obvious answer. Okay…how the hell did we go from discussing our relationship with Peter to psychoanalyzing the dead and her love interests?"
"Morbid curiosity." Amora admitted with a shrug.
Celeste, Phoebe, and Irma 'call me Mindee' were most definitely intrigued. Unlike their 'mother' they had no distrust of X-23 at all. Everyone had a part of them that could be used against others; you just had to weigh the good with the bad. It seemed only natural that if someone made a clone of Wolverine and the White Queen, then they would want a Spider-man. It was, after all, what they would do.
"Hello, Doreen." The three of them said in unison as they entered the room.
"We were called in…"
"…to take a peek in…"
"…your new boyfriend's mind."
Doreen lifted her head from where it had been resting on the strange boy's hand. Twice she had tried to leave his side only to hear start to try and follow her. He'd been completely unconscious and hooked to a great deal of machinery, so he never got far. She didn't want to distress him in this state, but she was starving not to mention her bladder was fit to burst.
"Hello Cindi, Phoebe, and Mindee." She replied with a nod to each girl, easily getting who-was-who despite this being a day they dressed exactly the same. She honestly liked the Cuckoos given that she had seen beneath the veneer of aloofness they projected. Of course she liked most people, unless they were evil or Deadpool. "Do you think you could put him in a deeper sleep? I really need to powder my nose."
"One day soon…"
"…you will tell us…"
"…how you always know."
"Even Logan cannot tell us apart." Instead of alternating they finished together. "We will make him believe you are still here, now go."
"Oh, that's easy…the eyes." Doreen grinned before she released the young man's hands and dashed to the bathroom as fast as her squirrel speed could carry her.
Looking to each other the triplets shrugged. They would ask later. Pooling their power together they probed the young man's mind. A moment later their world went black as they screamed in pain.
"Busted…" Jessica drew it out as Wanda basically brought the not-so-secret forward. "Actually, Carol only agreed to it last night when she thought you were making a move on him."
"Does Peter suspect?" Carol was face palming over how obvious she must have been to everyone. ~I've done everything short of putting my panties in his pocket.~
"Pffft! He's oblivious to all of us." Wanda waved it off. "His ex-wife has confirmed he has the most infuriating ability to miss even the most obvious hints. We could plan a trip to Vegas, rent him a tux, and buy the rings and he would still be clueless until he saw us coming down the aisle."
"Yeah, that would be him. If it won't endanger or save the world… completely clueless." Jessica sighed heavily, her appetite slowly coming back. "I wonder how many women have been hitting on him all these years and we didn't notice."
"Well, the shorter list is probably who hasn't. Titania is the only one we can be sure hasn't flirted with him. As for who meant it…who knows…though if we are any indication of the type of women he attracts…" Carol shuddered for a moment. "Any fits of jealousy could level the city."
"Well, perhaps we can smooth the way with that if we can find a telepath for him." Jessica was only half joking, but then saw the looks on her friend's faces. They only got that look when they had an idea that would cause great amounts of havoc. ~Me and my big mouth.~
"And that is when Loki vowed to never prank any of my dates again." Amora said after the third story of how trying to meet Peter fell through for her. Loki had received a truly appropriate punishment for that prank.
It had taken nearly five minutes for Jean to stop laughing uproariously and tone it down to just occasional giggles. It wasn't so much what Amora went through but how she had literally pummeled Loki for it. The image of Amora chasing Loki around Asgard wielding the remains of her convertible as a club was just too much. Especially imagining the Enchantress of all people shoving the steering column where the sun does not shine on the Trickster. "You have to tell Peter that story…Oh God…That's just…just…You really shoved it in steering wheel first?"
"Yes. I loved that car. I paid extra for Vulcan to improve it and…and…that…" Amora took a deep breath and calmed herself down. Loki had been in Asgard when Thor's plan had occurred. No matter how angry at him she was, she should not speak too ill of him. "I really wanted to have the truly Midgard experience of sex in a car…that car as a matter of fact."
"Well, I have had sex in a backseat, it was okay." Jean shrugged. "Of course that was before Peter, and since we never owned a car…I guess we'll just have to get the same model and we can each have a much fonder memory of it."
"Yes, that will do…Wait, are you agreeing to share him with me?" Amora looked up at Jean in time to see the slight smile. "You already knew he would need multiple partners, didn't you?" Seeing the nod Jean gave, Amora's eyes narrowed. "I will be one of his wives. You will not relegate me to consort or concubine."
"Well, that is really his decision, but I am not against that." Jean shrugged. "I shared him with the Mary Jane of my universe, though she never married him…her choice not ours."
"Good. As long as we have that straight." Amora gave a curt nod as if it sealed the deal. "We should probably get him to Wanda before she starts tracking him down."
"Wanda? Wanda Maximoff? She's alive?" Jean's eyes nearly bugged out of her head as the implication came to her. "I thought the only way to stop M-Day and Decimation was to kill her…"
"I haven't a clue what you are referring to, Jean." Amora shrugged. "I know she was on the edge of a major freak out and Peter talked her out of it. That's all I know and scrying around her is…well it's not reliable."
"If the Enemy comes we may just have a chance." Jean whispered to herself and smiled. Shaking her head as she imagined a much brighter future, she spoke up. "We have to convince her to join us."
New Amsterdam Earth 11121
"Oh, bloody perfect!" Lady Elizabeth Braddock, known to her allies and enemies as Psylocke, swore in a thoroughly unladylike manor as she saw the situation. She had fought her way to the bridge of the Zepplicarrier, SHIELD's Mobile Headquarters, only to find the crew had been slaughtered by Mr. Hyde. The super strong villain had literally ripped people in half in his attempts to make certain the gigantic Hydrogen filled craft would crash into the city. Gathering her energies she contacted one of the few people who could help her that were still alive. [Doctor Arachnid, I have a real problem at the moment.]
[As do, my fair Lady. Mr. Hyde has just broken Super Patriot's back.] The slightly uneasy mental voice of the gentleman wallcrawler replied. [What, pray tell, could be so important to be interrupting my concentration in this confrontation?]
[The brute has killed the crew and Zepplicarrier is on a collision course with the Empire State Building.] Psylocke responded as she looked over the controls. She hadn't the faintest clue on piloting Zepplins, let alone on that Sir Stark had designed.
[Ah, I see. And you have never piloted a Zepplin. I'll wager you wish you had taken me up on my offer last year.]
[If you remember, you refused to engage in my preferred preflight activity.] Elizabeth shot back a little humor in answer to his. She knew he was more likely to get right to the point after a joke. [This is the state of the controls.]
[I came close to accepting, Psylocke, especially when you offered to bring another partner. Now let me think a moment.] There was a short pause. [With the crew dead there is no choice but to steer the vessel into the Statue of Sovereignty. You will have to jump before impact and even then…I fear for you.] Pictures of just what to do formed in her mind.
[I understand…Peter.] Elizabeth responded as she saw the likelihood she would die in what was coming. Given that it was January, she had no illusion that the icy water would be a painful death. Steeling herself for what was coming, Elizabeth steered the massive vessel into the symbol of the Colony's allegiance to the Crown. Watching with morbid curiosity as the bow erupted in white flames that came racing straight at her. Sending out one last thought she waited her fiery death. [Goodbye.]
Wanda's Kitchen
"And that should do it. We should see results in any second." Wanda smiled as she finished setting up the scrying bowl. The thought had been to find a possible telepath for their joint boyfriend. The reasoning behind that was that any jealousy could be smoothed over by a sort of group link. That was what Carol and Wanda decided Jessica had meant anyways. "I just hope it isn't Emma. I mean she is sexy, but I think she is happy with Scott. And we can agree Scott needs to stay happy."
"She might be sexy, but she can be a major bitch." Carol harrumphed. "She'd be more likely to sabotage anything rather than help anyways. Plus she has the School to worry about. Scott is Headmaster on paper, but we all know Emma runs the school. I mean Peter has always wanted to be a teacher, but I have no desire to live with umpteen zillion teenagers…yet."
"So, you're thinking someone with no links to others?" Jessica asked after a moment. "That would be hard to look for, even the Cuckoos had and they were made in a lab. Are just expecting someone that is telepathic, sexually adventurous, and wouldn't mind sharing Peter to fall into our proverbial lap?"
CRASH!
At that precise moment, Lady Elizabeth Braddock fell from a small portal near the ceiling crashing into the table. She lifted her head for a moment, looked at each woman, offered a slight smile, then passed out.
"Apparently I am." Wanda muttered.
"What kind of defenses does this kid have that he knocked out three Telepaths at once?" Steve Rogers was actually one asking, despite the fact that he knew his friend wanted to. Smelling salts was a good way to keep Logan from speaking for a moment, unless you wanted profanity.
"I am unsure Captain." Hank said clearly unnerved. While perhaps Jean or Emma were more powerful than the Cuckoos, the Three in One were capable of spreading any psychic backlash among three minds, making them tougher. "It is obviously not a conscious defense."
"There are no defenses in his mind." Phoebe started.
"We performed a surface scan as we were asked." Mindee piped in.
"In his current state he is reliving the last hours before his arrival here." Cindi elaborated.
"He is Jesse Drew, the Spectacular Spider-Man."
"He is a clone of the Amazing Spider-Woman."
"His world is different. The genders reversed."
"Heroes and Villains have similar names and powers, but are different."
"It is a dark, dark world. They executed Brenda Banner for being the Hulk."
"Mutants are hated more than they ever were here."
"He is no danger to us, but he might not adjust well.
"He thinks he died protecting his clone's Uncle."
"He is much like our Spider-man, including the bad jokes."
"Well, if he's like Webs, you ain't gonna have any problems with him." Logan said after a few moments. "Come on, girls it's time to head home."
"No." The Three in One spoke as such. "We are needed here. So far, only Doreen's presence calms him. She needs rest. When she rests we must take over and make him believe we are here."
"You know, I don't especially like being countermanded." Logan growled.
"We have no compunction against making you believe that Beer and Cigars taste like bodily wastes. The Professor's class four shields would only slow us down a fraction of a second."
"..On the other hand you are providing valuable assistance to the Avengers." Logan changed his tune quickly. When he got puzzled looks from others he shrugs. "Jean did that to me once for pinching her ass, I learned never piss off a telepath. Besides, they're right."
Deciding that perhaps discretion was the better part of valor, Hank, Steve and Logan left the teens alone. After a few moments, the Stepford Cuckoos took up similar vigil positions to Doreen who was resting her head on Jesse's shoulder.
"Are you three going to try to go out with Jesse?" Doreen asked after short while.
"We would not turn down a date with him. However we think he might prefer a bushy tailed angel he saw before he passed out." Mindee responded. "We just feel like helping him…we are not sure why."
"You know you sound like you have a bit of an identity crisis when you speak like that." Doreen shrugged when she got glares. "Just saying."
"We know. We think it is funny. And it is a test. When someone figures it out, we will hopefully be very happy." They spoke in unison again.
"Okay, though I wonder how is one guy going to keep up with all three of you." Doreen yawned before slipping off to sleep.
"Interesting."