She-Hulk: They do make a cute couple. I just want to hug them to pieces.
Scott: Wow, that's a different aspect of you.
She-Hulk: My biological clock. It's been in overdrive since you showed me who my Beau is. He's just so cute and I just know we will such cute babies.
Scott: Ah, I see. I assume that is your way of asking to join the pudding club.
She-Hulk: See, I knew you would get it.
Scott: Give the disclaimer and we'll talk
She-Hulk: Scott the Wanderer does not own Marvel Comics. He does not own any character that appears in this story. If he did, kids would not be allowed to purchase the comics anymore. Though most of us would be happier.
"Uhm…that wasn't intentional was it?" Jessica asked the only question that could pop to her mind that the moment. Well, there were more, but that was the most important.
"No, definitely not. I was merely trying to scry for a possible compatible partner." Wanda explained. "Someone who was Telepathic, attracted to Peter, and willing to enter polyamorous relationship with us. Something shorted out in the Probability Matrix and changed the meaning of a few runes."
"Parker Luck." Carol pinched the bridge of her nose as she took a wild stab at what happened. "You're practically married to nexus of weird luck for the universe. My guess is she is a perfect fit but was A) In another universe, B) About to die, or given Parker Luck C) Both."
"I had forgotten how fickle the universe is with him." Wanda sighed. Taking a moment to more carefully examine Elizabeth she finally recognized her by the tattoo over her left eye. "This is Psylocke. Or at least a Psylocke, I don't remember her costume being a corset, skirt, fishnets and goggles."
"Psylocke? The X-men's telepathic ninja?" Jessica's eye widened as she racked her memory. "Oh this will definitely be interesting. I've seen her fight, she's damn good. I hope she wakes up in a good mood then. I hate fighting telepaths. Usually you can take them hand to hand, but with her that isn't guaranteed."
"Reed, amends must be made for last night." Susan Richards practically purred as she entered Reed's lab wearing nothing more than a garter belt, fishnets and stiletto heels. She had gotten Ben to take the children to visit the Xavier Institute. Johnny and Wanda were God knows where indulging one of Wanda's fantasies. She was going to enjoy this afternoon with her husband.
"Amends for last night? You didn't do anything wrong." Reed replied almost mechanically as he was filling out another set of equations. "I thought about it and going to help Spider-man was indeed to correct decision, despite the fact he handled it alone. The Abomination could have damaged the lab in a rampage and that delay would have been far greater than tagging along." Reed did not actually believe any of that. He just wanted to placate Sue so she would leave him alone. He hadn't even looked in her direction to respond to her. "So no need to apologize."
"No, Reed, you need to apologize for not coming to take care of me." Sue ground out.
"Oh…that…I was not in the mood, Susan." Reed replied still not looking at her as he corrected a few symbols.
"You have not been 'in the mood' for a year, Reed. Toys only go so far." Susan ground out, clearly not happy with that response. Until last year they'd had a very active sex life, as Reed's appetite matched hers. Then it just suddenly stopped. "That isn't normal for men, period."
"No, I have not. I am not exactly normal." Reed replied as if it explained everything.
"And I loved that about you, Reed." Sue replied grabbing a lab coat as she was no longer near the mood herself. "Lately however it has been harder and harder to love you. You have been becoming increasingly distant to our allies, our friends, our children and finally me. What has gotten into you?"
"I have been prioritizing everything, Susan." Reed replied as he continued to write, still not looking at her. "I have been focusing on what is important. My theories will reshape the world forever. Forgive me if improving mankind is wrong."
"No, that is not wrong…but you need to spend time with your friends, your family, your children and definitely your wife." Susan hated pleading, but was not above it. "It's those things that people will remember."
"Incorrect. People do not remember Einstein spending time with his family." Reed replied as he changed a symbol. "It matters little. I severed my friendships and I have no wife or family."
"What? Reed we've been married..."
"Our vows were satisfied when we were declared deceased." Reed replied with a shrug. "I never renewed our license, so we are in fact no longer married. To be fair I put half of our accumulated funds in your private accounts."
"What about Franklin and Valeria?" Sue was shocked by his matter of fact way of announcing the dissolution of their marriage. ~I'll cry over it later, I just need to get through to him.~
"I have provided generous allowances for their care and education. They are no longer a priority in my life." Reed responded just as coldly as before. "Franklin has no interests in being a scientist, and Valeria hardly needs me to instruct her given her current level of academics. In ten years she may be up to a level beyond your grasp at that point I will oversee her education if my experiments allow."
"Not a priority? Not a priority? Our children are not a priority to you? Who are you and what have you done to Reed?" Susan snapped at this point, encasing the man in front of her most powerful force-field. Turning him in place she looks in his eyes as she presses the question again. "Who are you?"
"Doctor Reed Nathaniel Richards. I have done nothing to myself aside from setting aside my discontinued experiments." Reed replied in a perfectly even tone. "I had considered telling you my plans, but that would have tainted the experiment. Family units are inefficient at raising the next generation. It would have been far better to grow a genetically engineered offspring and insert the pertinent knowledge."
"WE WERE AN EXPERIMENT? ARE YOU INSANE?" Susan was beyond furious. If she was sure she could crush his family jewels she would have, in a heartbeat. "I AM GOING GET XAVIER AND…"
"HERBIE, protocol 2239 Alpha." Reed said calmly and closed his eyes. The entire room flashed with a very specific wavelength of light, one he'd been inspired to produce after watching a movie. When he opened his eyes he noticed Susan had a completely blank expression. "Susan our marriage and relationship has been over for some time. All attempts to reconcile are impossible, let it die." Smiling as a thought occurred to him he added. "You came here in a last ditch effort to make me love again and failed. I am giving you full custody. You will find a suitable father figure for your children and not attempt to contact me again."
"Nicely done, Mephisto." The cloaked figure smiled as they watched the scene in a viewing pool. "Removing his capability to love was a master stroke. Especially given he does not remember relinquishing it. He is ripe for my offer."
"Yes, one of my better deals: The destruction of his love for the return of little Valeria." Mephisto chuckled. "He has no clue I desperately wanted that clean soul out of my realm as quickly as possible. Have I redeemed myself in your eyes?"
"Yes, Sundering the Four will weaken the champions of that dimension. You are again one of my favorites." The figure nodded. "I hear your Granddaughter plots against you. Is this true?"
"Unfortunately she is, though her efforts center around Spider-man. Should I eliminate her?"
"No, you cannot do that. She is bound to the Center very closely. Destroying her will just accelerate His emergence. It is better to leave her alone and strike when He binds her. Her darkness could turn the Center into an ally."
"As you wish."
Any further contemplation or discussion regarding the psychic ninja on Wanda's kitchen table was interrupted by the doorbell. As Peter had a key and her address was known to precious few people, Wanda could not help but wonder who could be there. Especially, since she had constructed wards to keep most people away. Begging her pardon from Carol and Jessica, Wanda headed for the door. She was not prepared at all for who she saw. There in all her glory was Jean Grey supposedly back from the dead. Before Wanda could react, the redheaded telepath caught her up in a searing kiss. Wanda had wanted to protest, but in moments her only thought was along the lines of: ~Damn! Jean can kiss~
"Hmm, no wonder you were so happy to hear she was alive. I assume she was your lover before Peter?" Amora asked with an amused tone of voice as she watched the exchange. "When you are done examining her tonsils perhaps we could move this inside. As much as the neighbors appreciate the show, I doubt that we can discuss everything out here."
Jean very reluctantly released Wanda from the passionate kiss with a chagrinned look about her. "I am sorry, Wanda. I realize your Jean was never that close to you…but it has just been so long." Jean sighed softly. "Amora is right we should take his inside."
"My Jean? Close? Lovers? Long? Amora!" Wanda's mind had been spinning. While she had experimented with other women earlier in life, it had never affected her like Jean's kiss had. So for a moment her mind locked, until she heard of possible danger. Chaos energy wreathing her hand she pointed at Asgardian Sorceress and prepared to end the threat. Only to see a young woman step between them, extending two pairs of claws. "What are you doing here, Enchantress?"
"Please, Wanda, I swear I am here peacefully." Amora held up her hands in a placating gesture, clearly not summoning any hostile magic. "I swear on my beauty that I mean no harm to the people in this dwelling or those they love. So mote it be." There was a brief flash of green light confirming the sealing of the vow. "I have forsaken my quest to marry Thor Odinson. I have dedicated myself to a new pursuit, redeeming myself so that my True Love may one day love me in return."
"And given the strangeness going on recently, I assume that person would be a certain webslinger." Wanda sighed as she lowered her hand, dissipating the magic she had gathered harmlessly. "And I think I recognize your friend, I cannot think of her name at the moment so forgive me for not using it." Wanda nodded to the girl and gave a soft smile to see her relax a fraction. Looking to Amora her tone chilled a bit. "I am half tempted to tell you to fuck off, but I am getting the feeling that is not an option. Come in and meet the others."
"Laura is Amora's adopted sister." Jean cocked her head towards the girl as she explained. "What others?"
"Ms Marvel, Spider-Woman and Psylocke. Though only the first two are from this world. "I swear ever since I spoke with MJ my life resembles a romantic comedy more and more."
"Déjà vu, I was just saying I would love to have her around." Amora chuckled as she followed the others in.
Spider-man was still trying to process what the Enchantress had explained to him. It seemed all to surreal. One of Thor's rogue gallery was actually in love with him. If you had told him that was possible he would have laughed for hours and possibly sprained something. Yet it was truth as far as he could tell. More disturbing was that Amora had flat out told him she had already declared herself for him. She would never be with another male willingly. He'd been about to attempt to release her from such a vow when she explained there was no divorce amongst Asgardians. Once she gave the vows she was his for eternity. As if that wasn't enough she insisted she would not be the only woman.
"Well, either my Karma finally kicked in or true to my luck this will bite me in the ass." Spidey summed up his thoughts as switched lines, preparing for his final approach to Avenger's Mansion. Touching the communicator on his belt he waited one moment while the mic powers up. "Arachnid one to Homebase: Making my approach from quadrant four. Over."
{Homebase to Arachnid one: We have you on scope, you are clear for approach. Be advised Cap wants to speak with you immediately. Out.}
~Great! What did I do now?~ Spidey groaned as he turned off the mic. "I wonder if they heard about Amora."
After nailing the dismount, Spider-man punches in his authorization code into roof door. Since he had written the new encryptions there had not been a single breach of the codes. ~And they laughed at me for using Klingon as the base language.~ Heading down to the main lounge he was not surprised to find Cap waiting for him. The presence Beast, Iron Man and Wolverine made him a little nervous, though. As one they had stopped talking and were regarding him rather strangely.
"Okay, I admit it. I am secretly Galactus. Bow before the World Devourer!"As Spidey had hoped it caused all four men to at least snicker, though the loudest laugh was from Hank McCoy. "Now that I have lightened the mood, what's up?"
"Well we have three things we wish to discuss, Son." Captain America said after he recovered from the chuckles. "First is the news that supposedly Amora the Enchantress has declared you her husband. It's a bit…"
"Nuts, Wacko, Cuckoo, Insane, Silly, Far-Fetched…" Tony started supplying with grin.
"…Complicated." Steve shot Tony a glare. "We have already consulted two mystics and Brunhilde…"
"Yeah, Blondie was NOT happy at all. She wanted to go skewer her." Logan chuckled at the barely suppressed rage the Valkyrie had shown.
"…According to all of them, Amora has never actually claimed a Husband in quite the way she did when she thrashed the Sinister Six." Steve continued after the interruption ended. "Stephen said if she told you she made the Vows then her claim is absolute truth. Asgardians cannot lie about the Vows, the magic concerning them would kill the person before they could utter the lie. So…"
"Damn, I was hoping perhaps this was a prank on some level." Spidey muttered as he heard that news. "She swore to me she made her end of the Vows, even if I never make mine."
"Hey, that deserves a toast!" Tony cheered and poured himself a finger of scotch. "To the newlyweds." See everyone glare at him he shrugged. "What?"
"Stark's got a point. From what we were told, she couldn't make the vows unless she loved him the way he was." Logan shrugged. "Means she's gonna hafta change to be with him. That can only be good news."
"It is not all roses. Amora has caused quite a deal of damage over the years. Now that she will be a permanent resident of Earth, she could be sued for damages." Hank shuddered at the thought. "This could tie up Spider-man as he will likely be called as a witness in any court proceedings."
"Great." Spider-man pinched the bridge of his nose. "Given how I am not JJ's favorite person he would likely lead the charge in lawsuits just to tie me up in court. Please tell me the rest is good news."
"Well, the next one is just weird. Earlier today, Doreen Green stumbled across a dimensional traveler with a rather interesting link to yourself." Tony barely kept from chuckling. "He was badly injured and is now in our Infirmary. After a telepathic probe of surface thoughts it was discovered he is a clone of his dimension's analog of you. Spidey, I'll be bluntly honest, he was treated a lot like X-23 was by whoever cloned him. Still he almost died trying to save someone the original loved. The Stepford Cuckoos think he is like you in personality. We aren't asking you to do anything. We just thought you should know."
"Never rains but it pours." Spidey sighed. "When he is able to take visitors I wanna talk with him. Contact Scarlet Spider in Houston too, he's a clone of mine. We'll help him get settled."
"Good." Steve nodded. "As for the last thing, we'd like to you attend a formal meeting tonight at seven. Please ask Wanda to come, and if you can manage it Amora as well."
"Well, rekindling the romance is definitely out." Susan muttered to herself as she started packing her clothes. As she remembered things she had made one last attempt to start something new with her former husband. Now she was leaving as her home just did not feel that way anymore. "HERBIE, pack Franklin and Valeria's clothing and toys. I am not staying another night with that man."
"Yes Miss Storm." The robot responded before hurrying to accomplish it's task.
"I just have to figure out where I can go." Susan felt like crying. In fact the tears were already flowing down her cheeks. So many years down the drain and she had no clue why. "It was like one day Reed just stopped loving me and the children."
"That could very well be the truth Susan." The somewhat familiar voice of Mary-Jane Watson replied as if she had always been there. Taking out a Van Dyne original from Susan's closet the redhead smiled. "I always did say you had excellent taste in clothes."
"What?" Drawing on a life time of experience Susan erected a skin tight forcefield around herself, preparing for an attack. When she recognized the familiar redhead, she lowered her guard a bit. They had talked a bit thanks to the Fantastic Four's close relationship with Spider-man. "Mary Jane? How did you get in here?"
"Teleported. Handy trick now that I am used to it." MJ chuckled. Seeing the glare the former actress/model sighed. "Fine, if you must know I have come into a fair deal of power. I swear I will never wear a Van Dyne again if I hurt you or yours."
"Hmm, no. That won't do. I remember you after the divorce. Swear you will never try to get back with Peter if you cause harm." Susan arched an eyebrow as she watched MJ pale a bit.
"Fine, if I cause you or your children harm I will never try to be with Peter again." MJ growled. "I reserve the right to kick Johnny if he crosses any lines and Reed is fair game."
"I can live with that." Susan nodded as she lowered her shield, but stayed ready to act. "Just how did you acquire the ability to teleport."
"Well, that came part and parcel with getting a new mom." Mary Jane shrugged as she started slipping dresses into garment bags. "The important part is what I am doing with my power. Seems I inherited some habits from Peter. Unfortunately, I am bound by the rules to not act directly. It's frustrating, very frustrating."
"I'll bet. The Mary Jane I remember once decked a producer for daring to dangle a part in front of her with the understanding she'd need to sleep with him to get it." Susan chuckled at the memory. "Then went and seduced his wife, the real money in the equation."
"Yep, my first threesome. From what I hear, Miss Higgins divorced her worthless husband and started pursuing an actor that looked a lot like Peter." MJ smiled at the memory of her and Peter basically wearing one fine looking cougar out. "I didn't come to reminisce though. I'm here to throw another monkey wrench in plans of my new Grandpa. Do you have plans for where you are going?"
"Actually…no, I don't." Susan sighed as she thought of all the people that might help her. She let her kids visit Xavier's because Franklin was pretty close with a few of them, but there was no way she was going to live with Emma Frost. She didn't hate the woman, but she was not going to give her access to Franklin or Valeria on a daily basis. Emma was a little too free with using power, and while she developed a set of guiding principles lately, the last thing anyone needed was Franklin Richards with a nonchalant attitude towards his powers. As for Valeria, she was a sponge and soaked up traits of those around her. A ruthless Valeria was just scary.
"Thought so." MJ nodded as she pulled a business card out of her cleavage. Handing it to Susan, she continued. "Here's the address of a place you should consider. Today about five in the afternoon is the best time to catch all the occupants at their best. I swear, your only regret will be that you never took me up on what you thought was a joke."
Susan had been entranced by the neatly printed card. Only a single line was there, a street address. "What joke?" She asked as she looked up to see MJ gone, but everything packed neatly. "The only joke I can remember MJ making was her willingness to share…no…that can't be it…can it?"
"AMORA!" Lady Elizabeth 'Call me Betsy' Braddock tackled the blonde Asgardian as soon as she had entered the kitchen. The action had been so fast nobody had even a moment to register it, let alone act. Laura had moved to render aid, but stopped as she saw that Betsy was raining kisses on the woman's face. "You're alive! How? That vile brute had twisted your head around!"
~I could seriously get used to this!~ Amora's brain locked for a moment, but then the words sunk in. Using a small bit of her senses the Sorceress could feel the after effects of dimensional travel. Apparently, this Psylocke was exceptionally close to her universe's Amora and had witnessed her killed. If this had been even a year ago, Amora would have used it shamelessly. Since she had discovered her true feelings she knew acting that way was impossible for her. "Not that I am not enjoying this, but I am not your Amora."
Puzzled by how her long time girlfriend and co-founder of the 'We can share Doctor Arachnid' club was not kissing her, or at least fondling, Elizabeth slowed her kisses. Then she heard Amora deny being hers. Eyes flashing purple she extended a psychic blade and entered Amora's mind. The sudden influx of information was enough to jolt her back into unconsciousness.
"Why does every psychic have to mind rape me!" Amora growled as psychic knife dissipated. While it was much more pleasant than what Jean had done, she still felt a little violated.
"Karma?" Jessica Drew offered actually amused by the situation.
"Yeah, I'll go with Karma, too." Carol offered after the short mental conversation with Jean was finished.