Deadpool: Why am I not in the story yet? It's been seven chapters already!
Scott: Yeah, but only a little over 24 hours.
Deadpool: Oh…yeah…but I want to play with my new toy!
Scott: Well, the good Reverend Stryker could use an attitude adjustment…
Deadpool: Racist ass who perverts religion to excuse his bigotry…That could be fun…
Scott: Have at it…Here's a crate each of plasma cartridges, K-Hex Fragmentation Missiles, and explosive .30cal caseless, just give the disclaimer.
Deadpool: Scott the Wanderer does not own Spider-man, Marvel Comics or any associated characters. He's making no money off this. Which makes me wonder how he got me this cool toy.
Scott: I was the one googolth costumer to make an order with manufacturer
"You know when you said there was this club we just had to go to. I thought you meant a great party!" Johnny Storm was wreathed in his customary flames as he poured out gouts of flame at the patrons. The fact they were vampires was the only reason he was following his insane girlfriend's lead. "I just didn't occur to me that you would take me to an Austrian Vampire Club!"
"I know…I'm great aren't I?" Wanda Wilson, the Lady Deadpool was having the time of her life slicing her way through the undead. She wasn't going for beheadings, merely lopping off limbs as Johnny incinerated to helpless blood suckers. "We're getting paid two million for this job…each. I know your rich, but you spend money like water. I have to make sure you can keep me in the manner I am used to. Beer, Pizza, Ammo and Condoms are not cheap you know."
"Fine…does the contractor want the building intact?" Johnny asked after flinging a fireball at a shotgun wielding vamp who about to shoot Wanda.
"Nope…Scorched earth is okay." Wanda said as she back-flipped kicking one fledgling vamp in the jaw, shattering it.
"Body slide out, I'll handle this." Johnny said with no hesitation.
"Alright, spoil all my fun." Wanda pouted under mask before triggering her personal teleporter. A moment later she was across the street.
"It was foolish of you to send your ally away, Mr. Storm." A tall well built man entered the main club area from one of the few private booths. "I was hesitant to attack you together."
"Not sure who you are, but better start confessing your sins." Johnny chuckled as he began the build up to a SuperNova effect.
"Fool, mere flames cannot harm me. I am Vlad the Imp…ARRRGH."
Whatever Lord Dracula was going to say following that was never to be known by anyone. While the so called King of Vampires was immune to most flames, the SuperNova explosion of the Human Torch was not normal. The intense heat, light and flames were second only standing on the surface of a blue-white star. Luckily some mental block kept Johnny Storm from creating more than a millisecond of the effect. That was too long for even one like Dracula to withstand. There wasn't even bones left, let alone the building they had been in.
"I love that man." Wanda giggled as she watched her boyfriend basically explode like a miniature atom bomb. "I am going to have to go ring shopping."
"So you are finally going to go through with it?" Jubilee leaned in the doorway of Kitty Pryde's room. "I'm more than a little jealous you finally managed to crack him."
"Yes, we are. And believe me it was like pulling teeth." Kitty chuckled as she packed her suitcase. "With all that has happened between us I was beginning to think it would never come. I actually had to propose. Do you realize how messed up that is? What is it with older men and moving so slowly?"
"If I knew I would tell you Kitty. I haven't had much luck either." Jubilee shook her head as she contemplated her own love life. "I'm still surprised he agreed to elope. I would have thought he would be more traditional."
"Oh he is. We're planning a big ceremony for June, but we don't want all the extra pressure to ruin it. You know, I want you to be a bridesmaid at the big ceremony. I'd ask you to come for the elopement, but I know you have plans this weekend."
"I'd be happy to, Kitty. I know we haven't always gotten along. Truth be told I was jealous of how close you were with Logan." Jubilee sighed softly. "I was a spoiled brat at times."
"No more than me when Logan was pining over Jean." Kitty chuckled. Closing her suitcase, she approached Jubilee to give her a warm hug. "I figure it was karma. But we're family and family fight, but they always have your back."
"Speaking of having my back, do I have your blessing to pursue the clueless bastard?" Jubilee's asked hopefully even as she hugged Kitty back. "Cause I have to say I don't have the familial feelings for him you do."
"Sweetie, of course you do. Whatever romantic feelings I might have had for him are completely gone." Kitty nodded. "Just make him happy, because he's been hurt…a lot."
"You know, Bruce, I do not understand women, at all." Spider-Man was sitting perched next to familiar gargoyle as he tried to sort through things. "First there is Wanda. We've talked a few times mostly holidays and post mission. I never got the impression she actually liked me, tolerated sure, but not really friendly. Yesterday I am her go to guy when she is freaking out, then she moves me into her house and is not at all subtle about how she sees me as date material. Okay, I can deal with that. Then Amora the Enchantress is calling me her husband. According to Valkyrie, it's official on her end of things and there is definitely no divorce in Asgard. Okay, this can cause problems and possibly a dead Spider-Man. If this wasn't enough I have an Inbox full of Carol and Jessica selfies that would put Penthouse out of business all captioned 'Wish you were here.' And we're not even going to discuss the video." Peter paused for a moment then shook that off. "Then there is the voicemail from Susan saying she and Reed are through and we need to talk. I am beginning to think whatever being is in charge of Parker Luck has figured out that Women are much more likely to kill me than super powered nutcases."
Bruce for his part was completely silent as stone gargoyles are known to be. However on the other side of the Gargoyle an invisible Mary Jane had to bite her hand to keep from laughing hysterically. Her plans were coming along perfectly. Now it was only a matter of time before Peter was ready for her part in the scheme. Then she would actually be able to take on her grandfather and win.
"Well…you might have a point there." Amora had pouted for a moment before flashing a genuine smile. While Jessica and Carol had not been sympathetic they hadn't been as callous as she might have deserved. "Our guest is likely to be out for an hour, unless someone revives her. She's had a very bad day."
"Well, I guess we should set her someplace more comfortable. While your breasts are probably a great pillow, I can't imagine you make that good of a mattress." Jean chuckled as she started levitating the unconscious Betsy. "So, has anyone a clue how we are going to convince our man that monogamy is not the life for him?"
"Short of tying him to a chair and teasing him till his libido takes over, I've got nothing." Jessica shrugged as she grabbed one last cinnamon roll. She couldn't remember all of last night but she had burnt a lot of calories. "He's not quite the typical guy. If he was, we all wouldn't be in love with him."
"I'm not…" Wanda went to dismiss that claim, but found she really couldn't. The Bonding did not force love on her, but since the Deal had been struck she had been taking the time to analyze all her interactions with Spider-Man. She had to admit that the few times they had talked, actually talked, were some of her best memories that didn't involve her sons.
"Sure you're not." Carol mocked just a bit sarcastically, though there was humor dancing in her eyes. "I said the same thing a while ago. It gets easier when you accept it."
"I find it fascinating that none of you are currently displaying any territorial behaviors." Laura said after a moment. "The initial interactions have been strained. However, it seems the moment you recognize that you each have feelings for Peter your attitudes change to acceptance if not outright camaraderie. You are even beginning to form sub-clicks in this group. For instance Jessica and Carol are close whereas Jean seems to favor Wanda. It is an interesting dynamic in your coven."
"Coven?" Almost in perfect harmony the conscious women each asked the same question.
"There are historically two groups of women who share a single husband: The harem and the coven." Laura started her explanation. "The harem is often formed by the male and includes his wives, slaves and mistresses. The only goal of a harem is perpetuation of the male's bloodline. A coven is a group of women who are united in one purpose. In your case it is the love and support of Peter Parker aka Spider-Man. That there are two witches in this coven is just happenstance."
"A coven." Amora said after a moment and chuckled. "Well, it fits. And gives us a framework to begin from. The coven is based on the principal that we will never betray Peter or each other. The bond between us will be forged of love and trust. We all love Peter or an incarnation of him and we have to trust that each of us will not attempt to steal him for themselves."
"Blessed be." Carol's smirk transformed into a look of dawning horror. "Oh God! I think his sense of humor is infectious!"
"Thanks for picking us up Petey. My car has been acting up." Jennifer Walter reclined in the back of the van driven by one of her boyfriend's teammates. She still wasn't sure about how she had fallen for the blue mutant, but it was her best relationship by far. Looking over to right she saw Brunhilde looking out the window, the woman's recent good mood had been spoiled by the odd declaration of the Enchantress. "Val, are you sure you're up for Vegas?"
"Verily, I crave the distraction. Amora's claim of marriage on the Spider-Man has vexed me sorely." Valkyrie sighed as she leaned back. "My Betrothed will improve mine mood considerably."
"Da, I was confused by the Enchantress' actions as vell." Piotr Rasputin nodded even as he changed lanes. He'd been in the Avenger's mansion helping negotiate a shared school for children with super powers. He was not as close to Spider-Man as the others, but he respected the webslinger greatly. "You do not think it is a plot to corrupt him, do you?"
"If Amora had simply claimed to love him, perhaps. She is a wily seductress." Brunhilde sighed as she remembers tearing apart one of Starks training robots in a pique of rage after seeing the video. "She hath claimed him as Husband and she could not do that if she wanted to change him. What hath me enraged is that mine vengeance on Amora is never likely to come to pass. She hath tortured me for so long that her happiness angers me."
"I can understand that. I mean is Titania started dating a decent guy I think I would be completely pissed too." Jennifer sighed heavily. "Of course we don't know, Spidey could be complete uninterested in her. Could be some good old fashioned Karma coming her way."
"And as much as that would amuse me, I cannot wish such a fate upon her. Before I had met my Betrothed, I would have without a care. Now…I find I am mostly angry that we have similar taste in husbands." Brunhilde's chuckle was dark.
"Da, I could see vhere that vould be upsetting. You vant to think you are nothing like her for all she has done to you, but you find a similarity and makes you question if you are more alike than you care admit." Piotr nodded as she thought of some of his own rivalries, especially with a British secret agent. "Take my advice, just think of it as Amora having good taste as her redeeming virtue. Aside from your hair color there is not much else you have in common."
"And this is why I like hanging around with you Petey. You stopped over analyzing stuff a long time ago." Jennifer smiled even as she playfully kicked the back of his seat. "Don't fret over everything, Val. With Spider-Man around, Amora is not going to be stirring up the cesspit anymore. Now if we could just get some of the other villainesses a decent guy…"
" 'Twould be easier if my Betrothed was not one of Spider-Man's close friends. I have not a doubt I will be in her presence often." Brunhilde wanted to thrash something. "If 'twere left to me I would never see her again."
"Yeah, can't help you there." Jennifer commiserated a bit. "On the bright side, between your beau and Spidey, the webslinger is infinitely more annoying. I mean he never shuts up…ever."
Brunhilde looked to Jennifer for a moment then broke out in a large grin. She knew Amora had to meditate every day, and the Sorceress was very easily distracted. Images of her tormenter being tormented by Spider-Man's inane babble just made all of her anger melt away. "Perhaps, I hath not thought this through fully."
"Ugh, did anyone get the name of the unrepentant bastard who flattened me?" Betsy Braddock slowly came to her whole body aching from the sudden dimensional shift and then her forced nap after attacking this world's Amora. It had taken her mind nearly an hour to assimilate everything she could from the Asgardian Sorceress.
"Well, that would be my fault…kinda…not sure how that happened." Wanda said wringing her hands as she wondered just how her power had gone so awry. Shoving that aside she summoned a cup of tea for the telepathic ninja.
"No matter how it went awry, we all agree better to have you here with us then dead at the bottom of the harbor." Amora said after a moment. "We have a proposition for you, Eli…er…Betsy."
"Can whatever it is wait until after my head stops pounding?" Betsy had not been lady like as her mother would have wanted, and getting the slang and language from Amora's head helped her distance herself even more. She know new she was in another world and it pained her a little to never again see the man she had come to love. However when she tried to think of him she got an entirely different image in her mind. "And can someone explain why when I think of Doctor Arachnid I see a man dressed in skintight clothing?"
"We believe that Doctor Arachnid was your world's analog of Spider-Man." Jean said after a moment. Amora had filled them in on the sections of Betsy's life that were not too private. "Just as there are versions of all of us in your world. I do find it very interesting your Amora was an adventurer and not a villain."
"In my defense I was deluding myself into thinking I loved Thor and was trying to get his attention." Amora huffed as she remembered just how bad she had been. "I admit I have a lot of wrong to correct, but could we please not dwell in the past?"
"We can do that." Jessica nodded as she remembered things that she had done under Hydra control. "Can't we. It isn't like we all haven't done things that we are ashamed of."
The general murmurs of assent came from around the room as everyone began to feel a little bit like a heel. It was true, they had all made mistakes, and some of them had been huge. However any self contemplation people might have gone to was shattered by the doorbell.
"You know, I bought this place to keep it a secret. Four people know I live here and three of them are in this room!" Wanda snarked as she got up from the couch. "And the fourth would not be ringing the doorbell. Did the agent take out an ad? I sold a house to the Scarlet Witch! If that is Tony or Clint I might not leave them alive."
"Not likely to be them." Carol shrugged. "Tony finally got off his ass about Pepper. Clint and Bobbi are back together. And neither of those girls are willing to share…"
"It's Sue and she is on the verge of a breakdown." Jean said after a moment. While she hated to do deep scans, all of Sue's pain was radiating in waves. It was a miracle Malice was not coming out to play. "Seems this world's Reed is not the loving husband he was in my world."
"What? They are like the quintessential Super-Couple." Jessica had nearly spit out her coffee on hearing that. "They are the couple all other couples aspire to be."
"Recent footage of the Fantastic Four does not support that assessment." Laura said. Her simple statement stunned everyone but Wanda who was already headed for the door. "Reed Richards has displayed no emotion equating to the so called love bond in over a year. In earlier footage Mr. Richards would display anger or dismay if Mrs. Richards was injured. Recently it has been irritation, and not with the parties that injure Mrs. Richards. Mr. Richards has also not displayed parental love towards his children in a similar timeframe. Even I have displayed a sort of parental love to the puppy that was gifted to my care in the facility, so the lack of said emotion from Mr. Richards is…disturbing."
"Wanda?" Sue was never actually happier to see the woman in front of her. At times they had talked about their struggles with emotionally distant lovers. They had become friends of sorts, never truly close but still able to discuss things they couldn't with others. Throwing herself into Wanda's arms she begins crying as the grief she had been putting off hit all at once. "Reed is…is…it's like Vision…the brain is on but the love is gone."
Wanda was left speechless. She knew just how much Susan loved Reed. They had been the couple to envy. At one point Wanda had thought she found that same kind of love, but it had turned to ash in her mouth. Now, the same thing happened to Susan and there was no way she could turn her back on the woman. Patting the sobbing woman on the back she slowly led her inside, where the others were obviously waiting for their turn to comfort their friend.
Emma Frost stared at the phone for a moment and contemplated psychically shredding the male who had called. She knew she could be a cold blooded bitch, but what that male told her to do was beyond the pale. ~What kind of callous bastard is he?~ Ordering her thoughts she reached out to Benjamin Grimm and mentally knocked to let him know she was respecting his privacy. It took less than a moment to leave a message and she retreated from the man's head. She was still angry enough to wish harm on a certain flexible mutate when Ben arrived in her office.
"Have a seat…they are all reinforced enough to hold Rockslide, so you should have no problem." Emma said adopting a pleasant attitude. She liked Ben Grimm so she would not take out her of anger on him. "Your…team leader called. Apparently he has ended his marriage to Susan and given custody children to her."
"Why would Reed call you?" Ben was not surprised. He saw the signs coming, but had thought Reed would tell the family first.
"He wanted me to break it to the children as bluntly as possible." Emma said with her anger seeping a bit into her voice. "Apparently he believes my methods of motivating teenagers would work well with his children and getting them to accept this. At this moment I want to stick him in his own personal nightmare and leave him there for even suggesting it."
"Stretch has been…off recently." Ben grunted. He respected his friend, but lately had been questioning the man's motives and methods on how some decisions were made. He used to be a man with brains and heart, now it was all brains no heart. "Thanks fer not telling them like he asked."
"You're welcome Mr. Grimm. I wouldn't have felt right even if they were wards of the school." Emma sighed heavily. "No child should ever have to doubt their parent's love and this would have shattered their beliefs in him as well as Susan."
"You can call me Ben." The man known to most the world as the Thing smiled as he saw Emma's face light up a bit. He had always made her be formal with him as she came off like a bitch. Now that she had shown that she indeed had a heart he relented a little. "I'm not gonna tell him he called. Question is, where is Susie? Can't imagine her letting Reed call you like that if she was in the Plaza?"
"Hmmm, I could use Cerebra and tell you…in fact I will." Emma said softly. "I'll let you know at dinner so you can take the Franklin and Valeria to her." Pausing for a moment she continued. "Scott would agree with me in saying they would always have a place here, as would Susan, Johnny and you."
"Thanks, I might just take you up on the offer. I kinda like the kids here." Ben smiled warmly before getting back to his feet. "Tell Slim that he better treat you right. I got a girl, but I'm pretty sure other guys are lined up around the block."
"He does treat me right, Ben. But thank you for the compliment."