Authors note: thank you for reading this, I was bored and went through my "important documents" and found this stuff.
…"we don't ever stop, let's watch the sun come up"…
You know what I hate? Mustard And Lemons, Fish, Oranges, and Yaks.
Mustard
And
Lemons,
Fish,
Oranges and
Yaks.
See? I hate Malfoy. He's annoying and whines like a baby mandrake. *awkward silence* I have something about almost everyone I know...
…Professor Flitwick … does not know where Snow White is.
Professor Snape … has no wish to get in touch with his 'feminine side'.
Professor Lupin … has no need for a flea collar. Ever.
Professor Moody … the best 'teaching' Hoqwarts has seen in a while.
Professor McGonagall … does not take herself too seriously. It is a bad idea to tell her.
Professor Dumbledore … should be referred to as 'Professor', 'Headmaster' or 'Sir', not 'Dude', 'My Liege' or 'Tim the Enchanter'.
Harry Potter … is more Emo than Draco Malfoy.
Draco Malfoy … disagrees.
Hermione Granger … has PMS and a wand.
Ron Weasley … is very afraid.
Luna Lovegood … is perfectly sane, thanks very much.
Ginny Weasley … wants her Hogwarts toilet seat.
Fred Weasley … knows if he and his twin giggle at an idea for more than fifteen seconds, they may assume that it's against the rules and therefore should not carry it out.
George Weasley … knows he and his twin will carry it out and are not remotely sorry.
Lily Evans … swears she is not in love with James Potter.
James Potter … doesn't believe her.
Remus Lupin … would prefer less jokes about 'his time of the month'.
Sirius Black … killed by drapery.
Andromeda Black … is going to marry a muggle – screw the consequences.
Bellatrix Black … is 'quietly' going insane.
Narcissa Black … would like a new hairbrush.
Lucius Malfoy … does not like to be referred to as 'Luscious Mouthful'.
Voldemort … does not think it would be funny if Harry Potter were to put on earmuffs and pulled out a mandrake in his presence.
Gryffindors … will jump off a cliff.
Slytherins … will push someone else off.
Hufflepuffs… will call five hundred others and build a staircase.
Ravenclaws … will get hold of a flying carpet.
But, for the record I don't really have PMS. Ron just makes me mad. A lot. Here's some other things I made up.(or stole from the internet.)
…
In Remembrance
…In Remembrance to Severus Snape….
….A Slytherin who died like a Gryffindor… .
..without all the red and gold crap.
…In Remembrance to Fred Weasley…
…Who fought bravely to the very end….
…And whose jokes will forever brighten his other half… …
And will loyally await his soul mate and brother…
… with many jokes…
...he's got forever to think of them, right?
…In Remembrance to Dobby…
…Who was more free and full of love…
...than any elf, and most humans.
….In Remembrance to Remus J. Lupin….
...the last real marauder...
…who was not just a wonderful father…
….a incredible husband and brave hero…
...as well as a freakin' awesome werewolf.
….In Remembrance to Nymphadora Tonks…
…who died for 'the greater good'…
...and would probably hex me for calling her Nymphadora.
…In Remembrance of Alastor 'Mad-Eye' Moody….
…who's motto 'constant vigilance' kept him alive…
...and scared the crap out of some kids too.
…In Remembrance of Tom Marvolo Riddle/Voldemort….
…who was pretty cool, and cute when he was younger…
…but who got his ass thoroughly kicked in the end
…In Remembrance of Albus Dumbledore…
…whose past and wisdom confused us…
…whose seeming betrayal shocked us…
…but actually who turned out to be an okay guy in the end...
...despite the whole 'almost killing Harry' thing.
In Remembrance to Bellatrix Lestrange…
… because it's was awesome how Molly slapped her with that Avada Kedavra!
She deserved everything she got and more.
…In Remembrance of Colin Creevey…
…who we really didn't know too well…
…but took a lot of pictures and died fighting in a war…
…so he must've done something good… …besides stalking Harry.
…In Remembrance of Hedwig… ...Harry's actual first friend…
...who lived and died soaring
...In Remembrance to Sirius Black...
...Who never got to walk free...
...Who had to live with a crazy house elf and screaming portrait for a year...
...And who had to get killed by a curtain.
…
Gryffindor:
1. Welcome to Gryffindor, a Weasley has probably slept in your bed.
2. Gryffindors: Brave to the point of idiocy.
3. Gryffindor: Because we blur the line between bold and stupid every time.
4. The beautiful, the brave and the bold.
5. Gryffindor: I'll kick your ass.
6. I'm in Gryffindor, you're in Gryffindor- let's hug!
7. Gryffindor: because we get enough exercise just pushing our luck.
8. No excuses, rule breaking is customary.
9. Gryffindors are attention whores.
Slytherin:
1. We aren't all evil... yeah, we are.
2. Cunning and Ambition: Slytherin.
3. Go ahead, be a little naughty.
4. Slytherin: We have chained boys in the dungeons.
5. Slytherin: Because our common room is underwater (and that's cool).
6. It's not that we aren't better than you (except it totally is).
7. Why be normal? Or good?
8. We're future Death Eaters. Deal with it.
9. Slytherin means never having to say you're sorry.
10. Seriously evil wizard coming through.
11. I'm dishonest, and a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest.
12. Slytherins do it on Snape's desk.
13. Voldemort needs prision bitches.
14. Because real friends help you Incendio the bodies.
15. Property of the Half-Blood Prince.
16. We're only wearing black until something darker comes along.
17. Don't hate us beacuse we're beautiful, hate us because we kick your ass at everything.
18. Never wound what can kill you.
Hufflepuff:
1. I'm planning your death but in a happy way.
2. Brace youself- I'm going to hug you.
3. Nobody ever suspects the Hufflepuff.
4. You may be smarter, cooler, and better, but we still think you suck.
5. You think we're nice? That's cute...
6. Nowhere in the song does it say we're nice.
7. The love of a Hufflepuff was the only love good enough for Neville.
8. Hufflepuff: We'll kill you with smiles and rainbows.
9. Hufflepuffs kick ass too.
10. Hufflepuff: Formerly known as the party house.
11. Hufflepuffs know how to party.
12. Hufflepuff: We have cupcakes. Need we say more?
13. Always forgive your enemies, nothing annoys them so much.
14. Hufflepuffs are Particularly good finders.
Ravenclaw:
1. I don't need romance, I have goldfish.
2. A room without books is like a body without a soul.
3. I can kill you with my brain.
4. Ravenclaw pride. Be afraid.
5. It's not that we are smarter than you (except it totally is).
6. I'm a Ravenclaw, which clearly means I am elligable to boast about my intellegence level in your face.
7. Ravenclaw: beacuse we know every insult in the book.
8. Ravenclaw: geeks shall inherit the earth.
9. Ravenclaw: Dangerously over-educated.
10. Ravenclaw: Tact enough for people who aren't witty enough to be sarcastic.
11. Ravenclaw: because everyone else is just stupid.
…
"(^_^)#
I made you a waffle
#﹤(^_^﹤)
But then I was like...
(^#^﹤)
"I'm hungry..."
(^_^) So I ate it.
THE END.
…"Turn down for what?!"…
Guess what songs my line breaks are!
Review? Plz? No? How RUDE! *sobs into shoulder of Tom Felton*