I can't quite believe that I've hit 100,000 words already, thanks to everyone who has stuck by for the ride so far!

Miami. Present day:

"I'm glad Horatio made it to lieutenant, he's a good man."

"The best," Calleigh added with a smile. "Have you kept in contact with him over the years?"

Simon shook his head sadly, "I wish I'd made more of an effort after he transferred out, but I'm sure you know what he's like. Never was much of a 'hearts and flowers' kind of guy at the best of times." He smiled as Calleigh nodded her head in agreement, "Don't get me wrong, he was a great guy to have on the squad but he always seemed a bit distant. Al was the only guy who he let get close to him, he pretty much kept everyone else at arm's length." Simon shook his head ruefully, "I remember his first day back after the explosion, Al had convinced him to go with him to a bar for a celebratory drink. We'd decided to throw him a little 'welcome back' party, it was meant to be a happy occasion but the thing I remember the most about that day was how sad his eyes were."

Flashback. Miami 1998:

It had been just over eight weeks since the explosion at the federal courthouse; eight weeks of being laid up and cooped up had almost driven him to the point of insanity. The department medical couldn't have come soon enough and he was both ecstatic and relieved that he'd been given the all-clear to return to active duty.

He'd returned to the department and was greeted with smiles and pats on the backs from his colleagues which although were well-meaning only served to remind him of another time in his past. He'd been successful so far in blocking the memories of his time in New York from his mind but re-entering the Miami Dade Police Department had brought them floating back to the surface.

Al had decided to break him back in gently and so most of his first shift back consisted of lab work, analysing fragments from a recent car bombing incident. It wasn't until he had returned to duty that he realised how much he missed it, even the simple pleasure of just being in the lab made him feel more at peace with himself. The injuries that he had suffered in the explosion had only served to give him more time to dwell on the past that he had tried so hard to outrun. During the last year he had thrown himself into his work in the bomb squad, devoting his spare hours to studying and developing his skills in the lab. He found it an ideal way to keep his mind occupied and away from the memories that still haunted him.

It made him laugh to think how much he had changed since those dark days in New York, so much so that he doubted the people he knew back then would recognise him now. The perfectly coiffed hair and sharp suits were ideal camouflage to hide the real man lurking underneath. Agent Collins had given him the identity of Horatio Caine and wittingly or not he had thrown himself into his new guise knowing that he had no other choice if he and everyone else were to survive.

"Hey, you ready, Horatio?"

Al's voice took him by surprise and made him jump involuntarily, he hastily pulled out his suit jacket and shrugged it on, slamming the door shut as he followed his boss out of the locker room.

He groaned when Al pulled his car up outside the dingy, run-down bar just outside of the Glades. Looking at the outside of the building gave Horatio a bad feeling and reminded him somewhat of a scene from a horror film. "When you said a quiet drink this isn't really what I thought you had in mind, Al."

The other man slapped him on the shoulder, "Now, Horatio, don't be a big girl's blouse. I'll protect you if anyone gets funny with you." Al snorted as he saw the look of uncertainty on his young colleague's face, "If you can survive being blown up then I'm sure you can survive having a drink with me in there," pointing at the ramshackle and tatty looking watering hole.

He followed Al into the bar begrudgingly as he squinted in the darkness, it wasn't until he got closer to the bar that he realised how many faces he recognised. Grouped in a corner were the rest of the bomb squad along with various other colleagues from the department that he'd met along the way since he'd arrived in Miami.

He flushed a deep crimson as the group turned to face him and started clapping and cheering him, now more than ever he wished the earth would open up and swallow him whole. Turning to Al he asked, "What happened to a quiet little drink?"

"You didn't think you could just sneak back in and pretend like nothing happened, did you?"

He squirmed as he shifted his weight from one foot to another, keeping his gaze directed at something in the far corner of the room. "I was rather hoping I could. While I appreciate the gesture I don't think all of this fuss is really necessary."

"Sure it is, you're a hero."

His eyes shot back to Al's, "I'm not. I'm anything but," he responded emphatically.

He felt Al's arm fall heavily across his shoulders, "Shut up and start drinking, kid. What's your poison?"

"Club soda, thanks," he replied as he surveyed the room, "I don't drink," he added at the astonished look that Al gave him.

Any hopes he had of making a hasty retreat were dashed when Al asked for quiet in the bar, as the patrons lowered their glasses and stopped what they were doing Horatio suddenly felt a room full of eyes centred on him. "Thanks everyone for coming this evening to celebrate Horatio's return to active duty." Al paused as a loud cheer and ripple of applause went through the room, "It's not the only reason I asked you to come here, the Captain and I have been talking over the last few weeks and we've come to a decision." Silence fell over the room as Al pulled a small leather box from his suit jacket pocket and handed it to Horatio, "I'd like you all to give a big round of applause to Sargent Horatio Caine!"

He opened the box with shaky hands to find a gold Sargent's shield inside; he touched the raised surface almost reverently. He looked up and found everyone still staring at him, he felt his mouth go dry with fear as closed the box again and looked at his friend and mentor. "This is too much, I don't deserve this," he said as he tried to hand the box back to Al.

The older man slapped him on the shoulder once more, "Sure you do, kid, you've earned it."

It should have been a moment of such joy, he'd imagined this day since he was a little boy. He'd always wanted to be a detective but something inside of him yearned to go further than that, not so far that he'd be forced to ride a desk for the rest of his career but enough to be able to have influence and make a real difference to lives of the people he served. He wanted to be happy so badly that it hurt but all he could think of was that Andy and his colleagues from the 15th Precinct should have been here to share it with him. He'd left behind a terrible legacy in New York, a trail of hurt and destruction so severe that even if he spent every day for the rest of his life apologising to the people he hurt it would never make what he had done right.

His face fell as a feeling complete misery washed over him, he should have felt happy that he'd made it to Sargent; he should have been celebrating with his colleagues who thought they knew him. How long would it be before they found out that he was a fake and that everything he'd ever told them about himself had been nothing but a lie?

Present day. Miami:

Simon Hutchings packed away his tools and took a look at his watch, "I better get going, I have a meeting downtown to get to. When you see Horatio give him my best will you, I really hope things turn out ok. If you need anything else just let me know, I'll be happy to help." He gave Calleigh a boyish smile as he left the room that reminded her so much of the man she loved.

"John, wait!" Andy called out as he trundled as fast as his stocky build and short legs would carry him. He'd made it as far as the hallway between the kitchen and lounge when he felt the presence of cold steel pressed against his neck, gulping deeply, he heard the hammer being cocked.