-Chapter eighteen: I will not crack-

As you may know, after the incident that happened yesterday, I decided to stay at home, inside my bed, all snuggled up, and have all of my misery surrounding me. My phone kept ringing non-stop with messages and phone calls, which I all ignored. The vibrations soon irked me so badly that I was about to throw it outside my window but then decided against it. I doubted that Anne would buy me another one.

I buried my head on my pillow as yesterday's scene kept replaying in my mind. The faces of my best friends, the face of Anne's triumph, but most importantly, my boyfriend's look of betrayal. I had been so careful not to miss another photo shoot, I had tried so hard to plan everything according to my busy schedule, I even had to ask my new assistant with some petty job just so that I could keep my secret life a secret. Now look where that got me. I screamed, the noise being muffled by the pillow. What have I done? What was I to do now?

Night time soon came and the vibrations soon dissipated as well. At about 10 at night, I decided to get some balls and open my phone. More than 100 calls and more than 300 text messages.

Most of them were from people who were probably from my school and had gotten my number for some reason. Almost all of their texts were that we should hang out or if they could have my autograph or if we could meet so we could make out. I deleted about 317 messages without even a glance. I was soon left with 6 messages. All from my friends.

From Iggy-

You were Double M? The most famous supermodel ever to be known from this world? And you didn't even tell us? Maybe we weren't that important enough for you. Call me if you get this message.

~.~

From Gazzy-

Wow, I really didn't expect this from you. It didn't seem plausible. I mean, you eat like a trucker! Aren't models supposed to, you know, starve themselves? I guess that's photoshop for you. Why did you never tell us? We would have kept your secret. Were we just that unimportant to you? Well, don't I feel betrayed now…

~.~

From Angel-

So, are you telling me that you were Maxine Martinez and you couldn't tell us? Does that mean our friendship was a lie? It's seems logical since you decided to lie to us every time. How could you? Best friends are supposed to tell each other everything. I guess I wasn't your best friend then. Was the so called parlor your house? Ha. I should have known. Thanks so much for being there, best friend. Didn't you even think for one second what would happen if we were to find out on our own? Well, it's too late now, don't you think? I can't believe that you, out of all people, could be a traitor. You can't trust anybody these days, I guess.

~.~

From Nudge-

Max, where are you? The school is in total madness right now! The thing that happened yesterday went all overboard. It's on the bulletin board, it was announced in the morning news, and there were even headlines in the news about you! You number got leaked and now everyone is trying to get in contact with you, even us. Max... Everyone feels so betrayed right now. They keep wondering if you were ever our friends. I tried to convince them, I really did, but I couldn't help but feel that déjà vu thing, too. Remember when I found out the hard way? It's exactly the same thing that's happening right now with us. I understand if you don't come to school but please try to tomorrow. At least apologize to them in person. Tell them why you didn't, I mean couldn't, tell them the secret. Please come tomorrow and show them that you weren't a traitor but a true friend. Please.

~.~

From Ella-

Max, I knew this would happen. Why didn't you listen to me? Everyone here feels so betrayed right now. If you had only told them sooner… No, that's not the problem right now, is it? The school is madness right now. I'm kind of glad that you didn't come today but I also wish you did come. You need to tell them an explanation or at least a simple sorry. You should see Angel right now. Her face is red like a tomato and not because of her crush. Hah. I'm trying to make this as light as possible but I guess it isn't working very well, is it? Well, I'm still coming over to house early tomorrow because we need to talk. I'm also going there to persuade you to go to school with me. Don't even bother locking the doors because you know and I know that I will get in. I'm sorry that all of this happened but honestly? You knew this would happen eventually. You knew.

~.~

From Fang-

We need to talk.

Tears were already down below my cheeks as my gripped my phone as hard as I could. I did know that this would happen. I did know. I was too late. I was just too late. Now what did I have in front of me?

3 friends who think I'm a traitor, 2 friends who want me to enter the battlefield, and 1 boyfriend who wants to talk.

Why did this have to happen to me? Why? If I just lived a normal life, without all the fame, I would never have had this problem.

I ended up crying myself to sleep. I did not want to wake up the next morning.

The next day

"Max, you have to wake up some time." Ella kept shaking me until I had no choice but to get out of bed.

"Ella, I'm not going. I am absolutely forbidding myself to go." I said in a serious tone but she didn't catch it.

"Yes you are. I don't care if you don't come at all in the future but you have to come today. You didn't see what your friends looked like when they went to school just to find you missing. Max, stop being such a pussy and go!" That did it. No one called me a pussy without getting away with it.

"Fine!" And I regretted every word I said.

The moment I entered the school, everyone surrounded me into a perfect circle. It was all a blur, actually. I remembered phones being shoved into my face, endless screaming, and at one point, there were hands trying to grab my boobs. As you might as well know, I broke those hands.

After the mob of strangers, the bell finally rung and everyone reluctantly had to leave. I sighed in relief and stood awkwardly by the entrance, not knowing whether to go to class or just wait until lunch. I decided that, because I was a big pussy when it came to this, I would go to class. If I waited until lunch, I would have gone to my house to let time fly by and then eventually, decide not to go back to school.

So, taking a deep breath, I entered my first class. Instantly, I regretted it. Everyone saw me and everyone stood up to surround me once more. Well, not everyone. There was exactly one person who ignored everything and stared out the window.

My heart was cracking violently. And I could feel every crack.

The classes were all brutal. It was all the same process. I entered the class, got surrounded, didn't learn anything, and always had one or two people who didn't even bother to look at me. When lunch time finally came, I was so tempted to go home and forget everything that had happened here. But I knew it was never that simple. I had created such a huge bond with everyone; it was impossible to just forget it. Just like I could never forget my father.

I tried to enter as swiftly and quietly as possible and for a few minutes, it worked. Then people started to enter and immediately spotted me. They started their way towards me but at the last second, I was pushed back by none other than Nudge and Ella.

"You really did come!" Nudge exclaimed and she hugged me. I hugged her back passionately, hoping that my hug would be enough explanation. She understood perfectly and gave me sad and worried eyes.

"Are you ready?" Ella asked me and I hesitated. Honestly, I wasn't. I was terrified as hell. I didn't want to see them but I wanted to. I wanted to say I was sorry, to say why I could never tell them, but I knew it wouldn't be that easy. Nevertheless, I said yes.

"Let' go then." Ella said and they led me to our table, Nudge and Ella pushing away the people. They all gave them an annoying look but I gave them a glare back. Sooner than later, I was a few steps close to our table. My friends were all there and they were all looking the other way. More cracks started to enter my heart and I was on the verge of breaking myself.

"Guys, Max is here." Nudge carefully said but no one seemed to take notice. "Guys?" NO response. I could feel my heart cracking more as I looked helplessly at my friends' backs.

"Come on, guys. Can you guys at least look at her?" Ella exasperated.

"Why should we?" Angel said coldly and I flinched at her tone.

"Because she came here just to say sorry?" Nudge suggested but they still didn't turn around. Ella nudged me and whispered, "tell them." There was something stuck in my throat. I couldn't say it. Tears were threatening to come out.

"I- I-" I stuttered, barely able to look at them. I felt so ashamed and guilty. My heart was about to burst. I took a big breath but I couldn't handle the hurt anymore.

"I'm so sorry." I whispered quietly and ran out of the school. I was done. I knew I was. I decided not to call the limo because I felt too ashamed to abuse this kind of power. I was about to walk all the way home when someone grabbed my arm. Thinking it was some kind of fan, I tried to shake their hand off but his grip was hard.

"Get your hand off me or I'm calling the police." I threatened but the grip just hardened. I got so angry. "I'm not joking! Get your hand off of me! You think I'm some kind of weakling or something?"

"I don't think you're a weakling. I just think you're not the person I think you were." I turned around, panicked from the familiar voice, and faced Fang.

"F-Fang?" My voice faltered as he gazed at me with those piercing, dark orbs for eyes.

"We need to talk." He mimicked his text. Suddenly, I wanted to get away. From all of this.

"No, we don't. I said I was sorry. There's nothing to say." I try to convince him but even I didn't believe myself.

"I think there is." He said calmly and dragged me behind the school where no one was there. I gulped as he opened his mouth.

"Why?" He asked. It was such a simple question but I knew it meant so much more than that.

"You have to believe me; I was going to tell you guys. All of you. At the right time and moment." I started to explain but he put his hand up.

"Not an excuse. I don't want that. I want to know why you didn't correct me at the dance when I told you my story." I opened my mouth but nothing came out. Why didn't I say anything? He hated Double M because he thought it was Maya. If I had told him that Double M was actually me, he would avoid me for some time, but he would have believed me and would just had Maya and not Double M. Why didn't I correct him?

"Because I was so afraid. Because I thought I would lose you if I told you. I was about to tell you but after I found out why you hated me, I mean, Double M. I talked to your dad about Maia and then I needed to learn about Maya. When you told me that you thought Double M tried to kill you, I just immediately went to conclusions. I am so sorry, Fang. I really wanted to tell you."

"I trusted you with so much. You couldn't trust me with this?" Fang looked so hurt and I couldn't blame him.

"I- I just- It's just that-" No matter how much I wanted to explain everything, nothing was in mind.

"Max, I think we should stop." What?

"Wait, Fang. What are you-"

"Max, I think it's best for everyone if we didn't see each other anymore."

"What?"

"It's for the best."

"You're- Are you breaking up with me?" I sounded like the stereotypical girl but that didn't matter right now. Fang was actually breaking up with me? Fang just nodded in response. He didn't even look at me when he said it.

"You're serious, aren't you? After all we've been through, this is the kind of shit I get? Fang, you can't do this to me! I'm already dying as it is. You can't make this worse!"

"Goodbye, Max." And walked away. Just. Like. That. I stared at his retreating form and when he was out of sight, I slid down to the wall. My hand was at my chest and I felt numb. It was official. My heart had broken. The pieces disappeared. I had nothing left. Absolutely nothing.

"Maxine Martinez, you will come out of your room right now or so help me I will-"

"What? What are you going to do? Hit me? Slap me? Threaten me? I lost everything to you. If you think for one second I'm going to a photo shoot, you can just kiss my ass." It's been exactly 4 days and 3 hours since my breakup with Fang. I had so many texts from Ella and Nudge but I hadn't bothered to look. I didn't want to. Anne had been trying to get me out of my room but I never budged.

"Maxine, you will not talk to your-"

"You. Are. Not. My. Mother. You are a witch and I hope you burn to death!" I yell to the top of my lungs and that shuts her up for a second.

"Maxine…" Her voice is cold and angry. "If you don't come out of your room in exactly 3 seconds, I'm going to get Lucas and Thomas and order them to break down the door. One." Not. Budging. "Two." I snuggle close to the covers. "Three!" She shouts but there is only silence.

"MAXINE!"

"It's been 2 weeks and she's still not budging. I don't understand how she's still alive. She's supposed to be dehydrated from lack of water or something… She must have gotten the necessities when I'm not looking and I always look!... She won't go, no matter how much I tell her to… No, I will not beg! She called me a witch and I should burn to death!... Fuck you… Just get over here!... If she won't be a model, we have to go to Plan B. Can you get over here as fast as you can?... Perfect. I'll see you soon. Love ya!" Anne's voice echos along the hallway as I get the bread and 5 more water bottles. I carefully slip into my room and ponder while eating.

What did she mean by Plan B? Who was she talking to? Whatever it was, I would never succumb to her; no matter what she had planned under her sleeve.

The doorbell rings and I hear Anne's footsteps hurriedly go towards the door. I take this chance to get out of the room and to the kitchen. I have to be really careful though; the kitchen is right in front of the door. I start to get what I need: water, bread, fruit, chips, and cookies. This would last for about a week if I was careful. I start to reorder all of the food into my arms while I hear Anne's voice talking to the stranger.

"Thank goodness you came! I don't know what to do anymore but I know that she won't go back to modeling. I had to cancel everything and they are not happy. Most of the labels we made a contract with are threatening to drop us if she won't come back. We're losing too much money now and I need more now!" Of course this would be all about money. Of course. I start go out of the kitchen when my blood stops cold from the all too familiar voice.

"Don't worry. Just let me talk to her." The things I was carrying drop to the floor and I run towards the door. I push Anne out of the way and I'm face to face with the last person I thought I would ever see.

He smiles warmly at me. "Hello Maximum. Looks like you finally got out of your room." I stare at him with wide eyes. Is this really happening?

"Dad?"

Sing by Ed Sheeran

I am loving this song so much and happy happy new!

The Fault in our Stars is coming out soon! June 6th everyone!

I think I'm just going to bring a box of tissues when I go to the movies. Everyone will look at me weirdly but who the fuck cares? I will cry proudly :)

R&R!

Mikki is out! Peace!