Dear Dylan,
If you're gods gift to women, God seriously needs to pay attention to the fact that most of us who actually know you exist want to kill you very very slowly and painfully. There's even fanfiction just about killing you.
-dawncloud305
Dear dawncloud305,
Ah, but that's because you guys can't see straight because your eyes are watering from the stench of Garbage Can Fang. Once I kill him, which should be soon, everything will be good!
Cheers,
Dylan