The amazing thing about her cousin was that his room didn't have a bed but an armchair, all his clothes had been stuffed into one trunk and he apparently only owned three pairs of shoes, one set being slippers. A third of his room had been walled off, he had used it as a dark room, the rest of his room was converted into a studio and contained shoe boxes filled with photo's. On his work bench sat a black photo album, Hinata picked it up sitting down on the armchair. She opened it to find a letter and a note written in the album. 'Never forget.' Hinata ran her hand over the words, flipping through the pages. The book was filled with photo's from her childhood, and continued up until the point of Neji's death. Hinata pressed her fingers to her lips to hold back the sob, letter forgotten at the moment.
"Hey Hinata I'm going with Kankuro to drop off the boxes, I'll bring back something for dinner, okay," Gaara called from down stairs. She didn't answer trying to hold back the tears, for once not from sadness. Gaara waved his brother on when she didn't answer and bounded up the stairs, he found her sitting in a chair on the verge of tears.
"Hinata what's wrong?" he asked, kneeling before her. She waved him off, laughing.
"Just an unexpected surprise, Neji did something for me and I just found it," she said gesturing to the album in her lap.
"I'm going to be fine, go." Hinata swallowed the lump in her throat, closing her eyes to stop the tears. Gaara kissed her, glancing at her again if she was lying.
"I'll be back soon," he said, worried about leaving Hinata on her own.
"Gaara I'll be fine," she said, waving him off. He nodded closing the door behind him. Hinata turned her attention to the letter in her hand, the name on it was hers and it was written in Neji's writing. She stared at it for a moment unable to open it because she didn't want to see what he had written. But curiosity killed the cat, as much as she didn't want to know, she couldn't describe how much she want to open it, to read what he had written. Hinata glanced at the envelope once more before tearing it open.
'My dearest Hinata, I'm sorry for the grief I have caused you but I felt it the only reasonable thing to do at the time. I am so very, very sorry Hinata and I know you will be blaming yourself for this, like you have with the car accident. I know you will blame yourself because you asked me to run the company and probably think it was the stress of dealing with such a heavy task when I should be enjoying my life as a young man. I did enjoy myself, I did stupid thing's and I found a girl I liked and then she ran off taking my cd player and my roommates turtle. It wasn't the best of times but I had fun and then I found joy in running the family business, especially ruffling the feathers of those boring old men with features made of cement.
The stress of running a company was never there, it wasn't what lead me to jump. It was never your fault, neither my death or the car accident, do not blame yourself Hinata. I was sick, I had a tumour in my brain and due to the sheer size of it and where it was located they couldn't remove it without risk of killing me or turning me into a drooling vegetable. In the end it didn't matter, I was going to deteriorate loose my memories, and control over my body. I couldn't let you see me like that, a jabbering idiot who would eventually need help going to the toilet. I have my pride and I couldn't let you look after me, I didn't want you to watch as I died a slow and painful death.
I wanted you to remember me as a bright and happy young man, but the head aches got worse faster then expected and the doctors told me it progressed much quicker then anticipated, I was told I would have to go into care and live out the last month of my life doped up on meds. I didn't want that, I was scared. Hinata I was so scared about what would happen to me and how badly it would effect you to see me like that.
It was a cowardly thing to do, but at the time I was a coward. Sometimes it's better shaming your family then to let them watch as you die. I won't lie to you when I say that I wanted my death to look like an accident. I wanted to cause you less pain but in a way I think I've just made it worse.
That photo album is my last gift to you, I hope you continue to record your story like I once did, so you can remember all the good times and not the bad. Never forget that I love you Hinata, I always will. I hope that one day you will be able to forgive me for the pain I have caused you.
Neji.'
Hinata bit back the sobs as she re-read and again re-read the letter, she wanted to laugh with relief. The heavy feeling of guilty finally gone from her shoulders.
"Neji you know I would forgive you, I always will," she whispered. Hinata got up, placing the letter between the pages of the albums for safe keeping. "Hinata I'm back, I just got us mc donalds, for some reason it was the only thing open at the shops." Hinata jumped up, running down the stairs at the sound of Gaara's voice. She wrapped her arms around his waist tightly, causing him to almost trip and drop everything.
"Are you okay Hinata?" he asked worried about her odd behaviour. Hinata smiled at him brightly before kissing him, "I'm going to be okay from now on." "Yeah?"
"yeah."