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Chapter 6: remembering

Reid felt the cold nighttime air run through him. He'd been here so many times he didn't even have to think where he was going even though it was dark.

She couldn't be dead?How could this of happened? Why is it that the only person who I can rely on not to leave me, goes? These were the many thoughts which raced through Reid's mind. He felt angry that his mum left him. He felt sad that he would never see her. He felt guilty that he didn't help her out enough but most of all he felt grief. Grief lined his insides making him feel sick to his stomach. Every time he thought of his mum he tried his hardest to think of the happy memories they shared together. However his mind wouldn't let him, instead it showed him his darkest memories of her. How she tried to kill him in an episode. How he was left to clear up the broken glass after she tried to throw various objects at him. How he came home from being tied to a goalpost naked whilst the whole school laughed at him and just wanting to cry into his mothers arms but she was having an episode so she didn't even realize he was gone. How he sent her to the sanatarium because his lifestyle was just to unhealthy to carry on. It was these thoughts which caused the tears to fall gently down his face, but he brushed them away quickly. He promised he was going to be strong partly for himself but partly for her. He finally made his way to the place he'd been looking for. In front of him where the chess tables his mother and him had gone to when he was a kid. He'd been to this park many times before. Sometimes it was a place of happiness like when he and his mother came to read together. Sometimes it was a place to escape during his mothers episodes and sometimes it was just a place to be himself. As he sat down at one of the chess boards he felt a pang in his stomach and his chest tightened. He desperately wanted his mum but he knew she wasn't coming. That's when it started to sink in.

Meanwhile the team where still gathered at the hospital. Hotch was talking to the doctor demanding what went wrong whilst the others just stood in silence.

"Someone should go after him." JJ spoke up.

"I agree he's just lost his mother who knows what he's going to do". Replied Emily.

"Yeah I mean we've given him time to cool off but you can't just expect us to sit here and wait for him to be rushed into hospital needing his stomach pumped or because he's had a drug overdose". Morgan said a bit to fiercely and instantly regretted it as soon as the words left his mouth.

"Morgan!" Garcia cried. Out of everyone she was the most distraught.

"He's got a point", Rossi said, "Listen, me and Morgan will go look for him. JJ you've already done enough for him today and Emily you have to. It's time me and Morgan to be there for him and show him that we're sorry. Right now he needs his friends." Everyone nodded in agreement.

"Does anyone have any idea where he might of gone?" Morgan asked.

"I've been tracking his cell but so far nothing." Garcia said disheartened.

"If you were Reid where would you go?" Emily said.

"Library?" Garcia asked.

"Too late for any of them to be open. Where's a place which is also open to the public yet he can have his space to be alone?" Rossi replied

"A park." JJ answered.

"Garcia what's the nearest park?" Morgan said quickly.

"That would be Rainstone park. It's a ten minute walk and I've sent the directions to your phones along with a map of the park. It's quite big so it might take a while to find him." Garcia said after quickly typing into her laptop.

"Thanks Garcia." Rossi said as he and Morgan turned to leave.

"Just bring him back." JJ said. Both men nodded as they left in pursuit of their young genius.

Both men studied the map on their phone seeing if anything stuck out to where Reid would be.

"What's that there?" Morgan asked.

"Their chess boards I think." Rossi replied.

"I think we should definitely start there then." Morgan said forcing a laugh. The two men quickly walked over to the park, knowing it would be easier to walk than taking the SUV.

"What if he's not there Rossi. What if he's in some side alley choking on his own sick!" Morgan cried worriedly.

"We can't think like that. We are going to find him and give him the support he needs. Is that understood." Rossi said fiercely. Morgan just nodded still not convinced. The men carried on walking in silence. Finally they reached a clearing. Relief flooded them as the saw a dark figure hunched over one of the chest boards. Rossi deliberately made himself heard making the dark figure jump up in fright. They couldn't see the figure clearly but they could tell it was a man, they were tall and lanky with scruffy hair; it was definitely Reid.

Reid heard footsteps near him. He jumped up quickly and saw two figures coming towards him. He didn't panic he knew who they were. He would of bolted in the opposite direction but he felt to emotionally and physically exhausted. The figures became clearer. It was Rossi and Morgan. When they came to the chess table they didn't speak, instead they sat there in silence.

"What are you doing here?" Reid croaked, finally breaking the silence.

"You know for a genius you sure do ask dumb questions." Rossi replied lightly.

"I don't need your help. I just want to be alone. Please just leave." Reid pleaded. His tone along with the sadness in his eyes hurt Morgan and Rossi but they couldn't show it, they had to be strong for Reid.

"You know that's not going to happen kid." Morgan said. Reid felt his anger rise.

"Why are you even here Morgan." Reid said his voice rising. If he was going to say how he felt now was the perfect opportunity. "How do you know that I'm not kidding. Maybe my mums not dead and maybe this is just part of some stupid prank war. Maybe she'll jump out of the trees laughing then tell me how stupid I looked when I thought that the only person who has stood by me no matter what was dead."

"Reid listen I'm sorry about earlier and your right maybe I should go." Morgan said standing up. Reid wanted Morgan to leave but he couldn't bear another person leaving him.

"Stay." He whispered. Morgan was confused at his sudden change in mood but sat back down not questioning him.

"I just feel so alone. She's not coming back ever is she." Reid's voice was barely audible.

"Reid your not alone, you've got us and trust me we will be here whenever you need us. Your mother may be gone but she we always be with you. Never forget that and never forget the happy memories you've got with her." Rossi said softly.

"I know I've got you but I'm scared I'll forget. Every time I think of her I just think of the bad memories. When she's having an episode or tries to kill me because she doesn't even know I'm her son." Reid said his voice full of pain.

"Reid you of all people aren't going to forget. What's that memory you've got?" Rossi asked even though he secretly knew the answer.

"Eidetic." Reid replied quickly not seeing how this was relevant.

"What does that mean exactly?" Rossi asked.

"It means that I have the ability to remember things a lot better than others, I also can remember nearly everything I've heard." Reid said in monotone.

"Well don't you see you are blessed with a gift Reid. You have the ability to remember every nice thing your mums ever said about you. Now if you ask me I think that's a blessing I would give anything to remember everything Caroline said to me." Rossi said gently.

"Same I'd give anything to remember everything my dad said to me." Morgan said quietly. This surprised Rossi as the whole time he knew Morgan he rarely discussed his father.

"I know." Reid croaked. The dam holding back his tears was on the verge of breaking. Suddenly all the happy memories he shared and cherished with his mother came flooding back to him. He felt a rush of warmth run through his body but this was quickly replaced with grief. Not caring where he was or the fact that two of his friends were right in front of him he let the dam break. The water flowed at first in trickles but then in floods and it would take a while for it to stop.