As I walk through my front door—clothes wet and hair stringy—I realize I don't even remember driving home. My mind must have been a million miles away.

There's this odd ambiance I feel. It's hard to describe, but I feel like I'm floating—everything is so light and happy. I'm sure that's the new love that I'm harboring for Edward.

But then there's this pang, this sting that randomly shoots through my heart and ricochets around in my chest. I literally have to take my hand and press down against my breastbone to get it to go away.

That's my storm cloud, the doom of what I've done.

There's isn't anyway to sugar coat it, or make it less wrong. I cheated on Peter. I fell in love with another guy and cheated on my boyfriend. I became that girl, one that months ago I would have called ugly names in my head after I had heard what she'd done.

And with Edward Cullen, no less.

I put my shower off to later and plop down on my bed atop the covers. Everyone is still asleep. The house is quiet except the thunderstorm that rages outside.

And here inside my four walls, it feels like the floor may collapse from the downpour of my emotions.

I can't close my eyes, because I see Edward panting above me as he comes undone. Looking at me like I am his last meal. Making me melt and soar and want like never before.

But when I keep my eyes open and I look around this room, I see Peter. He helping me study at my desk. Him taking a nap on my bed. Our junior prom picture that hangs on my wall among a bunch of others I had made into a collage. The spot on my wall when he accidentally threw his Popsicle and it splattered and stained.

And it hurts me, because no matter what, he didn't deserve this. I thought I was a better person than this.

Yet the proof is in the pudding.

/ / /

My nap is shit. I don't sleep well at all even though my body feels so drained and tired.

After my shower, I pick up my cell to call Peter. I have to talk to him now. This coil of guilt is weighing me down. I need to get rid of it.

But of course, he doesn't answer. I leave him a message to call me as soon as he can. Then I text him the same message, hopefully he'll get the point that I need to talk to him pronto. I wanted to talk to him face to face, but I just don't know if I can wait that long.

I still have a few hours to wait before I'm due back at school but I am so restless, my stomach is in knots.

When my cell rings and Edward's name appears on my caller ID, it's amazing how quickly I relax and calm.

"Hey."

"Hey Bella, are you busy?"

"No, no." I sit straight up and pull my hair back, but I'm not sure why. It's not like he can see me. "Just hanging out until I have to leave. What are you doing?"

"Missing you." He answers so quick and sure that I honestly believe him.

I can't stop the smile that starts in my belly and wiggles its way up to my lips.

Then there's a bunch of commotion on Edward's side of the line. It sounds like he covers the phone with maybe his hand, and I hear him mumble for someone to shut up. It sort of sounds like a party wherever he is.

I'm almost jealous.

"Sorry. Emmett's being a stupid fucker." A door slams and it's instantly quieter around him.

"It's okay. I'm glad you called."

"I wanted to hear your voice and... make sure you're all right?" His voice is low and deep, I close my eyes and picture his face.

I hum a uh-huh. "I'm good, a little nervous about tonight I think."

"You'll do perfect, just like you did last night."

I'm sure I blush a little even though I'm still alone in my room.

"You will too," I answer then I remember how sad he sometimes looked last night. "You never did tell me what was wrong with you."

He makes this noise and I don't know if it's a grunt or a laugh or what. "Well, I was a little preoccupied."

I shake my head and cover my eyes. I imagine him standing wherever he is, all cocky and proud.

"I mean while we were on stage. Please tell me what was wrong," I beg a little, refusing to let him change the subject.

"Shit Bella, it's nothing really. It just kind of hit me while we were up there performing, that it's—you know, almost over."

After his admission, I seem to sink deeper into my bed. Ugh, more bleakness, more emotion.

It's true—the realization hasn't left my mind for a second either. The impending sad truth is a constant nagging that's nipping at my pride and my excitement over the play's success. I guess it helps me some that he feels the same way.

"I know, it's bitter-sweet, isn't it?" I exhale.

"I'm not just talking about the play, Bella. I mean …more than that. High school, youth, this life as we know it…" he sighs, "…us. Everything is numbered; the countdown has already started. Honestly, I never thought I'd care, but..."

"But you do?" I interrupt. It's silly that him caring makes my insides resemble half formed jello.

"Yeah, about some of it I do." He's quiet for a second and then I hear voices behind him again. "Listen, I've got to go. I'll see you real soon, like in little over an hour all right?"

"Okay, I'll see you at school." I want to say more, something significant, something real, but nothing comes to mind.

Then I hear silence coming from Edward's end and the chance to confess that the thing I don't want to change and lose most is him, has passed.

/ / /

I'm pacing in my costume on stage. Edward isn't here yet, he must be running late. I keep peeking through the curtain, hoping I'll see him run in through the front doors. Then I turn back and walk the depth of the stage praying I'll spot him in the back.

But time keeps winding down without him.

Suddenly, I hear the back door slam. I almost trip trying to run to the rear most part of the stage to see if it's him.

When two ordinary arms circle my shoulders and pull me close, I freeze. I can't move. I don't even know how long we stand there, I am immobile and shocked.

"Bella, baby! I missed you so much." He says through my hair.

Like a slap in the face, the awareness that the all too familiar touch of Peter doesn't comfort me like it used to, instead it irritates me.

I squirm and push out of his arms, it's a place I don't belong any more. "Peter? What are you doing here?"

"Well, that's not the greeting I expected." I see the hurt in his eyes and instantly I feel bad. The guilt I've carried around since last night rises thick inside me, I can't push it down and I fear it's written bold and dark all over my face.

"I'm sorry, you just caught me off guard." I try to back track although every bit of me feels like I should set him straight now. "I didn't expect you."

His hands go to his hips, "Did you expect someone else?"

I peer around him, Edward still hasn't showed. Peter turns to see where I'm looking.

"Peter, it's almost show time and I haven't spoken to you in over a week. I didn't know and I'm busy..." I try to distance myself and walk around him, but he grabs my arm.

He doesn't even give me a chance to explain. "It's Cullen isn't it?"

I feel my face redden and my eyes begin to burn. I'm not sure what to say. "W-what?" I manage to choke out in a forced breath.

"He told you, didn't he?" Peter lets go of me and covers his mouth with his hand. "Shit, Bella! I'm sorry. He told me..." He kicks at the floor and closes his eyes tight. His hands are in fists and I am so confused.

I'm lost, like a blind man without a cane in a white-out blizzard kind of lost. I don't know what he's talking about. "Peter?"

"Edward told me he wouldn't tell you about her."

I feel my stomach drop. It shatters and bounces around at my feet. His words are not making sense, even though I think I know.

"I swear to you, I'm trying to stay away from her now. It was just a few times and when Edward heard me talking that day, he thought I was referring to you."

My face burns hotter.

"What did you say?" I demand. Without my permission tears are slowly streaming down my face and I feel disoriented. I have no idea what to feel. I just need answers and explanations.

"He told you didn't he?" Peter's voice rises.

I stomp my foot. "Just tell me what did you say?" I all but yell.

"Fuck!" He turns away before slowly turning back in my direction. "I was with the guys hanging out, and I said something about her having a tight snatch and Edward... he pushed me hard backward. I fell over the park bench outside. Like a crazy man, he jumped on top of me screaming at me to keep my mouth shut and not talk about you like that. He looked like he was going to hit me and I told him it wasn't you... That I wasn't talking about... you." Peter's eyes are full of tears.

My arms are wound around myself tight, my insides are trembling with confusion and anger and relief. There was someone else and it was me Edward was defending.

But still, I want to know. "Who.. who was it?"

"Bella." He tries to step closer and I back away.

"Tell me, Peter."

"Angela." He says it so cold and sure and so easy.

I close my eyes. I feel like such an idiot. I should have pushed. I should have known. "How long?"

He takes a deep breath, "On and off since the summer, but Bella, I love you and I never wanted to hurt you. You're my best friend. She-"

I shake my head and correct him. "I was your best friend. We haven't... Peter, why didn't you just let me go?"

The tears start to seep from his eyelids. "I can't."

The fury multiplies inside me tenfold. "You don't have a choice anymore! I've called you for days to break up with you! We don't belong together. Our time is over! You're not the same Peter I fell in love with. We've grown and we've changed and I'm so tired of pretending." I keep trying to dry my cheeks, but the tears keep spilling over.

"Bella, please don't." His arms are reaching out for me and his hands are still seeking mine. I keep backing away, putting the distance between us that we so need.

"No, we're done. Just stop." I raise my hands at him.

After a few minutes, I finally steady my breathing and my tears end. Peter is still standing in front of me. His face is so pale and his eyes are so sad. It doesn't affect me in the least.

"I have to go fix my makeup and find Edward, it's getting close to time to begin." I turn to walk away.

"Wait, Bella."

"What?" I seethe through my clenched teeth and spin back around to face him.

"Edward's gone. I saw him outside and told him I was back. He said he was going to come in and let you decide who you wanted to be by your side tonight, but..."

I take off in a sprint and leave Peter standing there. My huge dress is a bitch to run in and it's all I can do not to trip and rip it.

But I feel an urgency like never before.

He can't be gone.

He wouldn't leave me hanging like that.

"Edward!" I scream his name as I reach the double doors that lead outside.

"Edward!" I shout his name as I stand in the parking lot and search out his car.

"Edward!" I cry his name as I fall to my knees realizing that he really is gone.

He left... me.

"The best thing one can do when it's raining is to let it rain." ~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow