NOTICE:: This is Edward's Point of View from chapter 20 that I emailed to the people who asked for it at the time of posting!

I'm posting it now b/c more have asked for it.

EPOV, Outtake from ch 20

I've been anxious all day to see her again. Right after I watched her drive away this morning in the pouring rain, I've felt incomplete. Hollow. Lacking.

It's as scary and uncomfortable as fuck. I honestly am not sure that I like it.

So to pass the hours, I surrounded myself with my gang, with Emmett and Rosalie, and with a few of our other regulars.

We smoked a few joints. We threw back a few beers, and finally I could relax. The ping-pong of the longing and need for that girl who resides in my gut mellowed out, and I could function.

But I still want her in ways I can't even explain.

/ / /

Emmett's Jeep wouldn't start so I help him get it going, but in doing so, I'm running late in getting to the auditorium.

I take the quickest shower I can and speed all the way to the school.

When I finally pull in the parking lot and see Peter lurking around Bella's car, it's all I can do to not pound his face into the pavement. Just being in his mere presence pisses me off.

What in the hell is he doing here anyway?

I wonder if Bella knows.

I count to twenty and remind myself that I'm on probation. I can slowly feel my anger leaking from my pores and turning into disgust. I think about how much fighting him now would disappoint Bella and my parents.

It doesn't take me long to remember that he's not worth it.

"Hey Cullen. I'm surprised to see you here. I figured you would have bailed out on Lord Dudley by now."

My fingernails dig into the meat of my palm as I squeeze my fists.

I approach him slowly. "What are you doing here, Asshole?"

Peter straightens his back before he answers me. "Screw you, Cullen. I'm here for my girlfriend. She's been calling me all day. I thought I'd surprise her. She needs me."

"Dumb ass, you do realize this play started last night don't you? Where were you then?"

He shakes his head and shrugs. "Doesn't matter. I'm here now."

The urge to knock the know-it-all smirk off his face is so hard to ignore. "You're wrong, I don't think she needs you. We got by just fine last night."

"Wait, you're my understudy, right?" He bends over in laughter. "Ahhh, come on Cullen. Who are you trying to kid? She needs me. M. E. Her boyfriend. Let's go in and ask her. You'll see."

He walks past me but my anger has my legs locked stiff and my feet glued to the ground.

"Sure, let's go." I yell after him. "Let her decide who can be her main man tonight. But I have no doubt she won't be your girlfriend for long. I bet she already knows about your little side piece of ass."

He stops walking, then he turns back around and stomps toward me. "You had better not broken our agreement Edward. You said you wouldn't say anything to Bella if I didn't press charges against you. I fucking had to beg my parents not to."

"Back off Peter," I step toward him and poke this chest. His toes mush and lodge under mine. Like the coward he is, he hunkers down and backs up. "I didn't say shit to her, but she's too smart not to know what you're up to."

Peter's panting like he just ran a marathon. "Oh, I get it. You have a thing for her don't you? Man, this is priceless." He walks in a circle before facing me again.

"You're right about one thing, she's very smart. Too damn smart to fall for the likes of you. What are you going to do, Cullen? How are you planning on supporting her when she flies halfway around the country? You gonna go win a race and send her a crisp fifty? You gonna tell your friends to take a hike when she calls upset because she's homesick? Are you going to write her a love letter every fucking day declaring how much she means to you?"

He takes a few more steps back away from me and toward the building. "Oh, that's right. I forgot, you'd have to learn how to write first."

He throws his hand up at me dismissing me before he turns around and jogs toward the auditorium.

I am so pissed that tears are burning my throat. Holy hell, I want to destroy something!

I don't even care that he's so stupid thinking that I can't write. I care more about what he said about me and Bella.

I've known for a long time that Peter has cheated on Bella. But I didn't want to be that guy, the one who tried to turn her away from her boyfriend. I would've rather she came to the conclusion to see him for what he really is on her own. And after the past few months and especially last night, I think she does.

I wipe off my face and take a few deep breaths and run toward the back doors to the auditorium.

Peter thinks he's a fucking genius telling me that Bella deserves better than me. Shit, I already knew that. I even made a point to tell her I was still leaving after graduation. I don't want her to change her plans for me. I can't offer her diddly-shit, and I only want the very best for her. She needs to follow her dreams.

I open the back door and as soon as I walk through it, Jessica gives me a push backward. "You're the understudy and the leading man is already here. Get over it, Edward. You have to go sit in the audience or find a spot to stand backstage—out of the way. Shoo."

I shove past her big-ass mouth and immediately my eyes land on Bella.

In Peter's arms.

I can't see her face, but I don't see her reacting to him. She's not kneeing him in the balls or planting her elbow into his nose, both of which he deserves. She isn't pushing him away nor is she leaning into him.

She's just standing there.

And with a blink of an eye, the reality of the situation crashes down all around me. That fucking asswipe is right—I don't belong here. My feelings toward her don't matter for shit.

It only takes a split second for my walls to build and heart to harden.

I have no wish to travel down the road of love and heartbreak. That's for pussies.

Fuck this.

Fuck all this.

Fuck this city. This school. This play. And that girl.

I'm out of here.

There is a time for departure even when there's no certain place to go. ~Tennessee Williams (Thomas Lanier)

(This wasn't about a misunderstanding and could have been fixed if Edward just talked to Bella, this was about Edward taking the easy out. Please know that. More will be revealed soon. Understand that all Edward needed was an excuse to bail...)