AN: Thank you as always to the reviewers, it's you guys who keep this story going. I appreciate you all. Hope everyone is doing well.

Take care and enjoy.

Chapter 28

"Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future."

John F. Kennedy

CATHERINE POV

"Jesus!"

I clutch my hand to my chest, heart damn near thundering out of my chest.

"Sara?" I question the brunette, trying to focus enough in the darkness to make out the form sitting on porch.

Standing, she moves out of the shadows towards me.

"Sorry," she offers, though there's a slight smirk on her face which makes me doubt the full sincerity of her apology.

"You alright?" I ask, looking around. "What're you doing here?"

"I'm fine," she answers quickly. "I just…I actually wanted to talk with you about something."

I search her expression for a clue as to what's on the private girl's mind, but as usual I don't get much.

"Okay."

I move to sit, but she shakes her head.

"You mind if we take a walk instead?" she questions.

I don't know if it's a desire for privacy that has the brunette asking or something else. Regardless, it's a beautiful night and I'm more than happy to spend it taking a walk with Sara.

"Sure," I answer, gesturing towards the drive.

Leading the way, Sara makes her way towards the street. The neighborhood is relatively private, with most people already in their homes for the night.

We walk a couple blocks before Sara finally lets out a breath.

"I've been thinking a lot about what you said," she starts, keeping her eyes ahead of her.

"Okay…" I eventually state when she doesn't continue.

"It's been really hard to figure out what the right thing to do here is, Catherine," she confesses quietly.

Eyes taking in the landscape, she finally briefly meets my eyes before returning them to the sidewalk.

"Do you really think being with me is what you want?"

"No," I tell her, shaking my head. "I know it's what I want."

Sara goes quiet for awhile, her dark features even harder to read that usual.

"Catherine," she eventually whispers. "I just want you to be happy."

Drawing our walking to a stop, I reach out and gently take her arm to turn her towards me.

"Sara, what do you want?"

Sara's eyes have a hard time meeting mine, but she works to keep them there.

"I…" she swallows tightly. "I want to be with you, Catherine."

I feel my heartbeat increase the same time she shakes her head.

"I just feel like that's so selfish of me."

"Why, honey?" I question, lifting her chin to bring her eyes back to mine.

"Because look at me," she gets out. "I'm a mess, Catherine. And I don't know if I'll ever truly be better."

Sara's expression is tense, serious.

"I don't want to start a life with you if this is all it's ever going to be for you."

I know Sara hates the current state of affairs, her current health issues being a big part of that. Sara's always hated being a burden, being anything but fully independent and in control.

The current situation the brunette is in doesn't allow her any of those.

The one thing she's wrong about, though, is being a burden.

Sara Sidle could never be a burden to anyone.

"I love you, Sara," I state clearly, making sure she's looking at me. "That doesn't change no matter how sick you ever get, how many seizures you ever have, how long it takes you to heal. Those things have nothing to do with the person you are."

Sara turns.

"No," I grab her before she can move away. "I mean it, Sara."

Sara lowers her head, and I can feel the emotions radiating through her frame.

I wait her out, not daring to move or let her move either.

"Okay."

The whispered word drifts through to cool night to reach me.

Sara looks up, swallowing tightly.

"Okay," she says. "It's selfish as hell, but I want to give this a shot."

I wait a moment for my ears to catch up with my brain. Then, a smile pulls against my lips until I can no longer hold it back.

Nodding, I reach out, taking both her hands in mine and giving them a squeeze.

Searching my eyes, Sara hesitates a moment before leaning down and placing a kiss along my temple.

"I don't want you worrying about me, though," she says quietly, voice tickling the hairs near my ear.

Pulling back, her eyes are serious.

"If this is going to work, Catherine, I can't feel like you're taking care of me or worrying about this seizure nonsense."

I don't know of anyone else who would sum up a serious seizure disorder as 'this seizure nonsense.'

"Sara," I state gently but firmly. "I'm going to care about you and worry about you no matter what's going on in your life. Whether you're completely healthy or not."

I reclaim her hands.

"That's just part of loving someone, sweetheart."

"I don't think I'm going to like that part too much," she mutters, a bemused smirk pulling at her lips.

"Well, you're going to have to just deal with it," I inform her with a smile of my own.

Leaning up, I kiss her softly.

I don't think I could be any happier that I am right here in this moment.

"How'd it go?" the brunette greets me, handing me a cup of coffee and sitting along the break room table.

Joining her, I tap my fingers along the edge of the coffee mug.

"Good, I think."

"You think?"

"DB felt pretty confident about getting me a spot back on the team," I explain. "But apparently there may be some issues regarding staffing limits."

Sara searches my expression.

"But…" the brunette leads, knowing there's more I'm not saying.

"But right now night shift is down a CSI in the field," I supply, watching Sara's expression closely.

She doesn't give much away, but the flash of frustration in her gaze is enough for me to guess her feelings.

"Sara, I'm sorry."

"No," she counters, pulling back to hold her coffee in her hands. "It's valid."

"I'm not taking your spot," I state sternly. "That's not even in question. I'm simply moving into that spot to fill in right now."

I keep my gaze firm.

"Something permanent is going to be figured out when you're ready to get back into the field," I state. "Which I'm sure will be soon."

Sara swallows.

"Right," she answers quietly.

Then, steeling herself, she forces in a calming breath.

"Well," she says quietly but sincerely. "I'm glad you're back at CSI."

I nod, leaning across the table to chance a quick kiss with Sara before sitting down with a groan.

"Me too," I tell her, "But now that means I have to tell the FBI."

"Don't bother."

A male voice near the doorway draws Sara and my heads whipping around.

Ben is standing there with a look on his face best described as a mixture of shock, hurt, and disbelief.

"Consider the FBI notified of your leaving."

"Ben!" I yell, not caring how many unwanted eyes I'm drawing to us. "Stop!"

Whirling around, Ben pauses near the lab door.

"Why?" he questions, expression colored with defeat. "I came here to try to talk to you, to work things out. But there's clearly nothing more that needs to be said, Cat. I think your actions spoke loud enough for the both of us back there."

"That's…"

I let out a tight breath.

"That's new."

"Oh," he shrugs. "So I'm supposed to feel better knowing my fiancé didn't screw around on me while we were engaged? While she was living with the same person I just walked in on her kissing?"

He laughs. "That she had the decency to wait, what, a couple days to move on from our relationship?"

His voice is raised, drawing more curious onlookers to peek out from their doorways.

"It's not like that," I tell him, keeping my voice low.

"Of course it isn't," Ben advances slightly. "Of course it isn't that you just used me, let me play house with you for a while before tossing me out when the next piece of tail became available."

His words are hurtful, and not at all like the Ben I knew in Washington. But, I have to try to place myself in his position, what I would be thinking if I were him.

Probably the same things.

"I love her, Ben," I tell him honestly, not giving a shit who overhears me. "This isn't some 'piece of tail' or a phase. This is the person I love, the person it took me way too long to realize how I felt about."

He takes this in, eyes colored with hurt and anger.

"Well," he breathes out. "That's just great."

He steps back.

"Good to know I never stood a chance. Apparently I had the wrong parts. Or the wrong something."

Shaking his head, he raises his hands in surrender.

"I'm done, Cat," he gets out.

Looking past me, his expression turns stern.

"You better take care of her," he warns tightly. "You better make sure this is all worth it, worth ending a family."

"I will," Sara answers without hesitation, for the first time stepping around to place herself in my line of sight.

Ben looks between us, letting out one final breath before turning.

"Good luck, Cat," he offers over his shoulder, pushing through the lab doors and disappearing from sight.

"You alright?" Sara asks softly, hand reaching over to gently place itself on my arm.

"Yeah," I breathe out.

"I feel bad for hurting him," I tell her honestly. "But it feels good to have closure."

I shake my head. "Just like how I didn't want you to find out about him the way you did, I guess I had hoped he wouldn't find out about you the way he did."

Sara nods quietly, squeezing my arm.

"I'm sorry," she offers.

"No," I lace my fingers through hers. "Don't think for a moment I regret my decision, Sara," I tell her sincerely. "It's you…it's always been you."

Sara takes in a deep, steadying breath before nodding gently.

Looking out the car window, Sara looks back at me.

"You want me to stay for a bit?"

I smile, "My mother could be inside."

Sara laughs lightly. "I consider it a challenge I'm willing to accept."

I smile back.

"Can we just stay here like this for a while instead?" I question.

Sara nods, lifting her armrest to pull me gently to her.

Encircling her arms around me, she holds me close.

In her embrace I feel safe, secure, cared for.

Resting her head atop mine, Sara sits with me in silence, her fingers gently moving up and down my arm in calming motions.

Sitting together in the Tahoe, I close my eyes.

Today, I closed the door to one life.

Today, Sara put her fears aside to open the door to another.

AN: Thanks for reading.