9x03 was incredible. My only wish would have been to see more of the shower scene. I wanted it so much that I wrote my own add-on. I hope you all enjoy.
The hard, tiled wall of the shower met her back with force, the lukewarm water invading her mouth and nose she screamed at Callie.
"Get off of me!" She couldn't stand the thought of anyone touching her, especially not her wife. Callie used to gaze at her body with reverence and love, but now all she saw in Callie's eyes was pity. It made her want to throw up.
"Get off of me!" She yelled again, trying to fight her wife's grip and the assault of the running water on her face.
"There's nowhere else to go! This is my life now too!" Callie cried, her seemingly strong façade quickly disappearing. At those words Arizona opened her eyes, watching as her wife began to sob.
This is my life too.
A lump rose in Arizona's throat as Callie took gasping breaths.
"You…you made me promise never to leave. I…I can't leave you Arizona, I can't. I love you so much and I meant…I meant what I said." Callie struggled through her tears, holding Arizona's arms tightly to make sure she had her wife's attention.
"Whatever you can't do, I will."
Don't ever leave. Promise me that right now.
Arizona looked properly into her wife's eyes for the first time in months and was finally able to see the extent of Callie's pain.
Whatever you can't do, I will.
Here she was, doing everything around the house, doing everything for Sofia and trying to grieve for the loss of her best friend, and the loss of her wife's leg at her own command.
Pain, shame and guilt flooded Arizona's mind, threatening to choke her.
"Calliope…" She breathed, her voice barely audible over the sound of the running water. But Callie heard it. Her wife's gorgeous blue eyes held something other than anger and resentment. She saw fear and remorse and it made her pull the blonde into her embrace, praying that she wouldn't pull away.
Arizona didn't. Instead she held tightly, allowing Callie to envelope her. Suddenly her wife's arms didn't seem so strange and full of pity. Suddenly Callie wasn't simply helping her shower; she was holding her afloat.
"I…I don't know how to do this…how to be this person…" Arizona confessed, clinging to her wife.
For the first time since the amputation Callie realized that Arizona wasn't just angry, she was scared.
"I don't either…I don't either." She soothed, running a hand through the wet blonde tresses.
"Let me help you figure it out." She breathed against Arizona's ear, almost begging her.
Relief threatened to knock her off of her feet as she felt Arizona nod against her. Gently, she eased them to the floor of the shower. She was so exhausted of trying to keep a hold of everything; she buried her head into Arizona's neck and sobbed. The blonde held her close, a sense of calm finally washing over them.
"I'll try, Callie. I promise I'll try."