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CHAPTER 40

"Whenever, therefore, people are deceived and form opinions wide of the truth, it is clear that the error has slid into their minds through the medium of certain resemblances to that truth."

Socrates

CATHERINE POV

"Just one more bite."

"Cath…"

"Please?"

Sara groans, forcing down another bite of her breakfast.

"We done?" she asks, sending me a look. "Otherwise I'm going to be dangerously close to puking this all back up on your kitchen table."

"There will be nothing of the sort going on in my house," my mother's voice calls from the living room.

Sara sends me another look.

"We done?"

Smiling slightly at her expression, I ruffle her hair and gather our plates.

"We're done."

Sara's been flawless about keeping her word so far. She's been a sport about my insistence on scheduled, regular meals together like normal people have. She's agreed to limit her double shifts to two per week, and her overtime kept to a minimum.

I know it's been hard on her, but I'm hoping with the changes she starts to feel physically better, thus serving as its own incentive to the brunette to keep it up.

Entering the kitchen, my mother glances at Sara and I.

"You still look like an emaciated twig," she offers to Sara as she passes by.

"Mother!"

Sara only rolls her eyes, shaking her head.

"Something to be said about honesty, I guess."

"Sara, I'm sorry…" I futilely try to offer when my mother leaves the room.

Stepping up to her, I take hold of her face gently, stopping her actions of drying the dishes.

"I love you."

Sara raises a brow, looking a little confused by my behavior.

"I love you, too."

"I appreciate all you're doing, Sara," I tell her. "I know you're trying hard to do what I've asked of you, and I am so grateful."

Sara shrugs, "We had a deal."

Kissing her softly, I force myself to let her go so that we can get to work.

"So how's life with our favorite introvert?"

I laugh, "Sara?"

"Who else?"

Smiling, I watch Sara as she processes the perimeter of our new scene, the brunette leaning down to take a photo of something near the corner of the house.

"I think we're doing okay."

"Think?"

I take a deep breath, finally facing Russell.

"It's been a long road," I tell him honestly. "And we still have a long way to go…"

"But…"

"But we're making progress. She's making progress."

"You know, I was wrong about you."

I raise a brow at DB's seemingly off topic statement.

"I thought you coming here, bringing that new case into her life was the last thing she needed," DB meets my eyes. "I think I was trying to deny the fact that she'd already been slipping away long before you came back."

I listen silently, not wanting to interrupt DB. Seeing the emotion in his eyes, I think this is something he's had on his mind for a while.

"I ignored it, Catherine," he shrugs. "Convinced myself that she was fine. After all, in all the time I've been here, she's always been the lynch pin to this team, the one steady member always holding everything and everyone together."

He shakes his head.

"I didn't want to believe that Sara, impervious Sara, was having issues of her own."

"She hides her issues well," I offer, hating to see him beating himself up. "She doesn't like accepting help. Even if it's offered."

"I know," he nods. "But I should've tried harder. It shouldn't have taken hitting rock bottom, this, for me to pull my head out of my ass. I think she needed someone like you, not willing to back down, to finally start turning things around."

"Sara respects you," I state, watching his reaction. "She's always respected your leadership, your professionalism. But, I think most of all, she's also respected your friendship. She knew she could come to you if she wanted, Russell. Knows she still always can."

Squeezing his arm, I follow his gaze towards the dark brunette now making her way into the house, offering us a small smile as she passes by.

"We're a family," I tell Russell. "All of us."

"I really don't think this is supposed to look like this."

Sara sends me a look before returning to her task.

"I'm serious, Sara…"

Nothing.

"Sara!"

"I'm not deaf."

"No?" I question. "Then perhaps the issue is selective hearing?"

Sara sends me another look.

"Trust in the process, Catherine."

"Yeah yeah," I roll my eyes, "that's what you've been saying for the last hour."

"Hmm," she mutters. "Then perhaps the issue is selective hearing?"

Reaching forward, I smack her right on the ass, not able to suppress my smile as she tries to squirm away.

"Oh no, Sidle," I warn, taking firm hold of her hips. "You started this…"

"I did not!" she protests, gesturing around her. "I'm simply trying to cook you a nice meal, and all I hear is 'this looks weird' and 'why does it smell like that' blah blah blah…"

Smacking her again, Sara tries to move away until she is pinned against the counter, nowhere else to go.

"What now?" I question her with a smirk.

Sara seems to consider her options for a few moments before she turns her head. Then, before I have any time to prepare, she places her lips against mine.

Immediately, it's like the whole world falls away.

It's me. It's her. And it's nothing else.

"Sar…" I breathe out, feeling her hand traveling down my side.

"Hmm…" Sara mumbles, her lips moving from mine to place soft kisses down my neck.

Good God.

"Sara…" I try again. "Not fair…"

When Sara's tongue finds a sensitive spot near my pulse point, I give up.

Not wasting a moment, I take hold of her sides tightly, pushing her back flush against the counter.

Grunting, Sara doesn't break contact, her own free hand taking on a life of its own as it travels upwards to tangle itself in my hair.

Lowering my head so my lips once again meet with hers, it's only a matter of seconds before both our tongues are dueling for dominance.

Her hips trapped beneath mine, I press my advantage, lowering one hand down to grab her belt. Sliding my fingers along the material, I feel my way to the buckle.

Keeping her distracted as I bite gently down on her bottom lip, I pull the leather belt free of the buckle.

Hearing the clinking metal, Sara's motions pause, the brunette going still.

Breathing heavily, I pull away just far enough to meet Sara's eyes, one hand at her waist, the other placing itself gently on her chest.

We both know where this is headed, what we're moments away from doing.

I search Sara's gaze, trying to read the silent brunette and the emotions she's experiencing right now.

Feeling her heartbeat racing under my fingers, I keep her held close.

"Sara…"

Her eyes watch mine intently, but she remains silent.

"I meant what I said, honey," I whisper. "If you're not ready, that's okay."

I trust Sara with all my heart. She's always been there for me in more ways that I can count. With her I feel loved, cared for, protected.

I feel safe.

There's no way I want this beautiful woman to feel pressured into anything until she feels the same way about me.

"I'll wait for as long as it takes, Sara," I promise her.

Still watching me, I send her a gentle smile as I start to pull back.

But, before I can complete the action, she leans forward, capturing me in an impassioned kiss.

"You sure?" I whisper, struggling for breath when we finally pull apart.

She nods, taking a deep breath of her own. Reaching blindly behind her, she hits at the stove until we both hear it click off.

"I'm sure."

It's like I've never seen her before. Her body, her skin, everything. It's like I'm seeing her for the first time.

Hands reaching out, I gently slide the sweater from her arms, fingers running down the smooth skin of her shoulders, her elbows, her forearms.

Reaching her hands, I entwine my fingers with her good hand, her other still encased in the hard, black brace.

Watching her, I pull one hand away, moving it back down towards her jeans. Taking hold of the already unbuckled belt, I pull it slowly through the loops.

Hearing it drop to the floor with a thud, Sara's gaze remains locked on mine.

Unbuttoning her jeans, I watch her expression.

"You okay?"

She nods, swallowing tightly.

Proceeding onward, I gently start to unzip her jeans.

And, that's exactly when the doorbell rings.

The fucking doorbell.

You've got to be kidding me.

"Ignore it?" I question hopefully.

Sara nods, eyes still locked on mine as if she never even heard it ring in the first place.

Resuming my actions, I groan aloud when the ringing turns to a solid knocking.

"Fucking hell," I groan.

Sara looks just about as pleased as I am, the brunette taking a steadying breath before pulling back slightly.

"Give me a minute," she says. "They'll be gone in under thirty seconds."

Leaning forward, she places a soft kiss against my lips.

"Maybe less."

Sending me a small, apologetic smile, Sara kisses me one last time before quickly exiting her bedroom to head to the door.

Hearing it open, I can hear a low exchange of voices.

Then, I hear the door close.

Wow, she wasn't kidding. That was barely even 5 seconds.

But, instead of hearing Sara, I hear silence.

Furrowing my brows, I grab Sara's discarded sweater from the carpet to wrap it around my bare arms

Moving out of her room, I note she isn't in the house – instead, she's stepped out onto the porch to talk to whomever was at the door.

Curiosity getting the best of me, I slowly approach her wooden front door, straining to hear the conversation happening beyond.

As I get close, I feel my breathing catch as I recognize the other voice.

Claire.

I pause, not knowing what to do. I don't want to snoop, but at the same time I so very much do. The last interaction between Sara and Claire at Claire's house after she watched over Sara was uncomfortable to say the least.

I'm more than curious to know what brings Claire by now.

Still hesitating in what to do, my decision becomes much clearer when I hear the conversation turning from hushed to decidedly more heated.

Hand on the doorknob, I open it just as I hear Sara's voice mutter something darkly.

As soon as the door opens, both Sara and Claire turn to face me. Their expressions couldn't be different from one another.

Sara looks pissed.

Claire looks determined.

"What's going on?"

No one answers.

Crossing my arms over my chest, I wait them out.

Claire's the first to move, her eyes taking in my semi-dressed appearance.

Then, moving back towards Sara, she looks over the brunette's tank top and jeans.

I see the moment her eyes land on the open button at Sara's waist.

"So, I take it from the looks of things you haven't told her?"

Sara's jaw tightens.

"There's nothing to tell."

"Oh really?" Claire laughs, brow raised.

"I told you to drop it, Claire," Sara warns, her tone dangerously low. "That didn't mean for you to instead go and show up at my house."

"Oh right," Claire shrugs. "I guess I got confused, just like someone else did that night."

Sara's eyes narrow, the brunette taking a threatening step forward.

"Leave."

Dark gaze boring into Claire's, Sara stands firm.

When Claire remains where she is, I move to place myself between them.

"Someone explain," I threaten in my own dark tone. "Now."

"Go ahead, Sara," Claire suggests darkly, pointing her finger into Sara's chest. "Explain."

"Don't touch me," Sara grinds out, pushing Claire's hand violently away.

"Hey," I intercede, placing my hand on Sara's chest and pushing her back a couple steps. "Stop."

Sara swallows tightly, clearly fighting to maintain her composure.

"Claire," I turn my attention to the other player in this. "You have my full attention. So, stop provoking my girlfriend and explain whatever the hell it is you came here to discuss."

Claire's eyes bore into Sara's before she turns her attention to me.

"Fine," she shrugs. "I just came to talk to Sara about what happened that night she stayed with me."

Silence.

"Which was?" I prompt tightly.

"Which was the fact that Sara kissed me."

My thoughts, my breathing, all of it stops.

"Fuck you," Sara steps forward, head shaking darkly. "You-"

"Stop," I grab Sara tightly, again pushing her back.

"What in the hell are you talking about?" I turn back towards Claire. "You said nothing about anything like this when I came to pick her up…"

"I was protecting her," Claire says tightly.

"So why the sudden change of heart now?" I question, still trying to make heads or tails of all of this.

"Because now, Catherine, I realize I'm not protecting anyone by pretending things didn't happen. Pretending like things are okay when they so clearly aren't. I'm not protecting Sara by ignoring the fact that she's destroying her life, that the strongest person I ever knew is turning into a ghost of herself."

"Go fuck yourself," Sara gets out, pushing against me so strongly that I need to use both hands to keep her back and away from Claire.

"So this is your plan, Claire?" Sara states darkly when she gives up trying to get past me. "This is your new tactic?"

"Sara," I call, trying to get her eyes to meet mine. "Please, explain to me what the hell is going on."

"Yeah, Sara," Claire baits. "Why don't you open up and share with Catherine here."

"Sara," I cut into Claire's barbs, taking Sara's jaw and trying to force her gaze back to mine. "Ignore her. Just talk to me, honey. Like it's just you and me. Please explain this."

"What happened to you?" Sara gets out, clearly still talking to Claire. "What happened to supporting Catherine and I in our relationship? To your claims of wanting to be a supportive friend?"

This time I don't interrupt, honestly having the same questions myself.

"I was supportive," Claire responds. "I was ready to be your friend and welcome you back into my life in whatever capacity you wanted. But, you kissed me, Sara. Whether you like it or not, you did."

Claire takes a threatening step forward.

"I'm not going to be some pawn in this, watching you keep trying to convince yourself and everyone around you that you're happy how things are now. I know you, Sara."

She shakes her head.

"I know that you're not happy being with Catherine."

"Don't," Sara gets out, forcing her way around me to take Claire by the front of her shirt. "Don't you dare pretend like you know the first thing about me…"

Holding Claire firmly, Sara shakes her head darkly. "We're done, Claire. I'm sorry things between us didn't work out," she says tightly. "But that doesn't give you the right to interfere with my life like this."

Pushing away, Sara lets go of Claire, standing threateningly over her instead.

"We're done. We've been done. And we're never going to be anything again. So stay the hell out of my life."

Sara's gaze burns into Claire's.

"I'm happy with Catherine. So unbelievably happy." Sara's voice quiets, her words heavy with emotion. "She's made me realize that I never really understood love, what it means to truly be in love with someone, until I met her."

The air is thick with tension, a tense and silent stillness.

Then, a blur of motion, and the sound of hand meeting with skin.

Pulling back, Claire watches Sara with angry tears welling in her eyes, her handprint forming in bright red across Sara's cheek.

"What we had was true love, Sara, and you know it. But, I hope you're right," Claire whispers. "I hope you're really as happy as you claim. Because you really could've fooled me."

Moving away, Claire backs away down the porch steps.

"Good luck," she offers over her shoulder. "I think at this point you both deserve one another, deserve to spend eternity muddling through this bullshit masquerade you've built for yourselves. Convincing yourselves you're madly in love and that everything will be okay."

Looking Sara pointedly up and down, she shakes her head.

"Everything is so far from being okay it's almost horrifying. And, if you both don't see that, you must be blind."

Without another word, Claire gets into her car, backing out and speeding off down the road.

Closing my eyes, I try to take deep and steadying breaths.

In. Out.

In. Out.

When I open them, I see Sara standing darkly, her expression tight and tense.

Eying the mark on her skin where Claire slapped her, I shake my head.

"I…"

Trailing off, I swallow, at a loss of what to say.

Breathing in, I pinch my temples before focusing back on Sara.

I watch her apprehensively.

"Did you kiss her?"

The question hangs between us, the words frozen and trapped in the heavy air.

Then, the whispered answer to the question I wished I never asked breaks everything into pieces.

"Yes."

AN: Thanks for reading.