She wouldn't like this.
She wouldn't approve. He could hear her words in his head.
Don't do this John. That's what she would say. And he'd do whatever she asked.
It had been easy to find the man who shot her. Footage from certain security cameras had provided information needed to track him down. He'd broken into his apartment and waited. And now he had him on his knees, begging for his life. But he ignored the pleas for mercy. The Glock was pressed close to the back of his head and Reese was ready to fire.
"I don't know you man. I don't know anything about that cop. It wasn't me; you got me confused with someone else." Excuses and lies permeated the air. "I didn't shoot anybody…..please."
He blocked out his voice. Blocked out the beads of sweat falling down his face. All he saw was Carter lying in the alley on her back, gasping for breath. Almost gone.
He'd almost lost her.
Tears stung his eyes at the thought and for a minute he hesitated.
She'd tell him how it would be better for him to be arrested, to stand trial, to go to prison. But in Reese's mind, that was too good for someone like him.
"Mr. Reese…..what are you doing?" Finch's voice momentarily distracted him. He touched his ear piece, speaking softly.
"Finch, I'm going to hang up and you are not going to try to reach me for the rest of the night. Do you understand? I have something to take care of."
"That's what I'm afraid of, John. Think about what you're doing." Finch cautioned.
He was done thinking. He was done with reasoning. His mind was focused and made up. The only person, who could change it, wasn't here.
He disconnected the call and his face turned to stone. His lips thinned out and his eyes darkened.
He fired two shots and left the room before the body hit the floor.
Two shots to the head, for the two she took in the chest.
It was done, over with, already forgotten and he had a compelling urge to see her. He passed by her apartment and stood at his usual spot so he could watch her from afar.
She was in the kitchen standing in front of the stove. She was wearing a silk kimono over pajamas and fluffy bedroom slippers were on her feet. He chuckled at them remembering a story she told him of where they came from. Her hair was hanging loose on her shoulders. And he thought she looked absolutely adorable.
She'd just put some water on to boil. It looked like she was making tea, maybe hot chocolate. He watched her search for something in the lower cupboards but not finding it. Then she looked up at the top cupboards and he shook his head hoping she didn't try to reach up on her own.
"Don't do it, Joss." He said aloud, knowing she couldn't hear him. Her doctor had told her not to raise her arms over her head to reach for anything too high, not for a few weeks following her hospital stay, but he knew she was stubborn; he wouldn't put it past her to do it anyway.
She proved him right, opening the cupboard door and she poked around a bit before he saw her flinch a little and she pulled her arms down, temporarily leaning on the counter with a hand to her chest.
"Damn it, Joss." he said wanting to go to her right now.
He watched as Taylor came into the kitchen, and she straightened up quickly so he wouldn't see her in pain. She said something to him and a few seconds later he reached up and got the tin of hot chocolate she was looking for.
He gave her shoulder a squeeze before leaving the kitchen and she smiled.
When he left, he watched as her head bowed and she closed her eyes. He lowered his binoculars and walked away. But not before seeing silent tears run down her cheeks.
He felt her pain. He felt her loss. But he also felt shame at the fact that he felt too weak and too afraid to go to her.