Thought/Flashback/Dream
Chapter 12
Isabelle sighed loudly, for a moment she thought that Elissa was talking about Roderick. But as she listen the explanation of her sister, Isabelle understands her behavior. She could feel the fear of Elissa; she didn't remember seeing her in that way but of what she was afraid?
"What are the reasons of your fear, Elissa?" she whispers.
"I never felt afraid for the marriage but now I feel. Isabelle, I'm terrified..." Elissa was not supposed to show her fear to anyone, she wanted to be strong but it was good to share her emotions with someone, to feel the loving embrace of her sister, even though she couldn't do anything. Never had she fear of not being loved as now she had. She wanted to know why he kisses her, she desperate need to know what he felt... or maybe she just was imagine everything, maybe the kiss was just one thing. The thoughts were hurting her more than she ever imagine.
"Elissa, what you pretend to do?"
"I will do everything in my power not to marry Roderick..."
"I know that. You don't like Roderick and that should be enough for father…"
"But it isn't!" her eyes were moist.
"About Elmont, what you pretend to do?"
"I know that I'm supposed not to love him but..."
What can I do?
"Forget that; forget the rules forget everything and only think in what you feel, on what makes you happy and what you need..."
"I can't help it Isabelle. I love him and..." I need some answers "I need him..."
He loves you. I hope he can see that you love him too.
"I hope that you can find the answers you are looking for"
Elmont clenches his jaw and rests his head against the wall of stone. He couldn't have kissed her... But she kisses him back.
Stop thinking in that kiss, stop thinking in her...
However hard he tried, Elmont couldn't manipulate his thoughts, they always returned to her. He would have laughed at this moment but did not, he couldn't. He closed his eyes... When he felt a strong hand on his shoulder turned quickly to find Crawe, his face betrayed the preoccupation he felt for his friend.
"Elmont, are you okay?" Crawe could see all the thoughts that were running in his friend head reflected in his eyes.
"Sorry Crawe..."
"You seem more distant... what happen?" he could see that something had happened to worsen the condition of his friend, before he found Elmont distant and absorbed in his thoughts but now it was more than that. More. Agonized?
Elmont begins to walk away from his comrade, starting to walk in the direction of the yard where would be the other knights and recruits.
"You'd better not knowledge..." muttered.
"It will better of you if you get it out of your chest" waved and Elmont Stopped and look at Crawe, blankly. In that moment Crawe sign. "What are tormenting you are thoughts of Elissa" muttered and in his face appeared a broad smile when the captain's eyes widened slightly. Elmont looked at him, heard her name said without any title and realized that Crawe understood long ago his feelings. Elmont chose not to contest, thought and knew that if he did he would just add more wood to the fire but if he did not speak it would be the same... "You like her..." there was a long silence in which Crawe expected Elmont to denied but not a word came out of his mouth. Crawe was his friend for a long time and he knew Elmont and the captain knew what he felt for the princess even before Elmont could understand. He remembered the times when he saw Elmont's eyes following Elissa, he could see glint. He knew that his friend knew that he knew but still he hoped he denied. "You do not have the decency to deny. You think too much in her and become agonizing to know that she's too close but too far..."
"Crawe..."
"Something happened for you to be in this state and engages Elissa. I've never seen you like that so what happen Elmont. I hope you know that you can trust me; I will not judge you... Regardless of what you done you are the best of all of us" Elmont smiled weakly.
"It's complicated..." He whisper and leaned against the closer wall of stone. No one was visible, there were just the two of them, it was perfect time to let off steam but something hold him back, something restrain him... And Crawe knew that he didn't want to talk but that didn't mean that he would give up to know, to want and help his friend.
"You cannot hide your feelings forever. You want her! You desire her! You love her!" muttered "I can tell that and I'm sure more people will. I see the weight that this secret was in you...It would be better handle IF you confide..."
How could he tell what he felt to Elissa? Elmont was afraid... The control that sustained him was broken, he had kissed her. He tasted her lips, felt her body against his and desired more, desired and wants everything. The captain feared to lose the control against as he had lost, feared that she would reject him and what he felt for her. And yet he still find himself thinking that he couldn't because she was the princess and he was just her guardian...
"I can't tell her what I feel..."
"You can but you don't want because you fear what she will do or say... you fear that more than anything"
"What do you expect me to do?!"
"What happen?" Elmont looked deeply into the eyes of Crawe.
"I kiss her..."
Keira embrace Isabelle and when they part, she hugged Elissa. She was glad to see the two princesses and pleased to hear and see that Elissa was well and awake but looking at the princess she realized that something was tormenting her. Elissa seemed lost in her thoughts even if she was showing herself strong, something happened...
"It's so good to see you both." both smiled to see the warm smile of the woman who was so used to seeing. Keira always liked the sisters, the spirit and personality of each. With a warm smile, Keira remembered the times that the two sisters made their appearances in the kitchen. They choose the Kitchen to leave the castle because the kitchen entrance was connected to the exit that led to the city and always, the two choose to leave in that place, dressed in simple clothes so they can hide among of the people. Keira kept secret about the clandestine departures of both, even when the knights and the captain sought them, she pretended not know anything. She knew how much both sought freedom, sought to know people, how much they liked to leave the castle. She knew how much these little things were important to them but also knew how much it could become dangerous... But Keira tried not to think about the possible situations.
The News about the death of Elissa had great impact in her but to see her well was a great joy, to Keira the people that worked in the castle and the two princesses had become the family that she had lost. She had an important person that person meant to her the world but he had died and Keira didn't like to think in the past.
"It good to see you too. I'm sorry that I didn't came to visit you when I first arrive" Elissa said with a smile.
"There's no need to apologize I happy in seeing you. But now how do you feel? Truly?" Keira ask about everything and Elissa was sure of that. She was asking about the marriage, asking about her health and Elissa was certain that she was asking about want torment her mind. The princess always was surprise to the knowledge that the woman have, the brown eyes that show to her the years and wisdom that Keira held, she always felt that pierce her soul and could find every little thing that she guard even if she thought that she could hidden from her but never could, not to Keira.
"I'm well..." Keira smile to Isabelle and she giggle.
"That's not true" Keira held the hands of Elissa in hers and look at her eyes deeply. "I heard about the marriage..." Elissa's body tense "But I'm known that you are strong, my dear" Elissa sign, she felt tired... It was clear to them how much Elissa didn't like the idea of marriage. Elissa saw the concern in her eyes and hugged Keira.
"There's no need to worry, I will find a way"
"I'm sure that you will" Isabelle smiled at the sight before her. To Elissa and Isabelle, Keira was important. She was the one that heard the both when they needed and never has she judged them by the choices or words...
"Thank you Keira, It's so good to hear your voice, I missed you..." she was glad that someone believe in her, glad that someone was with her.
"It's good to see you alive" they part.
"I wanted to know if you know here is Elmont." Elissa ask. She needed answers. Keira saw the light and glint that appear in her eyes and smile.
Interesting…More than I thought it seems…
"The last time I saw him, Elmont came for food that certainly brought to you." Isabelle smiled at Elissa knowing what she wanted to know. "Probably he should be training the new recruits and the young Knights" Elissa looked Isabelle who nodded slightly and smiled. She approached Keira and kissed her.
"Thank you"
Elissa started walking alone toward the courtyard where should be the knights training, she leave the women behind. Her heart sped and she got nervous, her mind was racing and every possible situations pass thought her mind. What she would ask? What she would do?
Please…Please…
She needed answers even if she didn't like the ones she could get, she needed to know what he thought, what he felt for her or was just something one side…
Elissa approached the entrance to outside, walking into the courtyard. The sun was strong and to protect her eyes Elissa raised her hand. Her eyes blinked several times to adjust to the light and observed for some instants, with fascination the young knights train. Elissa couldn't help to be enchanted by the graceful movements of many Knights presents. Others were not so graceful in their movements.
The princess saw Elmont approach two recruits and correct theirs positions. The kiss came to her mind, it was only a moments ago but the moment lived in her mind. He pulled the sword from the young man and started showing the correct movements. Elissa moved among the knights and young recruits who stopped and stared, some enchanted by her beauty and statute, others trying to show undifferentiated. Elmont motioned for the young man to came forward in an attempt to demonstrate the movement. She was fascinated with the movements of the two men, it was clear that the captain was holding back his strength and speed.
"That's it..."
She smiled to hear his voice; she could not deny that his voice caused some reaction to her. Elmont caught movement out of the corner of his eye, and turned to see the princess coming to him. The young Knight that Elmont was helping took advantage of his distraction, landing a hard blow to his temple. His vision became blur and he close his eyes. He took various steps back and finally he fall to his knees. His head was hurting so much, blinked several times but each time his eyes were open the pain increased and for that reason he decided to keep them closed.
"Captain!"
"Elmont!" Elissa began to run in his direction but Crawe stopped her while the young knights approached the captain.
"Princess, its better if you wait to talk to him..." she saw understating in his eyes and knew that he knew what happen between then. Elissa tried to pull away to approach Elmont, she was concerned, she felt her heartbeat speed. Crawe stop her. "Please..." Elissa look at his eyes and nodded.
"Just let me…" Crawe smile and both approach Elmont. In the temple of Elmont had blood running down his face and to see the scarlet liquid installed some fear in her even if she knew that the wound was not as serious as it looks. Elmont probably should be feeling dizzy. Elissa touch his chin and look at the temple where the blood she felt in her hand was coming.
"It was a hard blow…" whisper Crawe.
The boy knelt in front of the captain and apology; her eyes were wide with fear and preoccupation for his captain. Elissa felt his clenched jaw and saw his eyes closed and knew that Elmont was feeling pain.
"I'm so sorry!" the young knight was scared.
"No, no," Elmont said as he touch slightly in her hand and moved her away, when he pass his hand in his temple he wince. "I'm alright. You did well, don't worry." he knew that Elissa was there, the soft touch was hers and somehow he could feel her worry and he was trying that Elissa and the recruits didn't see how much it was hurting him.
Elissa smile with tenderness to the young man
"Fell proud that you disarm the captain. Not many people could do what you did"
"T-thank you, captain. Thank you Princess" the boy blush and the fear and concern star to leave him.
"Back to the work!" Said Crawe harshly to everyone.
Crawe wince and kneel beside his friend, somehow it was fun to see that he wasn't the only one to have been hurt that day. His lip hurt when he talks, smile or even eat, that was the worst. He grins.
"Are you alright Elmont?" ask Crawe.
"It seems that I'm well?"
"Elmont you have to clean this wound, it not serious…" the princess said and touches his wound again and he wince "I'm sorry. You will feel dizzy now but…"
"How do you know that?" he whispers. He didn't know that she had knowledge about wounds.
"I-I learn when I was in the monastery, the monks clean my wound when I was unconscious but I didn't like when they did when I was awake so they teach to me some things." Elmont smile and open his eyes slightly and look at her face, his vision blurry but he could see that she was so beautiful. She was a sight.
"Help me..." he whispers to Crawe. It still hurt when he open his eyes and is equilibrium was fragile, he wrap his arm around the shoulders of Crawe. Elmont's other hand rested on his forehead and began to walk.
"Back to the work!"
Elissa was worried about him and it was visible that he was not feeling well. Would it be right that Elissa look for the answers to the questions that she had, in this moment? But the need to know was overwhelming her.
"Princess, are you alright?" Edwin approaches her smiling.
"Yes." his eyes followed the figure of Crawe and Elmont. When she looked around she noticed that the knights, some were worried about the captain or were looking to her curious. She began to walk in the direction where both leaving behind the young Knights and recruits disappeared.
She was afraid of the answers that Elmont could give to her but no matter what he tell her she prefer to know. In trying to calm her breath and closed his eyes for a moment.
What can I do? What can I expect?
When she approaches the door Crawe knock her.
"Princess..."
"How is he?"
"He just need..."
"I take care of his wound."
"There's no need..."
"I can take care of his wound Crawe, and I need to talk to him. There's no need to you to be concern about him. I just need some materials..." Crawe run to get the materials that she request and she wait a little. When he came she took the materials from his hand and asks him to wait there.
She enters the room slowly approaching here he was sit and put the materials in the table beside him. Elmont was sitting with eyes closed and head leaning the chair, the head still ached but the vision was no longer blurry as before. Elissa began preparing the dressing when I was full ready to clean his wound.
She began to wipe the face of Elmont gently and he winced when he stared to clean his wound. His hand closed around Elissa's wrist stopping her movements.
"It would be better if you let me clean this wound," the captain quickly opened his eyes startled to see Elissa again, so close. In the yard he thought she was not but a mirage, a dream but now he was sure she had been at his side. To look at her brought the memory of the kiss, feeling her so close make his desire grow. The Kiss left him pleading for more.
She smiled but would have laughed at the look on his face. It was nice to be near him, to touch him and know that he was well. Elissa's other hand wrapped in his and gently make him release her wrist.
"Why are you here?"
"It's better if somebody takes care of your wound..." he interrupts her.
"There are people to do this..." Elmont closed his eyes again "What are you looking for?
"Answers. Elmont we need to talk about what happen"
"Princess this is not the right place neither the right time to do it" when he open his eyes again he saw the annoying in her eyes and felt it when she press slightly more in his wound when he call her princess. Elissa felt like he was trying to distance himself from her when he calls her princess.
"Elissa, its Elissa. Why are you so insisting in calling me by my title? Are you afraid of something?" she was angry because he was trying to deny the conversation, he could tell that and maybe she had a reason to be, she believes she had.
He moves his face to look at her but she grabs his chin making him look in other direction as she continues to clean his wound. Elissa moved to pick up the bandage and began to put it on the wound with greatest care she had, she did not want to cause him pain. A silence settled between them, Elissa expect an answer but would not have.
"Why are you here princess?" she walked away taking a few steps when she finish the bandage. Turned away being near him interfered with her thoughts. She wanted to scream her name when he insist in using her title, every time he used it reminded her that she was a princess, and that made her remember the wedding, made her remember that he was her guardian and that she was not supposed to love him like she did but didn't care now... Always fought for what she wanted and now she just wanted answers, answers that only he could give.
He moved his hand to the temple and found the bandage well placed, somehow he was impressed, thought about praise her but the matter that he was about to discuss was more important.
"Tell me Captain?" Elmont close his eyes tight when she said captain "You seem to know my name when you kiss me" He rested his head in one hand and closed his eyes for moments, despite the good work of Elissa in his wound it was clear that the headache was still present. "Why you run from me?" she spoke in a voice without emotion.
"I didn't rum, I leave."
"It's the same" he looks at her.
"It's not, run is..." honestly, he was leaving her exasperated and she only began to talk to him. For Elissa was visible, it was clear that Elmont was avoiding the subject but why? Why was he doing that? Maybe because he shouldn't have kissed her but she had kissed him, the blame was also hers. She only sought answers... For now.
"I Know what run is!"
"Then you are well aware what leave means."
"I know what both words mean. You could stop trying avoiding what happen and tell me why you regret that kiss? It was clear to me that you wanted that kiss or am I wrong?"
What? She thought that he regrets that kiss, no, he could never regret it but if he thought a little he would see that is actions said otherwise. He just realizes that he was not supposed to kiss her. More, he was not supposed to been so close to her...
"I didn't regret it, I just realize that what I what is Irrelevant" now she was certain that he wanted to kiss her even if he didn't said. But irrelevant? What he wanted was irrelevant?
"Irrelevant? It's not for me." He snaps his eyes open and look at her, trying to discover the meaning of those simple words. "Tell me what is relevant to you?"
"To do the right thing..."
"And for you duty is one of the rightness things?" he stood up and look at her.
"Yes, it's one of them" she look at him and for moments contemplate him and approach him smiling sadly.
"I realize a time now that the right thing to do comes from here" she put her hand above his heart "not from here" them she points to his head "Since I meet you... and that's a long time now... since then I know that you think in nothing more than to do the right thing..." Elmont smile and look straight into her eyes. He always thought that her eyes here beautiful, Elmont always wish to lose in the deeps of the grey color.
"What do you want to know?"
"What do you want? Your feelings don't have place in none of your decisions?"
"There's' nothing to know" he said almost harshly, Elissa took a few steps back and then she turn around with her back to him "the kiss was not supposed to happen. It was a mistake..." she closed her eyes, it hurt to listen to him telling that, she knew too well the reasons behind those words but it hurt...
"So you don't feel anything?" he remained silent. Elmont had wanted from the beginning that she didn't ask those questions but that she had asked, he didn't want to lie but didn't want to tell her the truth. He remained silent. Elissa took is silence as the answer, for a few moments she thought that he shared the same feelings but she and been wrong. "So let me ask you just this Elmont. Why did you kiss me?" when she look at his eyes she couldn't help remember the kiss and the feeling that brought, couldn't help remember that she had kiss him back. How close he had been to her. Elissa didn't want her mind torturing her with questions but knowing why he did it was the only question she truly asks him to answers.
He stare at her, now he had the feeling that she thought that he didn't care about her feelings like other people and hurt that she think that... how could she think that? Even if he didn't understand her felling's, Elmont now was certain that she felt something for him, even if wasn't what he felt he knew that she felt something, as Elissa turn to look at him, he saw the necklace that he had given to her. He remember when he had given to her, even when he give it to her he had doubts if she would like, if she would like that little bird... But he was confuse, Why she cherish that necklace? What she felt for him? He saw an emotion in her eyes and he wanted to know what was that, the curiosity took the better of him, he needed to know and he couldn't think in nothing more. Elissa turn to leave but he grab her wrist.
"Elissa... Why are you doing this? Why are you asking these questions?" Elissa didn't turn to look at him.
"Why am I doing this?" Elissa turn to look at him, at his face and he saw the anger mixed with the hurt in the grey eyes. He didn't understand...
"What do you want?"
"What do I want?!"
"Stop repeating the questions..." he turns her around and presses his body against her. She rest her other hand in his shoulder and her head fall for only a moments.
"I want to know why you did it...Why did you kiss me." She could feel his hot breath tickle her skin, temptation her. He didn't respond, he had hope that she would not ask him that. He could answers every question that belong to her but that question he was afraid to answer, he was afraid of the implications of the words he would say and more than that he was afraid of her reaction, so he keep silent. Elissa wait a few moments, wait for an answers that quickly understand that will not came so she ask again. "Why did you did it?" she step back a little, the feeling of him so close to her was disturbing her thoughts, his grip loose and release her.
Someone knock in the door, Elmont stare at Elissa. He only could think of her, he saw disappoint and hurt in her eyes. When he extended his hand to touch her she shook her head.
The door open to reveal the king and Crawe. Crawe smile sadly to both.
"Elissa! Why are you here?" Elissa approach her father and smile to him, a smile that didn't reach her eyes. She embraces him.
"Sire" Elmont bowed slightly.
"I was here because I needed to talk something with Elmont..." she responds to the question of her father, the king looks at Elmont.
"Something important?"
"Yes, important for me..." he swallows when he heard those words.
"Are you alright? You seem a little tired. I so happy that you are well my child." The King embraces Elissa again.
"I'm alright, father. It's better if I go, now..."
"You still can discuss with Elmont what you were talking..."
"No, father, there's nothing more to say." the way she said those simple words make his heart hurt.
Roderick clench his fists as he walk. Beside him was his loyal guard, Sir Wicke. Elissa had left him with anger that he hardly could control. How could she tell him that she would to everything not to marry him? She wouldn't do anything to his plan; he would make sure of that. He had to be king.
Now he had discover something that couldn't and didn't make sense, he needed proves. But that was for later, now, if he wouldn't do something, his plan could be destroy and he didn't needed and want that.
That insolent...
"She is beginning to waste my time... Again" before she disappear, before everyone, even him thought that she was dead, she had begun to do some insolent things, trying that the King change his mind about the marriage and she almost did if he hadn't interfere he wouldn't continue betrothed to her. And he was lucky that the king accept him to continue the marriage to his daughter because the words of the captain had touch his heart, the "battle" that she fight.
The captain... He didn't like him, he never did because Roderick always saw how close to Elissa he was and he could see the feelings that he has for her. Roderick hope, only hope that nothing happen... He groans.
"She can't do anything" Wicke said and Roderick sign deeply. He had to have patience with his guard, sometimes or most of the times he lack intelligence but he was good to following orders and he being loyal to Roderick help stand him.
I'm surrounded by idiots.
"She will do everything in her power not to marry me..." she was intelligent, Roderick had to admit. She choose the actions instead of the word and that had gain points in the king but his continue advise had help him in various ways making the king not take action in making her, his heir of the crown, if he could marry her, Roderick would be the one to be king but if he make her his heir, she would be the one to reign even if he marry her. "She will escape if she can't do anything about the marriage but she only will do it if she knows that her sister will be alright without the same fate as her." He knew how her mind work, he was sure of that but he didn't know her completely.
"So what we do?" Roderick clench his teeth, he never like when Wicke said "we", for him that was no "we", it was only him. He was the one that have to think, the one with intelligence.
"I have to dominate her, somehow."
"What are you planning?"
"If I can't find a way I will have to use the same thing, again..." he didn't like to think that he have to use the same thing, if he could he wouldn't use…
"You mean when you order to kill her and that got wrong?" Roderick stop and look at Wicke. Anger shoot through him and he grab Wicke from his shirt.
He is a fool?!
"I will say this just one time and don't forget… Don't say that again, for your own good." Roderick released him "That only got wrong because those fools thought they could gain more money that I gave to them and how that turns out? They all killed by the captain and his man. I was lucky that no one found my alliance to that band of..." he clenches his jaw. Sometimes he wishes he could hit Wicke and make some intelligence enter in that foolish head of his.
"..."
"If I can't control her then she doesn't serve any of my purpose so..."
"You mean?"
"Yes, I have to kill her..." he look to his hand and close "but this time I will not fail."
And that I'm certain.
Let me know what you think and I apology.