Thought/Flashback/Dream

Chapter 13

She expends the next day's avoiding Elmont, he was certain of that but he couldn't blame her. In the day that he kiss her, when she wanted to talk and know why he did it, Elmont saw in her beautiful eyes the disappointment and hurt, the hope that she lost... But what she had expected? And why had he kissed? Why had he lost control? The truth was that the kiss was more emotional and physical then he thought every move she did with her lips against his felt amazing. When Elissa was kissing him, he felt even if that kiss was not her first she didn't have much experience... But she was a fast leaner and he knew it because when he break apart and she follow him and kiss him, she could control better her movements and the soft way she plead to him before he gave in was... Elmont didn't have words to describe the feeling that send through his body. But what happen was not supposed to happen and he keep remained himself of that, he was tired of remember.

Hurt when he saw her, so close... Hurt when she look at him and talk to him, in those moments he could see sadness in her. In those moments he wish that he could bring the same light and hope that he was used to see in her eyes, never before he saw that pain in her eyes. He had saw sadness in her when her mother died but he never saw the kind of pain that now was visible in her eyes, every moment he look at her his heart ache.

While he has training in the night, wielding the sword against a wooden man with straw, Elmont cursed mentally. Why was he not been able to say what he felt? He regret not telling her, regret not kiss her again when he had the chances. Regret not holding her against his body and tell that everything would be okay even if He didn't know, even if he wasn't certain of anything. Elmont knew that those thoughts were wrong; being a man of the King and she the princess but he couldn't stop wanting her, couldn't stop loving her. Her smile, her eyes and light he could see in them, her black hair, he love her determination, he could tell he love everything about her. Thinking about the way she treat him, so politic bring pain to his chest. He deserved the treatment, he deserves worse but in the end it might be the best, to keep his distance. It seems that he was distant that he ever been.

Elmont gritted his teeth and rolled his body, the sword cut the wooden man and straw jump everywhere.

"Elmont!" The captain look around and saw Crawe running to him.

"The Princess... The Princess escape" Crawe was supposed to be guarding Isabelle. Elmont closes his eyes for instants griping tight the sword.

Elissa...

"You look..."

"I searched the entire Castle and there is no sign of her" Elmont lowered his head in thought.

Elissa

"And Princess Elissa?" Crawe smile slightly, he knew where Elmont's thoughts were heading. If Isabelle wasn't in the castle then she had escaped with Elissa as in the past had occur. When one wasn't in the castle then it was expected that the other also wasn't.

"I don't know..." Crawe stop and both look in the direction were came the sound of steps and the night reveal Edwin. "But I certain that she escape, too".

Elissa, why can't I stop thinking in you? Why can't this be easier?

Elmont curse and put the sword in its sheath.

"Captain! Princess Elissa..." Edwin began but Elmont cut him.

"Escaped. You look in the castle I certain" Edwin nodded.

I love you and I can't stop... I don't want to stop.

"In one minute she was in the library in the next she had disappear"

"Library? She was supposed to be in her quarters. What she was doing there?" he pass his hand thought his hair.

I have to find a way...

"I don't know captain..."

"What she is thinking?"

No, she wasn't thinking at all, it's my entire fault... he sign and try to calm himself, but I can't go back, she needs to get away from here, from me. She needs this...

"Gather some men"

Around Elissa people shouted products and prices, the noise was thunderous. She could see people moving around like ants from one side to the other, she could find tents with bright colors and others in which the spirit was quite the opposite. Isabelle pulled Elissa by her hand while her gray eyes traveled. Both were glad to be out of the castle. It was good and refreshing to breathe the air that filled the market. As Isabelle request, Elissa had seen a small play about Erik, they ancestor and now they were back in the market.

She breathe deeply, lately she tormented herself with her own thoughts but be seeing that agitation, seeing the people moving around soothed her mind, distracting her. She truly had try to understand Elmont's attitude, after so many days from the kiss, as the time pass she put distance between them because she needed to think and that distance was becoming difficult to bear every time she saw him. Elmont didn't say anything when she asked to Edwin accompany her on some walks, Edwin was the perfect distraction. He talks to her and every time he looks at something he joke and Elissa laugh. She understand why she saw the knights laughing with the young and promising knight and was glad that he felt at ease with her showing what he was. But every time Elmont was the one to be there, Elissa wasn't able to look at him, she didn't ask again knowing he would deny her answers. She could feel Elmont's eyes following her movements and the silence that filled them began to torment her. If he kissed her only drive by desire and was sorry because he had someone important she'd rather know than continue with the silence and the coldness. It will hurt but she wanted to know.

In the moment where he kissed her was someone else in his mind? He never spoke of his life but if that was the situation why he didn't said anything? Was it because he thought he would lose the respect she had for him? Elissa knew that she shouldn't torment herself with such thoughts but couldn't master her thoughts and emotions. All the stories she heard all the questions she had about Elmont left her puzzled. He was undoubtedly one of the most admired and desirable Knights, he was the captain, he could provide comfort and everything a woman could want from him and knowing the woman desire him made her jealous thinking that some of them could have and maybe had Elmont like she couldn't. The worst thing was knowing that she wanted him but it wasn't right, she could never gave him things that other woman could, he could never be with her other than drifted by desire.

"Elissa, you could forget things for a bit and have some fun." she smile lightly to her sister.

"You right. Thinking about things will not help me..." I need to do something.

She dream with the kiss, the heat that caused and the pain was still in her when she saw Elmont. It was good to know that He would be there to protect her but hurt...

A shrill sound interrupted the course of her thoughts and when she looked in the direction of the sound, Elissa found a colorful bird that squeaked every time someone passed. Elissa stopped and approached cautiously the exotic bird and at in that moment she heard a exclamation of delight from Isabelle.

The bird's feathers had varied colors and were secured with a chain around the leg preventing to fly. Elissa reach out her hand to touch the bird but was stopped by a voice.

"Don't...his treacherous and you don't want to get hurt do you?"

The Princess looked to where the voice had come and she found a man who had a big smile in his face. His hair was brown like his eyes. With caution he approaches the two princesses and bowed slightly.

"My name is Thomas. What is the name of these two beautiful ladies?"

"Elissa and this is my sister Isabelle" a mysterious smile appeared on the man's face.

"Do you like bird's?" the question was directed to Elissa and his eyes travel to her necklace. Thomas pointed to the other birds that were inside the small tent.

Isabelle looked at Elissa and found the gray eyes of her sister and smiled. The young princess had always liked to think of the possibility of flying but soon discovered that she couldn't. Isabelle remember Elissa telling a story were she explain with sadness in her voice that she couldn't fly and in that moment she understand that Elissa had shared a long time ago her dream.

"Yes, but I have to say that Isabelle likes more. She is always in the clouds..."

"No I'm not."

"And when she was a child always like to imagine what would like to fly and often wanted to throw herself from a tower to know if she could do it" Elissa laugh when Isabelle blush.

"Yes, when I was a child I always imagined what would be like..." Isabelle laughs. "Then I told father." Elissa look at her and a silly smile appear in Isabelle's face. "I bet father was terrified at the thought..." Isabelle didn't finish a sentence.

"He actually was more terrified at the thought of you flying" Elissa said and they laugh.

"I was only six years and you were twelve, you as the older one was supposed to tell me that humans can't fly…"

"How did you know that you would not fly?" Thomas asked curious.

"People said to me that if I continue with my idea I would die so I didn't try..."

"Don't think that you are silly..." Thomas catch a little bird and let him fly, both watched the bird fly away. "How do we know we can't unless we try?" he approached Elissa and lightly touched the necklace and an image of Elmont appeared in her head. Thomas smile and looked at the grey eyes then look to Isabelle "Do you dare to fly? If you do not jump you'll never know what are you capable Princess." Elissa and Isabelle's eyes widen.

"How..."

"Don't worry about how I know" they heard the sounds of metal and horses not far from them, Isabelle grabbed Elissa and pull her.

"The knights are coming..." Elissa look to the end behind and saw some knights, she curse, they couldn't leave now. "Why has father to send a dozen guards to rescue us?"

"He wouldn't be in this situation, now. This wouldn't be happening if father let us step outside the palace without sending guards but it appears that he still think that we are fragile..." Elissa look to Thomas and he smile.

"And if father know how capable you are you didn't have to marry Roderick and you'd be allow to marry for love" Elissa smile, she didn't have that confidence in herself but she would like to be allow to find her own way if her father let her.

Elmont...

"I really don't like to make this hard to Elmont and Crawe." She didn't like to make the knights looking for them.

"Don't worry about them, Elmont understand and so does Crawe, they only worried by ours safety." Elissa look at Isabelle.

Do you dare to fly? If you do not jump you'll never know what are you capable Princess.

Could she change her situation?

Elissa look at her.

"Isabelle is something wrong?" Isabelle smile and shake her head but when Elissa look at her eyes she knew that she was hiding something. Elissa couldn't know what she was hiding, not yet. "Isabelle?"

Isabelle shook her head again and she saw Elmont.

"Elmont"

Elissa turn around and saw him with the knights cursed mentally. Elissa looked back at Isabelle who somehow was relieved to see them but why? Elissa close her eyes and breathe deeply, she didn't want to talk to him no matter the subject. The princess knew they approach increasingly and her hearth tighten knowing that he would treat her in a cold and distant way. She never expects to feel such pain...

"Edwin, warn the king that we found them and they are well." Edwin nodded and turn to the castle. Crawe look at Elmont and could see his body tense, when he reached out for Elissa, she shift uncomfortable. In the end she mount. "Hold on tight Princess" he said as Elissa put her arms around his waist. She look to Isabelle who had mount with Crawe. Elmont clucked his tongue to encourage the horse forward. Elissa's attention was overtaken by every move of his body against her from the movement of the horse below. When Elmont felt her hot breath in his neck he stay without breath for moments then she pressed her forehead against his armor as they ride back to the castle. It was a huge distraction feel her close to him, Elmont was relief that he couldn't feel her breath anymore. How much of this could he take? How much could she take? It was better, it was safer if he keep his distance even if wanted something else.

When they reach the castle and the knights left Elmont turn to Elissa.

"What were you thinking Princess? You left your room in the middle of the night deceive Edwin and I really don't know how, and then you and Isabelle disappear for what?" She never like when he call her by her title, she always love hearing her name coming from his mouth but now she didn't have the strength to correct him like she always did. Elissa open her mouth to respond but he continue not given her a chance to answer. "Make me and my knights running around like fools looking for both of you?" Elmont look hard to Elissa and when she heard is tone, hurt and anger begin to raise in her. Crawe put his hand in Elmont shoulder trying to calm him down. What was happening with him?

Why is he treating her like this?

"Elmont, it was my idea..." Isabelle try to say but Elissa shook her head.

"If it's any consolation I would have warned that I was leaving the castle IF I was allow to do it without the constant guards that follow me to wherever I go." her voice didn't match the way she felt.

"The knights are there to protect you; I am there to protect you. You could be dead! You are old enough to think properly" and when he mention her age she explode, he had no right to talk to her like the way he was talking, what was his problem? What was wrong with him?

"I'm no child and watch the way you are talking to me. I really don't understand your reaction" she raised a fingers and point in his direction. She looks deeply in his eyes and saw fear mixed with hurt and loss but she try to pretend she didn't saw those emotions, it was a lot more easier to deal with his anger then to try understand what she had just saw in his beautiful eyes. Elmont eyes slightly wide understanding the meaning of her words and the way he was talking with her. Why was he losing so easily his control when she was around? Why he didn't control his emotions and what he said? He was hurting her and that was destroying him, as he look deeply at her eyes he knew that everything bad she felt was his doing. "And it's your job to be vigilant. Don't pretend like you don't know why I leave the castle and don't pretend like you don't know why I left now... You don't have to pretend to be worried" Elissa approach him looking deeply in to his eyes. "You make very clear that you don't feel nothing more than the desire to fulfill your duty" her heart was racing and her breath was short. Her anger was leaving her to feel only the pain she had in her chest, she wanted to cry. Why was like this now? Why he had to be cold and distant to her?

"Elissa..." whisper, Isabelle's eyes travel to Elissa and Elmont. What was happening? Elmont never acts like that way. Isabelle knew the conversation they have but that wasn't reason to him to treat her like that and above all why was he denying what he felt? "It was my idea, Elmont." Elmont's head snap to her, she thought he only realize now that she was there.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry." she whisper and when she look at Elmont his eyes were full of pain she instantly regret what she said. "I'm not fragile and I'm not useless, can you understand that? Can my father understand that?" her eyes moist, the look in her eyes make Elmont look away, he wanted to embrace her and say he was sorry for the past days, for not telling her what he felt. "I want to make my choices and mistakes; I want to find my way... What have I done to receive this treatment?" a sob came from her mouth, it hurt too much... Why didn't they try to understand her?

"Elissa" he whispers as the same time he try to reach for her, she step back.

"Can you leave me alone? If you don't have anything to say just leave me and do your job..." Elissa turn around and began to run, Elmont saw her retreating form and curse.

"What are you thinking?" said Isabelle approach him. She saw the pain in Elissa's eyes and anger was in her.

"Princess..."

"Why are you hurting her?" he open his mouth but she cut him off again. "Don't bother talk Elmont, I thought you really love her but it seems that I was mistaken..." she didn't care that Crawe was there, she didn't care anything more than her sister. She was alive when everyone thought that she was dead, she came back, even if she didn't agree with the wedding she had moments when she was happy but now Isabelle didn't see her happy, she could see her smile but the light wasn't there, why was he doing that? She love him and he love her, why didn't they talk openly about those feelings? "Don't fight your feelings, I'm sure you will not regret."

He stayed silent and when Isabelle left he look at Crawe and in that moment, when his eyes locked with his friend's eyes Crawe saw the pain that he was feeling.

Don't be stupid Elmont.

"Are you blind that you don't know what she felt and you think that the best way is distancing yourself just because you are not supposed to feel the way you are felling?" Crawe smile sadly when he saw something in Elmont's eyes, he was right. Elmont was distancing himself and that hurt him. It was easier... He wanted to deal with anger but the pain he was feeling was too much, Elmont didn't know how handle it, he choose anger over the pain.

"Why can't I control what my emotions? Why I have to love her?"

"Are you trying to say that you don't have reasons to love her that you are regretting the way you feel?"

"No! I have reasons, so many reasons but IF she felt the same... we never have a relationship. You think she wants to leave in a lie? It's better if I stay away from her, I don't trust myself..."

"You already made a decision without talking with her" Crawe's voice grow stronger "You don't know what she thinks, you don't know what she felts and above all you don't give to her the answers she is looking for... Don't be stupid Elmont, I would love to hit you if I knew that the sense you lost would find his way back to your skull."

"Then do it! You don't understand"

"No, Elmont, I truly don't. You are being an idiot. Why can you grab some of the happiness you always search? That you always fight for? It is at your reach... It's been at your reach longer than you can think" and now I realize "It is you who don't understand and I'm done trying to explain it to you. Figure it out for yourself, if you do want to know find her and talk to her, only Elissa can make you understand everything that I didn't say to you. You already know what she felt; you only don't want to acknowledge how deep it is and the truth is that..."

"Crawe..."

"She loves you"

Elmont stared at his best friend for several moments as Crawe turned and leave him with his thoughts and new knowledge as he try to deny it.

A tear slip down her face as she enter the castle. Elissa was running in the direction of the study that belongs to her father, she was certain that he was there. When she approach the door she saw two guards, Elissa pass between the two knights and they didn't try to stop her like many times before, maybe it was how she look. She opened the door and close behind her, In front of her was the King; he looked up from the piece of paper in his hand to Elissa.

"Why I have to marry him? Tell me why Father?"

"Elissa where have you been?" he began when he saw who was that enter the study but stop when look at Elissa's eyes. She couldn't hold her tears, her breath speed and in the moment her father noticed her tears he approach her. Something was wrong because he never saw her crying.

"Why I have to marry Roderick?" the king ignores her question and embrace her, her sob scape her mouth.

"Elissa, what happen? Why are you crying?" She was letting others see her pain, Elissa never allow to people see her in that state. She didn't control the tears that slip down her face, it was like all the times she had suppress her pain and sadness where in that tears.

"Please Father; say the reason why I have to marry him, say why I have to be unhappy for the rest of my life?"

"It is best for you, you will understand and in the end will be happy..." she step back and shook her head.

"Happy, Father?" her eyes were red and her breath was short. "How can I be happy if I don't like him?"

"You will learn..."

"NO, I can hardly stand him..."

Sire...do you never noticed...how much Elissa disliked Lord Roderick? How couldn't bear his company?

"Elissa..."

"Why can I be allowed to choose my way... Why can't I be allowed to love?"

"You are allow to Love"

"I'm not allowed to marry for love, why? You love mother, you marry her for love why can't I? Please, Father..." The king embraces her.

"Elissa... You have so much of your mother in you..." his soft voice calmed Elissa and she took a deep breath.

"No, Isabelle is the one that looks like her..." The king smile sadly.

"And you have her spirit. I don't want to lose you, my child like I thought I did. I don't want to feel the same pain again."

"Then please father, let me be what I want to be, let me show you what am I capable of."

"Why do you insist in that Idea? The last time I allow you to do something you almost died..."

"I am person, I can think by my own, why can I rule my life?"

"You will be Queen and the last thing you will think is in your life. There will be people that will seek your and Roderick's advice. And one day you will give your heart..."

Elissa close her eyes tight and step back.

"If I love someone else? If I had given my heart to another person?" The king breathe deeply.

"Elissa, we are not discussing this again. I love you and I want the best for you and you will marry Roderick." She clenches her hands. Elissa was tired of telling the same thing, tired of hearing the same words over and over. Why her father had to be so closed when she wanted to talk to him about the engagement. Why he had to trust in Roderick?

"So sayeth the king"

I think it is the worse chapter SO far... It seems I don't think properly, I could have done worst I know but I couldn't bring myself to do it, I really don't understand why. Please, your thoughts...