Tony was finally moved out of the ICU after another two days; due to the condition of his heart and lungs they'd kept him in the intensive care unit longer than usual, but it was almost one month since the shooting, and his heart and lungs were doing as well as it was expected and even better, considering the condition Tony'd been in when he was brought in first.

And he'd finally started to talk and respond to questions clearly; the zoning out episodes had lessened in number and wouldn't last as long as before.

The only thing unusual about that particular hospital stay was Tony's behavior; Tim and Ziva hadn't referred to what had happened before the whole incident, but they'd been friendlier than usual and very considerate and nice. Once he was out of the ICU, they tried to go see Tony, every other day, trying to lift his spirit and mood by talking about the office and work, especially because a Tony with few words and no teasing had always unsettled them. But this time, Tony was in the hospital, so they did their best to keep themselves from provoking or teasing him, after all, they'd been warned against upsetting the patient in any way.

Tony in return was a true gentleman and very thankful. But he wouldn't joke about them being nice or about how they must be missing him at work. He never asked Gibbs why he was there all the time and he sure wouldn't tease his teammates to make things look normal.

He was friendly, but distant. He wouldn't start a conversation, but wouldn't end it with short answers, either. He didn't ask them how things were and how everyone was doing, except with Abby, but he made sure they knew he was grateful they were keeping him company. It was like he didn't expect them to keep coming back; like whatever had happened to change his personality had put the notion in his head that they weren't his friends anymore and shouldn't show up there so regularly, and that was why he didn't expect anything from them and would remain polite towards them.

All in all, he was talking again, but he'd still be considered quiet and if there was more than one person in the room with him, he'd keep out of the conversation altogether.

The indifference and numbness was still there, despite the utter silence being gone.

And as usual, Gibbs was the one who noticed the problem, first.

"You're going to be discharged tomorrow?" Gibbs asked as he walked into Tony's room one night.

"Yes."

Gibbs still wasn't used to those one word answers and waited a few seconds for more to come, but when none did, he spoke again, "What does your doctor say?"

A direct question deserved a direct answer.

"I'm gonna need to take it really easy for at least another two weeks and go through the physical therapy."

"When will you be able to come back to work?" Gibbs asked and silently held his breath, dreading Tony's answer.

Tony averted his eyes for a second. "That's to be determined later." He finally answered vaguely.

"Look, DiNozzo," Gibbs started and then paused and waited for Tony to look back at him and continued when Tony reluctantly turned his gaze towards him. "I need you there. We need you on the team. I've noticed you're distancing yourself from everyone. You're going to come back, aren't you?"

When Tony bit the inside of his cheek and didn't answer, Gibbs went on. "Direct question, DiNozzo."

Tony sighed. "I don't know, Gibbs, alright? I haven't decided yet, but I think it's time I changed a few things. I've recently received another job offer from DEA and this time I think maybe I do need a change of scenery."

That was what Gibbs was afraid of. They'd gone too far this time and had said things that they couldn't take back. He knew that he had to try harder but if Tony was as determined as it seemed, nobody could change his mind; the least he could do was to try to salvage his friendship and hope Tony wouldn't cut off all the bonds and run.

"I don't care if it's not like me to talk; I don't care if in the past few days I've talked more than the past ten years combined; I needed to tell you all those things and I need you to know I care. I need you to know I consider this a second chance. I thought I've lost you back then and the only thing that kept me alive was the fact that I wanted to avenge your death. I had every intention of resigning and leaving after that, because I couldn't think of NCIS without you by my side and I still think the same."

"Gibbs-" Tony took a deep breath to hide his shock and other emotions. "Thanks. But... But you understand why I can't stay, right?"

'No. No. Dammit. I don't.' Gibbs wanted to say, he wanted to shout those words, but the thing was that he actually could understand.

"It's not just about some cruel unfounded accusations. It's about not being trusted." Tony looked the older man straight in the eyes as he started his explanation. If he was going to leave, he'd present all his reasons; he'd make it clear that he had every right to leave and never look back. "How long have I worked for you, Gibbs? How long have we been a team with Ziva and Tim? And I'm still not trusted. In fact, I think I can't use the word still, as this problem is a relatively recent thing. It wasn't like this in the beginning. There was a time that you'd trust me with everything and I haven't even been with you that long. You trusted me unconditionally and I didn't need to prove myself to you over and over again and I wouldn't be threatened with losing my job whenever I did something somebody didn't like; and now it happens for doing things that are the right things to do." He sighed and pushed himself upward in his bed.

"You wanna know why I have to leave? These are the reasons. Not only have you made it clear that you have no respect for me as your SFA, you don't even give me enough respect or time you'd give a total stranger and I've had your back for 12 frigging years. And who do you think the junior agents on the team take their leads from? Of course, they'd treat me like crap when you do; of course, they wouldn't show me any respect as their teammate, let alone their immediate superior. I can't expect them to do that when they think it's alright to undermine my position because you encourage them with your own behavior. I don't even get surprised anymore when they speak ill of me behind my back or in my face; how sad it that?" He chuckled bitterly. "I'm being treated like I'm an unwanted rookie, forced to your team; one that everyone hates; I'm being called dead-weight; being kept out of the loop and out of secrets like if I knew about those things I'd ruin everything. So yes, Gibbs; I'm leaving. Because I've finally found the courage that I lost during the years of working for you. When I started at NCIS, I never thought my self-confidence and self-esteem would get this low or I would've never stayed this long."

Gibbs was completely speechless. He'd really wanted Tony to talk, but now, he wasn't sure he was ready for that much resentment in the younger man's voice; he sure wasn't ready for that much pain and hurt feelings.

Tony wasn't done, though. "After years, I've finally found the buried self-confidence and I need to leave before the last remaining of my self-esteem disappears. For years, I've fooled myself with the illusion of a home and a family that I've built for myself here. I've been asked a lot of times why I haven't left years ago; and do you know what my answer has been every damn time?" That was clearly a rhetorical question, but Tony answered it anyway. "That I couldn't leave because this was home for me; because you guys were my family. And you know what I've finally realized? That my second family didn't turn out any better than my first one; and I'm done looking for one and I'm done trying to fill a void that's supposed to be empty."

"It's not tr-"

Tony didn't let Gibbs talk. The older man wanted him to speak; he'd better keep quiet and listen. "Yes, it is. And I need to leave before I stopped caring whether I lived or died. I needed two days off and not only did you not let me explain, you all jumped to the wrong conclusion and crucified me for it and the words you guys said..." He smirked bitterly and shook his head. "I refuse to stay in a place where I'm not trusted or respected. I've already stayed way too long by the look of it. If people here can't have faith in me for the seasoned agent that I am, then I'll go somewhere that they can."

"I've never trusted anybody the way I trust you. Never." Gibbs' tone was sincere, but somehow, he knew what he was saying was too little too late.

"It's better for everyone; really." Tony went on, like he hadn't heard Gibbs' words. "If I go, you can have the perfect team that you trust; the perfect people who are skilled and can do no wrong." His tone was bitter again and just a tad sarcastic. "You say you trust me more than anyone else in the world;" So he'd heard Gibbs' words, "Guess what, actions speak louder than words."

Gibbs felt like he'd been punched in the gut. For the first time in many years, he felt defeated and for the first time in ages, he felt like he'd lost a huge part of himself and this time he'd been the one pushing that part away, not realizing what he had been bringing upon himself.

Not only had he lost the trust of the man who meant so much to him, he also had managed to ruin another family for him. He'd apparently proved that, after all, he wasn't much better than Tony's real father and he'd spent years silently chastising that man for not seeing the best thing in his life. Seemed like he himself wasn't that different. He'd made the same mistake; he'd overlooked the same man who'd been overlooked his whole life by the most important people around him. Gibbs could say for sure that at that moment, nobody was angrier with him than he was with himself.

He needed to clear his head; this was getting too much for him; so he stood up from his seat and left the room without a single word.

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... TBC ...

A/N: So, what do you think now?!

Thanks for your support, every one. :)

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All mistakes are mine.

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