Chapter 4: Heartless

They had finally come. She felt it when her friends entered Hueco Mundo. Their reiatsu was easy enough to detect. She couldn't stop thinking, over and over again in her mind, that they were finally here to rescue her.

She was going home. Back to her world of color, and sounds, and smiling faces full of love. Back to her friends and her school, in a world she had known and loved all her life.

She was going to be free.

And it terrified her.

When Ulquiorra came in with her lunch, she didn't say anything. She just looked up at him from where she sat on the couch, her eyes glassy, and waited for him to bring her the meal.

She almost cried when he placed the tray in her lap without a word, and she looked down to find that her bread was topped with bean paste, the pudding green with wasabi and topped with golden honey, and her apples heavily peppered and covered with a slight bit of mustard.

"You are upset." He noted.

She nodded.

"Are you realizing how foolish it was of them to come for you?"

She flinched.

"You do realize that, do you not? Your so called nakama have entered Hueco Mundo, and are on their way here as we speak."

She said nothing, instead choosing to stare at her food.

"Do you feel it?"

She was about to ask him what, when she did feel it. Ichigo Kurosaki had already engaged in battle, if his reiatsu was something to go off of.

"Kurosaki-kun…" She muttered. Without realizing it, she spoke her thoughts out loud. "What if he's hurt…?" She couldn't bear to think of her friends without her. If she was not there to heal their wounds, who knew what could happen? She hated that they were risking it on her.

"Then he will die." Ulquiorra quipped, answering her question.

She looked up at him, hurt, and stared.

"What would you have me say?" He asked. "'Don't worry, I'm sure he's still alive'? Ridiculous. I am not here to comfort you. I don't understand why you are so fixated on life and death. At any rate, your friends will soon be annihilated. So what if that's one step closer? They should have seen this coming from the start. If they couldn't see it coming, the fault lies in their own foolishness. Laughing them off as a group of idiots would be sufficient. Why can't you do that? If it were me, and my friends entered Hueco Mundo without first gauging their strength, I'd be infuriated by their stupidity."

She wasn't sure what happened. He had been so close. So, so close to finding his heart. He had almost done it. And now he was back to being the hateful man that she had known in the very beginning. She couldn't help how angry she got in that moment. How could he? How could he just let it all go? And what was worse, now he was trying to crush her spirit as well. It made her more infuriated than she had ever been in her life.

She wasn't sure when she moved forward to slap him. He may have taunted her some more, and she may have answer. She just didn't know. But suddenly her hand was stinging, his head was turned to the side, and there were tears streaming down her face.

He looked so… surprised.

Too late, she pulled her hand back, sitting on the couch and pulling the food tray back onto her lap as if she could restore the civil atmosphere. "I-"

He turned away from her, suddenly all frost and despair again. "Eat." He said simply. "Or I will be forced to take unnecessary measures to sustain your weak human life force." He started to walk away then, heading for the door.

He had only gotten so far when she said, "Wait." He paused, not looking back, as he did as she asked. "I'm… I'm so sorry."

He didn't answer. He didn't even turn to look at her. Instead, as soon as she got the words out, he continued towards the door. His demeanor screamed it all- Foolish.

She hurriedly put her food on the couch cushion beside her, standing in a flurry of white skirts. "Please." She said whimpered, her eyes focused on the back of his head. "Please… just… I…"

"If you have something to say, then do so."

She took in a breath of air. "I'm just… I'm just…" She sighed. "I'm sorry. I didn't-"

"You are apologizing. Why?"

"It's just… I…" Her voice broke. "I didn't want this to happen!" She finally managed out, her lips trembling. "I didn't mean for this to… for it to happen this way… I just… I don't… I…"

"You are making no sense, onna."

She bit her bottom lip. "… Can you even bare to look at me?"

He turned his head slightly, regarding her coolly from the corner of his eye in answer.

"I…" But she couldn't finish. How could she? She, herself, wasn't even sure what she was trying to say.

"Your foolish human emotions make you incomprehensible in speech. Perhaps your so-called 'heart' is more a burden than you realize."

She didn't answer. She wasn't really sure how.

And so she watched, helplessly, as he turned his sight away from her and strode from the room, closing the door securely behind him.

"I don't want this." She whispered to the closed door, wiping tears from her face even as more continued to fall. "The hole means nothing. You have a heart… you just don't know it yet."