Thought/Flashback/Dream

Chapter 24

He needed to drown his sorrow and pain so the first bottle went down quickly, too quickly but Elmont still could hear her, her voice, her laugh, her moans… Filling his head and he wanted to forget everything about her. Then there was a second bottle, but the second he took his time drinking the liquid slowly, to appreciate the quality of the wine, only to just get his mind off her, but it was too difficult, especially when Crawe was looking at him, concern all over his face. But Elmont didn't care that his comrade and friend could see him broke and despaired. In fact, Crawe had seen him in his worst and best.

The time passed, slowly to him, he did not know how much wine he had, and he did not care… Elmont slammed the half-empty glass bottle of wine down on the table sloppily and leaned back into his chair after he had taken a sip of the warm red liquid.

The door of the tavern opened and closed and he looked up from his glass, and there she was, smiling at him, tempting him.

"You should stop drinking, Elmont" Crawe said again and Elmont blinked and the Princess of Albion was gone. Forever, his mind told him but he did not want to believe. "You have…"

"Don't be ridiculous. I don't care… Not now" Elmont glanced around the room in search of her but she wasn't there "I just want to forget…" The voice of Elmont was so broken that Crawe felt a pang of pain in his chest, it hurt to see his friend in that state. Crawe did not know what to do to help him.

"Elmont…"

"I never thought it could hurt so much" Elmont looked to the bottle and shook his head. Then he got up from where he sat, grabbing the bottle of wine by its neck on the process and then filled Crawe's empty glass. "Here… Drink"

"Elmont…"

"Shhh… Just Drink" Elmont did not care. He did not want to think, he did not want to feel, he just wanted to drink and forget. He let his unsteady head slumped into his hands as a bottle clinked to the floor beside him, a woman passed him followed by a man, grinning like an idiot with a bottle in his hand but he didn't care, the pain was too much for him.

Crawe rested his hand in his shoulder and he looked up.

"Don't do this…" Crawe, his companion, his friend tried to stop him when he reached for the glass but he could not, even drunk, Elmont was quicker. And he shouldn't but Crawe was impressed.

"Why didn't I listen to Lanna?" Elmont refilled his glass.

"I don't follow…"

Why is he talking about Lanna?

"She was right, right all along…"

"What did she tell you?"

"She would hurt me and…" Elmont shook his head again, "It doesn't matter"

He got up from where he sat, and grabbed the bottle and turned, slowly approaching the other end of the tavern. The ache on his heart worsening when Elmont remembered finding her in his room, knelt before the fireplace with just a robe in her. The sight of her beautiful body before his when she had made her way through him, her warm lips against his and her hands caressing his body, had been too much to him and he had tried to resist her… He had felt her around him, her body aching for his touch as his lips descend upon her neck.

Elmont

It did not felt wrong when he felt her relaxing against him and he had begun to move against her as she gasped for pleasure. No, it felt right when she moan his name or when her mails had dug in his back. It felt right…

"Elmont!"

He made a face of discomfort when he crouched down in front of the armchair that was before the fireplace. Glancing at the ceiling, he turned over the situation in his mind one more time.

"She played with me, played with my feelings…" he whispered knowing Crawe had followed him. "What did it go wrong? It's my entire fault"

"Don't say that; don't even think about it, Elmont. You aren't the problem…" Elmont slipped the liquid. "Right now you aren't thinking, you aren't considering each possibilities"

"Like what? That she only wanted to sleep with me and betray her father and fiancée just to spite them. That I was only…"

"Don't complete that sentence, for your sake Elmont, don't think like that. You are only hurt, don't say and do things that lately you will regret"

"You're probably right"

"Probably?" Elissa arched her eyebrow, Elmont opened one of his eyes and looked at her with a slightly smile in his lips.

"Probably" he cupped her face and she lowered her head, her lips brushing against him, he broke the distance and kissed her.

Elmont signed and closed his eyes leaning his hand against the armchair with a soft thump.

When he had first saw her, walking around in the distance as he train in the yard with his comrades, he had been amazed by her, the way she held herself, how her hair was lullabied by the breeze and her sweet smile… her eyes, her beautiful and kind eyes, he could always tell what she was thinking… Now it was different.

"I want to hate her…"

"Elmont…"

You always listen to me,

Elmont shook his head, trying to push away her voice.

You always try to find what I wanted and what I thought was right,

"Stop" Crawe said. "Stop drinking, stop punishing yourself… It's better if you sleep and in the morning you will think clearly… But with an awful headache"

You have always protected me

You never treat me like a tool...

When he had talk to her, she looked different and Elmont thought he had saw in her eyes guilt, regret, fear and pain, she looked almost broken and he had never saw that in her eyes but it was gone so quickly, too quickly for him to be sure. He remembered when he had enter in the library where Elissa was with Keira.

When he had knocked at the door and slowly opened, he had seen her… He had only be there searching for Keira but when he saw her… He had to talk to her since she had avoided him in the past week or so, since they had talk the last, when she had ended everything. He was done, expecting her to come around and talk to him and he couldn't wait any longer.

Slowly, Elmont opened the door and saw Keira talking with Elissa. His heart began to pound painfully against his armour. He had to remember himself why he was there in the first place. He slightly bowed before saying. "Keira, you are needed in the kitchen" Keira, the middle age woman nodded and before she left the room, she embrace the Princess.

Keira passed him and said something he didn't heard, he was only looking at her, her head down and her hands in her lap avoiding him, again. Keira left the door open; Elissa raised her eyes to look at the Captain, praying that he had turn around and leave but he found his eyes watching her. She collected herself and tried to act serene.

"Captain. How have you been?" her voice distant and Elmont took a deep breath to calm himself, realizing it would be difficult to talk to her.

"As you can see, Princess. I'm perfectly well." He said. Elissa swallow hard, she could see his messy hair tousled in every direction as if he had run his fingers over it, and Elissa easily could spot dark circles under his eyes as the beard he was starting to grow along his strong jaw. She rose from where she sat, it was hard enough living knowing she had cause him pain but she couldn't see and live with the changes he had caused him, Elissa started to walk to the door but she was surprised to see him slammed the door.

"What are you doing?" Panic raised in her voice and he closed his eyes.

She is afraid of him, he thought.

"We need to talk… I think… You own me an explanation," Elissa breathed deeply, her chest raising and felling quickly.

"I don't own you a thing, Captain" A flash of fury and pain passed through his eyes, and then his gaze softened, making Elissa look away.

"Why are you doing this… Please, I deserve to know why" Elissa was battling with herself to regain control over her emotions, she couldn't look into his eyes and see the pain and love he still felt for her, even after she had hurt him, she couldn't go back. Her fingers moved over to her necklace, the same necklace he had given to her. What could she say to him to keep him from coming back to her, coming back for questions? What could she say to make him stop loving her?

Elmont approached her, lifting her face, making her look at him. His hand caressing her face softly, slowly, and full of love. Elissa sighed, closing her eyes tight as tears threaten to fall down her face. She couldn't tell him.

"Please…" her voice quiet, hitting a pleading note for him to let her go.

Her mind was screaming to get away from him as her body and heart plead and despaired to fell his touch and love, to get closer to him.

Please.

How much emotional pain could she endure? Or Elmont?

"Tell me you don't love me…"

"I…"

"Tell me"

Why did he want to hear that she didn't love him? She closed her eyes tight, she couldn't tell him such thing, she loved him and denying that fact would kill her, would make him suffer. Her fingers move over the necklace, again, a sense of comfort washed over her, it blanked the doubt and fear she had in her soul and gave to her enough peace to take a deep breath and remind herself again, of his treat.

Elmont's lips brushing against hers were like a whisper of promises and before he had time to kiss her, Elissa moved away from him. The flash of pain in his eyes was almost too much to her but she keep her gaze in him.

It would kill her, she knew but she had to keep him away from her, to protect him, to make him stop loving her.

To end all.

Elissa cleaned her face of all emotions before she spoke. Elmont saw the change in her almost instantly.

"What do you think you are doing, Captain?" Elissa stood before him straight, she toss her long and soft black hair behind her shoulders, her eyes narrowed. Elmont tried to hide his surprised, he tried but he had failed, he had felt the anger and disgust in every word that slip from her mouth.

He was realizing that she was slipping away from him, as he stared at her, more and more he had the feeling she was already out of is grasp and he could never reach her. Every step he took to her, Elissa gave several away from him.

Elmont felt despair rising in him with every breath he took.

"Elissa, it's only us here. Talk to me!" Elissa grin and he didn't like what he saw in her eyes, in fact he could see anything at all. He couldn't read her and that was the most terrifying fact he had to is covered. He had always known what she felt, what she was feeling by only looking in her eyes. And he had read her emotions as he had approached her but know, as he stared at her, he couldn't figure her out. For the first time he couldn't know what she was feeling.

"Don't be ridiculous Captain" Elmont saw her trying to avoid his gaze. "We are fooling ourselves. There is no future for us together; I am the Princess and this sly and stupid romance as to end."

"Romance? I love you!"

"But I don't love you" the pain that was showed in his face was agonizing. His eyes widened at her words.

"If this is about Roderick…"

"No, but he is my husband to be, you don't have nothing Elmont. You should go to Lanna, if I recall she was interest in you… I did saw you two kissing…"

"I thought you had understand that it was nothing and she was the one kissing me. And I don't want her, I want you!" he approached her but Elissa shook her head.

"I was tempted, I will admit it, a man as handsome as you to share at least one time my bed, I had to know if the rumours were true. Besides, you had what you always wanted…"

"What are you saying?"

"Me." He stare at her "Don't worry."

"What you trying to say?" he didn't believe in her, he couldn't…

"It was just a game, Elmont. But It's every bit true what they say about you, you know?" Elmont swallow hard, his heart beating wildly in his chest as he stare at her.

"And what they say about me?"

"Passionate, unforgettable…" he stop her by cupping her cheek in his hand.

"Stop… What you are saying… You can't be serious, Elissa"

"I can't risk anything for you; I have far much to lose."

"I don't believe in you"

"You should Captain… I don't Love you" he gritted his teeth as he stared at her; he saw her beautiful grey eyes dull of emotion staring at him.

"Thank you… For helping me see things more clearly. Now you show your true colours, Princess. I promise that I will never do the same mistake." As he turns away, he never heard the soft sob that came out of her mouth, nor did he see her body falling on the hard floor.

Crawe pulled him from his thoughts and, Elmont realizes his cheek pressed against Crawe's shoulder, as his friend tries to help him stand, then when he raises his spinning head, he notices they are walking. His eyes closed and Elmont lets the darkness consume him.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I know that I didn't update for so long and now this chapter?! Well, don't blame me for their separation, BLAME RODERICK! He is the one to blame, in fact he threaten to kill Elmont. Anyway, in this chapter, I wanted to show how much Elmont was hurt, how much Elissa had hurt him, saying exactly what he had fear, always… That she was only playing with him and had never loved him. She regrets every word she said to him but things can change… Elissa only was to find a way and let's hope she finds…. Please reviews and let me know what your thoughts are.