A wolf can still bite if you cut its head off. –Princess Monoke

Chapter 18

My pact is falling apart, just when it started to feel whole. Alisa lays bed written in the hospital while Sakuya and Soma lock themselves away. All that's left is me and Kota, we have to stay strong for the others. This is our pact, as broken as it is it's still ours, we'll do everything in our power to mend it.

With Soma and Sakuya gone, only appearing for Search Missions, I take on the side missions alone. An easy task but very heartbreaking with every Fallen Ogretail I take down. It feels like I'm killing my mother with my own hands and there's no Lindow- or anyone else for that matter- to comfort me. I never realized how much I relied on Lindow for support, now that he's gone there's no one else to turn to. Perhaps I was using him as a crutch, not truly facing my problems. Well from now on I have to stand on my own feet, if not only for me but for the sake of my pact.

I tried checking in on Alisa this morning but some doctor refuses to let me in, saying Alisa wouldn't want me to see her in such a condition. All I can hear from the Sick Bay is her cries of confusion. She kept crying out random things like 'I'm sorry I didn't mean it,' 'No your wrong it wasn't my fault,' and 'leave me alone you should have just left me alone.' Well I have another Search Mission with the others; I'll try to visit her again this afternoon. Perhaps she'll have cooled down by then.

. . .

Finally, they've let me in the Sick Bay to visit her. She seems to be in a deep sleep, so at most I can be a presence to keep her company.

"It's no use trying to talk. I've receive some every effective tranquilizers. She won't regain consciousness anytime soon." Ah, the doctor from before.

Maybe she won't be able to hear me, but she should be able to feel me here. I'll just hold her hand for moral support. But as I touched her hand I had glances of her memories. I saw terrified people, she had an encounter with the Great Beast King, why were there photos of Lindow? Did I… did I just Resonate with her? But how can this be? I've never been able to Resonate with humans before. I've tried with the others, but they didn't respond. Well it appears it reached her because she was waking up.

"What? Where am I? Why am I…" This seemed to shock the doctor.

"She actually regained consciousness! Impossible! E-excuse me." And then he stormed off.

"Just now… you…" Then she fell back to sleep.

Something is afoot here. The doctor didn't sound shocked in a good way, it was as if he didn't want her to wake up. Also… I actually Resonated with a person. Bringing my hand close to face, I examine it to see if it was really mine. Prehaps… it has something to do with our similar New-Type Oracle Cells inside us. Either way her memories left many questionable holes that I'd need to do some digging into in my own way. At least I have some outside help I can call upon tomorrow.

. . .

Before going on our Search Mission, Tsubaki called us all together for a meeting. I hope it's quick, because time is of the essence.

"I'm changing this mission to 'eradicate all Aragami in the Vicinity'." Wait, what?! That's not what I meant by making it quick.

"As for Alisa, after further test she's on the road to recovery. But as she's in the hospital, she won't be seeing active combat for a while. Lastly… as of today, God Eater Lindow, is designated as Missing in Action/Discharged. That is all." I could hear the silent pain in her voice, it must've been really been eating at her to have to say those orders.

"How could that be? We haven't even found his armlet or God Arc," Sakuya said in disbelief.

"It's a decision from the top. Also we confirmed that the beacon and biometric signal from the armlet has vanished. Now that attacks from unidentified Aragami has intensified we cannot afford to search for someone who may or may not be alive." Then she was gone, Soma following suit. Sakuya was starting to break down at the news.

"Listen! Don't you think it's crazy that they give up the search so soon." Yeah, actually Sakuya I do. It's almost as if someone wanted Lindow gone with how quick they've stopped the search. "We even know which Aragami attacked and where! So why…?" Then she stopped her rant, trying to compose herself. "No… I'm sorry… I shouldn't be lashing out at you. I'm gonna try cooling off for a while… Don't worry. I'll be back on duty on time." With that she left crying. Kota and I watched her leave with worry.

"Sakuya sure seems upset, doesn't she?" Then he looked at me. "I think you and the others did a good job… But… what the heck's up with Alisa all of a sudden? Look, your both New-Types… so maybe you should stay by her side."

"Consider it done."

"Okay, I'm going to make sure Sakuya's alright." And with that he ran off too.

. . .

The mission was a wreck, Sakuya was a mess and Soma was angrier than usual. During the whole mission I Resonated to the farthest of my ability, hoping my brothers were in the area. All it did was draw the nearby Aragami toward me making the mission go by quicker. When the last Aragami fell, I finally got a response back.

"Okami we're here." Kage! Finally, thank goodness.

"Kage! Shiro! Meet me in the church." I was about to run to the church when something grabbed my arm and roughly pulled me back.

"We're the hell are you going?" The anger practically leaked in Soma's voice.

"I have to go." Poor thing must still be on guard after what happened to Lindow, he barely let me or anyone else move out of his sight during the whole mission.

"What's so important that you have to rush off?!" He must have been upset about the Search Mission being canceled too because he was getting more angry about this than necessary.

"I have to go to the bathroom… don't follow." I didn't mean to lie to him but it was the only way to get him to let go. Which he did, also turning his head away with a blush.

"You've got three minutes, if you're not back by then I'm coming after you."

"Understood." I ran off as fast as I could. Reaching the church in record time, Kage and Shiro were waiting inside for me.

"What is it Okami?" Kage asked me. "What has made you so upset?"

"Who dares to trouble my sister?" Shiro added in. "Do I have to bite someone's head off?"

"There has been a betrayal to the pact. Someone wanted one of my members dead, the one called Lindow. They refuse to let us search for him; I need you two to keep an eye out for me."

"Yes, he still lives. His smell leaves the building, but it's being covered by another. You probably want us to bring him back once we find him I assume?" Kage asked.

"No, it's dangerous back at the Den." With the Resonance I showed them the actions of that day. "That was no accident, someone wanted him dead. I just want you to keep an eye out for him and keep me posted by Resonance; we must speak of this to no one."

"I guess we don't know who to trust and we don't want to give the pact false hope," commented Shiro. "Very well, consider it done sis."

"Thank you and for the love of God," with that I ran up to them and embraced them both. "Please be careful. The Aragami in the area have been getting stronger. If I ever lost you two I don't… I don't know what I'd do. I might slip into madness."

"Sis…"

"You needn't worry sister," assured Kage. "We'll keep in touch and tell you what we know."

With that I left to head back to the others. It's time to pay Alisa a visit.

. . .

She was still asleep when I came in. Studying my hand one more time, last time I use the Resonance with her I flinched away in shock only getting skip-bits of memories. I suppose if I hold on longer I'll get the full story. Well here goes nothing.

There were these people again; she called them her mother and father. They were playing when the Great Beast King came and devoured them. So he has taken people precious to her too. Then the memory flashed to her becoming a Gods Eater with the Director telling her to rise above her grief. Then it skipped to that doctor… He took advantage of her grief and weakened mind… He made her think Lindow was the enemy. But why? What could he gain from getting rid of Lindow? Since he saw the first time I used the Resonance he'll probably never show his face with me around so I can't interrogate him myself, damn it! Oh she's waking up again.

"What? What was that?" She sat up and looked at me. "Just now, I felt your emotions flowing into my mind… could it be… that it happened to you, too." I nodded at her.

"Yes, it's called 'Resonance' it's when we share our thoughts or memory. But do you mind telling me the meaning of what I saw." Her shock turned into sadness.

"I thought I'd forgotten all about that day… until right now… I thought I play a trick on my parents… and went to hide in a nearby building during a game of hide-and-seek. Ready or not, here we come… And then… suddenly they were running and shouting, 'Aragami! It's and Aragami!'" She gripped her head as is in pain. "I should've rush out then… but I was so scared I couldn't move. Daddy and Mommy… came to look for me… but… I heard a terrible growling… and then… Right before my eyes!"

She cried out for the last part, I held her hand for support, nodding for her to go on when she was ready.

"If only I realized… if I only ran out sooner… Neither of them would've… it's all my fault." I shook my head.

"No, don't think that. Never think that. It's not your fault; there was nothing you could've done." I let go of her hand as she continued.

"That's why… when they told me I was being considered for a 'New-Type God Eater.' I thought 'now I can get revenge for my parents!' Yes…that Aragami… the one that murdered my parents!" She cried out, shaking while holding her head, as a massive headache took over her. I stood up, taking away her hand from her head and did what I did for Shiro when he would have nightmares, I held her to chase the bad thoughts away. She cried in my arms. "I'm sorry… I don't even know myself what's going on…"

I said nothing, she was finally recovering she didn't need more on her plate. We sat in calming silence until she spoke again.

"Thank you. It was you who held my hand like this too the other day, wasn't it? Those warm emotions… I could feel them flow into me. I saw everything… your brothers… your mother. I… I'm sorry about what I said to you at the Mesh Hall awhile back. I judged you without knowing." I was touched almost to tears.

"I knew that from the start and held nothing against you. But thank you. It means so much to hear you say that."

"I was wrong. Your mother… she was beautiful."

. . .

Sakuya was given time off to recover from grief, which was good since she was destroying herself from lack of sleep. But that doesn't mean I shouldn't check in on her. Her door was unlocked so I let myself in. She jumped in fear at my entrance but relaxed when she realized it was me. What was she doing?

"Oh, it's you… is something the matter?"

"No, I just wanted to check in to see how you were doing." We sat on her coach and I gave her an update on what was going on.

"I see, Alisa's… thanks for letting me know. But really, to think you can communicate just by touching… I wonder if that's a power you New-Types share. Please, stay by her side for a while will you."

"Of course… well I better check on Soma. It's been a while since I've seen him too."

"Alright, take care."

. . .

There was something off about that day. None of the pieces were adding up and the rest was covered up with secrets. That situation wasn't natural, almost as if something lured those Aragami there. Even Okami said she smelt something in the air. I have a feeling that Bastard has something to do with it. But…"damn it, not enough information…"

"Information for what?" I turned to the door surprised to see Okami had invaded my domain.

"What are you doing here?" She didn't answer but looked around my room. "What?!"

"Is this what they call a 'rebellious teenager's room'?"

"Why are you here?"

"Checking up on you. I haven't seen you in a while… so how've you been."

"None of your business… Hey… why have you been taking mission on your own?"

"Everyone has their plate full; I don't want to bother them with something I can handle myself. Don't worry, I know my limits… I ask for help with the stronger Aragami."

"That's not the point here!"

"Then what is?" Why couldn't she understand she was drawing too much attention to herself? If the higher ups notice her, especially that Bastard, they'll take interest in her skills and try to make her their personal lap dog. I can't protect her from them if she keeps doing these kind of stunts.

"Nothing, just… rely on your pact more." I tried talking to her in her own terms. Hopefully it'll get through to her.

"Same goes for you… my friend." That damn smile keeps making my blood rush. She needs to get out of my room now. Or out of those clothe- she needs to get out now.

"Would you get out, barging into a man's room is very bad news for a young lady."

"Why?"

"Just get out!"

"Okay, okay. I'll see you around." She says lifting her hands in surrender as she left. Crap, what was happening to me?

. . .

Coming from a mission, I paid Alisa a visit. Sakuya came in today; she wanted to know what happened that day. Alisa told her everything to the best of her abilities but started to cry afterwards. Sakuya thanked her and left with the promise of visiting again. That damn doctor again! He better pray I never find him.

"What… should I do?" I held her hand.

"You should be yourself, not what someone else made. Protect what you love with your own power not someone else's."

. . .

I was talking with Kota this morning when to our surprise Alisa came out of the elevator. She was coming toward us like a kicked puppy.

"As of today, I'll be returning to the unit. Once again, I look forward to working with you."

"When will you be resuming actual combat?" Kota asked without judgment.

"That… hasn't been decided yet."

"I see…"

Then some God Eaters from another pact group began to openly mock her. How dare they behave such a way toward a fellow member, such behavior made the pact weak in a whole. I growled at them and they ran off.

"Why don't you laugh too? Go ahead…" She was so vulnerable right now, but at least it was truly her.

"Don't insult us, such behavior is beneath us."

"We're not going to laugh at you." What Kota said was good until he tried to make small talk. "Hey, um… never mind that. You know that new type Vajra that attacked Lindow?" Alisa flinched at this and Kota tried to recover his blunder.

"Seems like the Europe branch was able to spot it too… Since we've been encountering more and more new types lately, I've been thinking it may be a sign of something to come, you know?" After getting Alisa all gloomy he taps my shoulder and gives the sorry sign with his hands as if he was tapping out. "Sorry, take it from here." And he left… I can't believe he left me to clean up this mess.

"I have a favor to ask of you." Alisa said trying to get my attention again; when she did she shied away again. "Um…uh… could you please show me the proper way to fight again? I want to protect someone dear to me… this time, of my own free will!"

"Of course," I nod then place a hand gently on her face. "I will teach you the way of the she wolf. When we're done you will be the symbol of beauty and strength."

And so I accompanied her for mission after mission that day. At first she was shy in combat, staying close to me barely doing anything, just watching me as I fought. The next mission she came out of her shell a little, getting more involved in the battle, still watching how I fought. The next battle was when she finally bloomed. She took action in battle while still looking after her pack (me) with team-bullets and recovery bullets. It wasn't someone else's power or a copy of mine, it was hers… and it was truly beautiful.

When she finally had enough she thanked me by giving me the partner shield to hers. Such a meaningful gift could not be taken lightly, this was a sign she truly accepted me in her pact. I'd be sure to take care of it. But to my misfortune, Kanon heard about our training and wanted to do a little training with me too. Thinking this would be a good chance for her to work on her shots and teamwork, at the cost of my health, I tiredly agreed.

. . .

Dragging my sore body to the Entrance Floor where my whole pack had been summoned. Ugh, why did I even agree to train Kanon? She didn't even listen as she kept shooting with wild abandonment. She got angry at me for getting in her way when she moved behind me, now I'm the one in pain this morning. I think she did more damage than the Aragami.

. . .

Those bastards they gave me Lindow's position, even going as far as giving me his room. Have they no shame, or since of honor for that matter? It disgusted me that they think I can replace Lindow, even temporarily. I can't do this, not in good conscious. But they already forced me into Lindow's room, I cannot avoid this as much as I can't stop Kota from watching Burgurally. But what was this stuff about 'Special Mission' that the Director was talking about?

"Well how are you doing?" Tsubaki asked catching me by the elevator. "Right, you don't have to tell me." She touched my face with a gentleness that she rarely showed anyone on duty. "I can tell by looking at your face. You got that look of panic… just like Lindow had when he first became a leader. First thing you need to do is take a deep breath… no one is expecting you to do everything on your own. Use your comrades; use yourself… that's the key to breeding trust. I'm sure you'll make a fine leader."

Then she was back to her regular self again. "Now get back to work! I'll be counting on you."

She's right it's no longer about just me; I had a responsibility to my pact now. I had to protect them. They needed a leader and I couldn't leave them hanging. I would do this, for them… at least until Lindow comes home.