A/N: Thank you for the sweet love...I really appreciate it. I promise that I am taking excellent care of me...well...for the most part. I defer to my love to do the rest ;)

In the meantime, lets play distract A. ;)

Enjoy ;)~

Blinding (Florence + The Machine)

"Mmm...fuck...oh my Gaaaaaa...San...fuck...baby slow down."

I shook my head and readjusted my feet as I threw the first punch.

Being back in San Francisco should have meant returning to a normal life.

A return to hot sex, hard work and working on my music.

But things were different...even sex.

"Why?"

"Britt's going to hear us."

"So...not like she hasn't heard me before."

"Please?"

I landed my fists against the bag.

1, 2.

Jumping back, I readjusted my feet and took short breaths.

Then I hit it again.

1, 2...1, 2...1, 2...1...

I couldn't see.

Shit.

Fucking tears.

Fucking Brittany.

Fucking life!

Thinking of how I wasn't in the mood to continue to fuck Quinn

Or how I had missed my final the day before because I was dropping Britt at outpatient rehab

Thinking of how I had lost my best friend to alcohol and it was MY fucking fault.

"San?"

I didn't move.

Not even she could fix this.

Fix me.

"San? Please...come home."

I shook my head and readjusted my feet.

The 24 hour gym had been my outlet.

Where I released my frustrations, sexual and otherwise...

She had known where to look and that was my fault.

I couldn't run from her.

Not since the first time, had I actually run.

I had made that promise to not run and I stuck to it.

Now though...as I assault the punching bag with every ounce of energy in my small frame, I wish that maybe I hadn't come here.

Maybe a bar would have been better but then...I thought of B...of Nicky being torn from her arms when Derek's sister showed up at the hotel.

I couldn't be that.

Be her.

Shit...I didn't even want her to be this way.

It felt like I was dying inside.

And she was killing me.

Sometimes I forget that Quinn was a cheerleader...crazy right?

I always forget just how strong she was as Sue's Cheerio captain...of course that is usually until she tops me in some way.

I was being stubborn...not wanting to go home because I knew that I would have to deal with Britt.

Right now she was at rehab but she would be home before the night was over and I would have to be her mother.

Question her...ask how it was going...what she did...how she felt.

I had to feel with her.

Cry with her.

And then...we would talk about Nicky or Derek or dancing.

It had been like this...for three weeks and I was exhausted.

That's what I told myself as I was lifted clear off the floor and fucking carried out to the street.

That means that she had to carry me down a flight of stairs!

I still had my gloves on as she forced me into the car.

A fact, I'm sure that she was grateful for as I unleashed my fury on her dashboard.

"Are you finished?" She finally said after watching me beat on her car for longer than I like to admit.

I sat there, panting as I watched the traffic pass by.

Finally, I felt my adrenaline slow down and I rested my head back and just let the tears come.

"I..." The words wouldn't come.

She was listening and I was completely at a loss for words.

I looked into her beautiful eyes and watched as she smiled.

"Take your time, my love."

"I..." She was nodding and rubbing the tears from my cheeks.

"Yea?"

"This...is..." I had tried another approach but still the words were stuck...

And then her phone started ringing.

"I don't have to answer that." She said without looking away.

But she did.

"You do." I said as I turned my face away from her.

I didn't want to cry anymore.

Nothing changes.

Everything is still fucked up and so I just pushed back the pain and focused on taking my gloves off.

Quinn sighed and then quietly answered the phone.

No matter how long Quinn and I are together...Britt will always know me better.

I hated it...but its just one of those facts.

Britt knew me intimately as I was finding out who I was...while Quinn had her own issues back then.

And so when Quinn was suddenly silent, I looked up and could see that she was staring at me wide-eyed.

Something had happened.

And she hadn't called me to fix it.

I wanted to run for the hills...which, if you have seen San Francisco is pretty ironic.

But then Quinn had my complete attention.

"Where are you?" She said with a twisted up face. "Stay there...I swear to God, Brittany...you better not fucking move."

I was in shock.

Quinn had just used her precious Lord's name in vain and was cursing at Brittany Pierce...well Brittany Castellanos...maybe she wouldn't curse at Brittany Pierce.

That had been how I had been defining the two different versions of Britt that I was seeing these days.

There was my dancing ball of sunshine, Brittany Pierce and then there was the alcoholic, jaded Brittany Castellanos.

And right now, from the way that Quinn was breaking traffic laws...I was pretty sure who she had been talking to.

"She drunk?" I asked after Quinn came to a stop outside of a bar.

Quinn looked at me and then she turned to the bar.

"Stay here."

Relief.

That was how I felt knowing that Quinn was going to take care of this.

I was falling apart at the seams and she was stepping in.

It was what I needed more than anything.

When Quinn walked to the car with Brittany basically stumbling against her, I was in the driver's seat.

She smiled at me and then slid into the backseat with our drunken best friend.

"Sssssannnnnyyyyy!" Britt yelled as Quinn buckled her into the car.

I didn't respond.

Shit, I didn't even look back at her.

I couldn't because the rage that I felt would have caused me to explode again.

My anger was getting close to exploding again and I couldn't go there again.

And then I felt a kiss on my bare shoulder.

Immediately, I relaxed.

The spell was broken and I was able to focus.

Well...focus enough to get us back home in one piece.

Quinn had convinced Brittany to take part in an outpatient rehab program.

It was an all day thing and then at night you could go home.

The program had been created for parents and people who couldn't afford to not work.

Derek was paying for this though.

Rachel had been right about him being a good guy.

He loved Britt and he wanted the best for his son's mother.

I had talked to him for two hours and he explained exactly how much he loved her and how much he didn't want a divorce.

How he wanted to do right by her.

I cursed him out about his affair and he cursed me out about ignoring her calls but by the end...we both agreed that we loved her and wanted her to get better.

And we both agreed that she needed to be in a facility long-term.

That she needed a live-in facility and then to come back into a healthy environment.

Derek took the credit for her relapsing and promised that he would do right by her.

The issue was that because she had been loved by both me and Derek...she wasn't listening to us...she only listened to Quinn.

I was just a part of the clean-up crew when she broke down but as far as figuring out what she wanted...she ignored me and Derek.

And it was fucking infuriating.

"San?"

"What?" I snapped back at her...seeing Britt like this really got to me and she was singing the song Mine, at the top of her fucking lungs.

"Slow down."

"No...fuck that...she doesn't want to be considerate to us...fuck her...you hear me Britt? Fuck you!"

"San?"

"What?!"

"Please, baby...I'm freaking out. Just...slow down...please?" I looked in the rearview and saw that she was crying now. Britt had passed out against her and Q was holding tight to her...shaking and crying. "Please?"

"All you had to do was ask."

A/N: Okay, I'm done for today...thanks again for the love!

-A