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I'm sitting in my office looking at Maddie. She does her work like she would always do that but it's not true. Before I met her she was just a cheap whore. Oh wait, it wasn't cheap it was fucking expensive to fuck her and now she is so close to me I could fuck her free but she refuses me. She plays a little innocent saint. She says she doesn't want to fuck with me because I have a wife but she is very good at fucking with my mind. In one minute she makes a deal with me next minute she is with Sian being all friendly. We're going to have a talk about it however I'm in love with her and I'm ready to give up my life for her.
Sophie: Maddie, I want to talk to you.
She gives me attention.
Sophie: Why did you come to the other night to us? Why are talking to Sian?
Maddie: Well, I thought it would be nice making new friends.
Sophie: With my wife?! Are you stupid? I thought we had a deal.
Maddie: Fuck that deal. You won't control me.
Sophie: Do you want to move out?
Maddie: Would you really able to do that with me? I thought you care about me, at least that's what you said when you wanted me to quit.
Sophie: Of course, I care but there are rules.
Maddie: Rules? So you say while I live in flat which is rented by you, you will have control over me.
Sophie: It's not about control. It's about my marriage.
Maddie: Last time you wanted to leave her.
Sophie: I still want.
Maddie: Soph, you are so confused. You don't even realize what a dangerous game you are playing. You will lose your life that you live now. You will hurt Sian's feelings and I never said if you are leaving her then I'm going to be with you. Be careful what you do.
Then she goes back to her work.
It's not true. I'm not confused. I know what I want. I will show it to her.
That afternoon I feel very nervous. I'm waiting for Sian to arrive so I can tell her that I want a divorce. I hear when she comes home. I feel myself sweating. I don't how should I start it but I have to start somehow. Sian greets me with a kiss on my cheek. I know she realized something is not right.
Sian: Are you okay, babe? You look so…
I don't let her finish her sentence.
Sophie: Look, Sian. You are an incredible person. You are everything that I have ever wished for but lately something changed.
While I was talking I could see fear in her eyes. She knows it won't have a good end.
Sophie: I still love you, more like I like you a lot but that's not love anymore.
Tears coming down on her face.
Sophie: I'm sorry. I want to divorce.
She puts her hands on her facet o cover her tears and takes a big breath.
Sian: Why?
She asks in tears.
Sophie: I don't love you.
Sian: How can you say that? When did it happen?
Sophie: Look, I don't want to make this harder for you so I go packing now.
I go upstairs to pack some clothes and Sian comes after me.
Sian: Answer me! Yesterday everything was alright. You can't say that you fell out of love just like that.
Sophie: Well, I did.
I say as I packing.
She touches my hand and stops me from packing.
Sian: Please don't leave me! I love you.
Sophie: Don't do this.
Sian: We can talk. Let's talk and solve the problems like we always did.
Sophie: It's not like that. I made a decision. Please respect it!
Sian let go of my hand so I continued packing.
Sian: But answer when was the first time you felt you don't love me anymore.
Sophie: I don't know. Maybe a couple of weeks ago.
Sian: Then why did you agree to have a baby with me?
Sophie: I don't know.
Sian stands in the middle of our bedroom and cries.
I finish packing and before I leave I want to kiss Sian on the cheek but when I lean she slaps me hard.
Sian: Don't ever touch me again!
I don't have anything else to say so I leave the house. As I walk away I start crying as well. I don't know where should I go. Maybe to a motel? I don't know. At first I have to think over what I have just done. I left Sian who is pregnant. But I still want to be in my child's life. I was never question. I left Sian but not my child. I even will take her to the doctor regularly even if we are not together anymore if she wants it but I highly doubt it. I'm taking a deep breath as I take my steps. I need to calm down. Maybe I could go to Steve. Last time we talked he did not support my decision but he is my best friend. I can always count on him so I'm going to his house.
I'm at Steve's house knocking and waiting for answer. Then he opens the door and sees my bag which has my clothes.
Steve: Oh my God! Did you really do it?!
Sophie: Yes. Can I come in?
He lets me in but still has a surprised expression on his face.
I put down my bag and sit down on the couch.
Steve: Soph, I never thought you would do it.
Sophie: Did you think I was joking?
I say bit furious.
Steve: What did you tell Sian?
Sophie: That I'm not in love with her anymore.
Steve: You should tell her the complete truth, you know?
Sophie: It would only make things harder.
Steve: Don't you think the woman who spent years with you deserves to know why her life is falling apart?
Sophie: It's not…it won't fall apart.
Steve: Yes it will. You know that too.
I start to cry again. I feel awful about myself. Steve hugs me right away. He is such a good friend.
Later I'm still sitting on the couch and Steve brings me a cup of tea.
Steve: Let's talk about it again.
Sophie: I left her. That's all. There's nothing to talk about.
Steve: I don't think so. Poor Sian deserves the truth.
Sophie: Why hurt her more?
Steve: Sophie!
Sophie: What?
Steve: I tell you what I think now. You are awful and selfish. You are the most terrible person I know. I think you feel that too in your heart. If you want to be a better person if only with an inch you should tell Sian the truth.
Sophie: You convinced me. I'm gonna tell her but doesn't have clue how to do that.
Steve: Look, you just left her. It could be very hard too.
Sophie: Yes it was but thinking about breaking once more Sian's heart. That's cruel!
Steve: It's not! You know what was cruel?! That you started a relationship with a whore.
Sophie: Don't call her that. She' s not a whore anymore.
Steve: It's not the point.
Sophie: But I think it's the point because Maddie is the person for who I gave up my marriage.
Steve: So you want to be with her?
Sophie: With every inch of me.
Steve: You're an idiot but I like you.
I smile. I know Steve is always there for me when I mess up things.
Sophie: Can I stay?
Steve: Of course. That's not even question.
I sleep in the guest room. Well, not really sleeping…thinking. I have to figure out how to continue my life. There's so many questions and problems. I'm gonna divorce from Sian for sure. I'm going to get myself Maddie but don't how. I'm thinking about Sian. I imagine her as she lying in our bed, her eyes are bloodshot from the crying. She has pain and the worst is that I caused it. She can only blame me but I think I deserve it.
