Just a very short chapter! ;)

Well, I think I did the right thing when I left Sian but I still don't feel that my life is on the right track. About two weeks passed since I left Sian also when I last time saw her. We didn't talk each other. I never called Sian. Sian phoned me for a couple of times but I didn't want to talk to her. This is so hurtful that I'm gonna miss important things about my child even if it's unborn. I mean I always went with Sian to the appointments but now…I don't even know what's going on with Sian. I know it's all my fault but still it hurts. With Maddie…well, we still work in the same place but she is absolutely cold towards me. She just does her work and only talks to me when it's need. When I say something that is not in connection with work she doesn't even pay attention to me. But it's impossible that she is not in love with me. I know that she loves me. What she is doing now…it' all an act. I'm gonna do everything to make her forgive me, I'm gonna do everything to get her back.

I still live at Steve. Since he is my best friend it's not a problem for him that I'm here. Sometimes when I cry because of my life and everything he comforts me or entertain me somehow. We often go for some drinks in the pub. Also, Steve sometimes organises poker at his house. Last time me and Steve and Steve's friends had a good time. But those times when I feel myself happy doesn't last for too long.

Steve of course still tells me that I should tell Sian the truth I always say to him that I will and I think it seriously but I don't know when. He also tells me that we should talk but it's easy for him to say. From my point of view it's so much complicated maybe because I'm the one whose fault is that our life is falling apart.

Tonight I'm sitting on the couch with Steve watching a movie. Well, it's a boring historical film but Steve wanted to watch this so now I'm watching a movie which is terrible when I hear my ringtone. I look at screen of my cellphone. It's Sian. Sian calls me again. I'm thinking about answering it but maybe I'm not strong enough to talk to her. I don't know.

Steve: Answer her. You have to talk to her. You can't avoid it forever.

He is right.

I answer the phone as I go to my guest room.

Sian: I'm happy that you answered.

I can hear that she feel relieved because I'm talking to her.

Sophie: Yeah.

I just say yeah. Well, what should I say?

Sian: Don't you want to come over to have a talk?

Sooner or later I have to talk to her so why not now. She seems calm.

Sophie: Is it okay if go now?

Sian: That's fine. I'm waiting.

Sophie: Bye.

I go to the living room to tell Steve that I go to Sian to have talk with her.

Steve: Do you will tell her the truth?

Sophie: I will but not now.

Steve: Do what you want but you will feel better if you tell her the truth.

I change into decent clothes because I was wearing my pyjamas and I start my way to Sian.

I stand in front of the door. Should I knocking or ring the bell? Who cares? I'm just a way too nervous to…I don't know just nervous for obvious reasons.

What do you think? How will conversation between Sophie and Sian go? Is there a chance for them to make up? or is it a closure for their marriage?

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