CHAPTER TWELVE

CPOV

"Hey, Joe!" I shouted, running up the steps to his front porch, knocking out of politeness. His black car was parked in the driveway and I waited a few more seconds, all the while tapping my foot, for him to answer. I knocked again. "Joe? Anybody home?" When no reply came, I grabbed my spare key and opened the door. The hallway was empty, but as I walked past the kitchen I noticed a half prepared meal. Joe's probably on the phone or something, I think and walk into the lounge room.

Joe's house is extremely impersonalised. There was nothing, said a few photographs, that displayed that he even lived here. But I'd known this house for years. I plonked down on the couch, pulling out my phone. I checked Joe's last message and then the time. I was five minutes later and Mr Ninja wasn't here to scold me the moment I was within a miles radius? I chewed on my lip. Maybe something was up.

I stood again and walked to the door. "Joe? Solomon?"

Out of nowhere, Joe appeared at the top of the stairs. His face was red—like he's angry and worry churned over in my stomach. "Joe? Everything alright?"

"Sorry. We're going to have to reschedule for another time. Something came up." He grabbed my elbow, steered me away from the stairs.

"Whoa. Is everything alright?" I asked, turning to him. He opened the door and slipped me through the smallest gap. The door scraped the edge of my nose.

"Not really. I'll call you later though, alright? Sorry, C—" He cut off the rest of my name, kissed me on the forehead and walked back inside. I heard the click of the lock and huffed. What the hell? Not only had we been planning this small at home 'vacation' for weeks, but I was genuinely looking forward to it. I stood on the porch, debating my plan of action for my way home. Aunty had already dropped me off and was planning a day out of town. Grant was probably with Anna—it being a Saturday and all—and uncle was out at a rugby match. Damnit. Looks like I'm walking, I thought jogging down the stairs. I reached the bottom of the steps when another voice freezes me.

"Who was at the door?"

"No one you care about," Joe replied.

Was it—could it?

I run around the edge of the house to the nearest side window, looking into the kitchen. Joe walked into the room, standing behind the counter, picking up where he took off. A woman, tall, strong and beautiful stormed in behind him. Her hair was pinned back into a tight ponytail and she wore the same style of clothes she wore when I was at Gallagher.

Mum.

"Was that Cammie?" she demanded, facing Joe. Joe didn't answer and Rachel demanded again, "Was that Cammie at the door, Joe?"

"Yes. Yes it was."

Rachel looked surprised and I ducked my head a little further down. "Why would you even assume that I don't care about my own daughter? My only daughter?"

"Why haven't you returned her phone calls?"

"Call. She called me once."

"Well why haven't you replied to it?" Rachel looked stunned for a moment and I suspected she truly didn't have an answer to the question. Joe nodded his head, glancing down at his food. "Just as I thought. You don't have enough time to reply to her phone call, yet you can come down here for a visit. Are you even going to see Cammie?"

I already knew the answer before the word even crossed her chap stick covered lips. "I came down here to check up on her."

"So why don't you go see her then? For yourself. Then you can judge how she's handling the move." Joe cut a carrot in half and the knife makes a bang as it slams against the cutting board. Rachel held her cool, though. Something I did not inherit from her.

"Like she would tell me the truth. She trusts you. You're the only one who can give me an honest and accurate answer."

Joe stared at her. "I'm not giving you an answer."

"Why not?"

"Because I'm not betraying her trust! Not like you did with her. I'm here for her when she needs me, it's always been that way. You need to be too."

I lowered down into a crouch, placing my back against the wall. I listened to my mother's arguments, her pathetic excuses as to why she's never there, how she's always too busy. How she never planned her things to turn out this way and she doesn't know how to fix them. I listened and tears pricked my eyes, staining my cheeks before I can listen to this shit no more and run away.

BREAK

I waited for her visit all day—and night. I waited, assuming she'd feel some amount of guilt and would realise her mistake. That I made a mistake and regret it with my every breath. I waited, assuming that she would come over to say hello, if not to make amends. I waited and at ten o'clock at night, I assumed she would at least give me a damn phone call. Man, I was one big idiot.

I knew the saying about what happens when you assumed and it had totally come true.

Damnit, Cammie. You should never get your hopes up when it comes to that woman.

I dived into the backyard pool, running my hands along the bottom and waiting until my lunges ached until I surfaced for air. I floated on my back for a moment until I decided I liked being underwater a hell of a lot better. I dived under, reaching the bottom, struggling to stay there. I let the breath go out of my lungs slowly and sit there until they're burning and I can no longer stay under. I cling to the edge of the pool, my forehead pressed against the concrete border.

"Cammie!" Hands shook my shoulders. A second later, the lifted me out of the pool, onto the ground.

"Off!" I grunted. "What the hell?"

A head hovered above me, close, and their hand was rested on my thigh. I couldn't see their face. I could hardly see anything. My heart started to race and I acted on instinct. I slapped their hand away, rolled out from under them and let my leg fly into their chest, knocking them over.

"Cammie!" the voice hissed, backing away. "It's me. Zach."

My hands were clenched, ready to punch and I stood in the right position, my knees slightly bent in case I needed to charge or dodge. But when Zach's words registered in my brain, I still wanted to punch him.

"You idiot." I swung, intending to slap his arm, and he stepped out of my way. "Who the hell attacks somebody in the middle of the night?"

"Somebody who thought somebody might have been trying to kill themself!"

"Why would somebody possibly think that?"

"I don't know," he said sarcastically. "Because that other somebody didn't surface from the water for a very long time."

I threw my arms in the air. "This is ridiculous. I wasn't trying to kill myself. I just prefer it down there."

He snorted.

"What? You don't have a place that you think is better than being up here?"

He looked away and I smiled, triumph coating it. "At least it's not endangering to myself," he mumbled. I smiled, but turned my head into my shoulder, pretending not to hear him. Silence overtook the words, but a feel tugged at me. Regret... And Shame. What if I had secretly wanted that to happen? What if I didn't end up coming up? I could lose everything. My friends, family, and a future.

"Thank you," I said, looking at him. "I wasn't trying, but it could have happened. It doesn't take much for darkness to be permanent anymore." My voice was bitter and tears pricked my eyes, a name whispered by the wind made shivers crawl up my back.

James.

I wiped at the hot tears that slid down my cheeks and stood. My clothes clung to me and it only just occurred to me now I was in my pyjamas. I wrapped my arms across my chest and walked inside.

"Cammie?"

I turned around. There was a sweet, honest smile on his face. "Don't make me or anyone else do that again." My stomach tightened and I realised immediately what that feeling was. It was nervousness and excitement. His smile... He walked away and now it was my turn to make him pause.

"Zach?" I glanced down to the ground. "If I didn't make this deal with Grant... I might actually be tempted to sexually attack you right now."

Okay. So. That was not what I was planning on saying. I spun around and sprinted inside, making sure to lock the door behind me and not check if he was still standing there. But he was. And his mouth was gaping open just the slightest, a dazed look on his face.

BREAK

The next day, I could feel his eyes burning into me. But I rejected my automatic response to hunch over, turn my head and use my head as a curtain. That was not this new Cammie. New Cammie was smart, confident and did not do anything the Old Cammie would do. And that included the incident.

"Cammie!" Oh God. He was calling out to me! I quickened my pace, bursting into the building. "Wait." His hand grabbed my arm, spun me around and I blinked, pretending to be surprised. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah," I said, raising my voice for effect. "Fine. I think that concussion from last night wore off."

"Concussion?" His brow furrowed, but his lips twitched in amusement.

"Yeah. You know... the concussion."

"Right."

"Uh huh," I said immediately afterwards. What happened to my lying abilities? Did they disappear on me or something? Some skill that was. "So what's up?"

"Do we have rehearsal today? I kinda lost my schedule."

"Oh. Ah, no. We don't." He hummed, his face dropping in the slightest. "Are you alright, Zach?"

"Yeah, yeah. Fine. I was wondering if you needed a life home today? I know Grant's going out after school and I drove..."

I blinked, kind of frozen, but the world around me kept moving. Zach raised an eyebrow. "Um. Look, I don't—"

Zach moved closer, brushing up against me to whisper in my ear. "I need to talk to you. It's important."

"Fine," I caved. "I'll be at your car, waiting. Bye." I spun around, my knuckles strained white and couldn't get away fast enough.

BREAK

All day I tried to find another way home. Hell, even walking wouldn't be too bad. I could do it. If I hadn't decided to wear a new pair of wedges to school that weren't broken in to the point of long walks home.

I walked up to Zach's car, which was already rumbling, and got in. The first thing I noticed, besides Zach, was that it smelled clean. Really clean. As in, it didn't have dirt, chocolate bar wrappers and powerade bottles like Grant's car did. And it didn't smell of sweat. I clicked my seat belt in and he drove off.

I sat there in silence, knowing that the trip home wouldn't take all that long. It'd be over before I knew it. Except for the fact that Zach was pulling the car over and we weren't home. Nowhere close.

"Zach?" Nerves made my voice shaky.

"Relax. I just wanna talk." He turned the radio down and I swallowed.

"Okay then. Talk."

"What happened last night? And I want the truth, Gallagher Girl. Not some wish-washy lie like you can tell."

My hands clenched in my seat. "Look, I don't know what came over me exactly, okay? I was obviously frustrated and I wouldn't really attack you like that. Not that you aren't attractive and all—" My cheeks blazed and Zach just frowned.

"I was talking about the swimming thing. Not the... other thing." Zach looked away and it took me a moment to realise he was blushing, too. My eyes widened and I looked away. I was the biggest idiot on the planet. Biggest. Ever.

"Right. Of course that's what you wanted to talk about."

Zach cleared his throat and turned to look at me. "What happened?"

I closed my eyes and drew in a shaky breath. I didn't wanna talk about it, but I needed to talk to someone. And Zach would be the right person. He was kind at times and Grant's best friend so he wouldn't go out to try and hurt me. I could trust Zach.

"My mum's in town."

He studied my face. "And you don't like your mum?"

I shrugged. "It's complicated. My dad died about a year ago and since then I ... I got into some trouble. Mum wasn't being supportive so I went and found new ways to make myself better. I was fine, I just needed my mum. But then some... stuff happened and she sent me here because Gallagher Academy wasn't the best place for me apparently. Since then I haven't spoken to her. I left her a call and she never replied." Tears slid down my cheeks, but I barely noticed. My vision blurred. "I went to Joe's—Mr Solomon's—yesterday and she was there. But she wouldn't come see me. She wanted to use Joe as her personal messenger because she couldn't have the guts to come see me herself." The tears rushed faster now and my chest ached. How could she? She was my mother. She was meant to be there for me when I needed her.

Zach unclipped his seat belt and reached over to pull me into his hug. He smelled nice and was warm. I wanted to wrap myself in that scent and heat forever and never let go. It was so comforting. He was so comforting. He rubbed my back and my hair, whispered words to me to calm me down.

I pulled back, staring outside my window.

"Cammie. Why were you sent here?" he whispered.

The words fell out of my mouth before I could stop them. "Because I got my teacher killed."

WHHHAAAAT?

Yes. Yes, that's what happened. The specifics might surprise you. And because of that, to the person who either A) guesses it right or B) gets closest to the truth, I'm going to offer up a massively awesome, juicy OR a romantic scene from Cammie and Zach that I've written for a future scene. So guess away when you review!

I'm going to try and get ahead with writing. That way I can start sending out teasers to those who review. And thank you guys so much for being here even though it's been an insane four months since I last updated! And this was such an emotional chapter! Gah. Angst, angst, angst. But don't worry. The juicy stuff is coming soon ;)

I almost have an outline completely finished so you can bet that the chapter's should (no promises since I'm in my last year of high school!) come out a bit quicker. I'm going to put in more effort because every review I see makes me smile so much.

Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!

Ellen.