Anybody can face fear, but a true warrior faces fear saying 'fuck it.'

Chapter 30

"Hey, you're awake." Said Licca as I bumped into her as I entered Saki's Lab out of boredom. "...I know you want to get up and do stuff, but your job right now is to get rest. Oh, and I got the repair parts from HQ. I should be able to fix your God Arc and finish the exchange test on it within 2 days. But I was talking to Dr. Sakaki and... These Hannibal cells that got stuck to your God Arc are pretty tricky. I think we're going to need a full upgrade and new Bias Factors to stand a chance against this Aragami."

So not only did the Ruthless King man-handle me, he messed up my God Arc. Oh he would suffer a thousand deaths the next time we meet... and he'll be wishing that he couldn't get back up.

"Ah, I'm sure you have free time now. Would you like to attend my lectures for a change?" Ah, it's been a while since I've had a good Saki lecture.

"Yes please!"

"This is about an Aragami with tremendous regenerative powers. That's right, the one that destroyed your Arc. The Hannibal."

"The Ruthless King." I said bitterly.

"They only temporarily stop moving if you remove its core. The core quickly regrows in this new type of enemy. I can't say for sure whether it just has really fast re-binding abilities or if they have multiple cores... Either way, no matter how much cut up a Hannibal, even with your Arc, all you can do is temporarily stop it from moving. We need to strengthen the Bias Factor again. When that time comes, you'll be back to working hard. Rest while you can."

"But, I'm tired of resting Saki. I'm bored, I need something to spread my time with."

He chuckled at my antics. "Well, why don't you visit Hibari. I'm sure she could use the company." Taking his advice I left for the Entrance and talked to Hibari for awhile.

Suddenly the alarm went off saying an Aragami has invaded the Den. But with all active God Eaters out of the Den there was no one to repel it. And Tsubaki still had my spear and knife, crap! Hibari jumped into action, trying to get into contact with the closest unit.

"The Floor will be closed in 300 seconds! Evacuate immediately to another Floor! The closes is the Defense squad... Tatsumi, can you hear me? Please be serious. It's an emergency! Please return to the Den!" Damn, I feel so helpless. "Yes, currently only non-combat staff remain in the Den." Like hell with that, I can still fight! I need to get my God Arc. Why am I still standing here, let's go. "Yes... Hurry, please hurry!" Hibari said, probably noticing what I was about to do.

Entering the Hangar I notice Licca locking away the God Arcs.

"Why are you here? If you're looking for your God Arc it's still unusable." She answered for me. "You can't go to the front if you can't fight. I'm leaving once I lock the God Arcs." It doesn't matter, any of the others will do... Lindow's is still open. "What?! You can't take that, that's Lindow's God Arcs!" As I grabbed it, it felt like my hand was being devoured with fire being pushed through my veins again. "Let go! Your body will reject a foreign God Arc! You'll be devoured by it's Oracle Cells!" It felt as if it was trying to Resonate with me so I Resonated back.

'Please, just for a while. Fight with me so I can protect my pact!' The door exploded, knocking Licca out from its force as a Vajratail entered the Hanger. Finally I was able to pull the God Arc out. As the Vajratail tried to go after Licca, I struck it back.

But then a painful Resonances flashed through my head bringing me down to my knee as I cried out in pain. The Vajratail was going to take advantage of my state when shots from behind me pushed it back. A boy?

"Can you stand?" He shot some more shots. "Hurry, finish it off!"

With that I got to my feet to give it the final blow, but the painful Resonance still flowed through me, knocking me out cold. As I faded to the darkness I heard the boy's fading voice as he ran to me.

"Are you alright?"

****** Sick Bay ******

Again, waking up in the Sick Bay, I hope this doesn't become a habit. This time Licca and the boy from before were leaning over me.

"Oh have you come to?" The boy asked before Licca cut him off.

"Have you come to? Thank God!" She then embraced me as I stood up. "You're always so reckless... Promise me, that you'll never hold someone else's God Arc again. A non-match God Arc's Oracle Cells will devour you... and then anything can happen." Then she got back to her seat. "Everyone will be back soon. I'll tell them you're awake. And I'll come by later." With that said, Licca got up to leave waving goodbye as she left. They boy waved back to her.

"Licca, she's a good person isn't she. She really knows how a God Arc ticks." I just stared at him, wondering who this boy was. "... Oh, sorry... I haven't introduced myself yet. I'm a new Gods Eater, I've been assigned to the Medical unit. Please, call me Ren."

He tilted his head to the side and smiled making him look so cute. His behavior reminded me of Shiro.

"I was suppose to join this Branch tomorrow. But luckily my schedule has been pushed up. My specialty is Military Medicine, Research on Aragami infection and core. This Branch is truly at the front-lines. I hope I don't end up hindering anyone."

"You just saved my life, I don't think you'll be a hinder at all."

"Oh, forgive me. You're still not well! Lye down and get some rest. Feel better!"

"Well, always follow the doctor's orders." I said lying back down then turned my head to look at him. He gave me a tilted head smile again with a chuckle. "You are just adorable. I have a little brother just... like... you." I slowly faded back to dreamland. Fearing that when I wake up my pact would be spitting hellfire.

****** The next day ******

"Are you okay? You're not at your best yet. You should get some rest. It's too late if you break down too..."

"I'm fine Ren." I said getting up. "I'll never get better sitting around, I got too much to do. I'll probably be back here soon."

"Why?"

"Cause after the stunt I pulled my pact is going to tear into me." I joked with him as I left the Sick Bay. But headed to Saki's Lab to ask about this piece of God Arc stuck in my hand. He took a look for me.

"Hm... Lindow's God Arc is stuck inside your hand. You could start transforming into an Aragami any minute now. But it's not active. Maybe its because you're a New-Type. Hrm... Either way, you're in a dangerous situation. You have to let us know if anything starts to feel weird. Alright?"

"I'm terrified to face my pact... does that count?"

"You should be," said Licca. "I'll say this again. Don't be so reckless. If you touch someone else's God Arc... It could be rejected... Or death. At worst, you'll turn an Aragami and your friends will have to kill you... I never want to see anything like that, so please. Don't ever be so reckless."

"I... understand." I said deflated, I knew I would be faced with this kind of reaction once I woke up.

"Anyway, I'm done fixing your God Arc."

"Good, I can go say sorry to it after cheating on it." With that said and done I left, heading out I bumped into Gen.

"I heard you used Lindow's God Arc. You're either really brave, or just really stupid to do something like that."

"It's probably a bit of both sir."

"It's Lindow's blessing that you're still alive. Using someone else's Arc is hell for that person as well as everyone else. The moment you begin turning into an Aragami, you're killed. And it's your comrades that have to do the job." The consequences of my actions was finally reaching me, and they were tearing me apart and Gen was seeing it. "Well, whatever... You survived. You better take care of your life."

Tsubaki lectured me too, but not as hard. After all that I've done, Hibari was the only one to thank me for my sacrifice.

"I think Licca was still a little mad, but... Thanks to you, we're all saved. I'm grateful."

"It was worth it, just to hear your voices again another day in this world."

****** A couple of days later ******

Yes! At last I found one, a male human-like Aragami. He gave me a little trouble, but that's cause he wasn't alone. I can take this one... an Aether... perhaps, I can continue with my personal plans. However, I must complete one goal at a time, my personal plans will have to wait.

With that aside the others have returned to the Den. Although I am happy at their safe return, I dread it too for their response to my actions. I tried not to think about it even went on a few solo missions. But that got Tsubaki even more angry with me. All I did was take out a Kongou; a Gboro; a Magnetic Gboro; a Chi-You; a Sekhmet (to my disliking); a Fallen Sariel; a hoard of Cocoon Maidens; a herd of Golden Gboro; a Polar Kongou, Gboro, and Chi-You at once; an Ouroboros; a Frost Gboro and a Quadriga; a Hera (which gave me a run for my money); and a herd of four Vajras. She acts as if I took out an army, all I can say is it took a lot of flash grenades and Recovery Pills. But I needed the distraction to drive away the fear of my pact's wrath. Well I cant stall it anymore, I best head back and greet them.

****** The Hanger ******

"So the charming hero returns." I was greeted as I entered the Hanger.

"Hey Gina."

"You really do some crazy things... I'll just continue to pray that the day won't come when I'll have to shoot you."

"Never going to happen, besides I won't be able to make lovely flowers for you anymore if that happened."

She laughs at this. "Silly girl, you're already in bloom. But I long to never see you wilt."

"Hm, then I'll be sure to drink plenty of water. But I best go face the music now."

"Good luck."

"Thanks," leaving the Hanger I entered the elevator to head for the Entrance. As I unpacked my salvaged items Alisa cornered me.

"Kota told me not to tell you this, but... He said everyone would be scolding you, so we should at least be nice to you." Yes, I could really use that right now. "He really is considerate sometimes... That aside, I'd still like to scold you Leader!" Damn it! "You've been pushing yourself way too hard these days. Sure, it's just a lot of bad luck happening at the same time. But you seem like you're just rushing to die. I get really worried sometimes."

"... Thank you for having such confidence in me Alisa."

"N-no I didn't mean it like that!"

"Listen, I'm not going out there to die. I have too much to return to at home to leave it for good. Everything I do... all the times I get hurt... it's to save another life. I wish people would see that before they berate me. At my reckless action to save the Den, only one person thanked me while everyone called what I did stupid. But I would gladly do it again if I could go back in time to save them, all of them again."

"L-leader I-"

"Don't... please, no more. I'm so tired Alisa, and I was dreading this moment. I know you care, really I know, but I just want to be appreciated for my sacrifice... just a little. Please, don't beat me down anymore, not you. I've already been beaten down by everyone else, please not also by the people close to me."

When she said nothing I walked pass her and headed to the elevator, but that's when Kota jumped me.

"You really pulled off some crazy stuff, but I guess if I were in that situation I would've done the same..." I smiled at him for being one of the few people to understand what I needed the most.

"That's because you have a big heart." He was taken aback by this but recovered quick.

"Oh! More importantly, I missed the last episodes of Bugurally! You weren't on a mission, you were able to watch it, right? Can you tell me what it was about later?"

"Actually, I just recently got my God Arc back and have been bombarding myself with missions." I smiled at his face deflating knowing it wouldn't last long." However, I did return when the episode came on. Knowing you'd want to see it I recorded it and sent it to you by email. Check your Terminal, it should be in your email file." He bear hugged me off the ground for that.

"Thanks Okami! You're the best!"

"Anytime Kota. When you finish watching it we can trade comments on our favorite parts."

"Gotcha!" He said as I entered the elevator to head to the Lab, since Saki wanted constant updates on my condition.

I don't know why everyone's over reacting, I feel fine. Emotionally tired from their lectures, but fine.

On the way to the Lab I bumped into Ren in the hallway. 'You're not showing any signs of Aragami Transformation. I'm so glad, I was really worried for a moment there. I know a bit about the whole Aragami Transformation. Let me know if there's anything I can help you with!"

"Thanks, Ren. But I'm alright. I was heading to Saki for that reason right now. I'll see you around, I look forward to fighting along side you soon."

He gave me one of his cute smiles,"likewise."

Leaving him I entered the Lab. My checkup went well, Saki said I was fine. But kept me there for a bit longer.

"If you had some time, I wanted to tell you about Aragami Transformation. It's kind of long. Do you want to listen?"

"Please, tell me."

"Okay, so strictly speaking, God Eaters like yourself have already gone through Aragami Transformation. The proper P53 Bias Factor allows for a controlled Aragami Transformation, which is how a Gods Eater is born. Under these conditions, there are 3 major causes that can transform a Gods Eater into an Aragami."

He paused letting the info sink in.

"The first is an excessive intake of the P53 Bias Factor. The second is an outbreak of other Bias Factors or Oracle Cells. God Eaters who undergo Aragami Transformation due to these causes have a tendency to attack God Arcs and God Eaters. You fit neither of these. The third cause being, absorbing Oracle Cells of a God Arc that was not matched to yourself. I have no idea what will happen, which is why I want to let you know that you'll have to trust me and your friends."

"I already trust you Saki, you never have to doubt that."

"Hehe, do I sound like a Director now?"

"You lack the air."

"Anyway, this sounds a bit corny, but we're a family no matter what. Understand"

"Understood." I smiled at him for being the dear Saki who never judged.

"Good, why don't you get some rest. You've had a long day."

"What?"

"I'm the Director now, don't think I haven't noticed the load of missions you've taken by yourself these past two days."

"Ha ha, I can never hide from you. But I did want to hide from the judgement of my pact."

"They care about you Okami. They're just worried about you."

"I know, but... I'm just so tired of being reprimanded for saving lives."

"You shouldn't save lives at the cost of your own."

"I'm still here aren't I." But then I softened my voice to get my message through. "And I'll be here, just when you need me the most."

With that I left for my room to get some rest. Today was a rough day, I had more trouble at the Den than I did with the Aragami. And I could use the shut eye. Standing outside the elevator door to the Veterans Floor was Sakuya.

"Hey, Sakuya... you're not going to lecture me too are you?"

"No, you've had enough of that already. But jeez, that recklessness of yours really reminds me of somebody. Anyway, now that your God Arc is fixed... Straighten your back and stand tall. I look forward to my next mission with you, Leader."

"(giggle) Yes ma'am."

"Oh, by the way, you should go check on Soma. He was really worried about you... in his own way."

Well, I already checked in on everyone else. I can't miss him, besides he's on the way to my room, so why not. Mine as well get this over with. "Alright."

Taking a deep breath, I walked to his room. I hesitated at first on knocking on the door, having a good idea how he would react to my presence now along with my past actions. But that won't stop me, I'm no coward. I'll face his wrath chest out and chin up.

With my spirit returned I knock on his door, but no answer. I knocked again, still no answer. But his door wasn't locked like it usually was so I let myself in.

As I opened the door he was there on the opposite wall, watching me. As if he knew I would come and just waited. He said nothing and didn't move an inch. And just like that I started to want to just go right back out the door, run into my room, and hide under my bed. But such thoughts were for madness and children; I just got done facing a herd of Vajras by myself, why would I be scared to face Soma? Slowly I walked forward to approach him, stopping at just the distance I noticed that he subconsciously was comfortable with people getting close to him at.

"... Hey Soma."

"..."

"How have you been?"

"..."

"Did your mission go well?"

"..."

"... The Den was quiet without you-" I was startled to a stop as his anger got the best of him. In a quiet rage, without moving the rest of his body or taking his eyes off me, he swirled his right arm around, slamming his fist on the window screen behind him. The window cracked on impact.

"Think before you act." He growled out.

"Soma I-"

"You're not an easy person to replace, you know. I suggest you understand your responsibilities." Something about his words made my heart accelerate, the fear was gone. All that was left in its space was warmth.

"Oh, I see." His anger slightly decreased. "You really do care about me, don't you?"

"Don't get any ideas. It'd just be a hassle finding a new leader, that's all."

"Now, now it's alright. I'm okay." I got closer to him. "I'm sorry if my recklessness scared you. But rest assured, I'm not going anywhere."

"Your life is no concern of mine." He growled at me.

"Says the guy who just broke his window screen in a fit of rage." He growled louder in defiance. But ignoring his display I took his hand in mine. "Aw, you were just scared that's all... Afraid to lose another one from your pact."

"Hey, what are you doing?!" With his hand in mine I lead him away from the wall. With all his protest he sure lacks the fight. But I continued on leading him toward his bed.

"Don't worry, you're not losing anything... or anyone."

"No, wait!" Ignoring his protest I walked to the far end of the bed.

"It's alright, I'm right here."

"W-we can't do this!" I pulled him onto the bed as I sat on it letting his head rest in my lap.

"Can't do what?" During the motion his hood fell off his head giving me leeway to gently brush my hand though his hair. "What's wrong?"

"Wh-what? What are you doing?" Did he just stutter? I can feel his cheek getting warmer on my lap, is he alright?

"You seemed scared, I was going to comfort you like I do for Shiro when he's scared. What did you think I was doing?"

"Nothing..." As my hand gently ran through his hair his body started to relax.

"Don't worry, I'll chase the bad thoughts away... This is an old lullaby my mother use to sing to us. I've never tried translating it to words so please bare with me." With that a gently as I could I snag my mother's song.

"In the bleak mid-winter, frosty winds may blow.

Earth stood hard as iron, Water like a stone.

Snow as fallen so once more, snow on snow on snow.

In the bleak mid-winter, oh so long ago.

What can I give you, poor as I am.

If I was but stronger, I would take your fears.

If I was but wiser, I would do my part.

Yet, what can I give you. I will give my heart.

In the bleak mid-winter, frosty winds may blow.

Earth stood hard as iron, water like a stone.

If I was but wiser, I would do my part.

Yet, what can I give you. I will give my heart."

As my song came to a stop I noticed Soma's gentle breath tickling my legs. Looking down, I was graced with seeing Soma's rare peaceful face. It's rare to catch Soma asleep, even if you do, he's usually plagued by nightmares and is restless. But I'm happy to see the sweet dreams written on his peaceful face.

I knew that old method would chase away his bad thoughts, it works every time. I guess I should go now. But as I went to get up, while gently holding his head so as not to joust him, his cheeks lean into my hands and his body turns to me. His nose presses into my stomach and his arms wrapped around my middle, trapping me. I guess I wont be going anywhere for a while. Leaning back onto the wall behind the bed, I return my hand to gently running through his hair while I gradually let sleep take a hold of me.

Wait! I still haven't punched him... ah, I'll take care of that tomorrow.